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 Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:11 pm
"You're an interesting fellow, Dante, did you know that? A bit confusing, but interesting all the same. Not many stallions can articulate their opinions so clearly, not without taking five times as long to do it." Tilting her head to the side, Amary gave the stallion a look that was much more measuring than any she'd given him before. She never would have guessed he'd be so passionate about the subject of looks, especially considering last time they'd met, he hadn't been passionate about...well, anything. He was proving to be quite the surprise...
But then, she did love surprises. "Natural IS beautiful, that's why we should all love ourselves the way we are." Grinning, Amary preened a bit, her own opinions on the topic of self-worth evident in her somewhat vain smile. "Like, I love my color, and my wings, and the way my hair curls; you should love your nifty color, your fluffy little wings, your absolutely gorgeous in a way that's almost criminal for a stallion hair..."
Oblivious to any internal angonies Dante might be dealing with, Amary was slipping down a well-trodden trail herself, her original attention to her explanation becoming more of a listing of Dante's attributes and her own appreciation for those attributes. She was a terrible dissembler, after all.
As she mentioned Dante's hair, Amary had once again stepped closer, nuzzling her nose into his mane and lipping gently at the strands. It was such a nice mane, so long and face-framing, and such a beautiful color! It hid his neck, unfortunately, but that was a small price to pay in the long run. Besides, she'd found his neck now! "Mmm...how'd you get to be so muscular, Dante?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:56 pm
"I have never had a problem with myself." Well, that was partially true, and it was also partially a lie. He hated how he wasn't worth anything to his father, but he rather enjoyed how he looked. It was a strange case of confusion that plagued him constantly. "But it is good to know you feel the same way, since we are all made to look different for a reason. You have siblings, don't you? Its just like that, we look different from them because we are different." He had passion behind his words, but there was a fake sense of confidence that lingered behind his voice.
Before he could continue on with his words, he noticed the mare move herself directly in front of him, but this time Amary was incredibly close to his body. At her words, he only stared blankly, before letting a slight gulp drip down his throat.
...Muscular? If anything, he found himself incredibly weak! "I um.. don't know what your talking about." He then said, while moving his eyes off of her. What was Amary up to? She seemed to do little movements to him quite a lot, and it was starting to worry him. He wanted to ask her why, but that would be strange, wouldn't it? Instead, he just remained silent, while holding his eyes off in the distance. She really was a strange mare.. or.. was he the strange one?
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:14 pm
"Very true, I suppose; I have three half-siblings and one brother, and none of us look perfectly alike, not even my full brother Leon." Still, Amary's voice was more absent than anything else at the moment, almost like she was speaking on autopilot. Then again, it was hard to focus on conversation when her thoughts and interest lay elsewhere.
Though Dante's relative inattentiveness was on some levels a concern, Amary wasn't that worried, at least not yet. It was strange for a stallion to be so...well, IMMUNE...but she was being subtle. As always, it was more about intuition than conscious thought on her part, but if necessary, that could change.
"Oh, you should. Because seriously, Dante, you are a well-built stallion." In a voice that was almost like a purr, Amary responded to Dante's stammered comment, then moved even closer, flicking her tail against his leg as she nuzzled at his neck. "You've got a long mane, but underneath there's a very impressive body that you should be more than proud of."
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:22 pm
Dante was once again not listening to Amary, since her actions were speaking loud enough for him. Was she.. serious? Why was she suddenly moving so close to him? And why.. did the entire atmosphere around them change? With a subtle move, the stallion took a few steps away, and he lowered his head shamefully. "Seriously, I don't know WHAT you are talking about, but seriously. This is freaking me out."
As pathetic as it looked, Dante was a stallion who stayed true to himself. He was not comfortable, so therefore he spoke up. It was clear that his mindset was far behind that of Amary's, but still, he found something wrong with the entire situation. Why would Amary suddenly do something like that? They were probably newly friends, but nothing more..
After a few seconds of silence, he finally looked back towards the mare while slowly shaking his head. "Sorry but.. I .. just don't get it." Or rather- he didn't want to tell her how he really felt, which was uncomfortable. But, from his overall reaction, he was sure that she understood that.
All he kept thinking was, Poor Amary. He really was a fool, a very stubborn and idiotic fool.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:31 pm
On one level, having her advanced reacted to so negatively was an extremely unpleasant happening, and Amary couldn't quite suppress the sigh that escaped her lips as Dante moved away. He was so very resolute, so very...well, unaccomdating!
