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 Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:24 pm
Suspicions and Discoveries
Nausea woke Keeta mid morning, after another long night at work and then the bars. She turned to see the guy who had been flirting with her the night before, passed out on the other side of the bed. Groaning softly, she forced herself out of bed and padded to the bathroom. She ended up running the last few steps, barely making it to the toilet when her stomach suddenly lurched.
After her stomach was emptied, she felt a bit better and headed back to the bedroom, wanting to sleep longer if there was time. The guy was in the same position she had left him, except now he was snoring. Frowning, Keeta looked at the clock. She still had two and a half hours before she had to get up, but snoring wouldn't make it easy. Slipping back into the bed, Keeta settled herself against the pillows, willing to wait a few minutes to see if he would stop snoring before she would start poking him.
While she waited, she considered some things that had been bothering her. The nausea had brought it back to the forefront of her mind again. That had been at least the third time that week she had needed to rush to the bathroom. She had thought she might have had the flu at first, but she didn't have any of the other symptoms...There was another thing that had been nagging her as well. Keeta was a woman who cycle was pretty regular, however, it hadn't come at all last month. Usually she hated it when she was cycling, as it was a nuisance, but it would have been reassuring at the moment. It would prove the conclusion that she was slowly coming to, wrong.
Could it be? Could she possibly be....pregnant? It wasn't an idea she was really ready to entertain, but she was beginning to be forced to. Maybe I should talk to my friends about it. They know more about this modern world than I do and could help me out. Keeta was meeting some of them for dinner before work, and resolved to bring up the topic then. Noticing now that her bedmate had stopped snoring, she resettled and pulled the covers over herself and tried to go back to sleep.
* * * * *
"I think I might be pregnant."
Keeta felt the eyes of the various women at the table turn to her and all conversation stopped. She hadn't said it very loud, and almost everyone else had been talking, but somehow, comments like that seem to carry further than others. There were a couple raised eyebrows and nobody at the table spoke for what seemed like an eternity.
"What are you going to do about it?" The voice came from Sandy, the woman sitting two to Keeta's right. She took another drag from her cigarette while she waited for a response.
"What do you mean, what am I going to do about it?" Keeta asked. This received a blank stare from almost everyone at the table. Clearly there had been a response that the majority of them had been expecting, and that wasn't it.
"Well you can't keep it," continued Sandy. "That would just entirely destroy your social life. Plus, imagine what that would do to your tips dancing. Better to just take care of it and pretend like the whole thing never happened." She glanced down, tapping the end of her cigarette into the ash tray and there were murmurs of agreement from several people at the table.
Keeta's brow furrowed in confusion. She didn't understand what Sandy was implying. While abortion existed in Evin, it did so only in black market circles, with a very high mortality rate. She could never have imagined how easily available, accepted and safer it was here in this "modern" world.
"Take care of it? Pretend it never happened?" Keeta asked, clearly confused.
Another blank stare. Clearly she was missing something. She had done a decent job of learning to blend in the last few months, but sometimes there was just no hiding that she was foreign to this place.
"You know...." another girl named Claire said, gesturing, hoping Keeta would catch on, with no such luck. She leaned in and lowered her voice for the last part. "....terminate it? Have an abortion?"
"You mean kill it?!" Keeta's voice was almost shrill. She could not believe that her so-called new "friends" were suggesting she kill the baby in such straightforward tones. It was as though this was an everyday occurrence to them. Old news. But for Keeta it was almost taboo. It just wasn't done where she came from. Especially if you were an elf. Well...half-elf at least. It was in their nature to preserve life, not end it.
"No. I can't. I couldn't," she sputtered, looking for support from any of the faces around her and finding none. Claire was even digging through her purse at this time, obviously looking for something specific, and not concerned with the horrified expression that currently occupied Keeta's face. Finding what she was looking for, she finally turned around.
"Well killing it, is not the way I like to put it, but yes. It's not like it's a person yet though. Heck it won't even feel it." Claire shrugged, handing Keeta the thing from her purse. It was a business card.
"I had one a while back and was planning on going to this place, but a friend brought me somewhere else first. You don't have to go to the place on there, but it's an option. It's the best way to deal with your "problem." Then you won't have to deal with it anymore, and pretty soon you'll forget about it and can get back to your life."
Keeta turned over the card in her hands. It had the name, address and phone number of a pregnancy clinic called the GMFC.
* * * * *
Not willing to go through the embarrassment of calling the people at the GMFC if she wasn't as sure as she could be about her pregnancy, Keeta had stopped off at a drugstore on the way home. Glad she didn't have to worry about going to work that evening, she had marched straight upstairs to the bathroom, pregnancy test in hand as soon as she walked in the door.
It had taken her several minutes to figure out how it worked, as they never had things like pregnancy tests back in Evin. The thought of peeing on a stick to see if you were pregnant seemed very strange to her, but then again, no one in Evin had been truly been able to tell until they were showing. As such, while this technology was confusing, she wouldn't deny it's helpfulness at the moment. Now, she paced back and forth in the bedroom waiting for the results that would supposedly appear when the timer she had set went off.
Suddenly there was an incessant beeping from the night table and Keeta pushed the button to turn off the timer. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the test that sat next to the timer and looked at the indicator. A plus sign. She looked from the indicator to the directions that told her what it meant and sucked in a deep breath.
She was pregnant.
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:57 pm
Dear Diary,
It's been a while since I took the time to talk to you. I think the last time, I was still in Evin. Well a lot has changed since then. Tess had to leave Mystics, and we moved to a country called Gaia, across the ocean. Tess has started her own place here and has really gotten herself involved. She doesn't have as much time for me now as she used to though. The new bar, "The Casbah Club," has been keeping her really busy. She's content though, so I'm happy for her.
In the mean time, however, I have been finding myself exploring this new world. It is so different from Evin! There I'm used to thick forests, dusty dirt roads, horses, slow paced and simple lives, sleeping under the stars, etc. Gaia is anything but that for the most part. Everything here is so noisy, loud, fast moving and crazy. Instead of torches and candles lighting the walls for the most part, there is electricity everywhere; almost overwhelmingly so. It's so bright most of the time that it makes it hard to see the stars at night. I miss those clear skies....
Anyways, in exploring this world I seem to have lost myself somewhere along the way, in the midst of all the chaos. I was drowning in the strangeness of this place for a while, finding nothing familiar to cling to, with Tess as busy as she was/ is. Consequently I found myself trying to stay afloat by going with the current and not fighting it. Well....it's taken me much further downstream than I ever thought it would....and I'm heading towards a waterfall.
This new place has driven me crazy in a way, and I have done and am doing some stupid and shameful things, and it seems to be getting worse the longer I'm here. And now it's finally gotten to the point where I am dragging other lives with me. The only question that remains at this point though, is do I try again to swim to shore, for the life I could save by doing so.
I seem to find myself pregnant. And while most new mothers are thrilled, I'm scared...uncertain. And even though I have met a lot of new people here, have people to hang out with every night, and never seem to find myself in want of male company, I have never felt more alone than I do now.
To make things worse, I don't have the slightest clue who the father might be. What will people say? Well...I already know what my new friends say. They're the only ones I've told so far. They think I should just get rid of it. They see it as a parasite. An inconvience. No, I'm not happy about being pregnant right now, but that doesn't mean I disrespect the life that I helped create, be it through my stupidity or not.
One of my new friends directed me to a maternity and fertility clinic, so that I can have my "problem" taken care of. For some reason I don't think this place can help me in that regard, but I did set up an appointmet for a few days from now, so they can confirm that I'm pregnant and maybe have the doctor look at the baby if they can. No sense in turning one mistake into an even worse one by not taking responsibility for it. I'm interested to see what they'll do? I imagine medicine over here in Gaia is dramatically different than over in Evin. Almost everything else is extremely different....
Oh boy....How am I going to tell Tess? I'm hoping you'll help me out with ideas here diary.
Anyways...I need to go think...and maybe cry a little. I just can't believe I'm pregnant!
~ Keeta
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:59 pm
First Visit to the ClinicPart 1: WaitingFrom Keeta's entrance Keeta stepped into the building, a shell-shocked expression on her face. In her hand was a business card that one of her new "friends" had given her. They had directed her here voicing the suggestion that perhaps the clinic could help Keeta with her new "problem," as the girl had called it. To so called "friends" like these, unintended pregnancies were inconveniences that should be dealt with ASAP, in a manner that Keeta wasn't willing to think about. Fortunately for Keeta, the girl who had given her the card wasn't informed enough to know that the GMFC was only interested in the creation of life.
Hesitantly, Keeta walked all the way into the room and signed in at the counter, before taking a seat a little ways away from the people already seated. She grabbed a magazine from the nearby table and flipped through the pages, but wasn't really reading any of them. Every once in a while, she would glance up at the others, vaguely wondering if any of them were as uncertain as she was about what was going on in her life.Rain smiled. "That is a wonderful story..... You two must be in love...." she said as she did the happy sigh. "I mean.. To change your appearance (into a human) that has to take love." she said smiling. Rain looked across the room and notice another women walk in. She waved and meant it as a invite like she did with Ceres. Rain smiled happily to herself. She had never met so many people in one day."Love... It isn't something I really understand. Well, except the love I have for my children." Ceres smiled. "I'm sorry you'll have to excuse me." She stood up gracefully. "I feel as though I'm needed. Duty and all.""Alright." she said smiling. "I understand compleatly. I hope that we will meet again sometime soon." she said smiling and nodding alittle.One of the times Keeta looked up, a lady sitting nearby waved at her, looking like perhaps she wanted to start a conversation. The half-elf woman wasn't particularly in the mood for chit-chat, as she figured most of the conversation in here would revolve around pregnancies, and she wasn't very keen on discussing hers. She wasn't one to be rude though, so she offered a tentative smile in response.
"Hello."Waddling into the building with a bit of a sour look on her face, the blimp made her way to the receptionist to sign in, then the waiting area. Her facial expression of a blatant frown had only just arrived on her face. She'd squat herself down into a seat. Yet couldn't help but bitterly think about her company for the appointment while she sat and waited.
Daikenkai had agreed to come with her to the Gaian Maternity and Fertility Clinic for a routine check-up. Then, not even a block from the office, he decided to wait the appointment out by smoking and attempting to flirt with any men nearby. Cross-dressers were almost as fickle as real women at times.
Where as the other company in the waiting room might have been polite, the blimp was not in the mood to talk. What was there to talk about anyways? The fact her stomach was large from two babies that wanted to kick their way out? The fact that they had two fathers? That fact always went over like a lead balloon, and knowing one of the fathers, he'd probably want that fact to stay secret.
Rather than start a conversation, she sighed aloud in a rather grievous manner. Almost like it was a warning as to what the next 7 or 8 months would bring these lucky ladies.The other woman apparently having become distracted, never responded to Keeta's greeting. It was just as well, because then she wouldn't have to explain how she came to be here. After a while she managed to immerse herself in one of the magazine articles.
After a while, she saw another woman with a fairly sour expression on her face enter the room. I wonder if she's in my boat, Keeta thought wryly. She certainly didn't look happy to be there at any rate. Not inclined to talk, herself, Keeta was content to let the woman alone. Some time passed, however, and the waiting room had become deserted, but for the two of them. Keeta was wondering when they would call her and looked down at her wrist to check the time, but discovered that she had forgotten her watch on her dresser. She turned to ask the receptionist, but she had temporarily left her station. She was hesitant to ask the other woman, not really wanting to disturb her, but Keeta was worried if she didn't get in soon, she would be late for work. Tentatively, she leaned over towards her.
"Excuse me, do you have the time? I'm trying to see how much time I have before my shift starts."In her mind, all she could think was It's too early to be up, but she fully knew she was a strange case herself. Bending her arm so that her wrist was to her face, she pulled her long sleeve down and glanced at the simple wristwatch hiding there.
"...it's 6:39, Miss." Her words seemed a bit flat as they fell out of her mouth. Yet her eyes seemed to liven up a bit. Rather than remaining staring ahead of her with anger, her brown eyes glanced to the side to take a look at the girl's face.
"You don't want to be here either, right?" Most times when she came before, she had met women who were bubbling with excitement about their little blessing. This woman was too quiet to be in that state of mind.Keeta exhaled with relief. Her shift didn't start until 8:30. She should be able to make it. Time just must move at a snail's pace sitting in this waiting room....
At the woman's question Keeta reddened a bit and looked away a moment, before responding. She didn't want to reveal, what she felt was her shame, but maybe it would be nice to talk to someone who felt the same way about their pregnancy....
"No....not really. I didn't intend to get pregnant..." She looked back at Sadako. "But here I am. I'm Keeta by the way," she said, trying to smile."Sadoko," she replied, not quite seeming to take the hint to lighten up. Turning away, she pointed out part of the truth for her own: "Yeah, didn't intend it this way either... but it happened... so I'm stuck with them..."
Once more she'd sigh before flicking a few strands of her black hair out of her face. She had plans before this. She'd start off by getting her doctorate in art. That would require her to go to England for a few years, since they didn't offer doctorates of art in the area. Yet having a couple of ankle-biters wouldn't exactly work well with her. She was luckier than most though.
"You got a boyfriend?" she asked, almost seemingly disinterested. Yet with that question, she was going for the meat of the conversation. No one could accuse her of being delicate."Them? You're having more than one?" Keeta asked, unintentionally looking surprised. She had thought she was in trouble having one. What if she was having more than one also? Well....hopefully they'd let her know that today....
"Boyfriend? Umm...no, not exactly...." This time her face really did turn red, all the way to the tips of her slightly pointed ears.Glancing down to the blimp that was her stomach, she nodded silently at first to the inquiry. However, she then clarified even more.
"...twins... fraternal... don't know the sexes. We're leaving that as a surprise."
Her eyes went back to the girl, who's face began to burn of a pinkish color. Yet, instead of being like some other people who had to get on their podium and lecture about how it was wrong to have sex just for having sex, she just nodded.
"...me neither. Mine's been deceased since at least a year before this..." she paused and pointed to her stomach "...ever happened." Most certainly, she would have preferred if Ari was the father. Hell, any situation would have been better than the current situation."Well I wish you luck in dealing with two of them at once...I don't know if I could do that. I don't know how well I'll do with one." Keeta shook her head, punctuating her statement. "I guess I have a while yet to try and figure that out."
"I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's passing. How did it happen, if you don't mind my asking?" She was hoping to steer the conversation away from herself. The last thing she wanted was Sadoko asking who the father actually was. It wasn't necessarily that Keeta wouldn't tell her. It was that she didn't even know. Somehow she doubted that was a problem this woman had. It certainly wasn't something she'd go into great detail about, seeing as she still felt like it was her fault for not being able to prevent it. Yet she offered one word: "...sunlight..." That word in itself should have spoken volumes about her love interest.
For a moment, she'd lean her elbows down onto her own stomach, almost as if it was a table or something. It really was a bad habit. It was almost as bad as Chez laying on her stomach while she stood up.
