Death's Bad Day - an Interactive Story

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

RAS: Eeek! Don't kill me! crying I'm too beautiful to die!

THANATOS: *stops chasing Ras* There's no point in this...sigh. Where to next?

RAS: *sees girl walking down the street* Hey! A cutie! biggrin

THANATOS: What?

RAS: *walks up to girl* Heya, babe? Ever meet a satyr?

GIRL: Do I want to?

THANATOS: No.

RAS: What's your beautiful name, sweetie? 4laugh

GIRL: Keira. *looks at Thanatos* Are you a drag queen or something?

THANATOS: What?

KEIRA: Okay, were you tricked into wearing that?

THANATOS: Yes.

RAS: I'm right here! xp

KEIRA: *ignoring Ras* By who?

THANATOS: It's hard to explain.

RAS: HEY! scream

KEIRA: *whispers to Thanatos* How do you put up with that guy?

THANATOS: I don't know myself.

RAS: HELLO?! scream evil

KEIRA: *giggles* Are you new here?

THANATOS: Very.  

[Herry Rockabore]

THANATOS: I'm from, uh, down under...

KEIRA: Ooo Austrailia that sounds interesting.

RAS: Ahem, *steps in Keira's view* Back to me sweetie pie. I like long walks on the beach and junk food!

KEIRA: Is this guy a friend of yours?

THANATOS: Somewhat... Say Kerry..

KEIRA: It's Keira... stare

THANATOS: Whatever... I needed to ask you...

KEIRA: Get back Prom Queen I have mace! *she said reaching in her purse*

THANATOS: No please, no! I just wanted to ask if you had any extra clothing?

RAS: *drool* Yeah some of you clothes....

KEIRA: eek You're perverts! HELP COPS SOMEBODY THIS AUSTRAILIAN GUY IN A PROM DRESS AND HIS FRIEND WHO SMELLS LIKE GOATS ARE HARRASSING ME!!!

THANATOS: No *covers her mouth* I just want clothes cause I'm dressed in a foolish outfit. If you give me something to wear I'll give you this prom dress.

KEIRA: Hmm... Now that you mention it I did order a dress just like that...

THANATOS: *in thought* I bet Hermes was supposed to send this to her *out loud* Sure why not...

KEIRA: I have some of my dad's old stuff that I was bringing to the clothes for the needy thing, since you look pretty needy you can have some of his stuff if you want. mrgreen

THANATOS: Thank Zeus, male attire. *already begins to take off the dress*

KEIRA: *gives him the bag*

THANATOS: *opens the bag* It smells kind of odd...

KEIRA: *puts the dress to her body seeing if it's the right size* sweatdrop Well yeah my dad sweats a lot.

RAS: *hearts fort eyes* You'd look great in that dress Keira!

KEIRA: *pushes Ras* Yeah, I know.

RAS: *goofy grin* She likes me I can tell.

THANATOS: *digs through the bag* It's only fishing hats, novelty boxer shorts, and "I'm With Stupid" T-shirts. *He said holding up a big pair of wornout Valentines Day heart boxers*

RAS: xd Pfffftttt hahaha! They look a little big for you Thanatos.

KEIRA: *also laughs* Hahaha *in thought* That Eris chick was right this is pretty fun!

THANATOS: *puts the I'm with stupid shirt on and the ill-fitting heart boxers and is still wearing the sandals from earlier and the fishing hat* neutral I suppose it's better than the prom dress. The shirt is fitting towards my situation. stare

RAS: *is rolling on the floor laughing and bleating* Oh gods! Oh gods! I can't breath!!! Hahahaha!

THANATOS: Why you! *he goes to strangle Ras and when he lets go of the boxers they fall down to his ankles* Ah! redface *turns bright red as he just mooned all the people in the McDonalds who start laughing* crying Why me? *pulls the underwear up* redface

KEIRA: I dunno but I gotta say you two are a laugh riot.

