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 Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:27 pm
Rhian tilted her head and fluttered her wings a bit faster. "But what if your hurting him makes...... makes his scenery black? What if your hurting him hurts more than you know?" She paused and flicked her antennae. "How do you even know if he's okay or going to be okay, how do you know he's better off if you're trying to be all by yourself?" She was worried for this man, for the "him" her was referring to, for everybody caught in this very sad and hurtful mess.
"What if your hurting him now has made it worse for him? And - and maybe he'd been hurt in the past, too, maybe he was a sad person until you came, and you made him happy? Wouldn't it hurt more then if you left?" She didn't understand the situation well enough yet to properly help.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:11 pm
Kaosu tried not to focus too much on Rhian's words. She was asking some very uncomfortable questions. She was making some very uncomfortable points. If he was not careful, she would undermine his careful logic. He could no longer rationalize his choice. And if he grew to regret said choice... he did not know what he would do. "I-I can't deal in what if's. All I can consider are facts. He is young: he'll recover. Even if he never forgets me, Trystan will recover. Even if he hurts more than I do, that hurt will eventually numb and fade. And better he be numb than d-d-dead."
His gaze dropped back to the dirt. "Just like me. This guilt will fade eventually. This pain will go away. It always does. So don't bother attempting to help me... your owner will most likely be displeased if he or she discovers you've sneaked out."
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:28 pm
Rhian tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment, considering this stranger's words. "Ellandra helped me read a book the other day, to help me learn how to help better and with more things; it talked about ... a lot of stuff I don't really understand yet, but I remember it said something about people who hurt so much they, um.. they die..... 'cause they want to, and they make it happen." She paused, then continued, "Are you sure he won't be like that?"
Finally, the butterfly went silent and just looked at him for a long moment, not having caught the name-dropping due to her focus on the stranger's emotional state along with her own thoughts. "If you won't let me help you, will you tell me who you hurt so I can help him?" She didn't mention that getting him thinking was actually already helping him, she could feel him starting to question his actions a little more - hopefully this talk would do some good. "And Ellandra won't be awake for a while longer, I don't have to leave yet.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:59 pm
"She helped you... read a book?" Kaosu repeated, sounding skeptical. He had little faith in the texts about emotions. Not anymore, anyways. The classics had lied. "You mean suicide," he added. His heart leapt into his throat. Surely Trystan wouldn't... he couldn't, could he? He was smarter than that, right? "I-I-I know him better than that. He would not be so reckless." He did not sound very sure of himself.
"Yes, I would owe you if you helped him. His name is Trystan Chevalier. You think you can make sure he never gets more reckless?" he replied almost shyly. This Essentic. She must be a social. "Ellandra, hm? So she's your master? Who is she?" he continued, hoping to change the topic off of his failures. Hopefully the inquiries would distract her so he could distract himself.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:10 pm
Rhian noticed this man's uncertainty immediately - how could she not, he was practically screaming it?-, and would have pressed onwards had he not said a name that she knew well Instantly, the butterfly was in the stranger's face, inches away from him. "Trystan-pretty-eyes? Ellandra-husband-Faolan's brother Trystan? Who has Crux, Sibling-Zi's kiss-kiss partner?" Yes, sir, you do have a giant insect staring at you from just beyond your nose. Please put away the bug spray now.
"Ellandra isn't really a master, she's more a mama than an owner and she doesn't like being called master or owner anyway," she added, too polite not to answer his question but much more focused on the more important matter - that it was her "uncle" who had been hurt by this man. This sounded like something Ellandra and Ellanda-husband would need to know, if Trystan-pretty-eyes was hurt. . . but she couldnt' tell them without explaining how she knew, and she couldn't do that, either. Well, if she got caught sneaking out sometime, maybe then she could tell them. For now, she was going to find out as much as she could so she could help as much as possible.
From the sound of it, her "uncle" would be needing it, maybe more than this man did.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:33 pm
Kaosu recoiled when Rhian seemed to recognize Trystan's name. Not good. She definitely knew him. Why had he given her such precious information? "I t-take it the two of you have met?" he quietly ventured, more so making a statement than asking a question. Crap crap crap. This "Ellandra" must be Faolan's wife. He did not want that fortune teller to know about their relationship. He did not want him to discover he had broken his best friend's heart. He did not want him to have any more reason to hate him. This pesky Essentic...
Her closeness definitely made him uncomfortable. Somehow, he found the self control to resist swatting her away. With an awkward determination, he refused to meet her gaze. "Regardless of you call her, she is your master. Would her last name happen to be Grady?" He would try to shift the subject again. He needed to pick this butterfly's brain now: he needed to ensure she would not snitch.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:46 pm
"Yes, yes, Trystan-pretty eyes is very kind. And you're hurt, and he's hurt, and that makes me sad." Rhian said, moing backwards after a moment so she wasn't quite so invasive. "And yes, that's Ellandra's last name. . . and I'll help trystan-pretty-eys to get better if you've hurt him, I promise."
Getting angry wouldn't do this situation any good, anger wasn't good for helping, and he felt like he had his reasons, though hopefully this man would realize soon that they weren't very good ones - most reasons for hurting weren't, they were excuses for other things."I couldn't tell on you anyway, mister, if you're so scared of that. I don't know who you are, and I'm not supposed to be outside anyway." Reassure, calm him, she couldn't help him if he worried.
"Would you like me to help Trystan-pretty-eyes to feel better? I'll try anyway, but i'd like to know if you'd like that."
