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 Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:26 pm
Hey Rei, you need to add something to the title before Sory will accept it. Check the rp rules to find out what it is.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:43 pm
OH SHI.
Thanks for reminding me.
I read those things and I always forget to ATTRIBUTE THEM.
Edited below:
Okay, as far as what I saw goes, I made the corrections necessary.
I hope I didnt miss anything.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 5:08 pm
STARLIT STRUGGLE What Goes Here?Name: Rei
Nickname/Alias: Rei
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Appearance:
Height: 5'5
Weight: 120lbs
Body Type: Lean
Skin type: Pale
Eye Color: Yellow
Hair Color: White
Hair Style: Shoulder length, straight.
Clothing: Kimono's.
Unusual Body Art/Parts: None.
Yurei
Race:
Theme Song(s):
Significant Trait: Deep and pitiless eyes.
Quotes: "Not very elegant."
"Nobodies and Heartless don't really seem that different."
"Just because we are not complete, doesn't mean we are not as strong."
Good/Evil: Neutral Evil
Homeworld: Land of Dragons
Main Weapon: Chain claws.
Additional Equipment:
Job Class: Nobody: Dancer/Dragoon blend.
Nobody Element: Fox Spirit Dancer/Dragoon class Nobody
Attack Abilities: Learn- Rei can learn techniques used against her and temporarily fight back with them.
Lethal Dance- Rei attempts to grab hold, either with her chain claws or her hands, and pull the enemy into a frenzied dance.
Wreck Twister- Rei goes into a spin, accelerating to swing with chains or daggers.
Support Abilities:Charge- Rei gathers energy and pushes it into her weapons to increase attack damage.
Slow dance- An ability that slowly heals Rei as long as she is able to dance uninterrupted.
Passive Abilities: Honor of China- Ups speed and strength in a pinch.
Sandweaver- Rei is not slowed or weakened by terrain effects.
Limit Breaks: Dragoon Dance - A limit involving a series of dancing moves and downward lunges, taking the attacks of Dancers and Dragoons into one.
Explosion - A flurry of dance attacks, ended by a concussive thrust to push the enemy far away.
Strengths: Nimble and agile, hard to hit and quick.
Weaknesses: Low health and defense, and susceptible to Reversal when in close combat.
Personality: Rei is gentle and kind for a nobody, though she shares the Nobodies lack of understanding to love and stronger heart emotions. Rei is merciful and outspoken, always voicing her opinions when they differ, and letting her actions speak as loudly as her words, when necessary. Rei is easily flustered and embarrassed by compliments and teasing, often the best way to break her calm demeanor. These are traits cleverly simulated from when she was whole, due to being a nobody.
Likes: Rei enjoys tea, dancing, and the rain. She enjoys dark and cool places.
Dislikes: Rei doesn't like sour or bitter things, being bonded or confined, or dry and bright places.
Fears: Rei fears the keyblades, and is terrified of being bound or confined.
Family: Rei lacks blood family. The caravan she was part of was what she considered a family.
Bio: Rei was assaulted and slain by Nobodies after a dance for the Emperor, while in a caravan back to her home town. The caravan was massacred by Dusks and Creepers, in which everyone was slain.. Rei was one of the last to remain, fighting with a guarding soldiers dropped chain claws, though her escape was met face to face with heartless and Shan Yu. Soon after becoming a Nobody, Rei used the weapons and incorporated them in her dances, learning how to use the dark corridors in order to travel. Though Rei had a strong enough heart to retain her human form and state of mind even as a nobody, she is not much stronger then average nobodies, and shares traits of Dragoons and Dancer Nobodies in combat.
Sample Post:Sample!
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 7:26 am
Okay, there's a lot of critique here, but don't shy away or anything! This is not me 'denying' you; this is me trying to work with you to get you approved ^^;;
---Ah, it seems there was a slight misunderstanding. When I said 'Put 'Nobody Element' underneath Job Class', I meant create a different category. I've edited that part in your profile to make it a bit clearer.
---Next, there seems to be a bit of confusion as to what 'Passives Abilities' are. Essentially, if you have to think about it or activate it, it's not a passive ability. So neither Gentle Song or Weaving are passive abilities. Those would be Support abilities, as you have to think about them and they are not attacks.
If you want an example of a Passive Ability, think of the little equipped 'abilities' they have in most KH games, like Birth by Sleep. 'Fire Boost', 'Lucky Strike', 'Dark Screen'- and those are simply the basics. You can come up with your own, if you so please- for example, my good character Soryuju has a passive that says he can endure higher degrees of pain than most, and that anything short of agonizing pain will not make him flinch.
However, may I ask what you mean by Weaving's description? Does she simply make the clothes appear, or are you saying she knows how to sew? Because if it's the latter (that she knows how to sew), then you don't need to list it xD The 'Abilities' section is solely for things that not everybody could learn to do, like magic or special attacks.
---Finally, there are some things that don't really click in your bio. How can you be related to a character when the two of you are on completely different worlds? You might be 'cousins' if you look back far enough to the point where all the worlds were connected, but saying that is like you saying EVERYONE is your cousin.
---You also list that some fears, and describe yourself in the personality section somewhat strangely. You're aware that Nobodies don't feel any emotion, right? Like... none at all. Not fear, not joy, not even a slight bit of melancholy or embarrassment. I'm not saying change anything, but... I want to be perfectly clear that she shouldn't feel anything- it should all be an act, a charade to fool people who don't know she's a Nobody.
