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Quicksilver the Archangel
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 Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:09 am
[Thursday October 20, 2005
1:05 p.m.]
Hi Journal! This week has been quite crazy, I can assure you. Not that the people haven't been nice - they have. There's even talk of a big, company baby shower for the still unborn darling.
While I think that would be nice, it's sort of embarassing all at the same time, you know? I don't want people to go through too much trouble because they think it's their duty or anything. Still, I'm glad all and all.
The morning sickness is beginning to fade... but the vanilla yogurt craving still remains.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 8:07 pm
[Sunday October 23, 2005
10:05 p.m.]
I woke up feeling very tired today, Journal. I can't help but think it's another symptom of my pregnancy, although it could have something to do with the fact that I was fasting most of the day yesterday and today due to the fact that I had to get some blood work done. Nothing serious - just standard tests to make sure I'm not becoming anemic or anything.
I really can't narrow down my list of possible names for the baby, which is good because I'll have lots of options later, but I can't help but feel worried that when the poor doctor asks me what his or her name is, I just won't know! That would be a funny sight, wouldn't it, Journal: the doctor holding my baby, getting more and more impatient as I run through my list of names? ... well, I think it's funny.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:09 pm
[Tuesday October 25, 2005
11:08 p.m.]
Still haven't gotten over my tired-ness, Journal, which means this will be a short, short entry. Just wanted to let you know how the baby shower went. It went pretty well - got lots of things, which people thankfully got in unisex colors, like purple and green. I'll make an inventory tomorrow.
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:28 pm
[October 31, 2005
7:24 p.m.]
Really can't stay too long, Journal, because it's Halloween! All the cute little children are going to be coming by soon and crowing "TRICK OR TREAT!" at the top of their lungs. It makes me very excited, because I know that by this time next year I won't be sitting at home passing out candy to excited children, but rather taking my little baby on his or her first excusion into trick or treating, in the very first costume that I get to choose for them.
Ack! There's the doorbell - gotta run for now, Journal!
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 8:11 pm
[November 6, 2005
10:04 p.m.]
Really, really tired today, Journal. I think I'm working myself too hard or not drinking enough water or something because I'm feeling sick. I can only hope that nothing adverse happens to the baby. Gonna go to bed early.
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:41 am
[November 11, 2005
12:51 p.m.]
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, Journal! Work began to creep on me something crazy. I'm happy to report, though, that I'm feeling much better. The little cold I picked up seems to have gone away, which is always a good thing.
As the days go by in my pregnancy, I admit to getting a little nervous. I want my baby to be healthy and happy, but am I the right person to be a mother? I've never been one before, and I worry about messing up. I don't want my child to suffer because of my inadequacies.
But, that's just silly talk, right Journal? I surely would never have been chosen to recieve the baby if the Farland Clinic didn't think I could handle the responsibility. I'll be happy, loving, nurturing mother, and that's all that can be expected of me. That makes me feel better.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:51 pm
[November 24, 2005
10:50 p.m.]
Journal, I'm so sorry. Thanksgiving holidays, between work for school and preparing the big meal and all, I've gotten totally behind. Things will probably continue to be bad with Finals and Christmas coming up, but I will do my best to record events her as they happen!
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 10:26 am
[December 6, 2005
12:22 p.m.]
I haven't been writing for awhile, Journal, but that's because this pregnancy has gotten so tiring! I mean, I'm not tired of BEING pregnant in the sense that I wouldn't want my baby, but just... I'm tired of being sick, you know?
The foods I can eat have become limited now. Grilled chicken breast is good, and apples. No really greasy foods, which is sort of hard to enforce given my personal tastes. I'm drinking lots of water and milk. Also taking some vitamens to make sure I don't get any sort of defiency that could hurt the baby.
It's been kinda hard, but I think that I can manage.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:09 am
[January 7, 2006
2:00 a.m.]
Lord, where has all the time gone? I missed writing about Christmas and New Year's, and why? Mostly becasue Ive been so tired... very tired. Also, I've been busy helping my family out in preparation for everything. I'll try to write more frequently.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:04 pm
[January 7, 2006
11:00 p.m.]
Today I went shopping for a new wardrobe, seeing as how I outgrew my old one and all. Lots of light, pastel colors to try and hide my ever growing bulge. Not that anything ever does.
I'm still excited about being a mother and all, but it's hard trying to remain optomisitic. Afterall, that's what I do best!
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 8:35 pm
[August 2, 2006
9:53 p.m.]
Today is one of the happiest days of my life. Finally, after so long, after so much waiting and hoping, finally my baby has been born!
I won't go into too much detail about the actual process (since it's not NEARLY as important as the little one) and just skip straight to the part where I ooze affection all over my baby.
I feel instantly in love when I caught sight of his deep indigo hair and large, curious eyes, not because they remind me of myself, but because they fit his cherub face so well. His blue butterfly wings fringed with black, so lovely and fragile, add an even greater sense of innocence and subtle shyness that seems to be part of his personality.
