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 Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:31 pm
The peace was okay inside the drifting nothing. There was nothing wrong. It was easy to get lost.
He couldn't remember why, but he didn't care too much for doors.
And looking at the door made his head hurt.
Made everything hurt. Because...it was him. He was the door, and somebody didn't want him reaching it.
He struggled through the pain, and grasped the handle.
Harrison left nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:10 pm
The absolute nothingness she felt, the all encompassing peace, it should have been blissful after everything she had been through. The destruction of her home, the destruction of family and friends, the struggles with insanity, and her own torrential emotions that she could just never seem to get under control. It should have given her content.
But it didn't.
She was a woman of war, after all. Peace was a foreign thing. Strife and chaos, while unfortunate, was what she thrived on. So no, she did not feel like she wanted to stay here, she was only too happy to leave this strange and uncomfortable feeling behind.
But then there was an offer to leave a part of herself behind, a part of her to forget. An event, a person.
Everything.
To say she wasn't tempted would have been a lie. There was much she had been through, and it was hard for her to tell if she had been made better for it, or if forgetting it ever happened would help push her forward and be the thing to make her better. There was a person in her life that she often thought made her weak. There were things that had happened to her that had left deep scars on her soul, if she even had one to begin with. These things could be forgotten, if she wished them to be. She could leave it behind. She could tear out her heart, which even as she began to move towards the door, had begun to sear with pain. Or her legs, which felt as though they were burning, their very nerves aflame. Her arms, every joint in agony. Her whole body. The pain was almost excruciating.
If she could have laughed, she would have.
She'd been through worse then this, much much worse. She did not wish to forget anything, she just wished to move on. She needed this pain, the pain of her memories. They were what shaped her, what made her who she was today. Even if she was no longer so proud, no longer so sure, leaving behind anything to get that feeling of pride back was like cheating, and Shaheen didn't cheat.
She fought. She survived. She worked for it. She would remain honest to herself, and to do that, she needed to keep what memories she had left, and regain any she might have lost.
She pushed her way through the door, and left nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:20 pm
Do you wish to return?
The words startled Alex at first, and he blinked at the door that was just suddenly there, in front of him, waiting for him to push through. It was so peaceful here, so quiet and comfortable and warm. At first he wanted to shake his head, to say no, that he would more then happily remain here where he felt safe and secure and free of everything terrible that had happened to him in the year and several months.
But his friends were not here. His family was not here. Those that were most important to him, that he cherished, were not here. If he remained, he would be alone, without them.
The door repeated his question, it's dark shape ominous, foreboding, but slowly he gave his head a nod. He wanted to return. He wanted to be able to see everyone again. He missed everyone so much.
He could return, but he could also leave behind his pain.
Of course, he considered it, as he shuffled towards that door he considered it. His whole body hurt in ways he never thought could be possible. But what would he choose to forget? He would not give up on his love, his friendships. He would not choose to forget his past decisions. He would not lie to himself.
He struggled forward, and he pushed against the door, leaving nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:24 pm
Finn didn't know what to think. Here he was being given an offer, to forget, to leave his pain behind. What pain? What possible thing in his life was he honestly so upset about that he would leave it behind? Friends? He had none. Or at least, ha had very few to note. Loved ones? That was almost laughable. All he'd had left was his mother, and he had cut her out of his life as soon as he was old enough to move out and live on his own. She was nothing more then a thing of the past, and the past was where she would remain, forever. He was glad he would never have to see her again, and could easily move on with his life without dwelling on her existence, as he could just pretend that she actually didn't exist at all.
His dad's death? No...no that was a turning point in his life, a stage he refused to forget, no matter what it might mean. No matter if it might make him a "better person". He had no regrets for his choices. He didn't care about things he had done or said, or anybody he had hurt along the way. He had nothing, in his mind to apologize for. His dad's death had taught him many things, many truth's about life, and it was those things that he refused to forget.