"So, how old are you? If you don't mind me asking... I'm actually just a bit shy of 20 myself." It wouldn't have been Luna's business to intrude if it weren't, well. Luna's business to intrude. But even so, she'd waited it out in her office (More like a playroom, actually), waiting to see if the situation improved without her intervention.
But tension was tension, and tension was not something she could leave alone for very long. After all, there was only so much tension a string could take before it snapped.
So she picked up a pillow; small, worn, and the embroidery fraying at the edges. And, clutching it to her chest, she walked out into the waiting room, her bare feet padding on the cold, hard floor. "Oh....I see...." she said, surprised for the second time during the conversation. There was an awkward pause before she answered Sadoko's question, because he felt she should say more about the death of her boyfriend, but she didn't know what. Clearing her throat, she finally moved on.
"Um...I just turned 30 a couple weeks ago, but I don't feel that old. I feel like I'm practically a kid still, in some ways...."
Keeta looked over as a third person entered the room. She was holding a pillow and was barefoot. Curious, her eyes followed the woman's movement across the room. Brown eyes flitted from the one she had been talking with to the face of someone she had only seen before. She had never really talked with her before. Offering a nod of the head in greeting, she then resumed her conversation as well as eye contact.
"I'm sure you get told you look pretty young for your age. I would have thought you were about the same age as me." Her mouth did something awkward, and it curled upwards mildly for a soft smile. She might have offered a laugh if she was more in the mood for it.
Feeling like they could pause from their current conversation, she once more acknowledged the newcomer. "Is it time for one of us to see the doctor?"Well, they were most certainly seeing her now, weren't they? Though she wasn't a doctor, of course. But, as they say in the business, to-may-to, to-mah-to.
She slowly traced the marks that had been painted on her face, being careful not to smudge the makeup. Her brow furrowed in thought, and finally, she took the pillow she was holding and pressed it insistently into Keeta's arms.
With that task completed, she turned her attention to Sadoko. Well, she supposed, there wasn't much she could do there at this time, was there? "Well yes, I suppose." She tucked her hair behind her ears, better revealing their pointed ends. "I think that would be my father's contribution to my genetic makeup. And that's about all he gave me..."
Keeta's expression turned to one of confusion as Luna handed her the pillow. She took it, however, and looked at the woman.
"Um...thank you? But why are you giving this to me?" Leaning forward a bit, she took notice of the shape of this girl's ears. "I suppose that explains it quite well actually." Of course, she wasn't inclined to explain her own heritage. It wasn't something that needed to be public knowledge anyways.
Casually she'd watch the other, who apparently was not a nurse, seeing as neither one of them were being guided away to their appointment. Maybe she was a child who had been tended by the GMFC. Sadoko remembered one time she came with Daikenkai, who felt it was okay to try and fool a little boy into thinking he was a woman. This woman did seem a bit old for that, but it was possible.
"I'll take that as a no then..." she sighed as she thoughtfully glanced to a few magazines. It would be more interesting than watching some sort of silent lady and a pillow.Not getting a response from the other woman, Keeta, still clutching the pillow, turned back to Sadoko. This place was certainly strange.
"So....I feel kind of dumb asking this, but do you know what I should expect going back there? This is my first time here and...well I'm not used to all this," she said sweeping her arm around the room. "There aren't doctors like this where I'm from. All we have are healers with herbal and sometimes magical remedies."Leaning back a bit, her eyes went up slightly as she tried to think about when she first came by. One of the most distinct things she remembered was that there were cold hands. Certainly, the doctor tried to warm them up, but they were still too cold.
"...cold hands... expect cold hands..." she stated, not really seeming to elaborate much more than that. She paused, and returned her brown eyes to Keeta. "A healer definitely cannot check upon how well a pregnancy is going though... otherwise I would have never come here." With one friend being a healer as well, it would have just been easier to talk to her if that was the case.Keeta was hoping for something a little more informative than cold hands, but...she'd take what she could get.
"Cold hands huh? I don't think I would have come here either," Keeta said, nodding her agreement to Sadoko's comment. She would have preferred something more familiar than this sterile environment, so far separated from nature.
"Really...I wouldn't have come anyways except that someone gave me a business card. I think they might be disappointed though." She paused a moment, looking down before continuing. "She was hoping that I would come here and that they would help me...end my pregnancy. I...I'm glad they don't do that here though. I don't think I could ever forgive myself."Though Keeta seemed to have a problem with the word, Sadoko had no problem saying it: "Abortion. I definitely am not one to support such. What is meant to be, shall be." Her left hand strayed to her bulging stomach and settled there. "...I might not have been prepared for such, but it is my own fault in those regards."
Yes, never trust two drunk men who just want a good time. She had no excuse, seeing as she was extremely sober (such coming from her abstinence of alcoholic beverages). She shrugged at the memory, knowing there wasn't much she could do about it now.
"Either way, it is my own responsibility." Once more she glanced at some of the magazines, but this time she actually leaned forward as much as she could and picked one up. To be expected, it was a child-psychology magazine, a subject which Sadoko had been studying up on at the University.
She considered what Sadoko said for a moment. "What is meant to be shall be." So...she was meant to have this baby? It was a hard thing to get her head around, and she knew it would take a while to accept it completely. She wasn't prepared to have a child either, yet here she was. And as Sakodo said, whether Keeta liked it or not, it was her fault. She made choices that had gotten her here.
"I'm at fault as well....I can't pretend I'm innocent in my life ending up where it is right now...." She looked up and saw that Sadoko had picked up a magazine. Not wanting to be a bother, she stopped talking and waited for her name to be called.
She'd quietly flip through the pages of the magazine and find an article that looked more at how infants process various stimuli around them. Yet at this point, Keeta mentioned something and stopped. Glancing up again, she found the girl to be sitting quietly now. Glancing to the table, she saw another magazine about beginning mothers.
"...Keeta, you should think about at least taking a glimpse through that magazine while you wait. Probably some articles which may help you in the future..." With her advice offered, Sadoko went back to her own magazine. Her own choice in magazine would prove to be very interesting, but that's because some of the theories were a bit different than the theories she learned at the University.
I suppose I should just take both into account, since I don't know which is true and which is not she mused in her head.
Keeta glanced over at the magazine Sadoko was referring to. It had a picture of a smiling mother with a baby in her arms on the cover and listed articles like "Preparing For Your Arrival," and "Popular Baby Names."
"Probably a good idea," she said nodding, while reaching for the magazine. One article on the stages of pregnancy caught her eye and she opened the magazine to that page. Within the pages of the article was a chart, showing how big the baby was, week by week. Figuring she was somewhere between 6 to 9 weeks along, Keeta glanced over at the chart to see how big the baby was. It said that while the baby was only somewhere between the size of a raspberry and a grape, but was already growing hands and feet.
How can something so tiny, that I can't even see or feel yet, be affecting my life so dramatically?
"Keeta Harding?" A voice came from the door leading to the back, disrupting her thoughts. A woman stood there with a medical file in her hand. "The doctor will see you now."
Keeta got to her feet and followed the woman into the back of the clinic. They went through the routine of taking vitals, which was anything but routine to Keeta, who had never seen a blood pressure cuff in her life. After getting all the information she needed, the nurse dropped off Keeta in one of the rooms. After informing her that the doctor would be in shortly, the nurse left, closing the door behind her. Alone in the room, Keeta spent her time waiting examining the various charts and diagrams on the walls, as well as the medical instruments that were on the counters. "Wow, you're not what I expected."
The door opened on a lithe redhead with very pale skin and a long ponytail. Under her labcoat, the doctor wore a black turtleneck and black jeans; there was the impression that she ought to have gunbelts, but she looked absurdly young to have those 'accoutrements.' She was roughly 25, and her very sharp green eyes glanced from Keeta to the folder in her hands as if she wasn't sure she had the right room.
"You look like such a nice person," she continued dryly, closing the door behind her, "for the lifestyle you've been leading. Dr. London Witherspoon- how are you feeling about all of this, Ms. Harding?"Keeta was caught off guard by the abrupt manner in which Dr. London entered the room and addressed her. If she wasn't what the doctor had expected, that was all fine and dandy, because Dr. London wasn't what Keeta had expected either. None of the healers she had encountered in Evin had ever spoken to her like that, that she could remember.
"I....I'm rather shook up about it actually," she said after a moment. Keeta had thought about other ways she could have responded to what the doctor had said, but it wouldn't do to upset the person who was going to try and help her with the baby she was going to be having."That's good. You SHOULD be. If a woman isn't freaking out at least a little bit, then I'm not really sure she ought to be having a baby...unless she's already got five. That's different."
Taking a seat in the rolling stool, Londy set the file aside and turned to face her patient. The signs of wear were evident on her features; it wasn't often the GMFC saw unexpected mothers. Most came to the Clinic to get help with getting pregnant, so they walked into it knowing what was going on.
"First things first," she continued, voice softening slightly, "everything really is gonna be okay. Women have babies all the time. You're about to get a new star in your life that will take up more of your attention than you EVER expected, but it's going to be wonderful. Have you been sick at all? Come up with any out-of-the-ordinary food allergies?"Keeta relaxed a bit, when the doctor's tone softened and it was clear, that for the moment at least, was she not going to reprimand her for getting into the situation she was in. In fact, Dr. London started to reassure her. She appreciated it more than she let on. It was nice to have someone tell her that it was going to be ok.
"I want it to be wonderful. But I'm still sort of scared, I don't know what to expect as far as the baby itself....As for being sick, I've thrown up a few times in the past couple weeks, but nothing other than that. I figure it's morning sickness though....from what little I know about being pregnant. " "Mmmhmm. You may experience eating disorders and unusual medical conditions-"
Londy paused, and regarded the other woman thoughtfully. "Wait. How familiar are you with our medical technology and terminology? You don't feel like a native Gaian; if I start throwing strange words at you, make sure you stop me. Basically, being pregnant changes a lot about the way your body works. You've been abusing yourself for a while...so that could have some side effects, too. For the baby to be safe and healthy, you'll have to clean up your act.""I know....and I will...." Keeta said somewhat meekly. "It's that kind of behavior that got me into this in the first place. I swear I haven't touched anything like that since I found out, but.....you're saying I could have already hurt the baby? Is there any way to find out, or help it, if I have? I've already messed up once. I don't want to make it worse without even knowing that I did it....." Concern was clearly written on the woman's face.
Keeta shook her head, before answering Dr. London's other question. "And, no, I'm not a native Gaian. I was born in Evin, a ways from here, across the ocean. We came in via the Isle of Gambino. I've been able to understand everything you've been saying to me so far, at least contextually. It's a lot of the technology that's confused me so far. For example, what was that thing they wrapped around my arm and got tight, before I came in here?"That made sense. The woman wasn't STUPID, after all, just unfamiliar with some of the items and phrases around her. Fair enough. "Blood pressure cuff. It tells us something about how well your body and heart are working. Your readings seem to be just fine, but it's routine to take your blood pressure and all of those other things the nurse did whenever you come in."
"As long as you keep yourself clean and stay away from any addictive substances- drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.- you'll do fine going forward. Yes, some damage might have already been done. We have no way of knowing how much, if any, until you're farther along. But...that's to be expected. You have a good attitude, and that will make up for a lot of mistakes." She smirked a little, and cocked her head to the side. "And I'll be giving you a detailed nutrition guide, as well.""Oh." Was all Keeta could say to Dr. London's explanation of the blood pressure cuff and other things she had encountered earlier. So doing all that was normal? Guess I'd better get used to it...I'm probably going to be in here several more times before I'm through this, she thought to herself.
Keeta was a bit disheartened and scared to know that she might have already hurt the baby already, but it seemed like there was no use in worrying at the moment. There was no way to tell yet and the doctor didn't seem overly concerned....
"Nutrition guide? As in what to eat?" she asked. That wouldn't be a big problem for Keeta. As a half-elf, she tended to eat fairly "naturally" and consequently, healthy.
"I do have another question though...." she started, blushing again and spoke quietly, almost to the point of mumbling. (This really was becoming an unfortunate habit for her). "Is there any way of telling before my baby is born, what kinds of features it may have? My erm....partners....were diverse and I was wondering how that might affect my pregnancy? But I suppose that falls under the same category of whether I hurt it or not. It's too early?""Got yourself in pretty deep, didn't you?" London asked dryly, and reached out to pat Keeta's hand. It was a surprisingly motherly gesture; Londy didn't seem the 'motherly' type at ALL. "Don't worry. There is SO much we can do with our level of technology; we can correct a lot of problems your baby might have, and when he or she is born we can identify the race of the father exactly. With all of the uncertainties you have, you came to the right place. Our staff holds counselors, doctors, nurses...all the people you both need to help you get through this well and happy."
In response to the nutrition question, she nodded and reached into the pocket of her labcoat. One slender hand emerged, fingers wrapped around a stout white bottle. "How to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, etc. One of these vitamins a day. That's going to be very important for you. There's also a chance that you might contract a few of the pregnancy-related conditions I was talking about earlier, so it's important that you come in regularly for checkups, even if you feel fine."I guess I did...." Keeta admitted, with embarrassment, in regards to the comment that Dr. London made about her situation. And she was indeed surprised by Dr. London's gesture. She would have never expected it with the way the Doctor had entered the room minutes before.
"You can?" Keeta asked in wonder when Dr. London told her that they would be able to identify the race of the father. All this technology was amazing to her. "Is it also true that you can take a picture of the baby when it's still inside of me? I thought I had heard about other people doing that."
Keeta took the vitamins from Dr. London's hand and turned the bottle over, reading the label. She would make sure she would do everything that she was told. She would do her best to make up for her screw-ups.
"Any other do's and don'ts? I want to make sure I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to. I don't want to make more of a mess of this, if I can help it." She'd be back; Luna knew that full well. After all, in order to leave the clinic after the appointment, Keeta would have to return to the waiting room, however briefly. And Luna was right there waiting for her, casually flipping through one of the magazines left in the waiting room.
And through it all, she vaguely wondered if the poor girl was feeling any better.After her chat with Dr. London in the back of the clinic, Keeta came out through the same door she had entered, pillow in hand. She noticed the young woman who had given her the pillow earlier was still sitting in the waiting room, looking at a magazine. She was still curious as to why she had given her the pillow, but she had to settle with billing first. Money was a relentless part of life.
After settling her debts, and making a more formal appointment to get an ultrasound done in a month or so, she headed back through the chairs in the waiting room, pausing by the woman. Keeta looked a little self-conscious as she glanced down at her.
"Um...hi. Thank you again for the pillow from earlier," she said, holding it up. "But you never did tell me why you gave it to me. We haven't met before today, have we?"Luna glanced up and tilted her head, a sheepish smile on her face. There was no point answering the question in full until she was certain she knew Keeta could "hear" her, now, wasn't there?
So she projected a tentative greeting; a vague feeling of fleeting unfamiliarity followed closely by the hope that they would be seeing quite a bit of each other in the months to come.While looking down at the woman, she smiled, and then suddenly Keeta's mind was was visited by thoughts and emotions that were not her own. Confused, Keeta blinked furiously and shook her head a little, as if trying to clear it. She was so startled by the projection, that she missed it's meaning entirely. What was going on? Keeta glanced down at the woman again, who still hadn't spoken.
