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 Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:25 pm
Teh Dirty Hobo! A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..." I must be horrible with jokes... I don't get it...
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:26 pm
bloody_dragon_claws Okay, maybe someone can help me out with this one. My dad's been telling it for years and I have no idea what it means. Q:What do you call a Scottsma with a lamb under each arm? A: A Playboy. Me: ?????????????? Sorry I have no clue (You should tell him it's not even funny)
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:27 pm
shadowy visitor bloody_dragon_claws Okay, maybe someone can help me out with this one. My dad's been telling it for years and I have no idea what it means. Q:What do you call a Scottsma with a lamb under each arm? A: A Playboy. Me: ?????????????? Sorry I have no clue (You should tell him it's not even funny) I was contemplating that but then he'd probably try to explain it to me. I don't need that, thankyou!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:27 pm
bloody_dragon_claws Teh Dirty Hobo! A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..." I must be horrible with jokes... I don't get it... the baby is behind the parents still stuck in the hole
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:28 pm
shadowy visitor bloody_dragon_claws Teh Dirty Hobo! A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..." I must be horrible with jokes... I don't get it... the baby is behind the parents still stuck in the hole Oh! Lol That's funny!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 2:53 pm
can i tell the one with the bank? or are curses not allowed?
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:15 pm
a blondie joke!
three girls, a blondie, brunette, and a red-head, are being chased by the police in the farmers backyard. they see three sacks;one filled with dogs, one filled with cats, and one filled with potatoes. the red-head hides in the sack filled with dogs, the brunette hides in the sack filled with cats, and the blondie hides in the sack filled with potatoes. a police officer comes by and kicks the sack filled with cats and hears meow meow. "theres only cats in there,"he thinks. he goes over to the sack filled with dogs and kicks it. he hears woof woof and knows that theres only dogs in there. he walks to the next sack filled with potatoes. he kicks it and hears,"potatoes potatoes!"
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:38 pm
roronoazololuver can i tell the one with the bank? or are curses not allowed? Yoiu can tell that one!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 4:28 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 4:46 pm
bloody_dragon_claws Okay, maybe someone can help me out with this one. My dad's been telling it for years and I have no idea what it means. Q:What do you call a Scottsma with a lamb under each arm? A: A Playboy. Me: ?????????????? *ROFL* OMG THAT'S AWESOME. If of coruse there's a typo. xd Is it suppose to be Scottsman? If it is, it's a play on beastility.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:05 pm
***WARNING! HAS CURSES!***
A man goes into a bank. The bank teller asks,"Welcome sir. How may I help you?"
The guy replies,"I'd like to open a f***ing bank account."
The surprised teller says,"Sir there is no problem with that but please, there is no need to talk to me with that language."
"I'd like to open a f***ing bank account," he says again.
"Sir that is fine but there is no need to speak to me with that language."
"Where's your f***ing manager?"the man asks.
The manager comes over and asks,"Sir, what seems to be the problem?"
"I'd like to open a f***king bank account but this motherf***er over here won't f***ing let me!"
"Sir there is no problem with that but there is no need to speak to us with that language. How much would you like to deposit?"
The man casually replies,"A hundred billion dollars."
The manager turns to the teller and asks,"Why won't you let him open a f***ing bank account?"
Heard this one from MAD TV!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:28 pm
Two guys are working for the city. One digs holes, the other fills them up. A man watching them can't understand what they're doing. Finally, he says, "I see how hard you guys are working, but I'm confused: One of you digs a hole, but then your partner just fills it up again!" The hole digger says, "Yeah, the guy who plants the trees is sick today."
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:36 pm
A pediatrician is trying to put a 6-year-old patient, Timmy at ease. He asks, "If you found a few dollars on the street, what would you buy?" Without hesitation, Timmy says, "A box of Tampax." Suprised, the doctor asks why. "Well," Timmy says, "It says on TV that with Tampax, you can go swimming, horseback riding, and skating anytime you want to!"
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:22 am
A drunk staggers into a catholic church,
enters a confessional box,
sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention,
but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles....
'Ain't no use knockin', theres no paper on this side either.'
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:17 pm
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches
straight up to the
>counter and says "Hi, I hate drawing welfare, I'd
really rather have a
>job".
>The man behind the welfare desk says "Your timing is
excellent. We just
>got a job opening from a very wealthy old man, who
wants a
>chaffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive
>around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your
clothes. Because of
>the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her
>on her overseas holiday trips. The starting salary is
$200,000 a year".
>
>The guy says "You're bullshitting me!!"
>
>The welfare clerk says "Yeah, well, you started it".
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