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:46 am
"Why do you care if I'm hurt? You don't even know who I am," Kaosu replied incredulously, still avoiding looking at her. He wanted to believe that the silly creature could help him. Could help Trystan. But there was not enough faith left in him for him to trust some Essentic.
"I'm not scared of you telling. It just could make things worse," he clarified dryly. Why could he not walk away? Why could he not keep his mouth shut? He had no reason to chat it up with some insect. "Why are you wandering around like this if you're not supposed to be outside?"
"Help Trystan only if he wants your help," he stated absently.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:25 am
"Does it matter if I know who you are? I just want to help you! But if you need a reason, Trystan-pretty-eyes loves you, it seems, and so I want to help you, too!" Was this man so hurt and had hurt people so much that he couldn't understand th concept of helping?
Rhis flicked her antennae and fluttered around the stranger, still the innocent flutterby even with her recent nighttime adventures. "Because I wake up a lot at night and everyone's asleep, and it's boring so I thought it would be nice to come outside for just a little while, when no-one's around."
She flicked antennae again, then folded her arms, watching him. "And if he wants to die like the book said? Am I not supposed to help him then, even if he doesn't want it?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:26 pm
Kaosu tried his best to ignore the innocent butterfly even as she floated around his head. He was doing a fairly decent job of regaining his cool. No more spilling his guts. No more fraternizing with the enemy. "People do not usually bother helping strangers. It is dangerous. If you want to help Trystan, you have no business talking to me." I can only make things worse.
"Walking around at night is not safe. Sure, it's okay when no one's around... but when someone IS around..." he trailed off. Why bother scolding someone else's pet?
"You should not believe everything you read. Trystan wouldn't... I'm not that important to him. He's stronger than that." His voice was not very confident. He was clearly rationalizing. "But if he d-does, you must stop him. Whether he wants you or not. No pain is worth taking a life." Hypocrite.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:56 pm
Rhian tilted her head. "But I want to help you, and if Trystan loves you, you're not really a stranger, either. And I don't think he'd want you to hurt any more than he hurts." The butterfly drew closer to this man again, her antennae flicking around, two little glowbulbs in the darkness.
"If he loves you, then you are important to him. I know Trystan-pretty-eyes, and he said once he doesn't like love because it makes you hurt, could make you hurt. . . so if he loves you, he loves you a lot because he took that chance, and having you leave would hurt very, very much. . ." She could only do so much for this man, she wasn't good enough yet, wasn't skilled enough. But she could do one thing, though.
"I promise, though, I'll keep him safe, try to help him, but will you think about coming back to him sometime, just to check on him?" It couldn't hurt to ask, after all.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:09 pm
Kaosu wanted to turn away... This Essentic was interfering with his angst. She was forcing him to think. She was damaging his rationalizations. Did she not know that by breaking his desperate logic, she could break him even worse? "How much I hurt does not matter," he lied flatly. Trystan was the only one who mattered. This cheerful little creature should focus on him and leave Kao to his self-pity.
"Yes, love makes you hurt. Love always makes you hurt," the redhead concurred in a melancholy tone. "But it won't kill a man. Trystan and I did not take a chance. We had no choice in the matter. We were forced to risk our feelings, and we both lost. But we will not die~"
Finally, he melted a bit. "I don't really think a soul-less puppet such as you can keep him safe, but for trying.... t-thanks," he added shyly. "I can't ever come back, though. If I come back I'll never leave again."
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:17 pm
Rhian flicked her antennae, a bit miffed at being called a "soulless puppet". "I'm not a puppet, and I'm not soulless, I have emotions and feelings... but that's an old wound on you, I think, one I'm not good enough at helping to heal just yet. And I think.... you might die, the way you're feeling. Unhappiness may not cause you to die, but it makes you not be careful," she said, eyeing the injury she'd noticed earlier, even in the dark.
"But you're right, I can't help you. Not until you've thought more, and are more open to it. If you ever come back here, let's talk again, okay? I know you don't like me, and don't want my help, but I like you." And that was the truth. She couldn't hate this man, not when he was so broken up and hurting and confused. No matter what he'd done, she just couldn't hate him
"You're welcome, though, because I'm glad to help him. . . and if you proise me one thing - it's not to come back - then I'll leave and go home, okay?" There now, it's just one little request mister, can you think about agreeing to it?
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:28 pm
Kaosu finally glanced up at Rhian, eyeing her, "An old wound? What makes you think that?" She was wrong. He could not believe that she might be sentient. Have genuine emotions. He could not believe her because if that were true, he'd have to face a dangerous thing called regret. "Don't worry -I was never careful to begin with."
His bluntness faded slightly. "I don't... dislike you. But please understand that I might never come back," he admitted awkwardly. Something about her charm. Her cute demeanor. He could not shut her down so cruelly as he had with Ziazan.
He raised a brow, "That depends on what you want me to promise." It did not matter that much. If she asked him something he did not want to do, he would simply ignore the request.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:40 pm
Rhian flicked her antennae a few more times. "I sense it. A very very old hurt, not completely healed, maybe one that can never fully heal, very buried under other things," she said carefully, not wanting to push too far on that.
"I understand, but never's a very long time, so I don't think it's impossible to see you again someday." She rather liked him, really, despite all the hurt and the pain and the anger, and whatever it was he'd done besides hurting Trystan-pretty-eyes that made him so broken.
"I just want you to try and think, sometimes, without ra- ratio- what's that word? Ra-tion-a-liiiiii-zing, that word. Yes, please, please just think, don't try to explain away, just think. Think about your hurts, and others' hurts, just now and then, no excusing, no justifying. I know that's a lot to promise though, so I just want you to try now and then if you can.
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