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 Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:47 pm
GCDSG VI: Day 15
Vote here only, as usual.
Triumphantly, the Gaians shoved buzzkid24 into jail. “We’ve finally caught you, sniper!” they jeered.
He grinned. “Oh, that’s just what I wanted you to think.”
They blinked at him, but moved on, happy and skipping because, oh yes, they had finally caught the sniper. Buzz stared after them as they left.
He sighed and shook his head, "What we have here is a failure to communicate,” then, he turned and faced the other jailbirds, who were all huddled together muttering under their breath. “Hey, guys, I got everyone to believe I was the sniper and-”
“Buzz off!” Kitty snapped.
“No, my name is buzzkid-”
Apparently, from the Chyaku-style roundhouse kick Padme dealt Buzz, while Chyaku no longer existed, his kicks were still just as deadly.
---Later That Night---
The Gaians decided to hold a party to celebrate, for, after all, they had caught the sniper…right?
Though, this was a little difficult. Of all the non-flammable materials remaining, the only things they could find consisted of perhaps used toothpicks and one rectangular table. The table was only big enough for one or two people, and apparently it had decided to do its biped impersonation, for two of its legs were nowhere to be found.
In the meantime, they searched for details, such as food. While they could have argued over who would be the temporary replacement for the table’s legs, it was decided that food was more important. After all, any arguing might have been drowned out over the rumbling of their stomachs, and bickering when you can’t even hear yourself loses its charm very quickly.
Someone decided to make the modest proposal that people could be voted off and eaten, but he was quickly shushed.
“But I thought the point was to outwit, outplay, and outlast!” he protested. “We could call it something like…like…Survival!”
Uta Arashi shook her head. “They all ready did that on prime time television.”
“They what?”
“Yeah, haven’t you seen all the commercials?”
“Commercials?”
“Yes. All the commercials are fighting to outlast each other. That’s why they run out of script, become absolutely stupid, and take up half the show you’re trying to watch.”
“Oh.”
Wrendraith suddenly shouted, “Hey! Look over there! Food!”
She pointed at a large pile of cans. Each had across the front in bold letters “SPAM”
“I thought you said it was food,” Uta raised an eyebrow.
Wrennie ignored her. Instead, she ran towards the pile at top speed, apparently forgetting that can openers were useful objects. However, she never made it to the pile to see if she could somehow extract the questionably edible material from the cans.
With one fateful step close to the cans, her foot went right through the fake grass-cover of a hidden pit. Her scream was cut off quickly by the jagged spikes at the bottom.
The Gaians stood at the side of the pit, staring down in silence.
Uta put her hands on her hips. “Forget ‘Survival’! Ours is the most dangerous game-”
BLAM
Uta tumbled into the pit, a bullet in her head.
The sniper was still abroad.
Sakoiyi was the one unfortunate enough to figure out how to open the cans of spam. Apparently, they were two years past their expiration dates, and she quickly died of whatever horrible disease lay within.
Buzzkid24 has been jailed, Wrendraith has been killed, and Uta Arashi has been shot.
Sakoiyi has been removed for inactivity.
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:49 pm
GCDSG VI: Day 16
Vote here only, as usual. ^^
“I was trying to bloody help you people, and this is what you do to me?” `Nymphie shouted as the Gaians shoved her into jail. “This is unfair! Arthur Miller would be ashamed of you all!”
Kitty snorted. “What, did you cause the death of a salesman, too?”
“I didn’t kill anyone! What is this, a crucible?”
“Well, it should be. You’re an enemy of the people!”
“I’m not the sniper! In fact, this all is ridiculous. How do they get us all thrown in here? They don’t let us out, ever, and yet they have no evidence. They even have to know we’re innocent when the deaths keep coming!”
“What are you now, George Orwell?”
“Well, it sure seems like an animal farm around here.”
“Psh. Well, you know what they say about life being a box of chocolates?”
“Yeah. People give the chocolates to you, but they ate half of them and filled the rest with arsenic.”
Kitty paused. Then, she decided to condone violence, at least for a short time, and began to apply Chyaku-style roundhouse kicks to settle the situation.
---Later That Night---
The everlasting, delightful saga of “Well, it’s not MY fault all the food stores were destroyed, I’m having enough trouble myself! So find your own bloody food!” continued among the Gaians. They began to search for food in unlikely places. Every once and a while, they found something that was edible and yet not destroyed with the rest of the city.
Unfortunately, the only thing they could seem to locate was yet more spam. While that is not technically food, it is still edible.
We think.
So, naturally, in an effort to at least consume the material, the Gaians tried to mask the nearly non-existent taste as well as they could. However, when the only edible thing they could find was spam, this proved to be difficult.
Roger Silverwood grumbled. “You know, frying the spam does not make it smell any better.”
Egotistical Moose threw the frying pan at him. “Well, I don’t see you cooking. If it’s so bad, do it yourself.”
“But…this stuff isn’t food!”
“It’s edible. Hopefully.”
“Eating spam is cruel and unusual punishment!”