RAS: *laugh-bleating uncontrolably* Oh gods, if Hermes was here to see this! xd

THANATOS: mad How dare you!!!

ERIS: *watching in disguise as a McDonalds customer and snaps a photo of his bum with her camera* Hahaha! I have got to get Eros to see this! *calls up Eros*  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

KEIRA: Soo...what's up with you and your bleating friend?

THANATOS: I'm looking for a tie, a cell phone, a tuxedo, sunglasses, umm..what else?

RAS: I know I'm looking for a nice fruit. wink

KEIRA: *punches Ras* Go on.

THANATOS: That's pretty much it.

RAS: Hey! mad I - *gets punched in the face by Keira*

KEIRA: *to Ras* I can call the authorities on you. My brother's a cop and I can tell him you were harrassing me. stare

RAS: gonk No! I'm too beautiful for the slammer!  

[Herry Rockabore]

THANATOS: *still red with embarrassment from earlier* Ras, if you get us thrown into jail, I will personally see to it that your death is as slow and painful as possible!!!

RAS: She started it!

THANATOS: *in thought* stare Mortals AND Satyrs drive me insane!

KEIRA: *sticks her tongue out* You guys are weird. *goes to Eris* Do I get my 50 dollars now?

ERIS: Sure *hands her a handful of drachmas*

KEIRA: Hey you crazy bimbo! I thought the deal was money, smackers, dough, bucks, duckets, cash, green! NOT some dinky little toy coins!

ERIS: sad How dare you! Go away before I turn you into a hamster! *her eyes get glowy*

KEIRA: Eep! *runs away from Eris*

ERIS: Well that was fun. I'm certainly going to check on Thanatos again later. smile

*back with Thanatos and Ras who are starting to walk*

RAS: Let's sing 99 Bottles! blaugh

THANATOS: Don't even think about it. *gets more and more embarrassed as people stop and stare at his ridiculous clothing*

RAS: *whiney voice* But Thannnaaaatoooooos, I'm booooored!

THANATOS: *thinks about how true he feels the statement on his shirt is* That's it Ras one more word and I'll---!!!

RAS: Hey would you look at that. *runs into the city park giddy about nature*

THANATOS: *holds on the boxers and runs after Ras* Ras we don't need any delay do you hear...?

RAS: Sssshhh! Look! *points to a couple making out*

THANATOS: *deadpan* How sweet I want to puke!

RAS: But Thanny they're in LOVE!!! *heart eyes*

THANATOS: Bleech

RAS: Hey look! *points*

THANATOS: Let me guess you spotted a cute chip--- *sees that Eros is about to shoot the lovers with an arrow* ...munk neutral

EROS: *shoots the couple with arrows and they start making out and getting frisky* Ah, young love... *notices Ras and Thanatos* He looks familiar.

THANATOS: Oh Styx! Why me? Why me?

EROS: What nice underwear you have, I see you're a believer in love. Interested in my 20 year commitment package. Find the sweetie of your dreams?

RAS: Who me? *bats eyes dazed by the offer* I am... but I'm not wearing any underwear. lol I'm a satyr!

EROS: How interesting... but I ment the one with my signature image on his boxer shorts.

RAS: Ooooh, *makes a matter of fact jesture* Well, that's because...

THANATOS: *very angry* scream Let me speak! First of all, I'm not a believer in love, got it cupid?! I'm just a crazy person who runs around in public in the large novelty underwear of some guy I don't even know! That's right blondey! So take those filthy arrows and go away!!

EROS: Oh... *blinks* Alright then...  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

RAS: That was -

THANATOS: No delay. Where to, "Ras"?

RAS: Umm...how about...my place?

THANATOS: *deadpan* What?

RAS: It's late. The mall's probably closed by now...

THANATOS: Urrgh...why me?

RAS: C'mon! It'll be fun! mrgreen

THANATOS: ...Fine... gonk WHY ME? WHY NOT HYPNOS?  