"Di...Did you...?An emphatic nod. Perhaps mindspeak wasn't the best way to do this; Keeta, after all, had been through quite a lot. There was no need to trouble her further.
Click. In an instant, Luna had produced a ballpoint pen and a pad of paper, and began to write in neat, elegant handwriting:
My name is Luna Keth-- GMFC counselor. I'd greet you properly, but I'm unable to speak.Keeta was surprised at the nod, but more surprised when in almost the same instant, the woman was scratching out a message on a pad of paper. Watching the progression of the handwriting, Keeta sat down in the vacant chair next to to the woman, so that she wouldn't have to worry about reading upside down. After digesting the message, her mouth formed a small round "o" before she glanced up to look Luna full in the face.
"What was that? I've never experienced anything like that before..." Keeta said, in a slight state of wonder. There were no native peoples with empathic or telepathic abilities in Evin, so the whole concept was new to her, although apparently she could still receive Luna's projections.
"And I'm Keeta, Keeta Harding," she continued. "It's nice to meet you." She chose not to comment on Luna's inability to speak. Even though she wanted to say "I'm sorry," she knew from years of living that most people preferred not to be pitied for the challenges they faced in life. It's both Luna wrote, as if the "empathy or telepathy?" question had been spoken out loud. Before I was born, she continued, my mind was forced to protect itself. The ability to speak was traded for the ability to mindspeak in words.
She paused, setting the pen down and gently shaking her hand to dispel any oncoming cramps. My people are natural empaths. I am strange even to them since I have abilities beyond theirs. Another pause. I could speak directly into your mind, but I feel it may be too stressful for you. After all... She smiled enigmatically at Keeta. You have enough as it is.
A faint giggle, and then she turned her attention back to the paper. Did the pillow help relax you? I thought it would.Keeta watched the pen scratch away at the paper and realized that Luna had been able to detect at least some of what she had been thinking. Almost immediately, her cheeks reddened as she thought that perhaps Luna had "heard" Keeta feeling sorry for her. She hadn't realized that Luna didn't only have the ability to send, but also to receive thoughts and emotions. Not skilled enough in this to purposely attempt to project coherent thoughts, herself, Keeta continued to speak out loud.
"I see," she said in response to Luna's explanation. "I don't know if it'd be too stressful, so much as you surprised me, and it's new. I'd be willing to try again, for your sake, because I know what a pain it is to write for extended periods," noting how Luna had shaken her hand to relieve it. "We just might have to take it a little bit at a time.
"As for the pillow, it was nice. It relaxed me a little, but I have to be honest, that it confused me more. I didn't know why you were giving it to me, and now I realize it's because you were picking up on what I was going through, even if you didn't hear me verbalize all of it. Am I correct?"Once again, Luna nodded, apparently unbothered by Keeta's guilt."So...you're a councilor, you said? I don't suppose you have any advice to give me then, since you seem to know at least some of my predicament?" Keeta asked hopefully. She'd gotten medical advice from Doctor London about how to physically care for herself and the baby. It would be nice to know how to care for herself mentally in all of this though, she knew.This time, Luna projected the words directly into Keeta's mind. It's going to be rough, she admitted. You and I, we're the same in a way. We didn't expect this. She paused to collect her thoughts, and then smiled brightly.
But you're here. You could be anywhere else "taking care of it", but instead you came here. I think you've already decided that you're in this for better or for worse, haven't you?
She gently rested a hand on Keeta's shoulder, the smile never leaving her face. Hold on to that. It's going to be difficult, and you're going to wonder why you're doing this. What it's all for. And you may even regret it sometimes. But it's all right to feel that way, as long as you remain strong not just for your baby, but for yourself, as well.
You've joined a very large family today, Keeta Harding. Some of us are brought here by similar circumstances, like you were. And some of us are born into it, like I was. But we're all family, and families look after their own.
You're not alone, Keeta Harding. And if you ever feel like you're alone in this, I want you to come back and see me.
Okay? 4laugh Keeta was once more thrown off by the foreign thoughts, but knowing what they were and where they came from helped her to relax and recover. She quietly listened to Luna's mind-speak and found that despite the unusual circumstances, she was still comforted by the woman's words.
"Thank you," she said, a tenative smile on her face. "I needed to hear that. It's nice knowing I'm not alone."
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:08 pm
Keeta was being busy around her apartment the afternoon after her first appointment at the GMFC. While she definitely had the appearance of productivity, she wasn't really accomplishing much. Piles were just getting relocated and things that didn't really matter were having a lot of time spent on them. Her mind was too occupied with the events of the past few days to really concentrate well on anything else. She was amazed she had made any tips at all the night before.
How did one act after finding out they were going to have a baby that they didn't really plan on having? It was a difficult thing to deal with. And what made it worse is that she had no idea who dad was. Then there was also telling people she knew. It wasn't like they would miss the lump that would be appearing in the next few months. There would be questions, arguments, disappointment and other unpleasant things that went with that, she was sure.Annata, having last week been completely consuming for her, was thrilled to finally have a break. She peered outside and thought the day to be absolutely beautiful. "Keeta must be busy fixing up her apartment or something similar to that right now, instead of enjoying this wonderful weather," she spoke quietly to herself as she stepped out the front door. Annata walked along the sidewalk, counting each panel along the way. She must have lost count around seventy-three, because her mind had wondered to other things.
Annata approached Keeta's apartment. She slid a sly grin on her face and hopped up next to the front door. She leaned forward, one hand behind her back, concealing a hat, the other hand forward, ready to knock on her door. "Oh Keeta! Keeta!", she shouted with joy while knocking on the front door. "It's a lovely day, how about you join me on a pleasant walk?" Keeta was startled from her thoughts from an eager knocking on her front door. She wasn't expecting anyone.....As she got closer to the door though, she could hear the voice coming from the other side and couldn't help but smile.
Annata was always a welcome sight. Somehow she always brightened the mood whenever she was around. She was several years younger than Keeta, but they had formed a good friendship over the years. Having been worried about who of her friends from the bar to impart her news t first, she couldn't have asked for a better person to spring the news on. She knew that Annata at least would not be condescending. Finally reaching the door, Keeta opened it, having a genuine smile on her face for the first time in days.
"Hey! Come on in! How're you?" Annata smile grew even more as she stepped inside Keeta's apartment. She looked around and a frown replaced her smile, "Oh, Keeta. You're spending this lovely day inside cleaning? C'mon girl. I know what you need!" She revealed the hat she had been hiding. "You need to come on a walk with me. We haven't been able to find the time to hang out, so I believe this to be the perfect opportunity! Don't you think?" Annata held her soft, green gaze on Keeta. Her eyes will filled with hope as she held the hat out for her. Keeta's smile grew faint at Annata's comment about spending the day inside. She didn't want to just into her confession just yet, but she knew it was related to her not going out so much the past week.
"I just haven't felt like getting out lately...." Keeta shrugged, hoping this would be enough of an explanation for the moment. "But sure, I'll go for a walk with you." She took the hat out of the other girl's hands and placed it on her head.
"Thanks for the hat! Where shall we walk to?" Annata nodded to what Keeta was saying, "I understand. I've been way to busy, so I haven't had the time to get out either. It's alright. I was thinking that we might go for a walk to the store to pick up from bread. I thought it would be cool if we went to the park and feed the ducks at the pond. What do you think?" She started to head out the door; however, her eyes were still on Keeta."Sounds good to me. It's been a while since I've gone to feed the ducks." Yeah...'cause I've been too busy messing up my life, she thought wryly, as she followed Annata out the door.
"Maybe we can find some freshly baked bread instead of the stuff in the bags. Fresh bread is so much better, and it reminds me of home....." In Evin all the bread was freshly made, and they didn't have such things as grocery stores. She turned to Annata after she locked the door behind her. Locks...another new thing here.
"So what has been going on in your life lately? It's been so long since we've seen each other!"Annata watched as Keeta locked her apartment, something seemed a little odd about this scene to Annata, but she didn't press it. She smiled at Keeta and said, "Fresh bread sounds great, there is this wonderful bakery down the block! We can even pick up a little something for ourselves." Annata, the smile still plastered to her face, began to walk along the side walk, waving for Keeta to follow. The two of them reached the bakery, the sun was brightly shining, and the stores bustled with people. The warm aroma that spilled out of the bakery was relaxing. Annata turned toward Keeta as they walked into the bakery, "You can pick up anything you'd like to snack on, I'll go grab a loaf of bread for the ducks."As they neared the bakery, Keeta inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of the fresh, warm bread. Keeta wandered up to where the fresh pastries and rolls were. A couple of éclairs caught her eye. Thinking Annata might like one as well. she grabbed two of them and put them in a bakery bag, as well as a couple of fresh baked sourdough rolls. She met Annata by the front counter where they both paid for their purchases and continued down the sidewalk.
"Eclair?" Keeta asked, offering one of the pastries to Annata. "They looked so good, I couldn't resist!" She repeated her earlier question. "So what has been going on with you since we last saw each other?"Annata took the éclair and smiled her thanks. She spoke after swallowing her first bite of the delicious cream puff, "I've taken up this volunteer job. It's just a little something I'd thought would help pass the time away, but it really has taken over my life. I mean, I'm not one to complain about volunteer work, but it's really tough to do all the things I use to do." She took another bite and continued talking, "It's mostly just cleaning up parks and helping restore many rundown places all over Gaia. I just can't wait to see it all when our job is complete!" Annata continued along the sidewalk, the park finally coming into view. She smiled at Keeta and asked, "So what have you been up to? Cleaning on a beautiful day? What has got you so busy, Keeta?" "Sounds like that would be fun though. I bet you've made lots of friends doing something like that. I kind of wish I was doing something for other people like that...." Instead you've been selfish and stupid and look where it's got you... Keeta was beginning to wish she could get rid of these thoughts she was having every so often. But unfortunately she knew that they were right.
"Well...I've kind of been moonlighting. While most everyone thinks I'm just working over at the Casbah, I've been working nights on the other side of town. I needed something else to occupy me. It's been really hard on me here. It's so different from Evin, and I still haven't found a good balance for myself.""Oh, I suppose that makes sense," she spoking knowingly. "But if you have late work nights, Keeta, you should probably sleep more during the day. I hate to drag you out of the house while you're drained." She leaned against a tree and then broke of a small piece of bread. Annata tossed the piece into the pond and watched as the ducks gathered around it. The light reflected of the water and casted patterns on her gentle face. She looked up at Keeta and thought to herself. Something seemed off about her story, but yet again she didn't press the subject. She put on a small smile, "Maybe if you take a couple days off you can get yourself situated a little more. Here, take the bread." Annata held out the bread for Keeta, so that she could start feeding the ducks. "I do usally sleep more during the day, but I had the day off today, so I wanted to get some things done," she said, reaching for the bread. She tore off a a piece and tossed it in the water before continuing.
"I've made some new friends over on the other side of town, and well...they've introdruced me to a lot of new things here, helping me understand a lot. I've been spending a lot of time with them as well. I've ended up doing many things with them that I wouldn't have done back in Evin.... "Well, I hope you're getting some good experience in. I mean if you have these friends help you out, you'll probably be better off. Their advice will really help you make it a life here in Gaia," she watched Keeta as she fed the ducks. She looked up through the branches of the tree she was leaning against. The sunlight casted patterns across her gentle face. The ducks were gathering closer to the edge of the pond, eager to get more bread. Keeta chuckled wryly. Even in her predicament, she found the irony of Annata's comment to be amusing.
"Maybe...and maybe not. Their experiences, help and advice has already gotten me into my fair share of trouble..." she looked away, throwing more bread into the water.Annata frowned and looked toward Keeta, "Trouble? What do you mean by that? I mean, you don't have to tell me anything, sorry I asked. But can I help in anyway?" She arched her eyebrow, the frown still on her face. She pushed up off the tree she was leaning on and walked over toward Keeta, her hands held as if to ask for the bread.
"No....Don't be sorry," she said, as she ripped off a sizable hunk of bread, before placing the rest of it in Annata's outstretched hand. "I need to tell someone. Everyone will know eventually anyways...It's just hard." Keeta ripped off a smaller piece of her hunk of bread, before tossing it into the water. She bit her lower lip, trying to get the courage to tell her friend the embarrassing truth. Annata tore off a piece of the bread and spoke up, "Oh Keeta. You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. You know that right?" She gave her a reassuring smile and tossed the piece of bread that she had torn off into the pond. "But I mean, if you need someone to tell, I'll be open and understanding. I'll try to help you through whatever trouble that you're in." Keeta smiled sadly, before looking at Annata.
"Thank you for offering to help. I already told my new "friends," because I figured since they had encouraged the behavior that got me into it, they might be willing to support me." She shook her head and turned away again. "I was wrong." She sighed and tossed another small piece of bread, towards one of the braver ducks that had wandered onto the shore in search of a handout. Keeta took a beep breath and continued to watch the duck as she spoke.
"Annata...I'm pregnant." Annata paused before tossing the last piece of bread into the pond. She smiled then tossed it, she spoke kindly, "Keeta, this is great news! Though I didn't know you were with somebody." She brushed the crumbs off her hands and turned toward Keeta, placing her hands on her hips and arching her eyebrow. "You do know who the father is, right Keeta?" her voice was a little uneasy. "I mean, you should know, right?" Keeta had turned to look at Annata when she had started speaking, but when she asked about the father, she looked away again. She didn't want her friend to see that her eyes were starting to glisten with tears. This is what she had been afraid of, her friends thinking poorly of her because she doesn't know who the father is. Feeling emotion swelling inside her, she didn't trust herself to reply. Instead she walked away a few steps and sat down on the grass, putting her face in her hands, letting her silence answer Annata's question.Annata had a half smile on her face, it showed concern. She walked over to Keeta and sat down next to her. Her legs stretched out in front of her and her hands resting in her lap. "Now Keeta, things like this happen to a lot of women. It's not like it makes you a bad person," she kept her voice calm and quiet. Annata gazed at the ducks as they started to migrated towards the middle of the pond. She leaned over and nudged Keeta a little, "You shouldn't think of the "bad" things relating to this. You're going to be a mother, it's a brand new and wonderful experience. That is if you make it out to be that way. I know this sounds hard and you're new to this life style, but you're now going to have to find a way to live here in Gaia that is right for both you and your baby. Do you get what I'm saying? Everything will work out just fine. I'm here to help you through this." Annata fell backward and looked up at the sky, "I take it your new friends here were telling you to get rid of the baby, huh? So I guess what I said about knowing the father or not sort of made me sounds like one of those friends? I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, Keeta." She shifted her eyes, looking over toward Keeta. "You know that, right?"Keeta was silent the whole time Annata talked and for a few moments afterwards. It was hard to force her emotions down again to the point where she could trust herself to speak without bursting into tears. She still couldn't bring herself to look at Annata as she spoke.