But on the other hand, in a way his behavior made sense. He wasn't the first stallion she'd ever met that didn't understand the ways of mares and stallions or, at the very least, had never experienced them firsthand himself. Well, if that was the case, he was lucky to have a mare like her around that was willing to explain.
Letting him keep his distance for now, Amary tossed back her mane and gave the stallion a sultry smile. "You mean I'm not being obvious enough? I'm sorry about that, Dante, I really do need to work on being more obvious when I'm trying to express something." Having said that, Amary tilted her head to the side and gave Dante one of what she thought to be her most appealing looks, going for the direct approach. "Don't you think I'm attractive, Dante?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:38 pm
...Attractive? When Dante thought about it, he didn't find anybody attractive! Amary was a pretty mare, but Dante never thought of her as an attraction?!
With that in mind, he swallowed a huge mound of worry and glanced at the mare's eyes. "I mean, you and I know you are a pretty female, but I don't really.. have an attraction to anybody." So.. he was the weird one, wasn't he? Amary must have been attracted to him.. and since he wasn't attracted to her.. she probably felt like crap! Great going, Dante.
"I am sure you get lots of stallions, and I am sorry for being as blind as I am. I just don't look at attraction as something important." As much as he wanted to lie to himself and blend in with everybody else.. he just couldn't. He didn't feel the same feelings as everybody else. Maybe they were repressed, and hidden deep inside him, but they were most certainly hidden. And because of such, there was no reason to force them out. "I really am sorry, I am such an a**. I need.. to open my eyes more, and stop being such an idiot." He couldn't lie to her, and himself. At least he could be truthful, right?
Amary would probably hate him now...
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:49 pm
Well, that was a new one. But keeping her eyes on Dante's, Amary could see that, regardless of whether or not what he was saying was true, he honestly believed it was, and in the end, that was the most important thing.
However, instead of being upset or feeling bad about herself, the knowledge that Dante felt no attraction to her, to ANYONE filled her with a profound sadness. The very idea that he went through life, never knowing the thrill that ran through her everytime she caught an attractive stallion's eye, never feeling the electric shock of those first touches and the ultimate pleasure that such acquaintances ultimately resulted in for all involved...to live a life without passion was to live at best half a life.
Straightening up, Amary walked over to Dante without saying a word, and still without saying a word, she came up right next to Dante and nuzzled his muzzle with her own. "You're not an a**, Dante, nor are you an idiot, but what you ARE is a stallion who is missing out on one of life's most beautiful pleasures. Honestly, I AM attracted to you, Dante, and not just because you have a sexy body." Though that was certainly a boon, as her wandering eyes attested. "You're a fin guy to talk to, and you're so sweet; I really think you DESERVE to know what passion feels like, because it is one of the best things in the world!"
As she spoke, Amary's eyes lit up and she became more animated with each word, clearly indicating the worth she herself placed on the act. Then again, in a way...it WAS her life. "If you don't feel something, it can't be forced, Dante; but just so you know upfront, I'm going to see if I can't change that outlook of yours. After all, last time we met you didn't smile; change takes time and exposure and all of that good stuff...so we'll just have to see what happens!"
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:05 pm
So.. she did want to change him. It was just like last time, except sorta worse. For a moment, Dante felt incredibly emotional, and it was a feeling that was hitting him more then usual. Was Amary using him for her own plight? He was sick of that.. since everyone he met wanted something from him. "There is a reason I don't do things like that. If I did, I would be changing myself completely, and that's not me." Bringing his face into its usual frown, he waved some of his hair out of his face, and furrowed his brow.
Dante wanted to believe in love, and it was something he considered hoping for one day. But when it came to 'physical' things, he was not a fan. He was very strict about the idea of.. sex.. since his mother was so brutally raped. If anything around him became too physical, he knew he would not be able to handle it. The thought of it was just... too disturbing. His poor mother..
It made him hate himself, since he wasn't getting Amary's vibes in the beginning. But at least now he would learn, since Amary was pretty much blatant at this point.
"Smiling is completely different from this. Just because I tried to be more positive, doesn't mean I am going to change all of my morals and thoughts." His tone was soft, but there was a anger to his expression. "Is there anything else you would like to change, Amary?" Pulling himself a few steps away from her, he cocked his head, before realizing how confrontational he was being. "I'm sorry but, not all things are for changing.." There.. at least he wasn't leaving his words at a terrible spot.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:27 pm
From such amazing progress to such a sudden regression; Dante's emotional progress was like trying to push a boulder up a hill of ice! Or at the very least was remarkably like what Amary thought such an action would entail, lots of effort to only move backwards. He was so very stubborn, really!
