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 Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:36 pm
*Clever remained quiet and grabbed his hand. She lead him out of the boathouse and to the shore line where they could sit down. She sat at looked up to him, waiting for him to do the same.*
"You can tell me what's really bothering you, if you want."
*It was obvious Hikaru had much more on his mind the he was letting on,*
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:41 pm
*Hikaru was surprised when Clever took his hand, he normally would have done something like that himself. However, he felt guilty holding her hand after what had just happened, but also felt like it would be rude to let go, so he held on. He followed her silently out of the boathouse and to the shore as she sat down. He sat down as well when she looked up at him. He looked over to her and listened to her words. He instantly thought that he couldn't tell her, not without looking like a huge jerk, and bit insane. He shrugged somewhat like a child would and looked at the ground as he spoke.*
It is...difficult to explain without making the world hate me. These are problems I need to bother you with, heh. We just met, we should be talking about fun things, or getting to know one another...like asking what your favorite color is and stuff.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:54 pm
"my favorite colour is red."
*She chuckled at little, then looked to him all serious like again. There was a degree of understanding in her eyes. She understood perfectly well why he wouldn't want to talk about it but she also knew it always helped to talk about problems.*
"If you explain and someone 'ates you, they aren't worth the trouble in the first place. I could tell you now that I wouldn't 'ate you."
*Clever gave him a reassuring smile then looked to the water thinking about something. As she made up her mind she showed him her wrists. In the pale light he would still be able to see the scars that ran vertically down two inches.*
"I'll share something with you, I 'aven't really told anyone..but no telling."
*She seemed stern on that matter, then with a little sigh she continued.*
"When I was younger, about twelve, I 'it a low point. Everything was going 'orribley, my mother was missing, my father was killed, and it felt like I was being watched all the time. I didn't know 'ow to 'andle any of it."
*She paused at looked at her own wrists*
"I tried to find an easy out, I remember picking up the knife but after that it gets fuzzy. I woke up in a 'ospital a few days later.."
*Clever didn't continue.*
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:04 pm
*Hikaru managed to smile softly as Clever told him her favorite color. He appreciated her efforts. He somehow doubted that Clever wouldn't at least feel different about him if he confessed what he had done to Synge and with Keira just earlier tonight. He was about to say something when Clever brought her wrists up for him to see. He looked at the scars and remembered how he had seen them last night. He was shocked that she was going to tell him something that seemed so important to her, but he listened silently, now looking at her eyes and not the scars. As she explained things he seemed to understand where the story was going. He felt saddened by this thought but even more upset when he heard he was right. He put his around arm around her in a gentle way and pulled her close as he rubbed her shoulder softly. He did this in a friendly way, and for once, wasn't hitting on anyone. His voice was sincere.*
I'm sorry Clever. I wish you wouldn't have hurt yourself, but I'm really glad you made it out alright. I won't tell anyone, I promise...
*He stayed silent a moment and seemed to realize why she told him this. It was to make him feel like he too could talk. He sighed softly and tried to at least give her something.*
I...I am, or was, in love with someone...I don't know, maybe I still am...but she's with someone else...and I got so desperate the other day...and kissed her...I'm sure she'll hate me forever now, and it seems that Cap guy knows about it too...and he'll probably tell her boyfriend and he'll hate me, and possibly be upset with her because I don't think she has told him yet...I've ruined so much with my stupid feelings...That's why I always...
*He stopped and looked at her. He couldn't hold her while he confessed this stuff. He slipped his arm away and looked to the ground.*
I always mess around with people...not caring how they feel and just using them for physical things...I've done it always, to hide my true feelings...and now I'm lost...Left with nothing but confusion and the sudden realization that I'm hurting people...here...and I could even hurt you...
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:15 pm
*when he put her arm around her she smiled. Clever didn't look sad as she told her story, she look sort of like she was remember a broken arm as a child or something. As Hikaru started to open up to her, she felt a small bond. Happy that he was talking about what was bothering him.*
"She shouldn't 'ate you. You can't 'elp how you feel about someone and shouldn't be blamed when those emotions can't be contained anymore and burst out. You only kissed 'er. If it was any worse then you could feel guilty."
*As he removed his arm she shivered ever so slightly.*
"You can't 'elp being confused either, with so many choices in the world it is easy to loose sight of what you are truley after. You 'ave to see what works and what doesn't and know what you want in the end."
*Clever wondered if he followed what she was saying*
"You can't be afraid of 'urting someone. It's that kind of fear that keeps you from the things you want most in life."
*She gave him a smile*
"And don't worry if you 'urt me, I am stronger than I look."