---As well, there's a bit that confuses me. You say you were assaulted and slain by Heartless... but then you list Dusks and Creepers, which are Nobodies. Maybe you meant you were attacked by Nobodies, or maybe you meant to say different types of Heartless. Just so you know, Nobodies cannot take hearts- not the low-level Nobodies, anyway. Only the humanoid Nobodies (AKA the ones we play) can take Hearts.
---Also, and this is just for clarification, you know that Demyx and the other Organization members never existed in this universe, right? I just want to be sure that's clear, because you compare yourself to him in the bio. That's not wrong, but I just want to be crystal clear ^^;;
I typed this all up at 9 in the morning, and I'm not a morning person, so forgive me for any typos or grammar errors ><
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:34 pm
Okay I know they are only 2 abilities, but these are a couple I have thought of to add to Dawn's dance list.
Support Abilities
Dance:
The Forbidden Dances: Dawn does a dance movement against one opponent, depending on her movements she can inflict different statuses.
1. Painful Movements: Inflicts Pain onto the enemy.
2. Draining Soul: Inflicts Sap onto the enemy.
3. Enraged Dance: Inflicts Berserk on the enemy.
4. Graceful Dance: Inflicts Charm on the enemy.
The Last Dance: Dawn dances for one of her allies and enchanting that person with Aura.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:55 pm
Rei assesses the situation!
Alright! Hopefully the kinks were banged out! : D
-Has edited mistakes-
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:59 pm
edited my abilities on the last page sweatdrop took me a while there...
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Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 6:06 pm
Audition for second passive ability:Penetration - Anthony's Lightning magic acts as if the target's resistance is one lower [Absorb -> Immune, Immune -> Halved, Halved -> Indifferent]. Does not work on those Indifferent or Weak.. Audition for new Son of Odin ability:Zantetsuken - Lightning strikes Anthony's weapon, which emits a blinding white light. Once the light fades, Anthony's weapon has transformed into Zantetsuken, Odin's scimitar-like weapon, outlined with a glowing blue aura. Anthony then dashes back and forth through all enemies, slashing them with the sword, resulting in a chance of instant death or zero damage. Audition for Odin's abilities:Odin's Attacks:Flourish of Steel - Inflicts multiple physical damage on opponents within a small radius.
Skyward Swing- Inflicts physical damage on opponents within a small radius and launch them in the air.
Seismic Strike - Inflicts physical damage on opponents within a large radius.
Crushing Blow - Inflicts physical damage on one opponent.
Stormblade - Attack single target with Lightning's sword.
Lightning Strike - Attack target with the blade, then with thunder.
Razor Gale - Attack repeatedly with the blades then with non-elemental magic. Odin's Magic Abilities:Thundara - Inflicts lightning magic damage on opponents within a small radius.
Thundaga - Inflicts lightning magic damage on opponents within a large radius.
Thunderfall - Deal lightning damage to all enemies and launch them into the air. Odin's Support Abilities:Curaga - Restores major HP to one ally.
Arise - Revives an ally from KO with full HP.
Valhalla's Call - Provokes enemies
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Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:54 pm
@Rei: A few more things, one of which is entirely my fault xD
-- Remember how, in my last critique post, I said something about a 'Nobody Element' category and that I'd edited it in? ... well, I forgot to. sweatdrop I just did in your most recent one, it's right underneath 'job class'. And in case you're not sure what I mean by 'element', I mean something like Fire, Ice, Smoke, Nature, et cetera.
-- You currently have 3 Passives. You can have no more than 2.
-- Your Bio still doesn't exactly clarify how you lost your heart. You speak of the Nobodies attacking you, and then you transition into 'Soon after becoming a Nobody...'. As I said, Nobodies cannot steal hearts, so low-level Nobody couldn't turn yourself into one. Now, if it's as simple as 'Later, Heartless took her heart', then it's alright that you don't list it. I just want to be certain.
@Ayumu: I approve of your new abilities. You still need at least two other HA Mods' approvals.
@Tao: I approve of your new abilities. You still need at least two other HA Mods' approvals.
@Volt:
-- Passive approved
-- Zantetsuken approved.
-- Odin's Attacks and Magic Abilities approved.
-- Valhalla's Call approved. Curaga and Arise, however, are not, for reasons we explained on Skype. Powerful White Magic belongs to powerful healing summons, et cetera.
You still need the approval of two other HA mods.
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Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:03 pm
1: Oh okay. X D
2: I will take on out right now. Got caught up in editing.
3: I.. edit my bio now too? : O I didnt actually know that. I thought Nobodies could do the same thing Heartless could.. : O Though I admit it makes sense the way you put it. Editing that too!
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Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:50 pm
Taowel: Approved
Dawn: Approved also!
Anthony: Approved except for the two that Kyle pointed out. I can't see Odin using Curaga, Unicorn yes, but not Odin. ^^;
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Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:00 pm
Timmy: Approved by me
Dawn: Approved as well
Anthony: Rinse and repeat, approved given the stipulations previously listed by Sory and Lavy
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:33 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:47 pm
Well, I still don't see a 'Nobody Element'. Did you forget, or did you just place it somewhere I don't see? xD Rei the Kyuubi Good/Evil: Neutral Evil
Homeworld: Land of Dragons
Main Weapon: Chain claws.
Additional Equipment:
Job Class: Nobody: Dancer/Dragoon blend.
Nobody Element:
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Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 3:48 pm
I think I understand what that means now.
FINALLY THIS SHOULD BE THE LAST EDIT.
Though I am going to just put Fox Spirit
Thats the best guess I can make on what exactly you mean by Nobody Element. (Unless you mean attributes like Samurai, or Dancer, in which my character is a Dragoon/Dancer Nobody. )
Due to being busy this week, I am a bit rushed on posting to really get a feel. Will be slowed this weekend.
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