And so what was he left with to forget?
He was already a blank slate. He'd already begun a new life and put his past behind him. He had signed up for something that had effectively cut him off from anything that he used to be, something that killed his former self and gave him a chance to start anew. It would be up to him how to live from now on, though one thing was still for certain.
He would never regret anything.
That didn't mean he couldn't change.
He ignored the pain, because it was no longer a thing to care about. Even if it was almost debilitating in nature he saw no reason to stop and shed any of it.
He pushed through the door and left nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:28 pm
Mathias found himself encompassed by peace, by silence, by absolute contentment. There were no struggles here, inwardly or outwardly. There was no need to prove himself. There was no need to fight anymore.
There was no pain.....at least, not at first. Then there was pain, enough to make him gasp, enough to make his little body shudder. The door was speaking to him...no, not just a door, but himself. He was making himself the offer to leave his pain behind.
Nein.
He thought to himself.
There are no memories I wish to lose, none so painful that I can not overcome them.
He pushed his way through the door, and left nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:36 pm
He paused a moment before the door. It pulsed with an electric shock, with his own essence, and the painful memory of so much he had lost.
Did he really want to go back to that?? ...
He wasn't certain why, as he hadn't been certain then, but somehow, he felt this pain was necessary. Moreso, it was important ... To him!
To him! It was a part of him! How could he part with that, troublesome as it could be?? ... After all, being who he was, even if it meant pain, was better than living a lie. Kiwi chose to leave nothing behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:44 pm
Kettil didn't mind the pain - be it a little or a lot of it. He had made his choices and he would stick by them. For him ripping out his pain was a sign of weakness. It would not lead him into becoming greater, better than he was before, it would lead him to ruin whether he forgot about it or not. Thus he chose to leave nothing behind as he moved forward. The pain was a reward from a challenge met.
-------------------------
Yuzhi was in pain but she wasn't in so much pain that she couldn't bear it. She could live with her emotional, psychological, and physical pains. She could carry on and become stronger for what she had gone through. She had made herself a promise when she faced the reflection and to see that promise through - she had to bear the pain.
She left nothing behind as she went forward.
-------------------------
Pain is part of an Engraver's life. Lattice did not see a reason to give up any of her pain. If it hurt that meant that she was still in existence. That she was still in one peace to be able to care for those closest to her. She moved on and left nothing behind. She did not wish to wipe anything clear of her memory because she felt content with it all.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:44 pm
So quiet, so peaceful, it was so nice to have let everything go. Not to have to worry about anything at all. But that door persists that she just wants it to go away. As she just want to float here in peace.
"Do you wish to return?"
Tori just wanted five more minutes in this blissful peace.
"Do you with to return?"
Then she realized that door was her and she listed careful to what was being said. Oh that was so very tempting to leave the pain behind. As her body is racked with such intense pain of remembering everything. Still she wouldn't give her burdens to others to bare and suffer for her. So much pain, taking deep breaths as it hurt to just move. Even now it was still very tempting to do so. To give in and be free... NO!! Tori said to herself. She would bare her own burdens no mater the pain, like she always has and always would do so and to never forget as that was just who she was. A warm presence Tori could feel within as he was happy with what ever choice she would make to be there when ever needed.
Tori was happy to have had a choice for this gift and thankful for it, but she would be leaving nothing behind. What was hers was hers to keep. Pushing thought all the pain did she walk forward pushing thought the door.
---------
Both Khyten and Telma choose to leave nothing behind and push thought there own doors.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:17 pm
He felt pain, but it was an easy sort of pain, bearable and simple. The best kinds of pains were the pains that did not sink too deeply, that were not complicated. With a light, casual smile on his face, Ian stepped through the door and left nothing behind.
---------------------
As for Mengyao - he was not about to forget anything either, and also went through with nothing left behind.
----------------------
It wasn't easy.
It was never easy.