"I...I know. I just didn't want anyone to...think differently of me because of this. Especially you guys. You and Tess and everyone else from the bar family. I don't think I could have handled that. You're the first person I told, so....I thought if you were upset, everyone else would be too. I don't know how I'm going to tell Tess..." Annata smiled, "We would never think differently of you, Keeta. You're a wonderful person. Nothing could change that." She wiggled her nose and sat up again. "I think I smell rain, Keeta. We should start heading back. I'll head over to your apartment with you and I can help you finish some of your chores, m'kay?" She hopped up off the ground and held her hand out for the poor woman. She spoke kindly, once more, "I can go with you, you know. I can go and support you while you tell Tarotess. She's very understanding, and she loves you, you should know that she'd never think poorly of you!"Keeta sniffed the air at the mention of rain and looked up. The sky was getting darker and there was that tell-tale scent on the air. She gratefully accepted Annata's hand and got to her feet.
"Thanks for the offer of help at home, but I think I'll manage. As for Tess, I know she's understanding. I just....don't want to disappoint her in any way. She's been so good to me...." Shaking her head, she starting towards the edge of the park and the path home.
"But I'll just have to face the music and do it. I'll let you know when I think I'm going to break the news to her, ok?""Well, alright Keeta. Take care of yourself, you hear me," She yawned and stretched out. "I'll head home later. You go ahead then. I think I'm going to stay here at the park a little while longer." She waved Keeta off and sat back down on the grass. Keeta pregnant? I never would have guessed. I just hope that she can tell Tarotess in time. I'm afraid the only thing that would upset her is if Keeta kept it a secret from her for too long. She yawned and closed her eyes, waiting for the rain to approach. "Enjoy yourself Annata, and I'll see you later!" Keeta said, giving a wave as she headed home.
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Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:13 pm
10 Weeks Along
Dear Diary,
I think I'm going to start putting how many weeks along the baby is at the top of the entries here, so I can keep track for memories sake, or whatever. I don't know if it'll matter later, but if it does, it's there.
Well I went to that appointment I told you about. I met some interesting people in the lobby. One of them was actually in a similar situation, where her pergnancy is unexpected, except this woman is having twins. I can't imagine....one is enough for me.
As for the reason I went to the clinic...yes I'm pregnant and no I don't know if it's a boy or girl.. The doctor couldn't answer all the questions I had. She said that I would have to wait a while, so the baby is bigger, before we can figure out anything more.
It's going to be hard for me to wait, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it would be nice to know what I'm dealing with here. Because I wasn't exactly picky with who I...well. you know...so....the genetic diversity of this child could be very unusual. I can't pretend to know how that may or may not affect the course of my pregnancy.
The other reason I'm going to have difficulty waiting is further tribute to my stupidity. Because I was messing around with all sorts of things (both legal and not) since I've been hanging out with this group of friends, there's a chance that I've injured the baby with whatever I've had since I've been pregnant. As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I haven't had anything, but that doesn't account for the 6-8 weeks from before. I just...hope I haven't taken one mistake and made it worse. We'll find out in a few weeks I guess.
On another note, I told my boss at the other bar that I was pregnant. He wasn't as surprised as I thought he'd be, although evidently he had the same mindset as the other friends I'd told. When I told him I wasn't planning on getting rid of the baby and that I was planning on cutting my hours back a little each week, he kind of got an annoyed expression on his face, but didn't argue with me. I guess he though he'd lose me altogether if he had a problem with it. I would quit, but now that I'm going to be responsible for someone else, I'm going to need to some extra cash. Needless to say, I won't be getting as involved in my job as I was before though....that only brought trouble.
I also told Annata about it. She didn't seem too happy that I didn't know who the father was, but was accepting otherwise. She offered to come with me when I break the news to Tess. I hope she can follow through with that. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need some support on that one.
Until next time,
~Keeta
P.S. The lady from the waiting room (Sadoko was her name) said I should do some reading about my pregnancy and the baby and such. I think I'm going to go over to the bookstore on my next day off.
P.P.S. Oh! And the stuff they use in the doctor's office is so weird. I don't even know what all of it is for, but I learned what a blood pressure cuff is.
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:11 pm
Self-Help Section
Keeta didn't manage to make it to the bookstore until well over a week after she chatted with Annata. She had either been working, been running other errands, or been too exhausted to really do anything. This baby business really did tap into one's energy stores between all the changes and the times when heartburn, or the like, kept her awake. She figured baby was around 10 weeks along by now.
Finally, today she was going to have an evening shift at the Casbah, had gotten enough sleep to be well rested and didn't have anything else she really needed to accomplish for the day. There was a bookstore only a few blocks away and finding it pleasant outside, Keeta chose to walk. It took her about half an hour before she reached the entrance to the store.
Walking in, she felt a grin spread across her face. While Keeta had enjoyed books back in Evin, when she could get them, she was always amazed when she walked into a book store here in Gaia. In Evin, books were a fairly rare commodity. They were mostly written by hand, although they had recently begun to use printing press technology in the decade or so before Keeta left. The little town she lived in had a small private library that she was fortunate enough to get access to once in a while, but it was comprised of only a couple hundred books. Consequently, it was almost overwhelming to see this many books in one place, not to mention multiple copies of the same book. She would love to spend hours in here, just looking at all of them, but with limited energy stores and work later that night, random browsing would have to wait. She was here on a mission.
Keeta fortunately managed to ask a clerk where the books on pregnancy were, without turning beet red. When she reached the appropriate books, right next to the self-help section, she took a sideways glance at the other people around her, looking to see if any of them were giving her the disapproving look she felt like she half-deserved. She had to keep reminding herself that these people didn't know the story behind her pregnancy, and consequently wouldn't judge her for it.
Satisfied that no one was staring at her, Keeta began to glance through the books compiled with expectant and new mothers in mind. There were so many to pick from! How could she narrow it town to a few that would be most helpful to her? In theory, she could buy a lot of them, but she didn't really want to spend that much and she knew the chances of her reading through more than a couple books in the remainder of her pregnancy were slim to none. Despite cutting back her hours at the bar across town, she still felt as though she couldn't get to everything she wanted to in a day.
Sighing, she continued perusing through the titles, picking up and replacing a few of them before settling on four: What to Expect When You're Expecting; You Know You're Pregnant When. Reflections on the Longest Nine Months of My Life; The Pregnancy Countdown Book: Nine Months of Practical Tips, Useful Advice, and Uncensored Truths; The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. She had been a little hesitant on the last one, but then again, she figured, it couldn't hurt to start thinking about things like that already. And like she had told Dr. London, she wanted to do everything she could right.
When she got to the check out counter, the clerk looked over the book titles, before breaking into a grin and spouting "Congratulations! You must be so thrilled!" Keeta nodded and tried to smile, hoping she appeared as thrilled as the clerk was expecting her to be. The last thing she wanted was to feel like she had to explain herself to the bookstore cashier.
The clerk appeared not to notice and continued bubbling on about how exciting it was to be having a baby, as she rang up Keeta's purchases. Keeta gave the occasional polite nod or smile, and just let the cashier ramble on. She was more than happy to head out the door and away from the clerk, just the same.
Once she got home, Keeta pulled out the first of the books, What to Expect When You're Expecting. She found a comfortable position on the couch, looking at the clock. 3:30. She still had a few hours before she had to get ready for work. With a determination to learn what she could about her pregnancy in that time, Keeta cracked open the book.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:49 am
Telling Tess(WIP)
((Transcribed from an RP in a hidden guild, so no link, sorry))
Keeta wandered into the bar one evening, about an hour early for her shift. It was early afternoon, so she wasn't really expecting to see too much in the way of customers. She was, however, hoping to find Tess floating somewhere around.
It had been several weeks since she had talked to Annata in the park, and she knew it was high time to tell Tess about her predicament. She had been putting it off because she wanted to find what she thought was the right time to tell her. The "right time" never really seemed to present itself, however, and she knew she couldn't wait much longer. The baby would be about 13 or 14 weeks along now and probably wouldn't be too long before she started showing to those who looked closely. Whether she was ready or not, she had to do it. She had called Annata the night before and told her that she had still been procrastinating, but that she intended to tell Tess the next day. Annata had said that she would try to show up, but that she couldn't promise anything as she had a commitment with her volunteer group that evening.
Not immediately seeing Tess or Annata in the main bar, she headed back to where the office was and knocked before poking her head in the door.
"Anyone here?""Papers...Papers and friggin paperwork...being the owner of a bar is a huge pain in the a**! It's the pain of a thousand paper cuts on your a**!"
Tess threw the papers on the mound on her desk.
"I shouldn't have let this get so far ahead of me...I'm going to be going through this bullshit all week.."
She collapsed in a chair and rubbed her head,which was starting to ache.There was a knock at the office door.
"come in...it's never locked..""You ok, Tess?" Keeta asked tentatively as she stepped into the room. "I don't want to interrupt if you're busy...." She eyed the mound of paperwork on the desk. No wonder she couldn't find the "perfect time" to tell Tess. The woman was overloaded with paperwork and other responsibilities.
"I can come back later...." Part of Keeta was hoping Tess would send her away, saying she was too busy. It would give her longer to avoid telling her secret, and she would have a perfectly legitimate reason for doing so.Tess smiled.
"Keets...don't you dare leave...I want an excuse not to deal with this murdered forest on my desk. What do you need honey?"
She leaned back in her chair and motioned Keeta to come in and sit down. Soon she would be having to find something utterly ridiculous to wear for the customers...they had come to expect it from the succubus. Some stereotypes die hard.Tess studied Keeta's face and could sense something was wrong...and something was hidden. She wouldn't push though...she learned long ago that never works. She would just take her time to see what was said."What is all that anyways? Is that why I hardly see you anymore?" she asked teasingly, trying to shake off her nervousness, before taking a seat in one of the chairs across from where Tess was.
"Seriously though, how have things been going for you? I see you for a few minutes at a time when I come in for my shifts, but you're always busing tables or filling in as a hostess. It's hard to get to talk with you much anymore." In a way, she was trying to postpone the inevitable, but subconsciously, Keeta was also trying to put forth a reason why her news was so long in being brought to Tess' attention. Tess frowned at the pile of paper.
"It's bills...and invoices..paperwork from local suppliers that want my business...applications from people that want to work here...charity groups that want my time and help..stuff like that."
She looked at the clock.
"Time for me to get changed for work... tell me what you wanted to talk to me about while I change."
Tess slipped behind her dressing screen and picked out something red and skimpy while waiting for Keeta to say what was on her mind."Well....first of all...." Keeta cleared her throat before continuing, her cheeks almost immediately growing red. "I wanted to tell you that I've been moonlighting on the other side of town...It's not that I didn't want to work here or anything, it's just that I needed more to occupy my time, and my mind. It was hard for me to leave Evin. I imagine it was the same way for you....I'm planning on quiting though, and have already begun to cut back my hours. Please don't hate me...." She paused, looking down and waiting for Tess' reaction. She would use it as a springboard to gauge how her other news might be received.Annata closed the door behind her as she stepped into the front door of the bar. She was breathing heavily, because she had to rush from the other side of town to get here. She took some deep breaths and called out, "'Ello?! Anyone around? Keeta? Tarotess?" She looked around the main bar she and sighed, figuring no one was about. She plopped down in a chair and starting to catch her breath. Her volunteer job was released early, due to everyone's busy schedules.Tess peeked out from behind the dressing screen while pulling her hair up into a pony tail.
"Keets...you know I could never hate you. And yes..leaving Evin was hard on me too. I put my soul into that town...and into Mystics..it broke my heart to leave there. After what happened between Flip and I..there was no way i could have stayed. It would have destroyed me....it nearly did destroy me."
Tess pulled on her skirt and came back around the dressing screen and slipped on her high heels and stared blankly at the floor.
" I should have killed that little fox b*****d..."Keeta thought she heard something in the main bar area, but when she didn't hear anything else, she disregarded it. She looked up to see Tess stepping out from behind the frame and walked over to her, offering her arms for a hug.
"Thanks...It's good to know that you're not upset. I would never mean to hurt you. You know that right?....And I have wondered from time to time, myself, why you didn't do him in." She smiled in what she hoped was a suitably joking manner.Annata's ears perked up when she heard muffled voices toward the back. She hopped up off her seat and smiled, figuring Keeta had already went back to tell Tarotess. She headed toward the office and knocked lightly on the door, "Um, 'ello? Ladies? I hope I'm not interrupting." She peeked in, a smile plastered on her face.Tess hugged Keeta tight and saw Annata come in...she smiled and waved over Keeta's shoulder. She leaned in close and whispered in her ear so Annata didn't have to hear it.
"I could have...I had the chance...I could have sucked every last piece of his soul out and left the shell behind...but then he would have been in me forever..and forever is a long time to have heartburn.."
Tess gave a low deep chuckle that was very unpleasant and then put her sweet face on for Annata.
"Hello darlin...how is my angel today?"When Keeta straightened up from hugging Tess, she looked at her with a raised eyebrow, before turning around to greet Annata. She went from one significant glance to another, trying to tell the girl with her eyes and expression, that she hadn't told Tess yet. Keeta only hoped Annata saw her expression. Just in case, she took it a step further and tried to hint at it in her greeting.
"Hi Annata, you finished early from your thing I see? You haven't missed much of anything over here though. No craziness or anything yet really." She hoped Tess would take her comments as referring to the bar patrons that would start arriving soon. "I'm great, Tess!" she still had the smile plastered to her face. "I just got done early with my volunteer work, so I decided to stop by and visit my two favorite people." She giggled and smiled over at Keeta. "Yeah, the only reason I was let off early was because everyone seemed to have something going on tonight." She leaned against a wall and yawned, stretching her arms out over her head. She spoke in a cheerful manner, "So, what are you girls up to tonight?" Tess winked at Tawni.
"Just another day at work darlin...earning money and getting in trouble!"
Tess slid on some earrings and bracelets to finish out her look..then ran her hands through her hair to bring out her headwings.
"There...do I look ridiculous enough to turn the customers on?"
Tess twirled around for her friends and her new pet landed on her head. Every since she had bought the thing from the new shop it had been stuck to her side...or whatever parts it could get a hold of. The owner,Flynn,had looked at her strangely when she had told her she felt it was like family.Tess reached up and pet the creature and looked at Keeta.
"You never did get to tell me what was on your mind dear..did you want to go into it before the evening crowd comes in?"You look great Tess! I think I would prefer telling you before we go out, yes," Keeta said, glancing over at Annata before continuing. "It kind of piggybacks on what I was telling you a moment ago. You see, in working over there, I started hanging out with a group of people that I guess you could say didn't have my best interests in mind. Anyways, they encouraged behavior that has since gotten me in to a bit of a predicament." Again she looked over at Annata, to kind of gauge how she was doing, shifting uneasily as she waited for the inevitable "what predicament?" that she knew would come from Tess. Annata shifted her weight onto one foot and crossed her arms. She nodded Tarotess and smiled. Her words were pleasant, "You do look great, Tess. Just stunning!" She smiled at her and looked to Keeta as she began her confession. She nodded toward Keeta, her bright, green eyes full of energy. As if to say that she was doing just fine and that everything was going to be just fine. Annata was glad that she had found time to escape her busy schedule. She had lied to them both and said that she was let off early. The leader of the volunteer group begged Annata to stay the rest of the evening, but Annata insisted that she had more important matters to attend. She was here to support and encourage Keeta.Tess tightened her grip on her cane and slowly raised an eyebrow at Keeta.
