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 Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:48 pm
Talon-chan RoseRose I'm 20, and I know I want kids. I know it will be no walk in the park, but I love children, and I love taking care of them. I currently work in childcare! And I love it. It's frustrating, exhausting, and very rewarding, in the most intangible sense possible. It'll be even harder to have kids of my own... but, damn, I want them... I can't even articulate why, I just know I do. See, I support that. You know you want them, you know why, and you know the reality of the situation (that it won't be easy or fun all the time). The sad fact is, most people don't have even a tiny idea what it is really like... they think they do... but they don't and then you get women like these in this study who are blindsided by the reality of childbirth when, while pregnant and before, everyone else was busy making them think it would be the best thing ever as if they were in on a conspiracy to be sure she is just as miserable as they are. Ooops... did I forget to say that part? BECAUSE I have some idea (though not a complete one, I know) I believe that only people who want to should have children. It's too damn hard for people who aren't ready and fully willing.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:54 pm
I want to adopt a child when I'm married and everything in my life is stable so I'll have the money and a good environment to raise a child. I doubt that would take much of a toll on my social life... things would just be a bit different because I would have to raise a child, obviously but there wouldn't be any drastic changes to my life. (I want to adopt an older kid, not an infant)
EDIT: I believe that children are only rewarding to people that wanted them and it would help if parents have the resources and time to actually raise a child.
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:42 am
LadyInWhite "Who needs kids when you have cats!" is my favorite saying. whee
Ugh, kids seem more and more like the worst possible thing to have these days. D; The majority are so unruly and annoying and just, ugh-ish! I wish their parents would smack them. ><
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:21 pm
The_Thread _Reaper Even more statistical backup that supports my want to live a childfree life! I'm glad someone finally put numbers to it. Now I've just gotta figure out what exactly caused my phobia of small children...my phobia of pregnancy/childbirth shouldn't even be considered a phobia considering what childbirth actually involves.. You guys are right, a lot of people really DO sugarcoat it..horribly. No wonder it's considered abnormal to be intensely afraid of it, it's made out to be minor, a happy moment of straight bliss and relief..but it's not. When I look at it, how the hell is it normal NOT to be afraid of going through all that pain and stress..and having your body physically TORN open, all while being vulnerable and at the mercy of mother nature? It sounds like a cruel scene from some kind of sadistic horror movie to me..not to mention the 18 years of service that comes afterwards. No motherhood for me..bleehh.. Thank you! The idea of childbirth absolutely terrifies me. If I somehow became pregnant, and was forced to keep it for whatever reason, I'd have a breakdown. I'm definately not having my own kids, but I might adopt. Peppermint Schnapps Lord Setar MGadda LadyInWhite "Who needs kids when you have cats!" is my favorite saying. whee The way I see it, a cat gets you a better return on the whole "pitter-patter of little feet" situation... four feet per unit, instead of two! xd Cats are also cute and fuzzy, and do awesomely crazy antics. My cat loves to chase after bugs, it's hilarious to watch her jump about six feet up to try and get a fly. my cat makes cute little chirping noises whenever he jumps. :3 he pisses me off sometimes, though. for example, he'll be eating his catfood and decide he doesn't like some peices of it so he'll throw them all over the floor. whenever i walk in the kitchen after he eats i get catfood stuck to my socks. i can't imagine how crazy a kid would drive me. >.> i've known since i was little that motherhood was a royal pain in the a**. that might have something to do with the fact that my mom was a single parent raising 3, and eventually 4 kids. i really have no ******** idea how she kept her sanity through it. if i was a religious person, i'd nominate her for sainthood. =/ My kitty's awesome. She meows, she plays, she does weird random things, she sleeps in everyone's bed for an hour everynight so nobody's left out. heart
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 3:14 pm
Ah, kittens... My mother calls my kittens her grandcats. smile I have 2 little kitties that I love very much. I found them abandoned out in the cul-de-sac this summer. The poor things were so sick and dehydrated. I apparently did a good job of nursing them back to health, because now they are so full of energy and cuteness. 3nodding The girl kitten is named sweety (she has a cleft lip that makes her look adorable and like she tasted something nasty at the same time), and her brother is named rollo. I will upload some new pictures I took of them, because they are such beautiful cats. They look like they are half Siamese and half tabby.
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 5:25 pm
My mom is probably gonna have grandkitties too..hopefully Norwegian Forest Cats (wegies <3)...I'm basically a doctor doolittle type of person so she's probably gonna have some grandkoi and grandbunnies too xd
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 1:34 pm
At one point, I found a psych study which came to the conclusion that children do *not* bring happiness into a relationship and that the more children you have, the more it becomes a problem.
As of right now, my mother has a grandschip. (My little Ursula puppy is a Schipperke.)
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:51 pm
Munkers At one point, I found a psych study which came to the conclusion that children do *not* bring happiness into a relationship and that the more children you have, the more it becomes a problem. As of right now, my mother has a grandschip. (My little Ursula puppy is a Schipperke.) Got any links?
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:46 am
Lord Setar Munkers At one point, I found a psych study which came to the conclusion that children do *not* bring happiness into a relationship and that the more children you have, the more it becomes a problem. As of right now, my mother has a grandschip. (My little Ursula puppy is a Schipperke.) Got any links? I'd have to go digging through Ebsco. I'll see if I can dig it back up though.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:27 am
Munkers At one point, I found a psych study which came to the conclusion that children do *not* bring happiness into a relationship and that the more children you have, the more it becomes a problem. As of right now, my mother has a grandschip. (My little Ursula puppy is a Schipperke.) That really doesn't surprise me at all. Although the link would be cool. I only want two kids. England is overpopulated as it is, so two kids to replace the footprint me and my partner are leaving is fine. No middle child, no only child. Being a middle child myself I don't want my children to deal with that. So I have reasons. And luckily my partner wants two children, since he's an only child and thinks he would have liked a sibling to play with.