He stood in front of the door with everything weighing on him and felt as though he were drowning in it. A part of him knew that things such as this would make him feel not better, per say, but different.
Different was not bad, but he knew he couldn't do this for much longer.
Gale lifted his chin, took a breath, and stepped through the door, leaving his heart behind.
----------------------
Last but not least to walk through the door was Ren - without his head.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:23 pm
This... was nice. The freedom from pain, from memories, everything that seemed to weigh her down was nice. Peaceful. Maybe this was the best way to continue? It was just so inviting. Well, almost inviting.
The door.
The door didn't make her feel so at peace. She shied away from it. Avoided it.
She liked the peace and-
"Do you wish to return?
Return? Return where? Leave here? It was too nice here!
"Do you wish to return?
She fidgeted, glancing at the door. And a heavy realization hit her. The door... was her. It didn't make sense, and yet, it did.
"We can return you."
... Really?
Discard? She had to... discard part of their burden? A part... of herself? Is that what they meant? It was, an appealing offer. To leave her pain behind. Or the things, deep down, that kept her weighted down. And they had a chance to be rid of them!
No...
No? But it would be so much easier!
NO! No it wouldn't!
But...
No. She blinked, looking down at her hand. It was splayed protectively against her heart. No...
Pain. Her whole body was in pain. A soft gasp escaped as she crumbled and could no longer move. It hurt. Oh Jack but it hurt! But... they were all precious. She couldn't give them up! Even if it hurt carrying them with her. This was who she was. Who she would be. And she would not change it for anything.
Gritting her teeth, LW pushed herself shakily to her feet. And with renewed determination, she slammed herself through the door. She would leave nothing behind.
---------
Well, this was nice. Peaceful. Much different from everything else. Once could get used to such a place as this. And how easy it would be to live like that.
Yet that was kind of cheating, wasn't it? And cheating was not really her style.
Fini stared at the door, face distorting with pain as the 'gift' to forget said pain dangled tantalizingly in front of her. It would be so very easy to just let go of it all. Forget what caused that pain. Forget a part of herself...
She couldn't do it. That last thought was too much. She couldn't give up a part of herself, no matter how attractive the idea was. Shoving herself towards the door, Fini left nothing behind and took everything with her.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:05 pm
It took some thought. Deryk stared down towards the 'ground' for some time as he was thinking things over. He felt like he was a pretty big failure of a hunter. He's messed up a ton, here and there.
Maybe he could do without one less fail...
With some hesitation, he tore his legs off, then moved on.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:07 pm
The peace of the moment was finally broken when Mitsu was faced by a door. It would have been like any other time but this door was unsettling. She didn't want to approach it and instead took a step back and away.
"Do you wish to return?"
The voice was her own but coming from the door. She still couldn't walk toward it though, not just yet. Not until it explained what could happen. What she could leave behind. Her pain and the terrible weight of certain memories she could leave here. It was probably selfish to consider it but she could feel the ache start to grow as her memories began to overwhelm her. Her head was suddenly pounding, as white hot pain flared up behind her eyes and spread throughout her skull.
She could remember her greatest regret. Above all her fear of what had happened on the hunter's island her true regret was in a decision. Her decision to blindly help a stranger and get others involved. She had acted irrationally, without thinking, and had not only put herself in danger but everyone else. Mitsu was glad she had been the only one to suffer the consequences but if she could erase that moment in time. Forget everything that happened after....
Her head began to hurt so much she couldn't bare it. Pressing her hands to her skull she tried to keep the voices and the memory of that time at bay but everything got louder, clearer. The darkness of the haunted house, the brightness of her cell, the glint of metal, and the featureless faces.