Then again, he had his reasons, and she could respect that. That didn't mean she was going to cower in the face of his rage (quiet as it was) or change her mind, but that DID mean she wasn't going to just stomp her feet and stick out her tongue at him. He was an adult, and she could reason with him like an adult.
However, the issues that truly haunted him were completely foreign to the mare. Having grown up in a family where sex was the way of life and passion was king, the very idea that sex and physical intimacy could ever be something painful or unwanted, something to be forced, was unknown. Even if she DID know, it is likely she wouldn't understand; how does one explain something so utterly foreign?
So as it was, she merely wrinkled her nose slightly at his bringing up morals. Why was that word so popular? "This has nothing to do with morals, Dante; it's about a natural and enjoyable aspect of living. You say you're not attracted to anyone, I say that that's no way to live and it ISN'T, because attraction is a part of what defines us as animals. Now, you can get defensive all you want and assume I'm in this for me, but what I'm saying is you just need more exposure. And maybe I'm NOT your type, maybe you only like mare with green spots or something. But how will you know if you aren't out MEETING mares with green spots, hrm? Making assumptions based on limited interactions is no good, nope."
With that, she gave the stallion a very determined look. "So, I think you should think about THAT while you're worrying about change." Then, to punctuate the arguement, she stuck out her tongue. He wasn't unreasonable, after all...he just needed to think about things!
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:24 am
The stallion continued to frown at the mare, since it seemed this conversation was now hopeless. "What else would you like to preach at me, Amary? If this is what we are going to continue to argue about, then I have no business being here." The arguing back and forth was making him exhausted, especially since Amary wouldn't even listen from his end of the spectrum. That WAS what an argument was, and he assumed that the mare wouldn't budge any more on her word. She had every right to have her own opinion, but Dante didn't want to hear it anymore.
"Well whatever, Amary." With a stern frown, he brought his eyes away from the mare, and moved himself even further from where she stood. It wasn't like him to be so distant to a friend, but now he was questioning whether he should trust the mare at all. "I'm sure now that I have ruined your plans, I am useless to you." Pfft, seriously. Amary's grand plan for the stallion was now shattered, so what was the point of Dante even being around her anymore?
The stallion was as usual peculiar with his thoughts.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:18 am
"Well, pft to you on that, Dante. Who says you were useful to me to begin with, are useful now, or have any claim on the word 'use' in general, hmm? Do you NEED to be useful? And furthermore, am I useful to you? Is that how you justify things, Dante, in whether or not they're useful?"
Though Amary was still frowning, the troubld frown wasn't so much geared at Dante as the utter nonsense he was spewing. Use? How did one go about defining use, anyway, especially when they were talking about another Soquili? Did one prove usefulness by making shelter, finding food, doing all those mundane tasks? Or did the concept of use vary?
Regardless, she didn't like the term. Suggesting that a Soquili 'be of use' smacked of vanity on a level COMPLETELY different than confidence in one's own looks and behaviors, and she didn't like that idea, not one bit. Which is why she had to ask... "So, if you think you're all useless for me, does that mean, on the other hand, that I had to be useful for you to spend time with? Don't you think that two Soquilis can just BE FRIENDS with no strings attached?"
Wrapping her wings around herself with the air of one steeling herself to a grand resolve, Amary gave Dante a shrug. "Me, I don't think that there IS such a thing as 'use'. I told you, and I stand by that fact, that I think attraction and desire are integral parts of life and that you're missing out by not experiencing them and you won't know for sure if you truly lack them until you get out and meet more Soquilis. You disagree and seem to think I only want you to have sex with me and that's the only reason I'm doing anything, since that MUST be the only reason I'd spend time with you."
In a way, it was a legitimate concern; in her life, there WERE stallions Amary knew only by looks and never spoke to beyond a quick suggestion and farewell. But there were ALSO stallions that she DID enjoy talking to, and Dante was one of them. Why else would she have hung around last time as long as she did? It's not like she needed HIM in particular to satisfy her needs, she just liked him. Stallions were so silly sometimes...
Walking over to the much larger stallion, Amary planted her feet and stared at him from a few steps away. "My opinion's not changing, Dante, but if you think that I'm gonna hate you or not want you around or whatever just because of that, then you're a real dreamer. I mean, I do think I would enjoy having sex with you, but if you wouldn't then there's really no point. I mean, just because I'm an ideal to some stallions doesn't mean I am to EVERYONE, and if you don't want me, you don't. I have no problems with that. But if YOU have a problem with that, then you can just say so, you know, 'cause you're really missing the mark on me. Or am I just useless to you now?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:57 pm
"Well, yes." He then answered, while holding a blunt tone. "And I don't expect you to understand why, but that is the way I have always handled things." Seriously though.. how COULD Amary ever understand? He was talking to someone who was completely different in all ways, so there was no way to truly express how he felt to her. That was basically one reason Dante was feeling so flustered, since he hated talking about the issue anyways.