"Are you in trouble?...do i have to..take care of someone that is hurting you? I don't like people to cause problems for my family. We have been through enough..."
Her red eyes glowed slightly as she looked from Keeta to Tawni,trying to find a clue in their faces. Most if not nearly all of the men in the family that would have taken care of threats of this nature were either MIA or useless to anyone now. Tess had taken it upon herself to address these issues now. If she felt she couldn't take them head on...there was always other ways around that. "No...not exactly. There's no need to go after anyone. I...really wouldn't know who to go after even. This is really something that I brought on myself." Keeta let out a deep breath, collecting herself before she made the admission. She looked at Tess straight on, a unconscious plea for mercy in her eyes.
"I'm pregnant." As soon as she said it, she wanted to look away, hide her face and apologize for any let down she might be causing Tess at that moment. To Keeta it was the kind of feeling she would have had, if she'd been telling her mother, were she still alive. Despite wanting to duck her gaze, she held it firm, wanting to see every bit of Tess' reaction, good or bad.Annata listened to both Tarotess and Keeta as they spoke. She was glad that Keeta was finally here telling Tarotess, though she had expected this a little earlier on. She held Keeta in her gentle gaze as she had spoke her confession to Tarotess. Annata's face was now a emotionless, yet it hid a secret smile just for Keeta. She glanced over toward Tarotess, awaiting her reply and reaction to all of what Keeta had been saying. Tess blinked and stepped back a little like the words had physically slapped her. She had expected it to be about some jackoff that was giving Keets a hard time. At the WORST she had expected she had taken a side job that had turned sour and she would have to bribe the local authorities. This was TOTALLY unexpected. She sat down suddenly,almost missing the desk chair...staring into Keeta's eyes. Tess quietly asked...
"Who?...who is the father? I didn't know you were seeing anyone...have you told him? Are you...ok?"When Tess stepped backwards like she'd been hit, Keeta's brow crinkled and she stepped forward as if to assist her, but Tess (with a little difficulty) found her chair. Keeta maintained her distance then, not wanting to make Tess uncomfortable by being too close after giving her this news. She didn't expect to be happy about it, but she hadn't quite expected a reaction like this and it unnerved her. She answered Tess' questions as quietly as they were asked, no longer holding her gaze. An awkward silence filled the room momentarily, before Keeta spoke.
"I'm not seeing anyone...and I can't have told them as....I don't know who it is...." She paused a moment to let this sink in. "As for me, physically? I and the baby are fine as far as we can tell. Mentally and emotionally? I'm a bit unstable right now...and, even though I know it will be hard, I really need you to support me in this." At her final words, she sought out Tess' gaze again. Annata kept quiet in the background. She knew this was for Tarotess and Keeta to discuss. Annata is proud of Keeta for giving the news to Tarotess, but she wasn't exactly sure how they would both handle it. She kept her eyes on the two women in front of her, awaiting the right moment to speak.Tess mentally gave a sigh or relief. She had been afraid Keeta's unwillingness to tell her had meant that it had been rape...or that it was an unhealthy pregnancy. Tess stared into Keeta's eyes piercingly and thought of how much the woman had changed. A year ago...Keeta would have never allowed herself to get in this kind of situation. Her morals were so high,Tess had thought Keeta would never have sex. To Tess,a succubus,sex was as normal as breathing or eating. Hell...some sex WAS eating to her. Tess' head spun a little as she struggled to focus on the conversation at hand.
"Keeta...you have my support in whichever path you choose...you do know that...right? We are family...and family takes care of each other. Come hell or high water,I will see to it you get whatever you need. Do you understand?"Keeta nodded at Tess' response and her eyes began to tear. Not sad tears, but tears of relief that despite her initial reaction to the news, Tess was still going to be there for her. She had been so scared there for a moment, when her friend had backed away. Keeta approached Tess with her arms open as if asking for a hug, the tears now flowing freely, if silently.
"Thank you. I...I hope I haven't hurt or disappointed you in any way. I know this isn't something you expected of me, particularly when I saw your face a moment ago." She glanced over at Annata to see how she was reacting to the situation.Annata, her face still showing no emotion watched the two carefully. She listened as Tarotess told Keeta she'd support in which ever path she chose. Annata shifted her weight onto the opposite foot and uncrossed her arms. She offered a small smile for Keeta when she had gazed over. Annata continued to watch the two women and thought to herself. I'm happy Keeta has finally got this whole situation off her chest. She deserves so much, I just hope she ready for this.Tess hugged Keeta tight.
"Silly girl...how could you ever disappoint me? You should know me better then that. We have been through too much to ever feel that way about each other."
Tess poked her nose playfully.
"You feel well enough to work tonight? Do you need time off? Is there anything i can get you or help you with?"
Tess wondered how many people knew...or that maybe Keeta didn't want people to know about this. Not that it could be kept a secret for long... Keeta smiled. It was such a relief to see her friend react in this fashion. She didn't know what she would have done, if Tess had been angry with her, or something similar.
"Yes I'm fine to work tonight. I've been tired, but from what I understand, that's normal. I don't need any time off yet. I will before the next 6 or 7 months is up though, I expect. As for anything I need, not right now, but I'll let you know if you want. But I don't want to make other people feel like they have to help me out. This is a situation I got myself into, and I need to be responsible for it."
She took a glance over at Annata, who had been silent this whole time. Tess gave a big sigh and grabbed Keeta's hand.
"Honey...you need to get over the stubborn streak you have about people helping you. This isn't just about YOU anymore. This is about you and the mini-Keets. If you refuse help,then you refuse help for..uhh..have you picked a name yet?"
Tess was already hoping for a girl-child...but would keep this to herself.Keeta frowned slightly at Tess' words, but sighed resignedly. She knew the succubus was right. She was just too independant for her own good sometimes.
"I'm sorry. I don't meant to be stubborn. It's just part of who I am. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't want to be a burden on people. It's something I'm going to need help to unlearn." Keeta shrugged with embarassment.
"As for a name, I haven't even really begun to think about it. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet. It's really too early to tell."Annata walked over toward the two women, a smile now on her face. She wrapped her arms around them both and giggled sweetly, "Now, Keeta. That wasn't so bad, was it? Tess and I are here for you. We're here to support and aid you with anything. That's what friends are for, right?" She giggled again, the smile still pastured on her face, "Which are you hoping for? A boy or a girl? Or does it matter?"Tess chuckled and swatted Keeta with her fan.
"It's never too early to think of names...I have names I have thought of for when I might someday..well...that would require someone...well...I don't have luck with relationships..."
Not that it requires a relationship... Tess thought to herself. Being a succubus,most of her kind didn't bother with relationships. They took what that wanted or needed and left the empty shell behind,and that applied to breeding as well. Tess tilted her head and studied Keeta.
"You are part elf...am I correct? If you spend time in meditation,you may be able to tell which it is you carry...I have heard tales that elves had that ability. Mayhaps that all it is..tales..but maybe not.."
Tess played with Tawni's hair and smiled. "No, it wasn't terrible, Annata, but still....as for a boy or girl, I guess I would like a girl more. I think not having a father around, I would be able to relate to a girl better. But I've also heard boys are easier to raise...." She shrugged and looked at Tess.
"I suppose it's never to early, but on that note of me being half elf, I wonder if I should take that into consideration when naming him or her. But I also don't know what qualities the father had and whether that would impact my name choices...." Keeta trailed off a moment as she thought.
"I've never heard that about elves, myself, but then you know I wasn't raised among them and haven't learned their lore. The only elf in me is my genetics and my name. I suppose it couldn't hurt to try though." She studied her friend.
"Well if you ever wanted to try for a child of your own, this place I'm going to for my pre-natal care is primarily a fertility clinic.....Just let me know if you ever want to reach them. Would you be willing to tell us any of the names you have picked out?" Tess thought deeply about what she knew of elves,which was very little. It was mostly tales people had told while in the bar and stories she had read. They were a private people,and liked to keep it that way.
"You know Keets...might be worth your while to nose around in some of the elf communities...if you are interested in knowing more...you might even find some information on your father...if you are interested. And on the subject of a child's name...I have two girls names picked out. Cora and Faye." "Well much of that would require going back to Evin though..." she said hesitantly. I'm sure the elves there are different in many ways from any elves that are native to Gaia. Perhaps some of my long lost kin have made their way over here like I did though. It's possible." She shrugged considering it.
"I don't know if they'd be interested in knowing me though. From what I've heard, they're not always friendly to half-breeds like me."
"Those are beautiful names. I hope you get to use them someday."Tess nodded and chuckled.
"Honey,I bet if you find elves here in Gaia,methinks they are not going to be very traditional. You might find that they would be very welcoming to someone such as yourself."
Tess' smile widened.
"And if you do find any,be sure to bring them here...I would love to meet them!"
Tess let her mind wander at the thought of meeting a different race of people that she had no experience with..on any level.
I have never tasted an elf before...I wonder what they taste like?..and if they have more to give before it becomes too taxing for them...Jesus...I need to feed more often.."We'll see Tess. I have enough trying to figure out what the father contributed genetically to this child, than worrying about the half of the equation that I already know something about. But if I do meet any, I'll be sure to send them you're way." Keeta had her suspicions about what Tess had in mind for them, but she wouldn't interfere.Tess grinned like an idiot and felt that her fangs had grown out some at the thought of feeding,as they had pressed into her bottom lip.
...whoops...rope it in..I wonder if Keets saw that?
Tess didn't like Keeta to have to think about that part of her. We all have parts of us that we keep from out friends...more often then not for their own good.
"Have you thought about going back to Evin?"
Tess worked hard to keep her expression neutral. She would rather DIE then ever go back to that place of pain.Keeta had seen that, but it bothered her less than Tess thought. It was part of the nature of a succubus, just as there were certain things about herself that were part of her purely because she was born that way. She pretended not to notice for Tess' sake, however. Keeta looked back at Tess when she asked about returning to Evin.
"Not really. What would be the point? I hardly feel like I know anyone over there anymore. I doubt I would receive a warm welcome, not to mention a long sea voyage like that would probably be bad for me and the baby. But really, the ultimate thing is, I couldn't abandon you here."Annata smiled as she sat back listening to both women discuss the current topic. She glanced over toward Keeta and nodded, "No one can abandon our wonderful Tess, she's too addictive." She started to giggled and nervously rubbed the back of her head, realizing that she had been spacing off. "All I know Keeta, is that you're always welcome here, with us. Always," Annata offered her a caring smile.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:37 pm
The Other Side of Things
Part 1: Work It was a Tuesday night, and Keeta looked at herself in the mirror distastefully. She wore a black bikini style top, with fringe lining the bottom, and a "skirt" that mainly consisted of black underwear with sheer black fabric falling all the way from her waistline, to just above her feet. Her makeup was sexy and her hair styled. It even seemed to have an extra "pizazz" seeing as it was mostly brown, but the roots were blue. She had started to let her natural color come back.
Even though by most fashion standards she would be considered "HOT," she couldn't help but hate what she saw there. Especially since there was now a telltale bump beginning to appear. It was a testament to where dressing like this had gotten her. Once she had done this for the attention it had gotten her. Now she did it because there would soon be a second person to pay for. At least she could be rid of this lifestyle once and for all in a few months.
There was a loud knock at the dressing room door. "You in there, girl?!" came the voice of her manager, Rick. "Your shift starts in five minutes and some of the regulars have been asking about you. Seems with your fewer hours and people realizing there's a bun in the oven, it has made you a pretty hot commodity! Maybe you can get a few more drinks out of each of those S.O.B.'s out there."
"I'm coming," Keeta said, sighing before she opened the door to the tall, dark, curly-haired man, who already smelled of beer, despite the relatively early hour. He smiled greedily when he saw her get up.
"Not going to leave the patrons wanting tonight are we?" he asked getting closer to her. "You know, they say a woman is even more beautiful when she's pregnant."
"Lay off Rick," she said, glaring at him, before heading over to the mirror and teasing her hair a little bit. She wanted to put off going before the drunken crowd as long as possible. She couldn't change the fact that they had discovered her condition. Some of them had, considering where she worked, and hearing talk, had taken her pregnancy as a sign that she was available, without having to worry about the consequences on their part.
The man grumbled at her dismissal. There had been a time not that long ago, when she might have responded to his interest, but Keeta had changed dramatically since she had discovered her pregnancy.
"Just get out on the floor and do it now," he said, disappointment evident in his voice. "Can't make them wait too long. They'll just get more out of control. You know that." With that, he left the room. Keeta turned and looked at the empty doorway a moment, sighing. 10 minutes later, Keeta was out on the stage, a sultry smile plastered on her face and she was dancing with a couple other girls to a jazzy tune.
* * * * *
Part 2: "Friends"
It had been a while since Keeta had hung out with her friends away from the Casbah. They hadn't really called much, since she had made her confession a month and a half before. Truthfully, Keeta hadn't been all that disappointed, as she had begun to realize that this group of people that she so frivously called her friends, maybe didn't have her best interests at heart. They hadn't forgotten her entirely thoug, as Sandy had called a couple nights back to see when Keeta next had a free evening and they settled on Wednesday night.
She met up with a few of the girls and their choice of escorts for the evening at one of the local bars. Cigarette smoke was evident as soon as she entered. Keeta wondered if the temporary exposure would be bad for the baby, but stepped into the bar regardless. At least she knew she wouldn't be smoking. Sandy greeted her with a raised eyebrow as she sighted Keeta's bump.
"Still haven't taken care of that have you?" she asked, seemingly annoyed, but waved Keeta to the table where the rest of them were sitting, all of them with something alcoholic in their hands. "I brought someone for you, but I'm afraid he doesn't know about your baggage. I'll leave you to tell him about that." Sandy was about to walk away, when Keeta grabbed her arm, and started speaking in a harsh whisper.
"Why did you do that? I didn't ask for you to bring me someone. I'm not like that anymore. I'm not going to 'take care of it' as you said. I've got things I'm responsible for now. " Sandy stared at her for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly, before pulling her arm free.
"What? Can't have fun anymore?" she asked sarcastically. "I went to all the trouble to get a guy for you and you won't even say hello? He's over there." Before Keeta could protest, Sandy waved her towards a medium built blond, with glasses. He flashed a grin at Keeta and patted the seat next to him invitingly. The blond was also looking her over, with a clearly interested expression. She was only hoping he wouldn't notice. Keeta looked over towards Sandy, hoping to find out a bit more about this guy, but the woman had already turned her attentions to her own man. Tentatively, Keeta headed over to the offered seat.
