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 Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:53 pm
He could barely hear her speaking. His legs were threatening to give out as he stood there and looked out the den door. They could be there. Right around the corner. Down by the river. Anywhere... they could be hiding anywhere from him... waiting for him. Demons in the back of his mind that wouldn't go away, always looming around every corner, trying to drive him insane.
And doing a damn good job.
"I can't... Ylva..." he could't even try to take a step forward. "Please, I can't do this... I can't..." Their faces haunted him. He knew if he tried to move now, he might very well pass out. Flashes of everything that had happened to him were blazing in his mind.
They could be outside. They were outside, somewhere. Somewhere...
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:54 pm
Ylva growled at him for a short moment but gave up. There was no way that she was going to scare the brave into him when he was scared of something else that must be a greater horror. Still, Ylva wasn't happy about it. She just looked at Asa for a short time before turning her back on him and heading up her self acting like he wasn't have a case of the crazies in the tunnel.
At the top she turned down to him and yelled, "Stay here Asa, I'll be back with food."
There was no use in forcing him. This boy was going to need to take small steps. Ylva wasn't angry at him as much as she was with her self for being so selfish. The female hadn't meant to push him so far his mind would give out to his demons but it was obvious that the hyena was going to need much more time to heal.
The female started off in a slow bear like trot she was used to so that she might find something the two of them could eat.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:34 pm
Asa watched her go and reached out to her for a moment before pulling back his paw. She was angry. But he didn't have to go outside. So he hung his head and turned around, walking back into the den and lying down where he had woken up that morning. He had to stop shaking. He had to get a grip.
"I'm sorry Ylva..." He whispered, covering his head and letting out a sob. His demons were getting too firm a hold on him. They were attacking him in ways that he didn't know how to deal with. That he had never been prepared for. But the idea of being outside in a place where Kavu was...
...and he knew that sooner or later he was going to tell Ylva. He was going to have to explain what had gone so wrong. He wouldn't start with Kavu... he couldn't start with Kavu. But maybe... maybe he could start with Biku. Maybe he could at least let her know that he had always done his best. That he had tried to be good, and despite his best efforts, he had failed.
"I'll tell you... my story at least..." Because she deserved that. She deserved to know who she had saved. At least befre he died.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:23 am
The hyena female, though she'd never confess, had always wandered what Asa's story was. Not when the two had first met, she could have cared less, but when she started feeling bonded to the other. Though, Ylva would never outwardly admit it, she had feelings for Asa. The least she could do now was listen and finally find out why Asa was still haunted by his past.
So, naturally, Ylva turned and headed down the tunnel back to Asa. The anger had desolved some, but she still frowned as she headed toward Asa.
"Alright," Ylva said, "Lets head back down and have a listen to what your story is." The hyena sighed heading down the tunnel on paw rather then sliding. Mainly because she didn't want to knock Asa on his a** and then be from have to start nursing him physically back to health again.
The female looked back up at Asa and gave him a nod to join her.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:57 pm
Asa nodded, sitting beside her and taking a deep breath, "I suppose... I'll start at the beginning. I was born in a pack with my sister Dabiku... We were twins, a sacred position. I was told... from the day I was born that because of the way we had been born, because we looked so alike... it was my sacred duty to sacrifice my sister to our God. She was taught that she was to die and be his bride." He very nearly laughed.
"It's pathetic... looking back. But it's what we were always told. I believed all my life that Biku was sacred... and that we would grow up, and I would kill her and send her to the Gods. And she was... so sweet... so kind and innocent. When we grew up... when the time came closer..." He paused, gathering himself, "I began to question our destiny. That she should die... that I would lose her forever. She was my whole world. My whole being revolved around her existance... and I began to feel that I couldn't live without her." Such a feeling was so far from being sacred... so against what he had been taught. "It goes against everything I was ever taught. She had to die to protect our pack and bring the herds back to us."
He took a deep breath, "On the night I was supposed to kill my sister... I couldn't do it. I couldn't take her life, not when I loved her so much... I turned us into outcasts, and I took her, and I ran. She didn't understand... and I had to lie to her. I had to tell her I would kill her after we had seen the world... I lied, because the only way she would leave our home was if she thought she would die." He stared at the ground, "My sister begged me to kill her."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:54 pm
Ylva just watched Asa's face as he told his story. Her face was blank from any emotion at all , she just listened and watched the others face. What she was hearing sickened her. Her feelings didn't show on her face but she felt so sick hearing it she wanted to puke.
She didn't say anything because she knew there was more to be told, but she watched with her cold hard eyes of stone and listened. Ylva wanted to find this pack of his and kick there asses for brain washing such small children and putting such a heavy weight on a childs shoulders. It was sickening, more then sickening.
So, Ylva bite her tongue and merely nodded for Asa to continue. Her cold hard eyes trained to his.
