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 Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:14 pm
Endless smiled tentatively. "I... well... if you ever need a shoulder...?" He stared down at his teacup. "Maybe we could both use a friend, right now..."
It would have helped... having another friend to turn to. One he felt he could talk to, at least. Not that he didn't think he could talk to the others at the Place, but he felt weird about baring his soul to someone he saw every day. He didn't want them to worry about him like that... he knew they'd worry anyway but if they really knew all the things that bothered him all the time? Sigh...
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 7:18 pm
Rune sipped her tea thoughtfully. When her voice came it was softer than usual though still as clear. "More than maybe, I think."
She was quiet for some time, simply drinking in the company. Misery loves company, hm? Perhaps, but not quite. Neither of us... wish to burden those that are happy around us with our emotional pain. And so... draw to each other to purge it from inside with words? I... do not know if I can do this. The White SeeD looked up into the male's glowing white eyes, remembering the things Liliana spoke of him, mostly before the love triangle had gone down. All good things, and not all by far if Rune still had any sense remaining from M'dir. Her smile was soft & sad as she shook her head, eyelids falling slightly though she still looked upon Endless' face. "I have not really spoke anything of what holds me since AearHwesta found me as a kitsu upon the shore. Some I live with know more than others." Trelweny & the other telepaths, the other Runes. "But talking? No."
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:41 pm
Endless was quiet for a long moment. "Lily... is the only one I've told about my past. Before I came here. I told a few a little bit... like Kitsyn, but she's... not the prying type, unless someone wants to talk. I suppose because she has things she doesn't like to talk about either..." He trailed off. "Mom told me she told Remus about it, one time, when she went over. About my... father. And what happened to her. But I never really... felt safe telling anyone else but Lil about me. I don't like to think about it... much less talk about it. So... Well I don't really know where I was going with that. I guess just saying it's ok if you want to talk or... not?" He grinned sheepishly down at his tea. "I'm still not used to... talking."
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 10:52 pm
Want to? Rune seldom cared to want to talk to many... much less about herself. But... something was willing her to talk to this male who loved her housemate so and had been hurt as she knew he must be. Odd perhaps, how she wanted to talk to him to help him more than actually wishing to tell of herself. The shy orphan was comfortable not being known or seen or noticed. Comfortable not talking and watching from the sidelines. Comfortable doing her job or maybe letting Ellone draw forth answers from her 'before' her 'sister' had sent her here. Want? Perhaps not. Rune offered a soft sheepish smile. "Me either."
Gracefully she took a sip from her tea and opening her mouth slipped into a lecture-type recount of her life. It was easier that way. Her eyes looked off a bit, looking over Endless' shoulder as if watching the past on a video there. "I barely remember my parents, which I suppose in and of itself is a miracle I do at all. They were kind and loving, but my last memory of them they were feared. Then very heavy, their bodies falling over me -to protect me I'm certain- when they were killed. I was taken to the orphanage. I don't remember much how from crying & sleeping, where Matron raised us for some years. Seifer, Zell, Selphie, Squall, Irvine, Quistis. And older than us by a few years, Ellone. All of us so very different, even then. All but Ellone training to become SeeDs even though all but Irvine forgot everything about growing up together thanks to time & the guardian forces we junctioned. Even Irvine did not remember as I did, for my GF instead of taking my memories strengthened them. I did not leave Ellone when she left -I went with her even though it broke my child's heart. You see... already I had given it away. I didn't want to leave him. He would never know. I would never tell him."
She paused to laugh softly then. "Not that it would matter. Even as children no one but Matron & Sis -Ellone- ever seemed to know I existed. I never minded. Years later we were all SeeDs except for Seifer. There was the Sorceress War, which I will not bore you with, but which the others minus Seifer & I but plus a girl who managed to bring Squall out of his shell saved the world from time compression in saving Sis."
Closing her eyes Rune sighed heavily. "It was sometime after that Ellone offered to send me here, something about how perhaps I would find courage to speak to him in another form. For some reason that is not as clear -perhaps from being separated from M'din my GF who always enhanced my memory or from the change itself. I doubt it matters. It was a chance & I took it."