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Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:59 am
Thanks for posting this topic! heart
It totally goes against the society brainwashing that "bebbies totally rawk", the brainwashing that goes on that women should want kids.
It makes me want to reach out and educate women and warn them before they have kids, because I see so many women who are totally lost in their "baby daddies", and I see one too many single moms out there. Pregnancy is actually not a walk in the park, it hurts like hell and it's life altering. Women get lost in thinking that the "baby daddies" out there really like them, but most of them are just interesting in ********' them and droppin' them.
But then there's women and people who get angry when I don't say "YAY BEBBIES!" ... but more babies just CAN'T be A GOOD thing for the women involved nor the planet! sad
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Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:52 pm
Grip, I agree that women need more education, but for SOME women (I don't know what percentage, I just know that I, and some other women I know) DO want children, and have worked with children before, and know it isn't a walk in the park... and we've decided that having children is good for US.
Broad generalizations tend to be too broad.
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Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 11:09 pm
RoseRose Grip, I agree that women need more education, but for SOME women (I don't know what percentage, I just know that I, and some other women I know) DO want children, and have worked with children before, and know it isn't a walk in the park... and we've decided that having children is good for US. Broad generalizations tend to be too broad. Why not adopt? There's lots of unwanted children out there even if the world has contraception and abortion, just as there are unwanted pets (which could also work as substitute "children", same with volunteering or working with kids). I know there are sentimental, emotionally-attached reasons for making new children, but I have *yet* to see a sound, logical argument for reproducing. Especially when considering the current and future possible state of Earth. Having new children puts a strain on the planet, which I know is not pro-choice friendly a statement but I doubt that a parent has enough foresight to think about how little Johnny or little Emily will worry about having access to enough clean, pure water when they are 18.
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 4:29 am
Grip of Death RoseRose Grip, I agree that women need more education, but for SOME women (I don't know what percentage, I just know that I, and some other women I know) DO want children, and have worked with children before, and know it isn't a walk in the park... and we've decided that having children is good for US. Broad generalizations tend to be too broad. Why not adopt? There's lots of unwanted children out there even if the world has contraception and abortion, just as there are unwanted pets (which could also work as substitute "children", same with volunteering or working with kids). I know there are sentimental, emotionally-attached reasons for making new children, but I have *yet* to see a sound, logical argument for reproducing. Especially when considering the current and future possible state of Earth. Having new children puts a strain on the planet, which I know is not pro-choice friendly a statement but I doubt that a parent has enough foresight to think about how little Johnny or little Emily will worry about having access to enough clean, pure water when they are 18. Here's a logical statement: the point about emotions is that they're illogical. If you have yet to see a sound logical statement on why to have kids of your own, why not try applying that to anything else? Let's take love. It is sensible and logical to fall in love with someone who will treat you well, who brings stability to a relationship, someone who is your best friend. Do we do these things? Not necessarily. I mean, yes, people get married for those reasons, but don't necessarily fall in love for them. My relationship is stable, sure, but I can't tell you WHY I love my partner. I just do. He makes me happy for no reason at all, and I love being around him. No logic there. And there's no logic in why I want children, either. It's selfish and irrational - I think my country's going down the shithole, I hate the world today and I won't be in any sort of position to have children for five or more years. But I still want them. Thinking that people should have rational reasons for doing everything they do is irrational all by itself. Human nature just isn't like that.
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:25 am
Seeing the Kraken Grip of Death RoseRose Grip, I agree that women need more education, but for SOME women (I don't know what percentage, I just know that I, and some other women I know) DO want children, and have worked with children before, and know it isn't a walk in the park... and we've decided that having children is good for US. Broad generalizations tend to be too broad. Why not adopt? There's lots of unwanted children out there even if the world has contraception and abortion, just as there are unwanted pets (which could also work as substitute "children", same with volunteering or working with kids). I know there are sentimental, emotionally-attached reasons for making new children, but I have *yet* to see a sound, logical argument for reproducing. Especially when considering the current and future possible state of Earth. Having new children puts a strain on the planet, which I know is not pro-choice friendly a statement but I doubt that a parent has enough foresight to think about how little Johnny or little Emily will worry about having access to enough clean, pure water when they are 18. Here's a logical statement: the point about emotions is that they're illogical. If you have yet to see a sound logical statement on why to have kids of your own, why not try applying that to anything else? Let's take love. It is sensible and logical to fall in love with someone who will treat you well, who brings stability to a relationship, someone who is your best friend. Do we do these things? Not necessarily. I mean, yes, people get married for those reasons, but don't necessarily fall in love for them. My relationship is stable, sure, but I can't tell you WHY I love my partner. I just do. He makes me happy for no reason at all, and I love being around him. No logic there. And there's no logic in why I want children, either. It's selfish and irrational - I think my country's going down the shithole, I hate the world today and I won't be in any sort of position to have children for five or more years. But I still want them. Thinking that people should have rational reasons for doing everything they do is irrational all by itself. Human nature just isn't like that. You said what I was thinking better than I could have, Seeing the Kraken... thank you And also, you know what? I plan on adopting as well as having my own children. And one more thing- working with kids is NOT the same as having them. I work with children right now, and I know it isn't the same. Working with kids isn't making me less want to be a parent, it's making me want to be one MORE.
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