"Hi..." she said, feeling awkward. It wasn't like her to act shy amoung this group of friends, but circumstances had changed, and so had she. She also hadn't planned on entertaining anyone tonight. "I'm Keeta, and you are?"
"Bryan," he said, flashing a grin that was clearly supposed to win her over. It didn't like it might have a few months back, but Sandy hadn't done a bad job of picking someone. Keeta knew that while he thought she was what he wanted, she wasn't, and she didn't much care for the prospect of bursting his bubble.
"Now that we're all here," Amanda's voice (another of the girls in the group) interuppted her thoughts, "we need to have some serious fun! Anyone have any ideas?" Keeta shrunk in her seat. Whatever it was, it would probably be something she shouldn't be doing. Bryan piped up from next to her, eyeing her mischeviously.
"How about some good old fashioned 'Truth or Dare' or 'Never Have I Ever?' Of course we'd make it more interesting by adding shots into the mix." He winked at Keeta, who started to shake her head.
"Well I'm not playing then, unless you'll let me shoot something without alcohol." Variations on spoil sport and 'fraidy cat could be heard across the table. Not everyone knew she was pregnant, and those who did, clearly didn't care, as these were the same friends who had told her to end the pregnancy when they first heard about it.
"Where's the fun in that? What's wrong with a few shots?" Bryan asked, a night of what would happen with alcohol mixed in, clearly on his mind.
"I just shouldn't be drinking right now."
"Aww....come on," he continued, and put a hand on her leg. "Let's have some fun. If it's driving home you're worried about, we can always get a cab."
"No!" she said, promptly removing his hand. At the outburst, they received several looks from people around the table. Bryan looked around and tried to smile at them, to say everything was ok, before leaning in towards Keeta and speaking in a whisper.
"What is the problem here? Sandy over there told me you were up for this kind of stuff! That's why I came. You sounded like you'd be a lot of fun!" He looked annoyed, but Keeta pushed him away anyways.
"Well apparently you were misinformed," she said curtly, turning away. Bryan was speechless for a moment before getting up and walking away, clearly angry. Keeta didn't turn to watch whether he had just gone somewhere else in the bar or if he left altogether. Frankly, she didn't care. Several people looked down the table at her.
"What did you do?!" Sandy asked, indignant.
"He was pressuring me to do things I wasn't interested in. He told me that you had told him to expect certain things of me."
"Well can you blame me? You've always been like that before! It's like you're a completely different person lately." Sandy had pulled her aside at this point so the whole table wouldn't be in on their heated discussion.
"Aside from the fact that you shouldn't be telling people what I will and will not do, you know that I'm pregnant! I can't be doing the same kinds of things that I used to! I think you know that drinking or using would be dangerous."
"Why does it matter so much? It's not even a baby yet! I can't understand why you're sacrificing all these good times for that b*****d in your stomach!"
Keeta stood there, stunned silent for a moment before raising her hand and slapping Sandy across the face. Sandy touched the spot where she had been slapped, gingerly, before turning to glare at Keeta, whose eyes were now brimmed with tears. There was no hiding the spectacle from the others at the table now. They were all staring at the two woman, a couple of them beginning to appear angry in Sandy's defense. With one look at all the people around her, Keeta turned and ran out of the bar, and didn't look back. No one came after her, but she didn't really expect them to.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:41 pm
Ceres was fully rounded, but not her fully potential roundness just yet. Her persistent craving of 3 months for a hot dog with maple syrup had brought her out once more. The maple syrup being a sweet treat she tried not to eat more than four a day unless she promised herself to eat a healthy apple or four... She didn't want to feel guilty because of her eating habits after all.
Sky snorted shaking his head. He couldn't help but laugh at Ceres. She was kid like when there was candy present. He held her hand as they stood in line to purchase this hot dog. He was constantly looking around to keep her informed. After all, he was her only eyes.
Keeta was out, having just left the clinic, to make her next appointment. She could have called, she supposed, but she still didn't really like the phone, so she had chosen to walk there. She had planned to just head to work at the Casbah a little early, from the clinic, and see if there was anyone around to hang out with. Her immediate intentions, however, were interrupted when her stomach growled. Before her pregnancy, Keeta's eating habits had been pretty regular, so this whole eating for two thing was something that was taking getting used to.
She rubbed the smallish bump that was starting to show at her waistline, as she looked around for a place to eat. She soon noticed there was a small cafe across the street. Maybe there she could find something there that would tide her over until she could get something more substantial (and cheaper) at the Casbah. Keeta hoped the cafe would have something that followed Dr. London's nutrition guidelines, which she had been following very closely. She reached the cafe and stepped into line, scanning the menu as she waited for her turn to order.
Ceres had her eyes closed as she took a bite into the hot dog. Syrup dripping down her chin. Not a care in the world. She spun around, and took a couple steps forward. She wasn't paying any attention to anyone, just her hot dog. Internally she had hoped that Sky was looking out for her like he always did.
Sky, however, wasn't quick enough. Despite slipping his arms around Ceres' waist to stop her, since her arms were occupied, they made contact with another lady, and from the looks of it a pregnant one. He cursed himself despite it only being a minor bump of arms.
Ceres suddenly opened her eyes, not even aware yet of were Sky's hands were. Her cheeks were flush with embarrassment. She found a napkin to wipe her hands off before extending her hand. "I'm so, so sorry. When I get these cravings its like the world stops once I do get to eat it." She felt she owned an excuse as well.
Keeta hadn't seen the other woman either, because she was intent on studying the menu. She had been trying to decide between their fresh fruit salad and a chocolate covered banana. The salad would be healthier, but chocolate sounded so good....
Her gaze turned from the menu board, however, when someone else bumped against her and immediately began to apologize. Keeta started to tell the other woman and her escort not to worry about it, when she got a good look at their faces. They seemed familiar....and then Keeta noticed the bump on the woman's lower abdomen that was very similar to her own.
"No, no, it's ok. Have I seen you somewhere before? Were you maybe at the GMFC several weeks ago? I'm not trying to be presumptious, but it seems we are in a similar condition."
Ceres' turned brilliant red when she felt Sky slide his arms away from her. It had just occurred to her how close she had been to him. It was warm, and welcoming... But, suddenly just incredibly wrong. "Sky!"
Sky looked innocent as ever. He hadn't had any intentions at all other than to try and stop her from bumping into someone else.
"Yes, yes... I do believe we've met before, but only in brief passing." Ceres' said frantically as she readjusted her attention. Finally she smiled, and briefly she motioned at her belly. "It does appear that we are in the same boat. Though, I wish someone would give me a paddle." She chuckled. "I've got the rearing part down, it is this that I am not familiar with."
Keeta looked at the pair in slight confusion when the woman reacted to her escort's touch. It was clear she wasn't appreciative of it, but Keeta had seen nothing wrong with his gesture. She could see that he had simply been trying to keep her from bumping into Keeta.
"Well you've got more down than me down I'm afraid. I haven't done any of this before. I'm Keeta, by the way," she said, extending her hand to the woman and then the man, who still hadn't spoken.
Ceres double checked her hand, and then finally shook Keeta's hand. "I'm Ceres, and this is Sky." She said as her gaze drifted away from the direct attention to the other person. But, when you watched the pair together it was nearly uncanny how both Ceres' and Sky's eyes moved near in rhythm. With his help she was taking in their surroundings again before she settled once more on Keeta.
Sky felt a little awkward as he stood there. He could see the expression on the womans face, and that was why he had draw Ceres' attention else where. What a mess he thought.
Ceres' could sense the tension in Sky. She smiled nervously. "He is still learning to speak human, but he can fully understand you. And, I cannot see unless it is through someone else's eyes." Here went the mood swings. She rubbed her arm nervously. Where had her confidence gone.
"Nice to meet you," Keeta said in response to Ceres' introductions. She continued to be a little confused again as Ceres' and Sky's gazes moved away from her momentarily, and then returned, as if in unison. Then Ceres began to explain, and things began to make more sense. She sensed the woman suddenly become a bit uncomfortable.
"Would you like to sit down and chat more?" she asked, trying to break the tension. "I have some time to kill before work. I hope you don't mind if I get something to eat first?" she asked, indicating the counter where they were taking orders.
Ceres eased up and smiled. "Sure thing. And, I could go for another hot dog..." She stopped mid sentence when she felt Sky squeeze her hand. "Erm. Healthy." She sighed.
"I'll go grab us a table." Ceres said and motioned towards one near a window once Sky looked that direction. "It is a very lovely day." She said while she paid attention to Sky rummaging through the sack of 'goodies'.
Keeta nodded and moved up to the counter where the clerk was waiting for her. If she wasn't going to head over to the Casbah right away, she needed to get something more substantial. She decided to get a turkey sandwich, but still gave into her craving for chocolate, getting the chocolate covered banana as well. After several minutes, she headed over to the table where Ceres and Sky had settled themselves. She smiled as she put down her tray and got herself settled.
"So how are you two today?"
"Busy..." Ceres chuckled. "Never a dull moment, and for my age it gets exhausting." She held up her hand. "Lets see: teaching Sky, keeping up with one kid who never grow up, 6 other kids who always want my attention, and then there is the island... It's a juggling act. I'm surprised there are enough hours in the day."
"Even if it is just flutters I can feel the baby move. It is very fascinating. I find myself stopping in what I am doing just to enjoy it. It never lasts long." Ceres grinned a little. "She's got me acting like a teen all over again... And, how are you doing?" She asked as she took time to enjoy the banana that Sky had retrieved from the bag.
"Your age?" Keeta asked. She was confused. Ceres didn't look like she could be any older than herself. And on the same note, how did she have so many children then?
"Sounds like you have your hands full. I don't know if I could manage all that. I barely seem to manage myself well these days, it seems." Keeta couldn't imagine taking on all that responsibility. But then again, she knew that the baby that was growing would be a major responsibilty. She just hoped she would be ready for it.
"I'm ok I guess," Keeta said non-committally, before taking a bite of her sandwich to make it more difficult to answer any follow-up questions. While most people seemed to be accepting of her situation, she still didn't like to admit that this was a situation she had not chosen to get into. It would be even harder to explain her lack of enthusiasm to a fellow mother-to-be. She now had a better idea of how Sadoko felt, whether she realized it or not.
Ceres proudly placed her fingertips on her chest and tilted her head upwards. It was her childish streak showing through. These hormones had given her many streaks. "Sky and myself are four hundred and fifty years old." She chuckled.
"I manage because it is what I was born to do, and what I have to do." Ceres placed that same hand on Keeta's hand. "You'll manage just fine. After all children are born to save us from ourselves even at times we don't really know we need saving." She smiled.
Keeta about sputtered into her water when Ceres revealed her age. Sure, as a half-elf Keeta knew she looked young for her age, maybe 5-10 years, but Ceres and Sky still looked as if they were in their early 20's but were approximately 15 times her age. It was hard to believe, but stranger things had happened in this world of theirs. All Keeta could do was shake her head in amazement.
"What made you decide to have a baby now?" Keeta asked. Then she began to think about Ceres' other comment. After all children are born to save us from ourselves even at times we don't really know we need saving. Maybe that was true for her, after having watched her "friends" the other night, she knew that was a lifestyle that would have just kept leading her further and further down a dark path. Really it was the baby that had caused her take a step back and reevaluate.
Ceres momentarily looked at Sky when she felt his hand over hers. "I, as every generation before me, am not meant to live this age. We are meant to grow into maturity and have a baby. Once the baby is grown into maturity the mother dies. It is the way of the island maidens."
Ceres took a deep breath, knowing how grim this tail was. "All the maidens seduce their men. They are untraceable back to the island... So there isn't any complications with how things are done." She gave a small laugh.
"But you see my mother was different. She allowed herself to fall in love." Ceres sighed softly. "She taught me how kind men could be, and not the scary tails of past generations... Such as rape."
Ceres closed her eye as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her fingers caressed the fruit in her hand. "My mother is imprisoned on the island, and that is another story. And, because of that she could not stand the thought of my death. Thus she taught me that I shouldn't allow myself to fall in love, or to seduce a man. That I should never allow myself to get pregnant."
Ceres leaned against Sky. "Through trickery she gave me Sky a cute little Pegasus at the time to occupy me. But when he wasn't enough she gave me Perian, a centaur... But, I wanted more. I was empty. Thus I adopted children." She opened her eyes, and smiled. "My mother recently told me that she was selfish, and that it was time to accomplish what I was born to do... I do not know if I will live or die when she is of age, but regardless I am at peace."
Keeta listened silently to Ceres' story. It was quite a remarkable one, but she couldn't help but internally reflect on how strikingly different it was from her own. There was selflessness and modesty involved in Ceres' story, whereas Keeta's was really all about selfishness. And even knowing she could die because of this child, the blond-haired woman was content, yet Keeta was filled with turmoil regarding this pregnancy when there was no such threat to her well being, that she knew of.
"I wish I could say I had the kind of strength to make a choice like that. I'm happy for you though, that you weren't forced to take actions similar to that of your ancestors."
"Children give us an endless supply of strength... And, they'll test it out to." Ceres' chuckled. "Have faith in your ability to be a mother, and everything will fall into place."
"I'm a virgin..." Pink snaked itself onto Ceres' cheeks. "I was to scared to try and make a baby the natural way." She giggled a little. "But, for some strange reason we find ourselves getting a little to close for my comfort." She lowered her voice, and whispered. "He even wants to sleep in the same bed with me... But, not for sex."
Sky looked away with intimidate embarrassment.
A 450 year old virgin? Keeta couldn't help but thinking. And I thought it was impressive for me to keep it until my later 20's. Yeesh.
"Well....you'll never know where life'll take you. I've learned that much. At least you guys can share the child, even if you're not ready for other things." Keeta wanted to open up after Ceres had been candid with her. She wanted to tell her how she envied her the relationship she had with Sky, and the fact that he would be here for her and the child. She lapsed into silence though and the opportunity passed her by.
"Sky is fascinated with this baby. It isn't his first, but he says it will be his last..." Ceres twirled her finger in some stray strands of hair. "He is amazed when I show him the different stages the baby is going through as it grows inside me. When it comes to mares... He's never gotten that insight before." She smile peacefully.
"Keeta... I hope you aren't silent on my behalf. Then again maybe it would be because then it means that your troubles are great." Ceres' again touched the ladies arm. "If you want to talk I'll not judge you. Better to let it out, than keep it in. Whatever it is will eventually eat you alive."
Keeta smiled a little at the thought of Sky being in wonderment, in regards to the development of the baby. She was much the same way. The diagrams of the development and the like were all new to her.
"I never had that insight either Sky." She said, looking at him, trying to be friendly. "In Evin people never even dreamed of being able to see the baby before it was born." She grew sober again at Ceres' comment, and decided to say what she had been thinking a moment before.
"I envy you guys. Your commitment to each other and the child, despite the fact that you aren't necessarily 'together.' You don't expect anything from one another. You guys just are as you are."
"There is nothing to envy Keeta when it comes to Sky and myself. We've been like this since we first bumped noises." Ceres grinned as she pulled out a joke from the back of her mind. She had hoped to make Keeta feel better. "I was knee high to a grass hoper back then."