"AearHwesta found me on the beach, and once he knew my heart was already given was in whole a perfect gentleman. He introduced me to his family where I was taken in. And there... I learned to be a kitsusagi & I grew in hope..." The female's graceful & upright countenance started to fail her then even as at first there was a light trace of remembered joy from her first reaction. It did not last long. "And then I came across him here. It was raining... I... did not make a good first impression I'm afraid. In my excitement I called him by name and of course he did not know me. Why would he? I had remained hidden? So when it was uncomfortable... I left rather than trouble or upset him further. I've not seen him since. Zell came later and he did not know me either. I started wondering that though we may be of the same 'before' perhaps they were different realities. I don't know. Others showed up like me and him in our home and between them it worked somehow. Hope again. But Zell found Squall and learned things... that changed everything for me. Things that had happened before I became a kitsu that were out of our hands. He... was all but with Rinoa who I thought loved Squall but here had no memory of him. I suppose I shouldn't have been so surprised, for they had shared a summer 'before' as well."
Sipping her tea Rune finished it and lightly laid her head upon her paws. "Since then another pair of 'us' have joined the family & become a couple. I must content myself that it is possible... just not for me."
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:18 am
Endless was quiet for a long moment, trying to absorb all the information. In many ways similar to his own story... and in many ways different. "Well... I hope you can find happiness, some day. A nice person like you shouldn't have to always be sad."
He really... wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it. Honestly he hadn't even told Lily all the little morbid details of his life... he hadn't remembered them all until he stopped to look back on things after she left with Edward. He'd only told Naneth and Iris the basic details so far. And he probably wasn't going to tell everything here and now, either. Really, he didn't want to talk about it, but Rune had told him, and he felt he ought to at least return the favor.
"My... father." It was hard to call Kairn that, even if it was meant in only a physical sense anymore. "Was a psycho, to put it bluntly. He didn't really show how much until after my mom ran off with him. She loved the person he'd been trying to be... I don't think anyone knows why he gave up on that. But... it was shortly after my siblings and I hatched that she ran into an old friend... the other guy who loved my mom. She'd always been just a friend to him, but my father was a possessive b*****d. He tried to kill the guy, and when my mom tried to help him, he attacked her too. Then he wouldn't let her get the wound treated and made us all pack up and leave. She got an infection, and she got really sick, and he didn't care. When she was finally too weak to keep up anymore he just left her there. We were too young to do anything about it... and he always, always, carried my sister himself, and my brother and I knew that if we left her alone with him something bad would happen to her. We just... knew."
He paused for a moment to sip at his tea. "One night Quin told me to leave and go find our grandparents or somebody... he'd stay with Celeste and try to get her away from Kairn so we could meet up later. We were little, we had no idea where we were, but even though we'd traveled a long way we didn't realize how far away he'd taken us from family. I didn't even remember where family was, much less how to get there, and I got lost. Even I'm not sure how I survived... and aside from the Old Bum and a femme that lived with a little circus troupe that I ran into occasionally I was alone, and I didn't even know if anyone else was still alive. I was... suprised to see Mom alive, honestly. And I still don't know what happened to Quin and Celeste."
He stared at his tea for a long moment. "I was barely more than a teen when I got here. I still don't know why I came here, either, but... I guess it's just because this is where I'm supposed to be." He smiled a bit ruefully. "I was... very slow to trust, and very angry. Still am, sometimes." He grew quiet and frowned. "I still hate him. If it wasn't for Soot and Atae... and Lily... I don't know if I'd ever have been able to let myself... care about anybody again."
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:24 pm
She looked at him more now that he was the one telling his tale then she had during her own. At first... surprised. Rune had expected the starry pelted male to speak of how the love triangle had hurt or how, well, how he had been since then. Not... not the synapses of his life. Her surprise shifted, becoming that more so of one not wanting to believe anyone could be like Endless' father yet knowing that it certainly could be -knowing that there were probably even those that were worse. Beings like that were why she still trained though the purpose behind the creation of Garden and SeeDs was now irrelevant. The old reason was not base anymore, but the premise of protecting... that would never fade.