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:02 pm
He took a deep breath for the next part, "But it seems the Gods would always punish us for what we did... for taking away the sacrifice from the Gods, my pack was... they died. All of them. Plauge... famine... it ravaged them and killed all of them. Biku and I... we're all that's left." He laughed a little, "We're all that's left... and I... they died because I took her away. My friends... my family... but I couldn't let myself kill her... I just couldn't... she's my sister. I love her."
He looked at the ground, not sure what to say after that, "And even now... after all I did... if I had known then what I know now... I don't know if I would have done anything different... if I..."
Asa looked up at her, "I'm pitiful, aren't I? They were going to kill her... I was always taught to kill her... I should hate them for what they did... I should be glad they're dead. But I loved them all so much... and because I was selfish... she would have died. She would have been happy too. Now everyone is gone... I don't even have a home I can go back to now. And she'll never take me back now... I failed her. I failed everyone. I couldn't have made a right choice... there was no right choice."
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Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:44 am
Ylva nodded at the pitiful statement. He said it for her so she didn't feel the need to re say what had been said. The story sounded aweful but, at the same time, it didn't explain how he ended up in the riverbeds rocks. Or maybe it did? He could have thrown him self over the edge of a cliff.
"Did you bury the bodies?" The hyena had grown with humans that buried the dead so she also figured everything else did the same for their dead. Ylva's face was still the same icey stone cut emotionless face it had been earlier. She didn't want to show him what she thought of his story. If she frowned she didn't want to see what it would do to Asa. As hard as that was she also bit back comments she wanted to say. Right now wasn't the time when he clearly was to weak in side.
"We can go back some time and leave offerings on their graves so that they may be happier in the great beyond," Again it was a human tradition Ylva had picked up living among the humans. She, every blue moon, would go visit her boys grave and just lay there on top of it. Even though his death had broken something inside of her, it still felt good to at least visit his grave.
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:36 pm
"Bury them...? No. I never went back there, or saw the bodies... what I heard was second hand... and unfortunatly true." Kavu had been the first one to tell him, but others had mentioned it as well. They were dead, all dead. And he could never go back there. He could never see what happened to her. "I can't ever go back to that place."
Not his home, not when it was his fault. "How could I look at any of them ever again? When I killed all of them... when it's all my fault, and they were punished for my actions?" He hung his head, covering his eyes with his paws, "How could I ever... ever let them see what a failure I became. That they died for nothing... that I couldn't even protect her once I saved her life..."
On that note, he froze. Too close to Kavu. He couldn't bear to say that out loud. What had happened to him and Biku... what no one should have ever had to go through. Not that kind of betrayal. Not when he had lost so much as it was...
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:04 pm
Ylva opened her maw and then shut it. What use was it to say anything to comfort him right now. Truthfully, there wasn't. She couldn't undo what had been done and save his pack. Sure Ylva could do many things but magically time travel saving packs was not among her many talents.
"This is gonna be horrible to say.." The hyena made sure her eyes were trained good and hard on to Asa, " But.. in a way Im really glad that even after all your hard ships that I met you Asa... If none of that had happened I don't think our paths would have ever crossed. "
And with that she looked up awkwardly at something else that wasn't Asa. It was her way of trying to cheer him up ... The biggest flaw with that was Ylva had no idea HOW to cheer someone up. So her thinking was a little twisted.
Just a little...
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:43 pm
Asa smiled a little, laying his head down, "I wish that it could have been another way Ylva... that you had met me at a better time in my life. That you had met me in my youth... when I was kinder... when I wasn't so..." He looked down at his paws, "dirty."
He was dirty. He had destroyed his pack. He hadn't been able to protect his sister. He had let Kavu... he had let Kavu... Don't think about Kavu. Thinking about Kavu just led to bad places. Made him want to jump. Made him want to die.
What would she think of him if she knew what had happened to him? She already knew he was a weak coward... but that... why did it have to be that? Why that?
"I'm glad... to have met you Ylva. Thank you... for... for everything you've done." He whispered, looking up at her, "But we can't take back the past... or the mistakes we've made."
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:55 pm
Ylva frowned , "Damn it Asa," She muttered mostly to her self. It was loud enough for Asa to hear though. The female shook her head. He was right and she couldn't do anything to talk him out of the mess going on in his head. That was his battle not hers.
The female had done the best she could for him and now she was coming up with the same brick wall she'd run into from the beginning. That damn past of his. If only you could solve everything with a simple a** kicking... Kick Asa's a**? Nah, Ylve couldn't do that. The Hyena, even though a pain in her a** at times and she hated to admit it, had a special place in her heart.
"Your welcome," The hyena frowned deeper. There were things she wanted to say but she just couldn't . Right now he was just being such a hard head.
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