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I'm sorry yeahitsawesome, about changing your title. I just wanted to let readers know that this is more like an article rather than a question seeking advice. That way, more people will read it. I also changed it to a sticky because I find this article very important.

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LOVE ADVICE THREAD EXISTS!!!

UPDATE

I have to disagree solely on the grounds that I fully believe there is no universe 'rule' on what love is or isn't and that it is and always will be solely up to each person to define it in their own way. smile


Sorry, but anyone can and should do these for anyone and everyone, from the love of your live to strangers. I don't need to be in love with someone to be 'other-centered' and what them to come first or to fully listen to them. Let's not confuse love with kindness, openness, and helpfulness, similar in many regards yes but love is more specific in the details. (If you want to go off on 'kindness is love' well that just gets back into what I said before about how what love is is up to each person individually. smile )


Umm what? Since when is being in love "confidential"? When you love something you show it, whether you want to or not, in your actions, mood, expressions, speech, interactions, etc etc etc It's not confidential razz ...although I could be misunderstanding.


No sorry, it doesn't. I am going to kill the romanticism here. I have a degree in psychology and have seen countless studies and such that show that love, like everything else, rises and falls. Yes 'real' love. It can outlast a hell of a lot of stuff, perhaps even go on forever in some cases, but it can still suffer the same decay as everything else. If someone tries to tell me that when I was in love with my last boyfriend that I 'wasn't really' in love because we broke up I would slap them razz Of course, because I believe that what love is is up to each person, I can't make anyone agree. But if you are a person who thinks 'omg our love will totally last forever!' than from a psychological stand point I think your nuts and from a personal stand point I think your in love with romanticism and have a very deluded idea on love xd


This depends on what your views of love are as well as your views on what is disgraceful, dishonorable, etc. People from different cultures can and do look at others and go 'what the ******** is that about? their crazy!" hehe In some cultures it is perfectly acceptable for the woman to stay home and raise the kids, we can't look bad on them just because someone says "well if you really loved them you would let them work!" We can't judge others based on our own views.


Real love does not forget, it is just deep enough to forgive and continue. That's like saying a battered wife who truly loves her husband should just forget that he beats her (and yes dears she can be honestly and truly in love with him razz ). And love might not hold grudges but people do and despite our wanting to romanticize every little thing, there are other things going on. Its not just love, the whole of human emotion and existence is going on every second at the exact same time and they do interact. A man (or woman razz since this seems to be written by a woman) can get angry at his girlfriend if she is late for a number of reasons, none of which have anything to do with or affect his love for her in any way.

People will argue, they will fight, they will get on each others nerves. That is an unavoidable part of life even for and especially between lovers because no one has exactly the same views and so disagreements will happen. Yes the one you love can and should be more willing to compromise and change and all that but that doesn't change the fact that it happens. It also doesn't change the fact that they love you. Why 'especially between lovers', its more 'especially between anyone your really close with' actually, because you are closer to them. The closer you are to someone the more likely you are to share deeper, personal views on things (like beliefs on hot topics: politics, religion, how to discipline a child, etc). That sharing will lead to deep, personal discussion and like I said, no one believes the exact same things as anyone else, we might agree on a lot, but not everything.

My point is, people who are in real, honest, true love will fight and will argue and will hold grudges. But none of that gets in the way of how they feel about it other (unless of course their love is in a declining stage). Like the post said, love is about excepting the imperfection in someone else and still loving them when its all over. I completely disagree with my fiance on some things and we fight about them a lot (like money, he wants bigger and better and I want just what we need) but that won't stop me from marring him biggrin

Anyways, that's just one opinion from my psychologist, human observer/lover brain. Make up your own mind and love who and how you want 3nodding

[emboldenning added, and some text extracted, note the ......]

Ok I agree mostly with what you are saying, love cannot be defined or shaped, its either there or its not. And yes I do believe that love can be learned.
The part that I emboldenned seemed unnecessary, a tool to get your message across...I don't see what it has to do with your overall message, it seems like a throwaway comment used to gain come credit...

Love is unconditional. I have been hurt in the past by someone I loved, yet I still love him. And I always will. REAL love does not go away, feelings do not diminish, only the reasoning behind it.

On a side note, where did you gain your psych degree?

@ Lady Sedia: Hmm... I never thought about it that way. Thanks. I love this guild. It makes me smarter because I see different sides to a topic. 3nodding

@ Everyone: Lol. Love is complicated. I think real love is when a husband and wife seem to be neutral on the exterior, but they're really not. I think it's called 'compassionate love'?