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 Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:07 pm
Hey! what can I say? Hearts are expensive!
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:07 pm
THE MUGGLE'S GUIDE FOR DUMMIES!
As you walk along Diagon Ally, robes billowing behind you a suspicious looking man blocks your way. Theres a glint in his eyes that reminds you of a strange cross between Albus Dumbledore and the Dark Lord Voldemort. He presents to you an old raggedy looking hat which you stare at with distaste. It reminds you of an obscenely ugly version of the already ugly sorting hat back at Hogwarts. He thrusts it into your hands, while speaking so loudly that you think all of Britain must've heard.
"Want to fool a muggle into thinking your one of them but know nothing about the muggles? Want to join their world but know nothing except that they are muggles and are hated by he-who-must-not-be-names for obvious reasons that you have yet to figure out? Are you looking for the perfect book on them that gives just enough information but can't seem to find it? Well thats because you don't need it!
What you need, kind fellow, is this. What is it you ask? Well thats quite simple really, place this on your head and you'll know everything you ever wanted to know about these pathetic- I mean pleasant beings who are below us and deserve nothing more than to-" The man seems to stop at his words, swallows and then smiles at you, his bright green eyes flashing as he thought of the things he could do to the muggles if the Dark Lord had only gotten into power.
"I mean," he begins again, "The pleasant beings who are rather pitiful, since they can't experience the joys of our world! Here, kind fellow, try it!" The man insists as he proceeds to attempt at putting the hat on your head.
Images flash and you can't quite intemperate them. You seem too hear his voice amongst all the images, but its distant and you can't quite make out what he is saying. You think it has something to do with 60 Galleons. Once you gain control of your body again, you push the man and his hideous hat away, and proceed to run out of Diagon Ally.
As you came to the end of the ally, you tilt your head and ask, in a very confused voice, "Now just who in Merlin's name is Britney Spears?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:49 pm
Lol.
That made my day totally!
*buys a hat*
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 3:43 pm
Why does this thread keep sinking! gonk
There are way too many games, I tell you...
I like the hat!
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:09 pm
BAH HA HA HA HA! I burst out laughing when I read the ad for the real beating heart! THAT IS HILARIOUS! I love this more and more, I need to make some more ads, tell everyone to come and add to this. I'm sorry that it is sinking, but I guess the over-rated games are more popular, lol. I like things that take thinking and some fun, and something different, I guess I'm just odd that way. Well, anyway-thanks for coming to the Emporium and I hope to hear from you soon.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:37 pm
I love this thread! And thanks for the compliment, it's much appriciated.
Losing threads like these to the doom of the second page is why I started up my 'petition.'
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:57 pm
We keep losing this partly because the games are so much easier to post on...and oftentimes the 'goal' is just to advance up the years as quickly as possible. Oh well. These take a lot of time to think of, though...-.- Though the actual advertisements are much more interesting than a short response on "The Magical Vending Machine" or another game like that...must think of new ideas! XD
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:15 pm
SAVE A THREAD!
IS YOUR THREAD ALWAYS DISAPPARATING TO THE HORROR OF THE SECOND PAGE? DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY IGNORE IT? DO YOU STARE, HELPLESS, AS WONDERFUL ART FADES AWAY?
If so, try the spam-a-thread today! All you have to do is post this perfectly innocent advertisement. It serves its pupose perfectly well without bothering anyone! It only costs you 2 galleons, and look at the wonders it can perform! It will boost up the level of your thread all the way up to the top! Amazing, isn't it? It has no unintended side effects, so buy it now! And to top it off, you'll be known as a generous and brilliant idiot! You'll be giving us advertising and paying for it too! Isn't that wonderful? So buy a spam-a-thread today! Send an owl post to 1800 SPAMATHREAD St. to order!
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:57 pm
Noooo...the thread is sinking into nothingness....T__T
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:10 pm
Haha.
I don't know how to do the brown layout.
o.o
Help...?
But here's a basic idea:
"Oh, come in Mr. Schaeffer!"
"Yeh, well I's gotsa some difficultys with mys weight!"
"Yes, ah, well, we have just the solution! Here is my greatest invention...the Weight Transfer Ring! You have a worst enemy, right? Give the gold ring to them and wear the silver one. In 28 days, 50% of your weight will be transfered to your enemy! Watch them suffer!"