As Endless spoke she started to form an idea that this was woven into what she had expected of him to speak. With Liliana not being able to come see him for one reason or the other... and with all that had transpired between them she could not be there for him to speak to of this as
Rune's gentle heart went out to him. Gracefully she set her tea aside and reached her paw across the space between them to rest gently just beside his, barely touching. Her pale green eyes were soft & sad & sympathetic as they looked to the glowing white of Endless' eyes. As if to say he did not have to be alone. Honor at being trusted. Gladness that he had somehow made it through, that he had found his mother. Hope that he would yet find his siblings... with reinforcement that they would watch for them -he would not have to search and look alone. Along with silence, that she would keep silent. For these were his things to say & share, not hers. But no words were said. What could she say? What poor words could convey all that with any eloquence at all?
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 10:15 pm
"Quin... he was always kinda big. Had a temper though... especially when it came to protecting Celeste. He had sort of a... harlequin patterned fur. That's why mom named him Quin. Celeste... she's the only one dad named. Mom said she agreed to it because it was what she'd had in mind too. She looked... a lot like mom. But she was pink. Well... they still would look like that, though, right? Unless they were shaved or something, but that would be silly in winter..."
Endless went back to his tea and sighed into the cup when he was done. "I'm happy for Lil... I am. I wish... she'd been happy with me, but... she was always in love with Ed. I know she loved, and loves, both of us, but when I look back at things, she was in love with Ed before I ever brought anything up. I guess... I kinda made both of them realize how they felt, though. That's something, right?" He frowned at his empty cup. "I want to see them but... it's hard. You know? But... maybe it's better this way. I never... really deserved her. It's gift enough that she's my friend."
Suddenly he looked up. "You think they'd like it if I made them... something? Maybe for Christmas?" He could do that... and then he'd see them, and there would be lots of people around and if things got too uncomfortable it wouldn't be too akward if they just went to visit with someone else for a while or something...
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:38 pm
The White SeeD nodded at the descriptions, a look on her face indicating how she was carefully storing the information away. Her soft & sad look seemed to increase as Endless spoke of Liliana. The soft look in her eyes saying that Liliana was happy... would have been happy... but there are different types of happy just as there are different types of love.
Rune blinked as she all at once was faced with the full glow of his white eyes. Slowly her smile warmed and she nodded. "I think they would like that very much. I can speak more for Liliana than Edward... and I know anything from you will be special. Almost as much as seeing you again." Her soft gaze became slightly pointed and her voice softened even more if that was possible. "Please never think that it happened as it did because you do not deserve her, Endless. That's unworthy of you, to debase yourself so. It pains me to hear you speak that way." Unspoken was how it would hurt those who knew him, who already cared so much about Endless and his well-being.
"But if you would like to make them something, and would feel more comfortable about the giving with company..." Rune looked mildly uncertain, not quite uncomfortable. More that she was unsure whether she was the right one to be offering. "I could accompany you."
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:57 pm
Endless honestly looked abashed at what Rune said about his self-deprecating comment and nodded mutely. "I... you're probably right. Though I... didn't start thinking that way only after... Lil. It's a... bad habit." He rolled his shoulders, part shrug, part nervous reaction. "But... yes. I think I'll make something."
Suddenly he heard an excited squeel from the direction of the stairs and turned to see Seer wagging her tails and wiggling happily at the sight of Rune. "Guess time's up. It'll take me a while to make it... I'll bring it over for Christmas. I'm sure the others will be there with me, so... you can show up, of course. But I think I'll be ok..." He gave her a meaningful look, sort of a thank you, and a reassurance that he would be ok, sometime. He'd gotten through everything so far, he wasn't going to stop now. "I think I'll leave you two to catch up, I have some... planning to do."
((You can just have Rune go off to talk with Seer or something. I don't really feel like RPing that part. XD And I think that about wraps this up.))
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