Although I knew there would be Arabian Horse DNA blended into his making, I never imagined how truly... magical seeing the affects on my baby would be. While he has a human face, torso, arms, and hands, he has two horse-like legs that end in hooves. The color and pattern of his coat is beautiful: gray blanket appaloosa.
I've already given him two gifts, one of which he seems to like more then the other. The one he adores is a panda bear plushie; he will not go anywhere without it clutched tightly in his arms. The other is a special hair piece, something that I found when I was doing baby shopping. I hope can one day bee a family heirloom. It is a brown barrett in a v-like shape with two white feathers connected by two turqoise adornments. As he sleeps in his crib, and I gently stroke his hair, I can't help but smile at it. A family heirloom. From mother to child. From me to my child.
I flipped back through you, Journal, to an earlier entry where I made a list of names: as I looked through them, only one of them seemed appropriate for my lovely son. Kanoa. "Free One". He WILL be free, free to live his life as he wants, free to develop however he naturally will. I will always love him; I will take care of him. He is my son, my only son.
Kanoa. One little name, but suddenly... life seems different. All of the silly depressions, all of my anxities seem so petty now when I have such a beautiful child. I am sure that everything will be alright now. Every day is going to be a new adventure!
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:44 pm
[August 10, 2006
5:30 p.m.]
Kanoa's asleep right now taking a nap with his panda plushie, so I thought I'd take the time to write about how marvelous these first few days of mothering have been.
Oh, don't misunderstand me, Journal - it's a huge responsability and OODLES of work. All of the feeding, bathing, diaper changing... and yet, I've never been happier. (Which I know is terribly cliche, but is nevertheless true.)
On the whole, Kanoa is a sweet-tempered baby. He doesn't cry very much and will entertain himself quietly with his favorite toy, even if I'm fussing about him. The only time he seems a little uncomfortable is when I try to give him a bath, but I think this is mostly because he can't bring his panda friend with him. I've also been trying to deal with how to bath a half-human and half-horse baby. Solution? Sponge bath his human top and shampoo his hair, and then use more... traditionally horse methods for his bottom. I don't really mind having to keep the brushes and all handy, but I'm TERRIFIED of when he grows older because then I'll have to clean out his hooves. The thought of lifting a pick to my baby's foot is not a comforting one, especially since if I mess up he could end up lame.
That's another thing about being a mother. It's scary at times because you don't want anything to happen to your child. I don't think I'll freak out badly or anything, but it's just something to get used to. Kanoa counts on me for... everything. Food. Care. Education. Everything. It's a huge burden to bear, especially when you're raising a child alone, but I think it'll be worth it. I love Kanoa, and I would do anything for him.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:21 am
[August 16, 2006
3:00 a.m.]
I should really be in bed asleep, but I'm unable to do so. Kanoa is still pretty demanding in his schedule, and I've only just gotten him back to sleep after his feeding.
I don't really mind, seeing as it's not that hard to get used to. I'm learning more and more about him each day. For starters, I half-expect he's going to be walking much sooner then a normal human baby; his foal-ish part is already beginning to take over and have him attempt to stand.
I'm beginning to wonder what types of foods I should prepare to stock up on around the house, since I don't know how to balance his diet. Probably a lot of whole grains will be necessary, and fruits and vegetables. Even though he has human teeth and belly, will he want to eat meat at all? Or will he end up being a vegetarian? It's so hard to know...
Ah well. I should really be off for bed now to catch what sleep I can before I have to get up again.
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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:47 pm
[August 18, 2006
10:21 p.m.]
I'm enjoying a slice of pizza now that I've gotten Kanoa to sleep; I'm still sort of eating on the run, as it were, but I don't seem all that much worse for the wear. Of course, I don't know how long this is going to last. I hate to think that I'll eventually get tired of taking care of my little boy, even though I've read in mothering magazines about that happening. How could that ever happen to Kanoa and I? He's so adoreable! His big, blue eyes follow my every movement, and he never fusses unless I'm doing something wrong. (Such as when I'm brushing his tail too hard - and even then he only cries a bit.)
I would write more, Journal, but I'm currently washing some clothes and dishes. Just trying to keep myself busy and up-to-date with the chores. Having a baby sure is a lot of work!
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:47 pm
[September 1, 2006
10:34 p.m.]
I'm trying to improve my mind and read The Metamorphisis by Frank Kafka, but that's proving to be a difficult task. I'm being distracted by Kanoa, who's trying to place the comb from his hair onto his panda plushie with completely adoreable inapititude. He just doesn't understand that, without hair, it just doesn't work.
He loves it when I brush his hair and tail in the morning and place the beloved object in, which may be why he's trying to entrust it into his favorite toy. It's just so cute!
Anyway... back to the Kafka, I suppose.
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