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Rofl good one

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

Two women decided to go out one evening without their husbands and, more importantly, no Kids. Laughing the entire evening away and finding that they had consumed entirely too much wine, they decided it was time to head home.

They were about half way home when both ladies decided that they needed to find a bathroom quick. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. A little bit scared and tipsy, they decided they'd just have to stop there... they couldn't wait any longer.

Stumbling off the road into the cemetery they soon discovered they had no Kleenex. But being that the trip was becoming more urgent, they decided to 'just make do'! The first one decided to use her panties and then discard them. The second one had on new panties and, not wanting to leave them behind, grabbed a big ribbon from a floral wreath on the grave stone next to her.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one of them said to the other: "You know, we'll have to keep a closer watch on our wives... it seems that those two were up to no good last night. My wife came home in the wee hours without her panties...." The other one responded: "Well, you're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, "We will never forget you....
The Carboni Brothers."

Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad.

Liz, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"

Sally, "Cause I just can't get a man."

Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."

Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods 'cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."

Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."

Liz, "So, how's that gonna help you get a man."

Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."

a blonde a brunnette and a redhed all walk into an office. They all see something on the floor. The brunnette points out that it may be c**. The redhead gets down on the ground scratches it then sniffs it and says it smells like c**. The blonde goes down smells, sniffs, then licks it, and says yeah its c** but its not from anyone in this office.

Wanna know how to keep an idiot waiting?

I'll tell you later 3nodding

rofl just too funnyhaha tricked ya -Retunr to Senders