It was turning out to be a hot one today. Phineas had been working on a custom table for a newlywed couple with a comission from the father of the bride, but around two in the afternoon he was feeling thirsty and decided to head inside for a bit of a break. Like a genius he had leaned a bunch of wood against his back door so, feeling lazy, he elected to move around to the front of the house. Besides, the mail normally came around lunchtime and he was due to collect it.

Phin paused at the simple black mailbox, opened the door, and withdrew its contents. With a clank, he closed the door and strolled up to his front door. The red head slipped inside and absently thumbed through his mail as he wandered into the kitchen. Alima was curled up in a fawn and milk chocolate colored ball of fur on top of the refridgerator. She lifted her head when he entered and peered down at him with icey blue eyes.

"Credit card offer. Bill. Another card offer. Beekeeper's Association newsletter. Junk. Bill. Catalog. Mhmm. Et cetera, et cetera. Eh, I'll give it a good once over after I grab a drink." With that he tossed the pile of mail onto the counter and went to investigate the contents of his fridge.

The siamese/ tabby mix rose with a bit of a stretch, arching her slender body as she fully began to wake up. She looked down as he stood his head into the refridgerator. Alima hopped down using his back as a springboard onto the table behind him. The male jumped in surprise banging the top of his head on the freezer door.

"Oof!" He pulled his head out of the appliance, rubbing his head with a free hand. "Do I look like your personal trampoline?" Phin shook his head with a laugh and pulled out a quart of apple cider. He padded over to the cabinet and selected a mug with a chipped handle, his favorite. Alima had hopped over to the counter and was nosing through his mail. The feline had taken a keen interest in one letter in particular.

Phin noticed this after he put the cider back from where he got it. "Whaddya got there, little girl?" He took a sip and went to see what she was up to. He took to petting and scratching her with one hand while he slipped the envelope out from under one of her paws with another. Phineas took a sip and read over the address. "Cupid's Chokehole, huh? Hm." He opened up the envelope and read the letter inside...

Letter from Cupid's Chokehold
Congratulations Phineas,

Our state of the art equipment informs us that your love life sucks. But don't despair! We at Cupid's Chokehold are here to improve your miserable chances at finding a partner. Using our revolutionary profiling system, we can find find the match that's right for you, and send you down the path toward true happiness. Simply fill out the attached form and send it back to us in the pre-addressed envelope enclosed. After you complete this laughably simple process, we will contact you with the details of your first date.

Signed,
Joesph Thomas Alexander XV 1/2


His brows knit low on his forehead. "My love life doesn't suck," he whined softly out loud. The male moved away from the counter reading the letter and form over again and thought over his life in the past year plus. He had been running a little slim on the romantic interaction front. He huffed a sigh and rifled though one of the drawers of the counter, searching for a pen to fill out the attached form. Phineas parked himself at his table and proceded to fill out the form, alternating between grumbling about how the letter so blatantly pointed out his lackluster love life and sips of cool apple cider.