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Risika walked the paths, keeping an eye out for hunters and prey. But as she posed as a human, she hoped to keep that illusion going. As she passed a thicket of brush, a flash of light blinded her. Shielding her eyes, she walked slowly towards it, stretching out her aura to see if there was anyone who would pose a threat to her when her back was turned. Reaching the spot where the light semed to come from, she saw a sword glistening in the evening sun. "Perfect" she crooned, knowing that with this sword she could more surely defeat the witches that so determindely persued herself and others of her kind, claiming themselves to be vampire hunters. Picking up the sword, she tucked it in her belt, hoping to come across some sort of sheath closeby.

It jumps a lot, something I've never been good with following well. Perhaps you should add to it at the end to wrap it up and pull it together with a pretty little bow?
Other than that it definitely held my interest. I really like how you just took off with how open ended the prompt was.

Constructive critisim would be welcomed warmly


Glitch was angry at herself. Her friends would laugh at her if they found out she had gotten lost in the forest at the back of the school grounds. They had agreed to meet at the big tree beside the river. Bunking off school was always good for a thrill. She had been to the spot twice before so knew the way. Yet could she find the path now? No. And her friends were going to be waiting, passing around the half bottle of vodka that together they had saved for and convinced an older kid to buy for them.

"OOOhhhh" She screamed to the leafy canopy above "Its NOT FAIR!"

The birds in the trees momentarily stopped twittering at the sudden noise but resumed their chorus once her angry tirade had fallen silent, Glitch almost felt as if they were mocking her.
She flopped down on a tree stump, feeling defeated and miserable. She blew a strand of her bright red hair out of her green eyes, and thats when she saw it.
"huh? Wassat?"
She chewed on her fingernail as she spotted something wedged in the grass. Getting up she walked closer and as she drew nearer it became obvious it was a blade of some sort. Her voice was now one of hushed reverie
"Wow. Neat."
Her hand reached out and with a gentle tug she had the blade in her hand. The hilt was warm which, absently she pondered, was pretty strange. She hefted the weapon over her head, the blade catching the sunlight that streamed through the treetops causing an almost kaleidoscope effect on the tree trunks around her. She had never seen a proper sword up close in real life but even she had to admire its impressive workmanship.

"kill them"

Glitch spun round alarmed by the mans voice behind her, but no-one was there.

"Wha'? Who...who's there?"

Her heart hammered in her chest , and she realised with surprise that she was now holding the sword with both hands, as if she knew how to use the blade. The forest was silent, save for the ever mocking birds. She stood there for what seemed like a lifetime but nothing happened. Just as she was beginning to relax the voice appeared again.

"They left you behind. They're laughing at you. Kill them!"

She swivelled around again, and again no-one was there. She could feel hot tears welling up in her eyes.

"Whoever you are, come out"

Glitch tried to sound strong but her voice wavered on the edge of panic. She noticed the hilt of the sword becoming hotter. She looked down at the hilt and it was then that she realised that the actual blade was glowing a soft green.

"You want them dead dont you. I can help"

She stared at the blade, mesmerised, suddenly aware that it was the weapon talking to her. Unable to tear her eyes away, unable to answer she felt her consciousness slipping away.

"yesssss" the sword hissed "lets go find your little friends, we'll make them pay for leaving you behind, their blood shall be the sweetest I've tasted for nearly an aeon"

Glitch felt the tears flow then, down her 15 year old cheeks as she began walking from the clearing unable to control her own feet, heading in the direction she knew her friends would be.

I noticed a few small grammatical errors. Like a word not capitolized or missing apostrophe. Nothing much, but a proofread in MS word would help if you want to be more careful about those things.

Don't apologize about the length. Long or short, if it gets the story rolling you're doing good. I'm already intrigued.

The boy walked calmly as he inhaled the warm spring air. His master had sent him and many other disciples off into the forest, there was something he wanted them all to observe.

The boy was given a destination on where to start looking, and was told NOT to stray from or even look away from the path until he reached the destination. For hours the young apprentice walked down through the terrain, getting impatient by the hour. The day seemed to progress slower than usual when suddenly a reflection of light caught the student's eye. The boy stopped in his tracks. He was getting eager for something- anything to happen besides this wait.

His fists were clenched and he stood there angrily. He then started looking around, as if trying to be cautious. He then hastily turned and started moving. Hoping for something a bit more diverse than what he has seen so far. As he approached the illumination his interest slightly grew with each step.

He finally reached the source of the light and then stood in excitement it was an old sword. He now ran up to the weapon, picking it up, looking at it more closely. It was of a simple design. A long blade and basic hilt. Something about it looked rather familiar. He then realized that the sword resembled the weapon given to all his masters students including himself. But the sword in his hands was much longer than his and seemed the right size for his... the boy's eyes widened. As he turned the blade he saw that is was stained in blood. Dry blood.

As he looked up he then noticed that there was lifeless decaying body laying in front of him. He saw it's face and could tell that the cadaverous body was of a child no older than him. He recognized the clothing of the corpse. They were precisely like his. He now began to panic, he quickly dropped the blade and started making a run for it. He wasn't going to stand around to find how his fellow student was slain. As he hurried his way back to the path he noticed that there were more and more corpses. He ran faster as faster until he could run no more.

He put his hands on his knees in exhaustion. He then knelt down and tears started to form. When he opened his eyes he saw the familiar silhouette of his master. And the same reflection of light in his masters right hand. At that moment, as the looming shadow approached, the young apprentice stood still. His whole body numb as the man in front of came inevitably closer.

"You defiant, disobedient, insubordinate, and naive child." Said the man towering over him. The boy did nothing in resistance, for there was nothing to do. He just shut his eyes, not begging for mercy, not praying to the gods for salvation. But simply waiting for the final blow.

His master lifted his sword and-

@ Sir Awesomealot "Lord of teh internetz"
Thanks for the feedback. Improvement is the main reason I joined this guild anyway. But I believe the more uncomfortable part of writing this is

1.) Again, this character is so out of nowhere that he doesn't even have a name. Looking back at the "character" that was "portrayed" in my post he looks no more than a noun to fill a few gaps. I think I'll come back with this little selection when the characters a bit more developed. Cos right now I look back and see a mindless soulless robot. rofl But then again, this is just an exercise...