“Oh. So you have something better, right?”
Roger hesitated. “Well…I have a jar of dirt!”
Moose stared at him for a long moment before turning away without a response.
“What? I do!” he grabbed a jar from beside him. Sure enough, it was full of a brown grainy substance that appeared to be dirt. “See? I’ll show you.” He grasped the lid and twisted the jar open-
BLAM
Apparently, opening the jar triggered whatever gun-related trap lay inside, seeing the hole now in Roger’s chest.
Moose calmed down quickly. “Oh, now this is getting ridiculous! The sniper has a long way to go before his or her ideas to kill people are unique! And this narrator has a long way to go before she’s funny-”
Also apparently, dirt and a gun trap were not the only things that resided in the jar. Moose was quickly covered in large, bright red, and incidentally poisonous ants. Either they were merely aggressive, or they misused homonyms, thought Moose meant “Mousse,” and were very, very hungry at that moment.
`Nymphie has been voted off, Egotistical Moose has been killed, and Roger Silverwood has been shot.
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:50 pm
GCDSG VI: Day 17
Unlike most of the jailbirds, upon being shoved into jail, Kimilia did not make a big scene. Instead, she looked into the eyes of the Gaians as they trailed out and said with gravity, “I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me.”
The dramatic pose was not mandatory, but she did it anyways.
Kitty snorted. “Okay, Shakespeare over there, snap out of it and come over here! We have a plan, and we need one more person.”
“Plan?”
“We’re going try to take over the world!”
Anael nodded and muttered, “Narf!”
Padme smacked her.
Kim blinked. “Well, that’s fine, but there’s not much left to take over.”
“Of course there is!” Kitty scoffed.
“Well, the city is destroyed, and the Gaians are almost all dead. What else is left?”
Kitty sat there for a long moment, then growled, “What’s the point of being an evil megalomaniac if there’s no world left to take over? This isn’t fair! Destroying the world was my job!” she sighed. “The horror...the horror….”
---Later That Night---
The Gaians collected in a small huddle and blinked. A stranger was in their midst, wearing a uniform that looked like it had been collecting dust with the mothballs for a year or ten.
“Who are you supposed to be?” `Gamemaniac demanded.
She answered brightly, “I’m a representative of the Gaian Emergency Management Agency. Please calm down, I’m here to help.”
“GEMA? I thought you all were myths. Either that, or you’re just painfully slow and ineffective. What are you here for, anyways?”
“I’m here to assess the damage on the city.”
“Asses? Isn’t it obvious? The city is destroyed! There’s nothing left!”
“These processes take time. Please be patient.”
The expression on Game’s face turned to murderous frustration, and it might have translated to action except for the fact that Korikun the cat suddenly stepped in.
“They might give us something to eat other than spam,” he pointed out.
The GEMA agent laughed. “But it’s all lovely spam! Wonderful spam! We wouldn’t think of giving you all anything else to eat! It’s an offer you can’t refuse!”
Kori blinked. He turned to Game. “Can I kill her now?”
Game smirked. “Here, I’ll help.”
“No. You won’t. Dodge this,” the agent suddenly drew a gun and fired.
Game crumpled in a heap, a bullet in her head.
The “agent” turned and fled before Kori had a chance to react. He then decided the best course of action was to turn around, calmly, slowly, and with dignity, then to run like hell screaming bloody murder. This he did very well, for a time.
He failed to take into account that wherever a government “agent” is, their lawyer will be close behind. He died miserably on the hands of restraining orders, court summons, and exorbitant hourly bills.
In the meantime, the spam claimed another victim, as Nantooski was now dead as well.
Kimilia has been voted off, Korikun the cat has been killed, and `Gamemaniac has been shot.
Nantooski has been removed for inactivity.
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:55 pm
GCDSG VI: Day 18
The three remaining Gaians sat and stared at each other across the bipedal table. Somehow, one of them had located a tea set, and so each of them had a cup filled with water. IflanaNifi looked increasingly nervous as she looked from one to the other.
“Now, two of us here are killers. And I know I’m innocent. So, you both killed everyone!”
Merumiharu grinned. “On the contrary, my dear Nifi, how do you know you’re not the killer? How do you know that your grunny there isn’t controlling your mind and making you kill?”
The grunny looked as indignant as a large green rabbit attached to the back of someone’s head can look.
“My grunny would never do that!” Nifi shouted.
“Well, then,” inasanemonkey1230 pointed at Meru. “Or maybe you’re the killer!”
Meru smiled sweetly at Monkey. “What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?”
“Well, I never said I wasn’t one,” Monkey seemed to purr.
Nifi crossed her arms. “Then you admit it!”
“We deny nothing,” Meru grinned.
“But there is one thing you should know before you die,” Monkey nodded.
“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.”
Apparently, whatever was in Nifi’s cup was not water, but poison. Of all the deaths, perhaps hers was the fastest, as the poison was quickly joined by a bullet in her head. Well, more accurately, both heads. But it didn’t matter anymore. There were no Gaians left to decide.
The killers had won.
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