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:24 pm
*Hikaru started to feel a bit better the moment Clever started speaking to him. He had a bit of a hard time believing that Synge wouldn't hate him, but her words still helped ease his heart a bit. Somehow, what Clever was saying about having so many choices and having to see what works made perfect sense to him. He looked at her now and watched her finish speaking. He was feeling like he wasn't such a terrible person after all. When she smiled he was able to smile. He was comforted by her words and truly felt like he didn't have to worry as much anymore. Of course, he still would to some degree, but after this, he was feeling much lighter. He remember how she had shivered a bit as he had taken his arm away and he quickly put it back in an innocent way. He didn't say anything for a while. He looked at her face, seeing her eyes, mouth, and all her features. He was admiring what had just spoken so wisely. Then he looked out to the sea and sighed softly.*
It can be difficult, can't it? Living, that is. I think you're right though...you have a way with words Miss Harker. You have eased my heart a little with them and I thank you for that.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:31 pm
*Clever blushed fiercely at his compliments, his looks, his arm around her shoulder. It made her a little uneasy to feel this way, she hadn't know him long at all and yet she felt so close. She looked at him, his intense blue eyes, the way he spoke, how she wanted to kiss him. Clever held herself back, it would be mean to but him in that position. She leaned into him a little so she could be closer, he was warm, and smelled nice.*
"Life would be boring if you didn't have to try 'ard at it. But I am glad that I could 'elp make you feel better. I 'urt to see you upset."
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:38 pm
*Hikaru saw Clever blushing and he smiled softly, acknowledging her thoughts. He wouldn't do what he normally would though, his thoughts were too muddled for that right now, and somehow it felt like Clever deserved better than his "normal" self. As she leaned a little closer he let his arm help her, pulling her as close as she could comfortably get. He nodded at her words, but looked at her when she said it hurt her. He looked a bit confused, but flattered.*
Aw, you shouldn't concern yourself with me. You're too lovely to be concerned with me.
*He smiled and hugged her tightly for a moment with his arm and the released. He looked out to the water and spoke of something that just seemed to flow out without his control.*
It is strange, how people seem to have such a duality about them. I'm an extreme case I think. Sometimes I forget who I really am...
*He stopped abruptly, feeling embarrassed that he just spoken about that out loud. The only person he had talked to about this subject was Synge, because she was so similar to him in this regard.*
((30 minute warning, early class again sadly.))
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:52 pm
((sorry took so long to repsond then))
*Clever was glad when he ushered closer, she almost wanted to fall asleep in his arms.*
"I will concern myself with what I want to concern myself with."
*She grinned. At looked out to the ocean with half lidden eyes.*
"I think that 'appens to all of us sometimes. Forgetting who we are.. if it doesn't 'appen to everyone then, at least it 'appens to mean sometimes."
*Clever often didn't feel like herself when she hadn't slept for days, or when she let her emotions take control. She always tried to seem together. A little yawn escaped from her lips, for once she felt sleepy, and she thanked Hikaru for it.*
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:57 pm
((No problem. Not tired, just feel like I should sleep soon because of stupid class haha))
*Hikaru couldn't help but smile as Clever set him straight and grinned. He watched her as she looked out to the water. Her face in the moonlight was something special, it made him smile. He nodded at her words of wisdom about forgetting oneself. It seemed that she was capable of understanding him. He was glad. When she yawned he laughed softly and gently pushed her head onto his shoulder, as if to say she could use him as a pillow.*
Heh, getting a little tired? I guess I wore you out with all my silly talking.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:02 pm
((Lol I do the exact same thing))
"Oh don't blame yourself, I 'aven't *yawn' slept in two or three days, at least not long."
*Clever moved into his lap, and layed her head on his chest. He was so sexy out in the moonlight*
" 'ope I'm not too 'eavy"
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:08 pm
(( 3nodding ))
*HIkaru raised an eyebrow as Clever admitted how long she had been without real sleep. He was more than fine with her moving into his lap and laying her head on his chest. He liked how she kind of curled up on him and he hoped it would help her to fall asleep at least. His thoughts were more pure tonight than they had been in a long time. He smiled and started to rub her back gently.*
Of course you aren't too heavy, have you seen how small you are? Silly. Almost as silly as you not sleeping for so long. I hope what keeps you up at night isn't too bad...And don't worry about falling sleeping on me, I'll bring you back to your room if you do.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:13 pm
(( 3nodding ))
*Clever noticed her eyes dropping, barely able to keep them open*
"I get bouts of insomnia..."
*She thought about what she was going to say next, she wanted to ask him to take her back to his room. Was it inappropriate? She remained silent.*
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:17 pm
*Hikaru continued to rub her back gently. He could feel her relaxing into a sleepy state in his arms. He felt for once that he was comforting someone in a way. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head after she answered his question. It was an innocent sort of kiss, a very different kind for Hikaru.*
Well, that would explain it. I hope you can start getting some better sleep soon then...Do you want me to take you back now? If you don't think you can sleep in your room I can put you on a couch, or wherever you want to go.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:21 pm
*Clever grinned at his kiss, then then eased herself out of his lap and stood up yawning.*
"Can I crash with you tonight?"
((EDITED))
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