"If there is anything to be envious of, then let me be envious of Sky's selfless act of love and loyalty towards me." Ceres squeezed Sky's hand. "He allowed himself to be given the ability to shift from Pegasus to Human. And, he's learning to be content." She was in a way showing her praise, and appreciation to Sky.
"See ... Keeta if you think about it there is something we can all be envious of, but only if it lets us consume ourselves does it become harmful. It is human to want what we do not have." Ceres' smiled. "You carry a child. That child depends on you. Now you haven't said how it came about, but your actions do speak volumes. You are scared and nervous, but should be proud of yourself you are bringing life into this world. That is something that most, even the most selfless person, would do."
"I'm just not proud of how it came about is all. I was being selfish and irresponsible. I don't know if I'm ready to raise a child, let alone by myself." Keeta shrugged. To her, there wasn't much else to say on the matter, unless she was going to go into an uncomfortable level of detail.
Ceres took her bag from Sky with a disappointed sigh. She began to sift through the contents without even looking. She'd know what it was she was looking for when she found it.
Ceres knew that Keeta was a strong woman. It was just finding a way to make her believe in herself. There it was... She pulled it from her bag. She held up her mirror.
"Keeta... What do you see?" Ceres' smiled. "Because I can tell you what Sky, and myself see is a strong, confident, glowing young woman. I don't see your imperfections, and neither does this child. This child sees its mother for being its hero. You are after all the reason the child will come into this world." She paused for a moment. "See..." She held the mirror steady.
Keeta took the mirror gently from Ceres' hands and considered her reflection for a moment. Was it true what Ceres said? That she was a "strong, confident, glowing young woman"? That she was a "hero" to her unborn child? Keeta didn't really see it, not yet. The face she saw was scared and tired. But knowing that someone else saw something different in her gave her some hope, even if they were just saying it. She hoped they weren't just saying it though. She needed that hope.
The girl gave the mirror back to Ceres, a small smile on her face. She hoped the other woman took it as Keeta taking those words to heart. She wasn't there yet, but she would remember it at least. Maybe remembering them later would help her when she was feeling particularly down.
"Thank you Ceres."
"My Pleasure." Ceres smiled. "All new mothers can use a bit of confidence..." She gave a short lived, good natured laugh. "Or, so that is what the creatures and things of the island tell me."
Ceres' put the mirror away. "There isn't a day that goes by that my children, Sky, or some part of the island isn't complimenting me, giving me confidence." She took a bite of the fruit. She was only eating to eat. "You just need a good support team. Sky and myself are a good start, and I'm sure you've got a few true friends and family. And we'll be here through the finish, and onto raising children. If you ever need anything even to hear how beautiful you are we are here."
Well I appreciate that. And I'm here as well, if you need something. I...can't promise I can provide it, but I'll do my best." She offered a small laugh as well, doing her best to keep smiling.
Ceres couldn't know how close to home she had hit with the friends and family comment. Her friends at the Casbah were about all she had now, and only a couple of them knew. It wouldn't be very long before the rest of them figured it out though. She'd give it three weeks, tops. As for the rest of her "friends" after last week, she had pretty much written them off. They didn't care enough to support her in her predicament, and continued to encourage an unhealthy lifestyle for her, despite it.
Keeta glanced down at her watch. It was time to start heading over to work, if she didn't want to risk being late. She started to wrap up her sandwich. Maybe she could finish the rest on her break. She looked back at Ceres and Sky.
"Well, I'm afraid I need to be heading out. I don't want to be late for my shift. Maybe we can do this again sometime. I know it was impromptu, but I think it was good." She got out a pen and scribbled something on a napkin. "Here's my address. I don't like using the phone or the computer much, so coming over is the best way to reach me."
"Mind if I just spare myself the extra steps and just pop on in through your bathroom mirror." Ceres chuckled as she took the paper with the address, and tucked it into her bag. "I used this places bathroom today... I wonder what someone will say when they catch me someday..."
"Oh speaking of which. If you ever need me... just tap the nearest mirror." Ceres said as Sky shouldered the bag. "It is how I travel. Mirrors... As long as mine never shatters." She could tell that Keeta was more at peace than when they'd first sat down. She was glad.
"And, I was about to say that I needed to get back. I cannot leave the island but for a couple of hours at a time. Even then it takes a bit to regain my strength. More so since I am pregnant." As Ceres stood up she extended her hand. "It has been a pleasure Keeta!"
"Umm...I guess not. So long as you can somehow determine whether the room is being used or not, " Keeta replied in response to the question about her bathroom mirror. Traveling by mirrors, huh? That was a new one for her. If she could do that, then she could go visit Evin whenever she felt like. But it sounded as though Ceres' ability to travel that way came at a price. She was bound to the island she lived on. Nothing good came for free.
Keeta shook the offered hand, and turned to offer hers to Sky afterwards. "I won't keep you guys then. Rest up and I hope to see you guys again soon!"
Sky shook Keeta's hand as he smile warmly. It was a smile that said he'd like to meet again. With that he took Ceres' hand. and lead the way.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:43 pm
17 weeks along
Diary,
It's been an interesting few weeks. I've been in my second trimester for a few weeks now. I'm starting to show a bit, and I've been getting some looks. I think some of the people at the Casbah that I haven't told yet, are figuring it out. I got some books that I've been reading to help me understand what is happening to me and how the baby is growing. I've been doing pretty well going through them. I should write in you more often though, because they say it's a good way to keep track of the baby, and a way to remember things during the pregnancy. I'll try and work on that.
I had a falling out with my other "friends" a couple weeks back. They were pressuring me to continue to live the way I had, which would not be good for the baby. I...slapped Sandy because of something she said. I haven't heard from any of them since. I guess it's for the better, but I still long for someone to help me through this. I mean, Tess and them are wonderful, as well as some of the new people I've met through the GMFC, but it's not the same as having someone there that is truly sharing this experience with you. Oh well. I'll make it.
Someone I met told me that she thinks I am strong, confident, and something else positive that I can't remember off the top of my head. It was clear she wanted me to see that in myself, but I'm afraid I can't see it yet. Maybe that's a part of me that's still waiting to emerge. Let's hope so. I'm going to need all the strength and confidence I can get. While the pregnancy is certainly trying, it's not going to be over when the baby's born. It's just going to be a different kind of trial.
I have another appointment in a couple weeks. I wonder if I'll find out anything that I was wondering about the baby. The books say that if I get an... ultrasound (I think that's right) that I can see the baby and by this time, whether it's a boy or a girl and other things like that. Here's hoping.
-Keeta
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:49 am
In Black and White
Keeta showed up for her ultrasound appointment on what must have been a slow day, because there was no one else in the waiting room, and she was being ushered into the back within five minutes of her arrival. While being seen sooner was nice, she was still in for a disappointment.
"Dr. London will be unavailable to see you today, as she had to go out of town unexpectedly, so it will just be you and our ultrasound technician today," the nurse said as she led her to the station where the vitals were taken. Keeta was a little annoyed, but she dealt with it.
Better to have someone else take a look at my baby than no one at all, I suppose, she thought as she sat through the thermometer and blood pressure cuff readings, both of which were becoming decidedly more familiar. When the nurse was finished taking all the required readings, with a declaration that everything was "normal," she finally led Keeta down the hallways, to the exam room. There, the half-elf was greeted with another piece of unfamiliar equipment. Before she could turn around and ask the nurse about it, however, she was already alone in the room. Sighing, Keeta sat down on the exam table and waited for the ultrasound technician.
She didn't have long to wait, however. Several minutes later a petite woman with dark hair, wrapped into a bun, and glasses entered the room with a chart in her hands. She looked at Keeta over her glasses, a small smile on her face.
"Keeta Harding?" she asked, glancing from the chart back to the woman on the exam table. "And you're in here for just a general check up ultrasound, is that correct?"
"Well, yes, I think so," Keeta replied. "I'm not very good with the medical terms you use here, but I believe that's what my appointment was for. To see the baby and check on it's progress?" she asked, trying to get clarification.
"That's right," the other woman nodded. "And to find out the gender of your child, if you wish."
"Ummm.... well I think I'll save that knowledge for later. Right now all I'm really concerned about is seeing whether the baby is healthy and any....unusual features it might have."
At the last part of Keeta's words, the technician raised an eyebrow slightly, but kept her council. "Of course. And you can always find out the gender later if you change your mind. Let's get started, shall we? Can I have you lie back on the table for me?" Keeta complied and looked over, as the woman turned on the machine she had noticed when entering the room. It had a computer screen on it, with a keyboard and mouse, and another attachment that she didn't recognize.
"So this is the thing that takes the pictures?" she asked, pointing at the machine. Again the woman nodded.
"What'll happen is first you'll lift up your shirt, to expose your belly," she made a motion indicating that Keeta should do just that, "then we put gel from this container on it, and move this thing around and it's what takes the pictures." At this, she picked up the unknown attachment.
"It basically sends sound waves into your uterus, which then bounce off the baby and come back and from that, it can generate a picture."
"Oh," was all Keeta had to say before lifting up her shirt to reveal her rounded belly, as requested, an apprehensive expression on her face.
With a reassuring smile, the ultrasound tech, took the bottle of gel and squitred some onto Keeta's exposed belly. It was colder than Keeta had expected, and he had an urge to try and wipe it off, but she restrained herself. She watched as the other woman took the attachment and brought it over to her belly.
"Watch the screen now," she said, pointing with her free hand at the black and white monitor. The tech used the instrument to spread around the gel a little, before pressing it a little more firmly against the rounded bulge of Keeta's belly. There were flashes of shapes on the screen almost instantaneously. At first it looked like nothing in particular, but then....
"There it is! I see it!" Keeta exclaimed, right before the tech could open her mouth to point it out. With a smile, she continued moving the device around, so Keeta could see the baby from other viewpoints, concentrating on the feet, head and hands, but also pointing out the heartbeat and taking the appropriate measurements as she worked. Keeta's eyes were glued to the screen the entire time.
"Everything looks healthy as far as I can tell. The baby is growing as it should, and as far as I can tell has two arms, two legs, etc. Have you changed your mind, or would you still rather wait on knowing the gender of the baby?" the tech asked, after she had finished taking all the measurements she needed. It took Keeta a moment to snap out of staring at the screen.
"Oh, um...I think I'll stick with my original decision. I'll wait." The tech nodded and hung up the attachment before turning off the screen, causing the image to disappear. Keeta's heart sunk a little when the baby was gone from her sights. Whether she had expected this pregnancy or not, she was growing more and more attached to the child growing in her womb. With a sigh, she pulled her shirt back over her bump, when the tech had removed the gel, and sat up on the table.
"Well thank you for allowing me that opportunity. It's certainly something I will never forget," Keeta said turning to the other woman, a small smile on her face.
"I'm glad I could do that for you. It's always nice to see when the mother really enjoys it. Here." The tech reached under the machine, where there apparently was a printer, because when she removed her hand, in it was a photograph of the baby, which she handed to Keeta.
"This is for me?" Keeta asked, her eyes opening wide. Little did she know most women who got ultrasounds ended up leaving with a memento similar to this. The ultrasound tech smiled and nodded, slightly amused at the reaction her routine gift had created.
"Keep it, frame it, hang it on your fridge, show it off, whatever. It's yours to do with as you wish." Keeta smiled and glanced back down at the photo, which contained the baby in profile.
"Thank you very much," she said, before carefully tucking the photo into her purse. Keeta shook the woman's hand and headed out the door. A few moments later, she had checked out with the receptionist and was on her way home.
An hour later, Keeta was standing in front of her refrigerator, gently rubbing her protruding belly, as she looked at the black and white photo held there by a magnet.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:52 am
The Hunt Begins
Hidden guild RP
Keeta was headed down the street to Annata's place. At almost 5 months pregnant, she was showing much more and had started to need to alter her wardrobe to compensate for it. For the moment, however, she was making do with what she had, but hoped to change that today. She and Annata were planning on going on a shopping trip to get some new clothes and maybe start to look at some things for the baby's room.
She finally reached Annata's place and rang the doorbell. While she waited for the door to be answered, she leaned against the wall and gently put her hand on her belly. This was starting to become a habit for her, as her back and feet had started to feel the pressure of the added weight. As she held her hand there, she thought she felt a bit of movement. She had been suspecting the last few days that she was finally beginning to feel the baby move, and it was kind of exciting.Annata arched an eyebrow and looked up from the painting she had been working on. It was in it's finally stages of completion, though it should have been done two hours ago. The organizer of the volunteer group, that Annata had been involved in for months, had begged her to create a few pieces of artwork to help with the auction that was dated for next week. Annata set down her brush and wiped her hands on her apron. She let a small smile take it's place on gentle face as she headed toward the door. She reached the door and took a breath, trying to calm herself down. This past month had been overly stressful and she felt as if she were going insane. She shifted her green up and looked directly at the door, she had found her resolve. "Keeta, is that you?" she asked joyfully as she opened the door. "Yeah, hi," she said, giving a smile and a little wave at the girl when she opened the door. Keeta pushed herself off the wall and faced Annata fully, taking a step towards the door.
"You in the middle of something?" Keeta asked, looking at Annata's paint covered apron, a hint of concern in her expression. "I thought we were going shopping today, but...if you're too busy, we can do it another time?" "Oh gosh no," Annata giggled and began untying her apron. "I just got finished with everything I was doing." After slipping the apron off, she hung it up on the coat rack. She peered back out the door and smiled kindly at Keeta, "I did remember you know. I just lost track of time. That's all. Give me a second, will ya'?" Annata held one finger up to Keeta, as if to say she'll be right back. Entering the sitting room, she pushed the easel that held her painting away from the window. She never liked bystanders viewing her art, but she enjoyed painting in natural light. She snatched her light jacket up off the couch and slipped it on. Annata returned to the front door and smiled at Keeta and grabbed her bag off the coat rack, "Are you ready? Do you need anything to eat or drink before we go?" "OK, I just thought I'd check. Things happen, and I didn't know if you'd tried to call or something. You know how I am about the phone." The half-elf girl made a face as she pushed a strand of hair out of the way. Her roots were grown out a couple of inches now, showing her natural blue shade behind the dyed brown. She'd thought about dyeing it brown again, or dyeing it her natural blue color, but she couldn't find any in her shade. There wasn't too many people who ran around with natural blue hair. She had decided to just let her roots grow out, even though she knew the color combination had to look odd to some.
When Annata was ready and asked her whether she needed anything, Keeta shook her head and patted the bag that was slung over her shoulder. "I've got everything I need right here. I've taken to carrying around food and drink, as I seem to need it at such random times lately." She glanced back at the apartment as they headed out.