[Herry Rockabore]

RAS: Cool! Let's go! *Ras said with a big smile*

THANATOS: *sigh* Alright...

*At Ras's house*
RAS: Welcome to my humble abode, what do you think?

THANATOS: It's okay. *looks at Ras's small apartment with a lot of junk food bags*

RAS: 3nodding Make yourself at home! I'll get the guest bed ready.

Ras's computer makes a beeping noise.

THANATOS: Ras your computer... *he looks at the screen* eek

Hades is on a video message.

THANATOS: L-Lord Hades... What are you doing on Ras's computer?

HADES: I'm seeing what's taking you so long Thanatos!? I want my new spiffy clothes before Persephone goes to visit her mother.

THANATOS: I'm really sorry my lord but odd things just keep on happeni...

HADES: I've heard, I got the e-mail it's quite a popular topic!

THANATOS: *nervous* Uhm... what e-mail exactly? sweatdrop

HADES: *snickers* This one blaugh *brings e-mail of the picture of Thanatos mooning up on the video*

THANATOS: eek I...I...I... redface

HADES: Thanatos, I sent you to buy me a suit not show the mortals your birthday suit!

THANATOS: *sulking in embarrassment* I didn't do it on purpose I assure you.

HADES: Whatever, just hurry it up would you... Wait a sec your brother wants to talk to you.

HYPNOS: biggrin Hi bro!

THANATOS: *tries to smile a little* Hello Hypnos...

HYPNOS: How's it going?

THANATOS: *sulking* You saw the picture didn't you?

HYPNOS: *trying to cheer up Thanatos* There, there, it'll be okay. Soon I'm sure another god will do something even more embarrassing and your, um, mooning thing will be old news.

THANATOS: *looks at what he's wearing again* neutral I... guess.

RAS: Whatcha lookin' at? *looks at the computer*

HYPNOS: smile Hello Ras, thanks for helping out my brother!

RAS: Don't mention it. Me and Thanatos are best pals. *puts his arm around Thanatos's shoulder and grins*

THANATOS: *mouthing words* Help me!

HYPNOS: *chuckles* Well have fun guys and if you need any help Thanatos just ask.

HADES: *in background* And don't forget my new suit!

The video message ends.

RAS: Well I got the cot ready for you.

THANATOS: *Sighs* Alright *he goes to sleep*  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

THANATOS: Wait...I don't need sleep...

RAS: *snoring*

THANATOS: *in thought* This is my chance! *sneaks out of Ras' home*

RAS: *snoring*

THANATOS: *tiptoeing out*

RAS: *still snoring*

THANATOS: *triggers alarm system* Ah -

RAS: *wakes up* Huh? Wha?

THANATOS: *makes himself invisible*

RAS: Oh gods! Thanatos! Thanatos! *checks his bed* Nooooo!! crying Thanatos! He's been captured by Hades for not getting his suit in time! I'll find him! This I swear! *goes back to sleep*

THANATOS: If I learn about friendship from this experience, I'll be REALLY pissed. stare

RAS: *dreaming*

~RAS'S DREAM~

THANATOS: *tied to a burning stake* Help me, Ras! crying crying

RAS: *all muscular and fit and buff and heroic* Don't worry Thanny! I'll save you! biggrin

HADES: *undescribably evil looking* MWAHAHAHAHA! You'll never save Thanatos, Erasmios the Terrible! He has commited the crime of taking too long to buy my outfit, and he shall pay! twisted

RAS: Never! *goes through random heroic obstacles such as jumping through rings of fire, dodging sharks and the Furies, beating up monsters that appear from nowhere, etc.*

HADES: You may have gotten through my obstacle course, Erasmios, but I know your weakness! twisted *pulls out a box of nachos*

RAS: Noo! *falls to his knees* It can't be!

HADES: Yes! Your greatest weakness! NACHOS FROM TACO BELL! twisted twisted

RAS: *attempting to resist nachos* Must...resist...save...Thanny...

