Pondering
Hoss was not much into thought.
He found it amusing, slightly, considering how thoughtful and careful he'd been back on his home planet. But here, on this strange Gaia, he didn't need to be. He had people who watched for him day and night and, for once, he could simply enjoy himself.
But on nights like this, when sleep wouldn't come, he had to think to himself. Why? Why had he mentioned that Rusty fancied the Sheep? It would only lead to things that he wouldn't want. If Rusty got closer to the Sheep, if they got involved, they'd never leave. Hoss did not like the idea of spending time around the man. While Rusty may have been a pushover, Shiloh was not. He understood fully that there was an adult within Hoss, and he knew damn well what he was doing.
It would've been so much easier to stay still. But, watching Rusty watch the door night after night before sighing, giving him a kiss on the head and sleeping, had started to make him feel... Uncomfortable. Rusty would never act on his emotions, oh no. Something with him made him far too shy. But Hoss had no problems speaking now that he could.
Rusty was a good man. A good worker. He did what was asked of him and more with a smile on his face. No matter how many times he'd lashed out at him, made him bleed, screamed and caused him to go without sleep, the man had persevered. He'd done his job and was obviously trying to live life to his own personal standards, no matter how strict they may have been.
Jasper may have been a cruel woman, but she'd been fair. When her workers did right by her, she treated them right. Perhaps that was why he acted out, to allow Rusty some small comfort in life. He obviously hadn't had many before. The innocence in his eyes screamed 'Untouched'! While Hoss may not have liked Shiloh one damn bit, if he was what Rusty wanted, he could have him. As long as it wouldn't change how the man worked.
There was something about Rusty that had dug under Hoss's skin, made the man into a sore spot for him. Something about how he smiled, how he looked sometimes. Especially like he'd looked before he'd fallen ill. He'd been so terribly empty. Jasper had seen girls and boys get that look after their first times, expecially when they'd been sold. Those who kept it tended to not last long. Someone had used and abused the little blonde, though he didn't know how.
He'd find out someday. When his words came out correctly and his body was no longer a child's he would ask. Rusty would tell him, and Hoss would keep him close. Keep him safe.
Jasper F'taas hadn't had many people she gave a damn about. She'd never really received unconditional love. There'd been one person in her life that had actually given a damn about her back, and he'd been buried for years. But when she did care for someone, no one hurt that person. That trait had transferred to Hoss as well, just as strong. Rusty loved him, and, unwillingly, Hoss cared for him as well.
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