"What was that you were working on?"Annata nodded and closed the door as she looked down at the bag Keeta was carrying. She smiled and followed Keeta, "Um, well. It's just some paintings, to be perfectly honest with you." She adjusted her bag and rubbed the back of her head. "I've been asked to come up with some artwork for an auction that is just around the corner. We've been brainstorming different ideas on how to fund raise for our revitalization project. When I took up this job, I didn't know it was going to be so exhausting." Annata giggled and looked over toward Keeta. "I'm sure this isn't as exhausting as being pregnant though, maybe I should stop ranting." "Any way I can help? I've been cutting back my hours, so I have more free time on my hands. And you know, I was really tired when I started out, but I'm feeling pretty good for the time being. The only time I'm having trouble lately is when I'm not getting enough sleep. I suspect some of that is due to the fact that I'm starting to feel him or her moving around a bit." Keeta shrugged.
"So...you want to go clothes shopping first? Or I thought we might have a look at some cribs and baby stuff, or maybe some painting supplies? I don't want the baby to deal with white walls 24/7. Doesn't do much for stimulating the mind." "Hm," she started to ponder, tapping her finger on her chin. "Well, I'm not sure on where to start. How about we go get some new clothes for you. That's what you need right? I'd hate being uncomfortable when your clothes don't fit." She smiled and continued walking. "Then we should probably go get some painting supplies and pick out the colors you want. Then you'll be able to pick out a crib and get a theme going." Keeta nodded.
"I think starting with the clothes makes the most sense as well. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that. As for the paints and stuff, I don't think I'll do any buying today. I just kind of want to see what's out there, so I can shop around and whatnot. I should have another four months or so, before it has to be ready, so I can take my time a bit. There's a maternity clothing store downtown that I thought would be nice to check out. Mind if we get a cab, instead of walking the whole way? Normally it'd be fine, but I don't know if my feet can take it, especially with all the walking we're going to end up doing while we're shopping." Annata smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I think today will be a nice day to brainstorm on your baby's room and to grab you some comfy clothes." Annata stepped partially off the curb waving her arms and whistling, attempting to hail a nearby cab. The cab slowed down and pulled up next to the two women, "Alright Keeta, hop in!" Annata grinned and pulled the back door open, motioning for Keeta to get in. Keeta hopped in after Annata, feeling foreign in the car. She tried to avoid riding in them when possible, but she knew she would be worth nothing later on, if she had to walk all the way downtown and back. She leaned towards the driver.
"Madison and 8th St." she said, before settling back and buckling herself in, being careful that the strap went under her bulge. In 15 minutes or so, after going though some traffic, they arrived at their destination. She leaned forward once again and paid the driver, giving him a decent tip despite how much she had hated the ride there. It wasn't the driver's fault.
Keeta was relieved to get out of the car, but she still turned and offered her hand to Annata to help the other girl onto the sidewalk.Annata took Keeta's hand and hopped out on the the sidewalk, closing the cab door behind her. She smiled at Keeta and pointed at the maternity clothing store. "Well, I can't wait to help you find some adorable pieces of clothing!" she started to giggle, gently pulling Keeta behind her. She pushed open the door and announced, with her arms in the air, "We're here, make way for the extreme duo!" Annata pointed to herself and then stepped aside. She had a huge grin on her face as she pointed at Keeta. Her eyes shifted over toward Keeta, waiting to see if she'd be embarrassed or not."Annata!" Keeta said in a harsh whisper, blushing furiously, but trying to smile as though everything was normal, at the people who looked their way. She tried to put the other woman's pointing finger down, and pull her behind a rack of clothing so fewer people could stare at them.
"What was that for?" she asked. Keeta wasn't mad, really, just embarrassed and confused. Annata giggled fiercely, but she tried to calm herself down. She gripped her stomach and covered her mouth with the other hand. She gasped for air and slowly stopped her laughter, "Ha-haha! Oh Keeta, I'm sorry! I just couldn't help myself. Did you see the looks we got? It was priceless!" She snorted and began laughing again. "I hope you're not mad at me, dear Keeta!" She leaned up onto her tiptoes and peeked up over the rack of clothing. It felt good to be able to get out of the house and enjoy herself. All of the stress that had been building up over the past month was driving her mad. She shifted her green eyes over toward Keeta, while still remaining on her tiptoes."No, I'm not mad. It was just embarrassing is all," Keeta said with a sigh. She was still smiling though. Part of her could see that Annata had needed to do something like that. To be crazy and spontaneous. She let Annata look over the clothing rack for a moment or two, before tugging on her shirt lightly to get her to turn around.
"Let's see if we can't find anything good in this section since we're already over here, ok?" She hoped that the hunt for clothing an for baby things would be enough of the kind of distraction that Annata apparently needed.Annata giggled once more before nodding. She leaned back off her tiptoes and began browsing through the maternity clothes. She had a smile on her face as her eyes scanned the material laying in her delicate hands. Blinking she looked over toward Keeta, holding a beautifully, flowing shirt. The print reminded Annata of a warm spring day, "How about something like this. I think it would look adorable on you. Not that you're not adorable already, it'd just add to your cuteness!" Annata giggled while scrunching up her nose. "Works for me," Keeta said with a smile. "That's why I wanted to bring someone along, so they could help me choose. Hold on a sec." She turned around and headed back towards the entrance getting a shopping cart. Keeta couldn't help but peek over her shoulder to see if anyone was staring at her from the moment before, but to her relief no one was. It seems the incident had been forgotten as quickly as it had happened. She got back to Annata with the cart.
"Here, now we can get different sizes and styles and whatnot, and not have to worry about weighing our arms down." Annata watched as Keeta brought back a shopping cart. She smiled and set the shirt she had grabbed inside. "So Keeta," she started as she turned her body back toward the clothing rack, her eyes however, were still on the half elf. "Has the baby started to kick? Has she or he started to move at all?" Annata's eyes were full of curiosity and wonder. The usual expression that she had, plastered on her face."Well I think I've started to feel it move in the past week or so, but it's kind of hard to tell. It's still so tiny relatively speaking, even though my belly is starting to get big! It's exciting in a way though. I'm still scared and unsure about where my life is going to go because of this, but a part of me can't help but be in wonder in regards to what's happening to me." Keeta smiled a little before looking at the shirts on the rack next to her. She picked out a loose fitting, blue, crinkly top with a V neck.
"What do you think of this one?"Annata smiled at the shirt and gave Keeta a thumbs up before pointing at the shopping cart. She held up another shirt and looked it over before placing it back on the rack, "I think I'd be scared as well, now that I think about it, but that's really exciting. I mean the baby starting to move and all. You guys are already bonding!" Annata pulled another shirt off the rack and held it up, only to place that one back on the rack as well. "Bonding, huh?" Keeta hadn't really thought of it like that. But maybe Annta was right. She looked down at her swollen belly and ran her hands over it. While Keeta had known the baby was there for a few months now, it was only because medical science told her the baby was there and that her stomach was growing that proved it, and in theory, she could have just been getting fat. Now, however, she could rely on more than just her sense of vision to know that the baby was there. She could feel it.
"Maybe you're right. I never really thought of it that way."Annata had a half smile on her face while she shrugged, "It is sort of silly, but it's just how I think of it." She held up another shirt and her smile grew, "This is a perfect one!" She showed it to Keeta before setting it inside the cart. "You have to get it," she giggled and continued talking. "I mean, if I was a mother and I could feel my baby inside of me, I'd think of it as a way of communication. You probably will be able to tell what the baby is feeling on a certain day. Get to know each other," she started to laugh. What she was saying didn't seem like good advice to her. She was just telling Keeta what she felt."Maybe," Keeta said, considering it while she sifted through a few more racks. She lapsed into silence for a few minutes while she chose a couple more shirts. When she had as many as the dressing room would allow, she steered them over in that direction. She grabbed the shirts they'd collected thus far and stepped into the changing room.
"I'll just be a minute. I'll need your opinion on how these things look on me, but keep in mind that I'm going to be growing into a few of them." Laughing she shut the door and tried on the first shirt. A moment later she stepped out to see about getting Annata's approval.
"What do you think?" she asked, turning around, so Annata could see her from all angles."Well, I think you look pregnant," she started to giggle sweetly. "I'm only teasing, Keeta! You know that I love you!" She watched Keeta as she turned for her. "I think this one looks great! It is still loose enough for you to grow a little more," she smiled and nodded. "Approved!" Annata had a huge grin on her face as she threw her finger up into the air, as if to exclaim her approval.After getting approval from Annata on that first top, Keeta tried on the rest of the clothes and a few other things they picked out as they wandered around the store. She ended up with about a dozen tops and half that many pants and skirts to last her through the remainder of her pregnancy. Keeta cringed when the cashier told her the total, but fished the money out anyways. She needed these clothes and there wasn't much she could do about it. Despite her dislike for the work at her other job now, she was still grateful for it, because it helped a lot on occasions like this.
"So, where to next?" Keeta asked as they stepped out of the store, bags in hand. "We can go to the hardware store or go looking at baby furniture and whatnot. Or if you've had enough we can just head back home. I know you've got a lot on your mind." "Oh, I'm fine with going to the hardware store with you," she offered a smiled as she called out for a taxi. "I take it we're going to want another ride, right?" Annata began to laugh as the new cab pulled up. She opened the door and hopped in. She turned to Keeta and asked, "So do you have an idea of what sort of theme you're going to want? Any colors on your mind?""Another ride would be nice indeed! Especially with these bags." She clamored into the cab after Annata. Keeta told the driver the location of the store and turned back to her friend.
"Well I know I'm going to want something gender neutral seeing as I don't know whether Keeta Jr. is a boy or a girl yet. I'm also thinking relatively light or pastel shades. A baby's room should be light and cheery. Maybe I'll get a border or something too, but I'm not sure about that."The cab pulled away and the two of them were left near the enteryway of the hardware store. Annata looked toward Keeta and her bags, "Here let me take those to customer service so that they can watch them for use while we browse. You can grab a cart or something and I can catch up with you."Keeta grabbed a cart from the stall and met Annata back over at customer service, before leading the way to the paint section. She took a glance at the available colors.
"Goodness sakes....how am I going to narrow down the choices from this. There are so many...."Annata laughed and nodded her acknowledgment, "I agree there are a lot!" She stepped forward and look at the variety of colors. She smiled and turned back toward Keeta, her hands placed on her delicate hips. She offered a caring smile and spoke, "Well... we know that you want neutral colors, right? Nothing too pink or too blue, right? So that cuts down some choices." Annata giggled a little more and turned back toward the paints. "Maybe we should go with something warm and relaxing.""Yeah...I was thinking yellows or greens. I've got some samples in my purse that I saw in some magazines..." Keeta started digging through her purse and pulled out a couple folded magazine pages. In the process though, she also grabbed a copy of the photo of her recent ultrasound.
"Oh! Annta! I meant to show you this earlier. Look!" She handed the fuzzy black and white photo to her friend.Annata took the offered copy and smiled, "Oh Keeta! Just look! Hahaha, things like this are so exciting!" She started to giggle, the smile still on her face. "Aren't you getting a little anxious now? I think I would be wonderful to have a baby, but at the same time I think I would be frightened." Annata handed to photo back to Keeta, her usually cheeriness somewhat faded. "I've been frightened. I still am. I don't know what he or she is going to be like, whether there's going to be any complications, whether I'm going to be a good parent, since I'm doing this on my own...things like that." Keeta sighed and looked down at her belly, gently rubbing it.
"But, I've got to get used to it, regardless. This baby's coming whether I'm ready or not."Annata nodded, "I guess that was a silly thing for me to ask. I'm just so fascinated about the whole idea of it all." Annata looked down at the folded magazine pages. "Oh that's right, you wanting sort of a pastel shades weren't you? Yellows and Greens? Sounds cute!" She turned back toward the paints, in search of the yellows and greens."It wasn't silly. It's a natural thing to think about especially if you haven't gone through it yourself. I know I'd thought about it before I was pregnant. Anyways, pastel yellows and greens, yes. I figure they're pretty gender neutral colors. I think I'm leaning towards the greens though. Has a more "natural" feel to it or something I guess." She looked over at Annata and shrugged, a smirk on her face. Annata nodded, "I can see what you mean. Green does sort of have that natural feel to it." She smiled and pointed at a few pastel greens. "What about these? I think they'd look really good. Would it work out with the examples you have their on those magazine pages?" She arched and eyebrow, her finger still pointed at the newly discovered paints."Might...hmm....why don't we grab a few of the samples and I'll put them on the wall when I get home, and see if I can't get a better idea from that. You have any other input? I wouldn't mind hearing another person's opinion on the matter." "Any other input, erm, nope. That sounds like a grand idea to me Keeta!" Annata offered her usually cheery smile to Keeta. "You know Keeta, I'd like to have you over for dinner sometime. It'd would be nice to have company over, it's usually quite lonely at my place. All I have is me and all of my work." She left the offer hanging for a bit, a small, hesitant smile had replaced her usually cheery one"That would be nice. You'll have to let me know when is good for you though. I know you have a really full schedule." She returned Annata's smile and laughed a little. "And I hope you don't mind that I'll be bringing a baby with me at some point.""Really? You would come over for dinner? The baby? Oh, I'd love to have you and your baby over at my house! That would just be so wonderful!" her usually cheery self was back. Annata smiled at Keeta before asking her next question, "So, are you wanting to look at some more baby items or do you want to takes these paints that we found and head home?""Of course! Why wouldn't I?" she asked, giving Annata's shoulder a friendly squeeze.
"Well, I think we've been out for a while and I'm getting tired. I wanted to go looking at cribs and whatnot, but maybe some other time. I think my ankles and back are going to start screaming at me pretty soon otherwise.""I'll have to see when I have a free weekend, then I'll be able to invite you over for dinner!" the girl seemed genuinely happy at her friend's reply. "I'll have to think of what to bake, too."
"Yeah, maybe we can look at cribs and all that jazz another day? Would you like me to see you home then, Keeta?" Annata's voice was gentle and caring."Sounds good to me. I'm tired and could use a nap. And I'll be you have some things you need to get done," Keeta said, heading for the front counter, paint samples in hand. She didn't want to forget to pick up her other items before they left. Annata followed Keeta and nodded, "Yeah, I always seem to have something I need to do. I'll go to customer service and get the other items. I'll meet you at the front, okay?" She smiled and gave a small wave before heading over to the customer service counter.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:55 am
22 Weeks
I had my first ultrasound last week and guess what? I got to take home a picture of the baby. The original is on the fridge right now, but I've made a couple of copies to keep on my person and put a couple of places. You're one of the lucky locations. Behold, the little baby I've been talking about on and off now!
I showed the picture to Annata when we went out shopping the other day.
The ultrasound technician was very nice. She said the baby was healthy and developing normally, as far as she can tell, which is a relief (although who knows what that means here in Gaia?). Apparently she can tell if it's a boy or a girl also. I couldn't, but I asked her not to tell me. Something in me, despite the fact that I know I'm already going to be surprised in other ways, makes me want to be surprised as to the gender as well. I don't know why. I can always change my mind later anyways.
Speaking of boy or girl though, I should really start thinking of some names. 4 months seems like a long time away still, but I bet it will go more quickly than I expect. Plus, if I start thinking about it now, maybe I can get some feedback from people. I don't want to be one of those people that others go "what were they thinking when they named that child?"
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