THANATOS: You can do it, Ras! I believe in you! biggrin

RAS: biggrin *resists nachos*

HADES: Noo! gonk How can this be?

RAS: The power of friendship never fails! You're done, Hades! *slashes him with sword*

HADES: Noooo... *disentigrates*

RAS: *frees Thanatos* There ya go buddy! Be more careful next time, 'kay? wink

THANATOS: Thank you, Ras! You're the best! biggrin

KEIRA: My hero! *kisses Ras* blaugh heart

RAS: It's great bein' a hero! biggrin  

[Herry Rockabore]

THANATOS: *looked into Ras's dream* What was that?! If that's what a dream is like my brother seriously needs to work more at his job because that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever saw...

RAS: *he turns on his bed* Now for the tacos! 4laugh *grabs his pillow and starts munching on it*

THANATOS: eek Make that second most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

RAS: *still dreaming* What's that Thanny you want to try junk food? What's that Keira you want satyr love? I'd be happy to ablige! mrgreen Hurrah!

THANATOS: That's it, I'm contacting Hypnos as soon as I'm out of here and making sure his ambrosia isn't funky... I better check on that for Lord Hades as well.  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

The next day...

RAS: Oh gods! Thanatos! Thanatos! *checks his bed* Nooooo!! crying Thanatos! He's been captured by Hades for not getting his suit in time! I'll find him! This I swear!

THANATOS: We all ready went through this... rolleyes

RAS: *grabs a bunch of stuff and heads outside* To save Thanatos! pirate

PEDESTRIANS: *stare at Ras like he's crazy, mothers cover their childrens' eyes, girls laugh at him* burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes

RAS: What? confused

THANATOS: Oh gods... burning_eyes

RAS: *realizes he forgot his cothes* Eeep! redface *rushes back to his house*

THANATOS: burning_eyes  

[Herry Rockabore]

THANATOS: *snickers slightly* Speaking of clothes... *notices he's still wearing the donated clothes*

*in Ras's room he's rummaging though his closet*

RAS: *still blushing* Jeez, y'think that they never saw a satyr before... *puts on clothes*

THANATOS: *in thought* Ras's clothes are as ill-fitting as these since he has goat legs maybe I should... *sees Ras's wallet* Now's my chance! Grab it!

*Thanatos reaches for it and Ras intercepts it before Thanatos can grab it*

RAS: sweatdrop Almost forgot my wallet!

THANATOS: *says an ancient Greek swear*

RAS: *looks around frantically* What was that?

*Thanatos tries to sneak out of the room but Ras closes the door*

RAS: Hades! I know it's you! Come out you coward! Fight like a man!!! I'll teach you to mess with, my newest sidekick, Thanatos!!!

THANATOS: Sideki-- *covers his mouth but it's too late cause Ras heard*  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

RAS: Come on out, Hades!

THANATOS: *gets an idea*

RAS: Hades... evil

THANATOS: *pretending to be Hades* Erasmios! How much is in your wallet?

RAS: Why do you want to know?

THANATOS: Because if you tell me, I'll make you a great deal.

RAS: Never! scream

THANATOS: It's Thanatos related.

RAS: $2000.

THANATOS: *thinking* $2000 in a wallet?! eek *saying* May I please have it so Thanatos may buy my suit?

RAS: Wait! This won't be like Hercules where -

THANATOS: The money, Erasmios!

RAS: Yes, your Lord of the Underworld-liness. sweatdrop

THANATOS: *gets wallet* Thank you. Thanatos will buy my suit and you will be repaid.

RAS: How? Will I get Thanatos back?

THANATOS: It's a surprise.  

[Herry Rockabore]

RAS: So where is Thanny?

THANATOS: Thanatos is um...

RAS: *gasps loudly* You stole him away didn't you?! Oh, I bet you're torturing him for your stupid suit! I'm not going to allow it! *runs to the door as fast as his goat legs can go and bolts the door*

THANATOS: stressed Why you little!

