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 Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:14 am
As I'm living in a house full of Catholics who would disown me at the slightest notion of me ever being a witch, I stay a closet witch, and will until I leave home. However, don't let others influence your faith, I agree. Whenever I'm in doubt, I simply get rid of all my excess energy. Also, other peoples' emotions may be bleeding onto you. Try some psychic shielding to prevent this. And if you can't be alone at any time, simply do your exercises at night.
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:05 am
i-- M a r i e --i Like many poeple here, i'm a closet witch.I wouldn't even dare to call myself a witch.I feel like just a person who studies on it.My only source is internet, and ofcourse, my mentor.I cannot lend any books from the library because i'm too afraid my mom would find them.I have no friends or poeple i know from the area,who i could go to when i would want to read more books or practice.I did try to look up poeple of my age who live in my neighbourhood, but i'm a bit too shy to really meet those poeple, XD. But i only know my mentor on MSN. At the beginning i felt that i was starting to connect to the goddess and the spiritual world, but that feeling is gone.Our house is always full of poeple, and i live in the city, there are not many parks where i can be alone. Also, everyone keeps telling me about "witchcraft is bullshit, it makes no sense...".etc...It makes me question my faith.And i don't want that. So i ask you, does anyone has ideas ? To make me feel more connected, to learn, to experiece? To ANYONE who is in a home where they feel they can't learn more. You can always go to the library just to read, you can always go to a park or woods or stream somewhere to meditate and connect with nature. I used to look out my window at night at the moon and feel my connection to the goddess. Even in a city there are rivers and or parks, ponds, etc. you don't need anything to worship the god and goddess but yourself and your mind. i didn't get an altar or anything until i was out of my parents house. i still had to celebrate with them but i would do little things to make it fit in with my worship of the god and goddess. besides the whole going to church thing christian holidays are not much different from pagan ones.. except for beltaine. 4laugh but it's not hard to incorporate the two together, don't worry about the magic practicing and altar making for right now. focus on getting to know your god and goddess by talking to them and yoga is a great thing to begin and can be used for worship too. if you're looking up different poses for yoga there are some for greeting the sun in the morning and some for relaxing and streching and all kinds of things. i use the sun salutation to greet the god some mornings. so just get creative!
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:58 pm
I felt the same thing. When I first started Wicca I felt so magickal, and i really felt connected to the Goddess, but after a few months, that feeling faded. Really, I think that it comes from not being able to do magick with others and share experiences with others of the same religion. After I came out and I started doing magick and rituals with other people, the feeling of magick and connection came back.
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:41 pm
I agree with what Tari said. Almost a year ago, I began my research on Wicca and then found that it was really the ideal religion for me and I felt so connected to it. But, when I tried talking to my mom about how I felt about Wicca, she just sort of denied it and thought that I would grow out of it. And after a while...I sadly did. Not so much grew out of it, but eventually it slipped into the back of my mind. I also believe that it had to do with the fact I cannot perform rituals, practice magick, or go through the experiences many others have gone through. It can be so disheartening at times.
Thankfully, I just recently remembered about how strongly I had felt about Wicca and then realized how much I missed that connection. So now I'm determined to continue studying Wicca again. I've gone through all my old books (I love Scott Cunningham whee ) and I'm trying my best to become a part of Wicca. I'll soon be getting my liscence, which gives me much more freedom. For example, I'll be able to go buy supplies, like candles, a book of shadows, etc. by myself. I'm looking forward to my first visit to a New Age shop. smile
I know that while I cannot participate in the magickal aspect of Wicca (such as spells, rituals, etc), I can still strengthen my connection with the Goddess and God. It's been a trying experience, since I grew up with Christian thoughts and beliefs, and it's so hard to just discard them. I know I'll find the right path though and I'm certain that it will include Wicca. heart
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:40 pm
dont listen too those people when i became a witch my mom hated me and said i worshiped the devil. so i had to explain to her what its about and now she is fine with it. you just have to explain it
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:58 am
Some people can be open-minded about it, and thats great your Mom is morganita14!!!
However some people do not have open minds- for example my Mother is proud that she is close-minded (The path to heaven is narrow- her saying not mine). I can and have explained Wicca to my Mom till I'm exhausted and that won't change her views of it at all. Actually we haven't spoken in over a year now- we've only exchanged card at Xmas/Yule & birthdays in the last year. I'm fortunate to have my Grandparents close by; and they suprised me greatly by being much more open-minded that I ever thought!
Some people have very valid reasons for bring closet witches- and like x_angel_of_darkness_x for example; will be able to become closer/more open when they get older. For others, it is right for them to be open, and not secretive. Its really a personal judgement.
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:53 am
My mother is hard-core Catholic... to the point my father has said many times "If she didn't marry me, I think she would have become a nun." My mom can be scary.
