|
|
|
|
|
Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
|
 Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:35 pm
too2sweet Violet Song jat Shariff crying Nothing like being told "It's just a bad day; you'll get over it." while I'm explaining to my shift leader (through tears) that a) I have depression and b) it's very much in the driver's seat at the moment. And then being treated by some other co-workers like depression isn't a real illness and I'm just being fussy. Oh. And then coming home and finding out my favorite uncle died last week. It has been a very long day. *snugs a Vi* heart heart heart heart heart Being depressed sucks. I'm stuck in my own pit at the moment as well, but you know I'm always around if you need someone to talk to. I don't always say much, but I'm a really good listener. heart Yesterday was pretty shitty for me as well. I took Giff out to get something to eat, since he hasn't been eating well at home. The place we went to was a pizza buffet place (he likes pizza), and he went right in, and had no problems until after I'd already paid and tried to get him to sit down. Then he freaked out. Now I know he doesn't understand, and it's not his fault, but it still made me really mad. Not only did we waste money that I don't really have to spend anyways, but in his kicking, screaming and hitting me (which really hurts now that he's older), he broke my goddess necklace (the one I've worn every day for the last 10+ years). I know I can get a new chain, but I can't actually afford it right now (or anytime soon), so it was just a bit more than I could take on top of everything else. It's really hard not to be depressed when nothing good ever happens...just crap piled on top of more crap. Well... anyways....enough of my little pity party redface *snugs Sweet* I'm so sorry sad I didn't go to work today. I didn't have enough spoons to make it through the day so I stayed home, in bed. Now I'm worried I'll be in huge trouble the next day I go to work >.<
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:28 pm
******** this. I'd like to say I really am a happy, cheerful, and optimistic person, but the truth is? The only reason I'm alive tonight--the only reason I don't kill myself some nights--is because I worry my cats would starve before I was found. How ******** up is that?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:56 pm
Gho the Girl Sophist Gho the Girl Sophist I'm so pissed. I just had the pleasure of conversing with an acquaintance that is so against government taxes that he would rather keep $50 than have it taken in taxes to be given as Temporary Aid to Need Families and possibly paying for sweaters for children whose parents would otherwise not afford it. Does anyone have some good sources for me to learn about the welfare system of the U.S.? I just can't believe there's anyone so selfish that they'd rather someone go homeless and hungry in the streets with their children than have their taxes help supplement a family who "shouldn't have had kids they can't afford in the first place." stressed "Well why don't they just get a job?" stare Right, they're all "drug using" miscreants who don't have "valid reasons" to receive money "they didn't work for." *fume* I cannot believe the ignorance and blanket condemnation. Things like this make me lose hope in my fellow man. Don't lose hope. Not losing all of it, just some.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:13 pm
I understand that completely. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
|
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:23 pm
Nope, I have the same concern. Except I have a dog and not kitties. I'm worried my fiance wouldn't take good enough care of Toby sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:20 am
I have not lived for myself for near to a decade now. Duty > Desire. That isn't ******** up. It's noble. That you would put aside your weariness of this life to see to the well being of those who are counting on you shows your dedication and honour.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:30 am
Not at all. The fact that you care more about their welfare then your own tiredness shows mw that you are a noble person. I was in the same place about 3 years ago. The olny reason I didn't is because no one else would have taken care of my pets.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:48 am
That in and of itself isn't ******** up. It's selfless and noble. The fact that you want to kill yourself is the problem. But I've been there so *huuugs*. Do you want my cell number to call me when things are hard? I know that kind of thing has really helped me in the past.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:51 am
I'm really getting ******** tired of people telling me I can't succeed at something (relationship, job, work, etc) because of my ADD.
I'm really getting ******** tired of the voice in my head that echoes every single one of them, every single day, every new voice added on to the original of my father telling me that I'm too lazy to achieve.
I'm really getting ******** tired of even the people I deeply love triggering that voice, echoing it themselves sometimes, even in their efforts to help me.
My confidence can not survive such erosion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:01 pm
Recursive Paradox My confidence can not survive such erosion. It can and it will. I may not know you, but I do know you are far too smart to fall into that trap and not get yourself out again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:04 pm
On another note, it saddens me that the only people I've seen who are willing to analyze their own views and amend them if they realize they're being unintentionally racist, classist, sexist, or anything -ist and apologize, exist on the internet. Meanwhile the people I once respected for their intelligence in real life are prey to arrogance and can't even see it. They are blinded by it, and through that blindness tell others how ugly they look.
I'll probably remain with what small handful of friends I have, yet unable to find people who are willing to challenge themselves to hate less as much as they challenge others. This really saddens me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:41 pm
Am I the only Eclectic that doesn't celebrate Samhain/Beltain and Imbloc/Lammas?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:50 pm
happy: I got my report card back today and got straight A's
crappy: My best friend is thinking of moving to Maryland so she can live near a guy she likes. (She also told me that when she was there she smoked pot a lot and I'm really worried about her.)
sidenote: Just because I get straight A's doesn't mean I'm concentrating on my grades to forget about the alcoholic.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:52 pm
Shearaha Am I the only Eclectic that doesn't celebrate Samhain/Beltain and Imbloc/Lammas? *raises hand* I don't. I do celebrate the movement of the seasons in ways that are much more in sync with my locale and heritage, as well as the equinoxes and solstices and eclipses.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:04 pm
Recursive Paradox I'm really getting ******** tired of people telling me I can't succeed at something (relationship, job, work, etc) because of my ADD. I'm really getting ******** tired of the voice in my head that echoes every single one of them, every single day, every new voice added on to the original of my father telling me that I'm too lazy to achieve. I'm really getting ******** tired of even the people I deeply love triggering that voice, echoing it themselves sometimes, even in their efforts to help me. My confidence can not survive such erosion. Ick, ADD sucks. If I'm not on my meds I feel like I can't get anything done some days....even the stuff I WANT to do. If you don't mind me asking, are you medicated and does it help?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