"Err...that's nots whats Is means..."
"Don't be bashful! *Advertiser grin* We'll offer a trial for free! Just have your Galleons at the ready!"
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:26 pm
You find yourself walking through the emporium when this kid practically runs you over as he bursts his way through the door. At the old lady's kind offering of cookies, he gives an ugly grimace and tells her to get lost. He approaches you and you find that you recognize him as the Slytherin seeker of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry...or he was that is. "Good day," he says, his pale face quite like some bird of prey in the dim light, "Want to save yourself from a vicious hippogriff? Well, I have the answer for you!" He hands you a tiny bottle of pills and you look over the name and the side effects Hippo-away
Change yourself temporarily into a hippogriff to fight off pesky teachers, so-called friends, and other beasts! This completely risk free bottle of five pills is the answer to just about any problem-hippogriffs are strong and able to fly-how would you like to experience flilght, and be without a broom or the aid of any other animal? Now for a limited time only, sign up and we'll bill you for the next 37 years later! It's risk free, temporary and the side effects are few, and if there are any they will fade away almost immediately! Take your chance today...
Side effects: Fear of flight, Ancraophobia, mental instability, Delirium, Sudden death, warts, Delusional disorder, Acousticophobia, Hemophobia, Kleptomania, Dependent personality disorder, Cathisophobia, Brain disease, fear of needles, ingrown toe-nails, Depersonalization disorder, Ichthyophobia, Permanent transformation into a hippogriff, donkey, skunk, or ferret, Schizophrenia, Aeronausiphobia, Depression, Myctophobia, extreme pimple break outs, bed-wetting, Dementophobia, violent rashes, and insanity-but of course any of these would be temporary! Warning: Side effects may be permanent.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 7:00 pm
Empress_Cat You find yourself walking through the emporium when this kid practically runs you over as he bursts his way through the door. At the old lady's kind offering of cookies, he gives an ugly grimace and tells her to get lost. He approaches you and you find that you recognize him as the Slytherin seeker of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry...or he was that is. "Good day," he says, his pale face quite like some bird of prey in the dim light, "Want to save yourself from a vicious hippogriff? Well, I have the answer for you!" He hands you a tiny bottle of pills and you look over the name and the side effects Hippo-away
Change yourself temporarily into a hippogriff to fight off pesky teachers, so-called friends, and other beasts! This completely risk free bottle of five pills is the answer to just about any problem-hippogriffs are strong and able to fly-how would you like to experience flilght, and be without a broom or the aid of any other animal? Now for a limited time only, sign up and we'll bill you for the next 37 years later! It's risk free, temporary and the side effects are few, and if there are any they will fade away almost immediately! Take your chance today...
Side effects: Fear of flight, Ancraophobia, mental instability, Delirium, Sudden death, warts, Delusional disorder, Acousticophobia, Hemophobia, Kleptomania, Dependent personality disorder, Cathisophobia, Brain disease, fear of needles, ingrown toe-nails, Depersonalization disorder, Ichthyophobia, Permanent transformation into a hippogriff, donkey, skunk, or ferret, Schizophrenia, Aeronausiphobia, Depression, Myctophobia, extreme pimple break outs, bed-wetting, Dementophobia, violent rashes, and insanity-but of course any of these would be temporary! Warning: Side effects may be permanent. I was thinking that's not...too bad. And then I almost skipped over the warning part. Haha. "Warning: Side effects may be permanent" -.-" Now THAT'S a completely different story.
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:37 pm
XD
It's right above the typing box, the thing called "post style". Choose 'document' for the brown paper-ish background.
Hey, does anyone know where I can find the post for icons...
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:33 pm
THE ANTHROPULL!
"One must be either rich or compassionate to have followers" a wise person once stated.
Well, this is true NO MORE!
We call this the Anthropull, Anthro meaning "mankind".
Just attach this small brooch on your shirt and BAM BAM BAM! People will just be attracted to you...literally.
You can get the attention of anybody you want because they'll be RIGHT THERE!
This may cause people to hate you and has resulted in users to grow insane. We do not take any blame in case of such incidences. Beware, we have magical lawyers who are adept at what they do!
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