When I was living at home, she thought my looking into Wicca was the end of the world. Then I moved out. Then I moved back home, with all my stuff in tow. Her words "I don't want that Satanistic crap in my house." My words... "Well, first of all, you're an idiot for calling it what it isn't, and for not bothering to open your eyes. Second.. I guess I'm moving in with friends. I think Henry's dad has a basement open..."
There is a point to this. My mother and I reached an understanding. I was who I was, and she was who she was. She didn't want to learn anything about my religion, and we agreed not to talk about it. But I got a few words in edgewise. First, I looked at her and said "You've known me since I was a baby. You honestly think I'm the kind of person to worship and believe in something like Satanism?" I had here there. The second bit I got in edgewise was that I talked with my great aunt. Now, you wouldn't think an 80 year old Catholic woman would be the person to go to, but.. my aunt is cool. I sat her down once, and told her what I believed... everything. Her reply was "At least it's not that Scientology. If it makes you happy dear, that's fine." And.. since she's my mother's aunt... I have a feeling she also took the time to set my mom straight.
Sometimes, you find allies in the strangest places.
But, I can't help you much with advice for being a city witch. I;m a country witch at heart, and I've found that since I moved to the big city, my concentration is all shot to heck, and I'm not half the witch I was. Then again, the big city scares the daylights out of me. razz Good luck though, and know that if it makes you happy, follow your heart. The rest will fall into place. I really do believe that.
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 5:39 pm
morganita14 dont listen too those people when i became a witch my mom hated me and said i worshiped the devil. so i had to explain to her what its about and now she is fine with it. you just have to explain it Thanks, but even if i explain it, my mom would still forbid me. it's not because she's a Christian, or Catholic, she just thinks it's bullshit and that i would waste time on it.She's just one of those poeple who're agaisnt anything 'out of the ordinairy' ((according to her)).Well, i just keep studying, and like someone said ((forgot who)), when i jsut look at the full moon, feel a nonnection, it makes me happy.I also have 2 wiccan ((or pagan, i'm a bit confused about what they actually are)) friends who i chat with every day.But they live to far away for me to actually spend time with them.My friend in school is just like my mom.It's 'weird' according to her and i can't talk about it with her.It's hard to keep shut about something all day when it really fascinates you XP.I lost my best friend because she wanted me to quit wicca.She told me wicca changed me.((wich is completely bullshit, because i discovered wicca way before i ever told her about it, and she knows nothing about wicca.)).I don't blame wicca for losing my friend, it just proves AGAIN that she isn't such a good friend.((at the beginning she was also interested, but i highly suspect her of only liking the "witch" and "witchcraft" part.She actually never did the effort to understand the religion.She just saw me talking with a wiccan friend about it, and she thought it was cool, asked if she could become wicca too, but she never read a single thing about it.when i asked her after a week if she would start learning about it, she just said 'if i NEED to read, then i just quit wicca." It just proves that the religion isn't right for her at all.Next day she practically BEGGED me to quit wicca.(wich sounds weird, because she actually asked me to 'stop believing what i believed'.I think she saw wicca only as 'magic." wich it isn't at all))
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:56 am
I say don't listen to those people who call your faith wrong because if it feels right to you then it's right.
As far as getting more connected I understand it can be extremely hard in a big city to do so (I've been there myself) but if you get pants, stones and other things from nature and surround yourself with them (like in your room or maybe even your whole house) and then just sit a meditate and try to feel these objects you'll get much closer to nature. Remember too that if you follow this path truly then you're already close to the goddess =)
Hope this helped heart
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:18 pm
I kind of despise admitting this, but I've been considering myself Wiccan without doing anything more than studying with an open mind.
My mom has seen some of my books and my pentagrams and she doesn't say anything. She's pretty awesome, she's a WOW/Gaia/FF addict, but she doesn't think witchcraft makes any sense. Sometimes I think she already knows and sometimes I think it would be better if we cleared the air. But enough of my issues and on to my solutions.
Since I don't outwardly express my beliefs, I can give you some tips that are just general to my life. I do live in sort of a rural area, but really I never leave my city/town. It's like city life with no Great Escape.
Take time, even if it's like 30 seconds and just close your eyes. Sometimes on the bus or even in a bathroom stall, if I just close my eyes it feels like a nap. It's quick and relaxing and works for me.
Taking an extra look over your shoulder at the moon, stars, waves, trees, animals or whatever can give your brain an extra moment to appreciate the world. I'd love to sit on my tiny porch and stare at the moon for hours, but my neighborhood is cruddy and the weather's freezing, so I don't. But even that extra glance is just enough consideration to feel a connection.
Houseplants might help. I kill them easily, but I have some bamboo shoots that have been alive for months and they're super easy to keep. They just need water.
My cats are a big boost some days. They're a very witchy animal, even if mine are golden. Seeing their eyes, I know there's something awesome going on.
Even using a tarot card as a bookmark or something small like an image that you like might help too. So if someone saw it, they might not automatically think OMG WITCH!!
If you ever want to talk about being a closet case (Anybody really) I'd love to have a PM from you. You're not alone. heart
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