It was all too much until she finally began to use her strength, ripping at her own head just hoping for the pain to stop. Anything to make it go away. To say it was an easy task or even a sane one was an understatement but finally she pulled her head free of her shoulders. With just that action she could feel the pain begin to ebb as everything began to fade. Yes, she would leave her head behind.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:13 pm
On the other side of the door, Shun turned to see the world was being cleansed, as Protection used their memories to reshape the world. He tilted his head slowly, watching this happened, while not entirely paying attention to where he was going. At some point, he bumped into another entity. Turning, he was a little surprised to see that they were without a head.
This one had chosen to give something up.
Though, after a moment, he realized that he may know who this is. The clothes she wore were the main indication for him, along with the fluffy white tail behind.
"Mitsu..?" he started as he stared at her. He wasn't entirely certain still, "You... have no head."
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:20 pm
Being without a head was a little awkward. Maybe it was due to the fact that she was still alive. How did the undead manage this?
She shuffled forward slowly, aimlessly until she felt someone bump into her. It made her stumble a little since she was keeping her footsteps so tightly together but she regained her balance quickly. She could also hear a voice which didn't raise the question of how could she hear.
"Shun?" Or talk.
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Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:22 pm
He floated in nothingness, in peace. It wrapped around him and enveloped him, shielding him from the dark glare of the door. But the door’s gaze was unrelenting, and it spoke, repeating its question and pressing him for an answer.
Efflo knew, as he drifted quietly. He knew what his answer was. Memories sadness, grief and bitterness had been offered to Excalibur and though he did not remember them, he still felt a new freeness. Yet despite this feeling, something sill chained him down, an anklet of despondence that kept him from being totally free. It clinked in his mind as he moved, a metaphorical bind that he was unable to shake despite the peace that the vacant nothingness offered.
So he turned to the door, listening to its offer. He could return, and leave the last vestiges of his unhappiness behind. He could leave behind his greatest failure, which ironically, as he floated in nothingness, was simply nothing. It was a period of time that he’d closed himself off to everyone and everything, and chose instead to wallow in the misery of his solitude. He could remember his first days, and even weeks at Amityville clearly, from the opening ceremonies, to the boats, to meeting his first friends, Alwine and Calder.
He would keep those, because they were not failures. They were his first memories of hopefulness and happiness that he had turned away from. After those early memories, his school life became a blur of depression as he tucked into himself and away from everything else, ignoring his classes, his friends, his everything. There was his failure at prom, one that stood out particularly sore against the mass of sadness. He’d been excited about the chance to pull someone’s carriage, for some reason getting dressed in fine trappings and harnesses had made him happy as a horse, feeling proud to pull the couple to their destination. But he’d been apprehensive and he’d balked, and the whole thing fell through as he ran away and back into hiding. For two years of his life he’d spent it being miserable and alone, all out of his own ignorance. For two years he’d rebuked everyone and everything, and it turned him bitter and afraid.
He didn’t want to feel like that anymore. Not with the memories of Gabriel tucked preciously in his heart. He didn’t want to be afraid to move forward, held back by his fear of the past. He didn’t want to push anyone away, and he definitely didn’t want to lose his most beloved person because of his own inability to deal.
It hurt his legs to think of the days he’d spent wandering alone. He travelled over the paths where hundreds of others had travelled daily, but he wanted nothing to do with those other paths. His footsteps had stamped over theirs, erasing them until there was nothing left but his own trail. His legs ached now, as he remembered, as though it had only just happened, and his muscles were burning from having walked for days without rest.
He wanted to be rid of his legs. He wanted to forget those two years of his life.
He reached down, and he clawed at his legs. But it was with a measured franticness that he de-limbed himself, his nails digging into his skin with a steady measure. There was no urgency, only the simple determination that they must come off, and that they would. It was the same determination that had kept him going all this way, this determination to beat his sadness, to reunite with his love, to survive and just exist. With each piece of flesh and muscle that he tore away, his heart felt lighter, his existence less futile. It hurt, the pain screaming upwards through his entire body but the pain was refreshing. It was freeing, just as giving up his unpleasant memories had been. So he bit his lip in concentration, and agony, and tore off his legs.
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