RAS: I want proof that Thanny is okay!

THANATOS: *tries to think of something* Well... *just gives up trying to come up with an excuse* No. Ha. I'm Lord of the Underworld don't have to! razz

RAS: scream YOU FIEND!!!! *grabs a lamp from his desk that's shaped like a hula dancer and throws it at where he hears the voice*

THANATOS: *the lamp hits him and he becomes visible for a second* *in thought* I hope Ras didn't notice that...

RAS: *gasps dramatically* Thanny! Your secret identity is Hades?! *ponders* or... You have split personality and you only think you're...

THANATOS: *in thought* I want to scream very loud *he speaks in a regular tone* Sigh, no Ras I'm just getting tired of your hijinks... so give me the money now!

RAS: Why didn't you just ask? *hands it over*

THANATOS: *surprised* Uhm, thank you Ras... *starts to walk away*

RAS: *gets a teary eyed* cry I just wish I could've helped but I guess all I do is make shenanagins...

THANATOS: Yeah...

RAS: If only I were helpful.... crying

THANATOS: Umhm... If only but you aren't so...

RAS: *starts sobbing* crying

THANATOS: Ugh... *in thought* stare Must. Not. Do. Something. Nice.

RAS: *through tears* I would've been s-s-so g-glad to give Th-th-Thanny the f-f-fastest directions to the clothes st-stores. *starts sobbing loudly*

THANATOS: stare *in thought* Damn, I still need directions *sigh* Okay, Ras, since I still need directions you can tag along, but don't fall under the impression that I like you or even care about your miserable life more than the next insufferable mortal or creature. I just need to get Hades's his suit. Is that CLEAR?

RAS: *suddenly looks happy and as if he never started crying* Oh boy! mrgreen You won't regret this Thanny. In fact I know just the place to get you something to wear. *grabs Thanatos by the arm and drags him outside*

THANATOS: neutral What have I unleashed...  

[Kenamarin_Shukai]

THANATOS: Where are we going?

RAS: Gucci's, Macy's, the expensive places that no one goes anymore because of the economy. mrgreen

THANATOS: What have I done...

RAS: BUT -

THANATOS: Oh no...what will it be? Best Buy or Wal-Mart? eek

RAS: - we're gonna go to the bank to get more cold, hard, cash!!
4laugh
THANATOS: Oh...okay... confused Why does he like me?

RAS: It'll be fun! mrgreen mrgreen

THANATOS: Good...then -

RAS: OOOHH!!! CARNIVAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!

THANATOS: *takes money from Ras* I need to go to "Gucci's" or "Macy's" to get Hades a suit. We are NOT going to -

RAS: *speeding to carnival with wallet* CARNIVAAAAAAL!!!

THANATOS: I'm going to seriously regret this...  

[Akherontis]

Hahahaha! Quite amusing thus far. The dream sequence particularly, calling out the silly modern perception of Hades as evil. But beware the taint of Flanderization. Ras is a bit quirky and awkward for a satyr, but as far as I remember, he still has an intact sense of self-preservation. And if I were writing Thanatos by this point, he'd have dismembered the satyr long ago, rather than put up with all the chummery. He tends to be meek and somewhat whingy around his siblings, but satyrs and mortals are more familiar with his complete and utter lack of pity/mercy/humor. Just be careful that you don't turn the characters into walking stereotypes.  

[Herry Rockabore]

THANATOS: *arches an eyebrow* The carnival?

RAS: Just for one minute, please!

THANATOS: N-! O-!

RAS: But it's my money!

THANATOS: So?

RAS: So it's only fair that I get to take just one minute to have fun.

THANATOS: No you've had enough fun.

RAS: *sees a ridiculously hot woman* Humina Humina.... *drools*

THANATOS: C'mon Ras... Ras?

RAS: *follows the lady*