"Look, Amary. I understand everything you are saying, I really do. I appreciate your continuous try in trying to understand my situation. But really, this is a hopeless effort. When I first met you, I thought for once the whole 'use' factor didn't need to be present. I was so excited, since I finally felt accepted for some other reason. But then you pull this whole 'sex' thing on me, and I realized that you DID have a plight coming over here, whether you deny it or not.
I don't look for uses in people, but every since I was a child, that is what others have done to me. I was born as a hopeful use, and then my greatest fear.. my greatest worry.. I was useless to him, so.." With a pause, his eyes were heavy with sadness, and he let long strands of hair shield his face. "Use is all I have, you know. That's what I've been told, and that's what I will use. So I apologize if you misinterpreted what I meant, thinking that I should find use in you or something. But really, when I met you, I knew that use wasn't necessary. You were just you, and that was awesome.
But not all of us are that lucky.. some of us are BORN to have uses, and that's what we have to follow." After finishing his long words, Dante strode past the mare once again, since he really hated being so close to her. Especially in his current state- his shameful state, he did NOT want to look at her. "So, again I am sorry Amary. But we are from different worlds ya know. That's the best way that I could ever explain it."
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:35 pm
Though she let Dante move off without pursuit this time, Amary wasn't exactly content to let the matter rest. After all, he had things so very WRONG! Plight meant that you were in trouble, she's always thought, and she certainly didn't need any help getting out of trouble, then as now. Unless he meant the word in a different sense than she knew, which was also possible, but made things even MORE confusing. It was really something else, spending time with Soquilis that had had different upbringings!
But now that Dante was being more rational and explaining things instead of just being huffy, Amary's own combatitiveness was waning. She didn't like arguing or debating or any of that sort of thing as a rule; it was very much against her typical easy-going nature. Sometimes you had to take a stand...and sometimes, you have to back down.
So she remained as she was, ruffling her feathers silently for a moment as she listened to Dante, then broke into a grin at one particular point. "An interest and a plight are NOT the same thing, Dante, and you snuck up on me originally, remember? If anyone was...plighted...it was you, it seems. But that's ok."
Returning her wings to rest on her back again, Amary turned to look over at Dante, her sparkle firmly back in place. "Bottom line is, we're different Soquilis who were raised two totally different ways, which in the end means we're gonna act different ways and like different things and stuff like that. I don't have to like that about you and don't have to like it about me, but that's the way things are, so I guess we have to deal with it, you know? Otherwise we're only going to spend time grumpy and defensive, and I don't know about you but I REALLY hate being grumpy."
Finishing her own little speech on that note, Amary looked off to the side for a moment, staring into the trees for a thoughtful moment before looking back to Dante with a grin. "So, did you ever find an apple?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:06 pm
..........
Dante could have responded more on the subject, but he didn't. It was a strange feeling, and he continued to blink at Amary quietly. For her to say ALL of that, and then resort to asking such a simple question? Really? Really?!
A question.. that he could only answer with, "Actually no, I still haven't found an apple.." Ironic that after discussing morals, and things that both Dante and Amary were so contrasted about, they were back on such a simple and innocent topic.
Dante sort of preferred it that way, since a continuous argument was so horrible in his mind. But now he felt even MORE exhausted, since he couldn't find a damn apple! "Now that its getting colder, it seems my apple hunt must come to an end. But this Spring, I am sure I will tackle the task."
....Today was weird. VERY weird. So many challenges and surprises, Dante couldn't handle it!
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:21 pm
In many ways, Amary was a very predicatble mare. Her behavior towards stallions, her zeal for life, her near constant state of energy high...and the fact that if she didn't want to deal with something, she didn't. She didn't want to talk about the 'use' issue, so she changed the subject, simple as that. Besides, apples were serious business!
"You haven't? Well, that's a bummer; I was thinking that it was getting to be a bit late in the season, what with the fact it's almost winter and all...but you never know. Some of the two leggers pick them and save them over winter, and sometimes they put them out for Soquili to eat when it's cold out. They might be a bit wrinkly, but they're still sweet!"
Grinning, Amary looked over at Dante, her eyes dancing. "Just make sure you don't get one that's gone bad, or you'll be out of your mind and tripping over your own feet from the juice!"
Yep, this was MUCH better than bickering.
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