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 Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 7:22 pm
Amy D Official Critique Request Gaia Username: Amy D Character Name: Oz Caldwell Serum Animal(s): Gorilla (first choice, there are others that would be just as fitting :3) Quest Thread: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=2990113#60738679Okies, since Oz will be British, I wasn't sure whether to just quickly explain the schooling systerm over here, as ages will differ from American schooling ^.^; I just mainly wanna get his history sorted :3  Everything sounds great. I really love the alcoholism angle. Oz sounds like a perfect canidate for Feral Labs to pick up. Generally in good health, doesn't have any strong ties to family. If he was really serious about detoxing himself, Feral Labs would offer, though his AA meetings, a 'scholarship' to a tropical rehab for him. Lucky him, eh? ^_~
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:47 am
Gallen Storm Official Critique Request Gaia Username: Gallen Storm Character Name: Gallen Alexander Marcuss Serum Animal(s): Serum 54 for antro ocelot or otter Quest Thread:Fire Boomer Marcuss Quest for an OcelotAll new and improved with a new back story!!!! Hope this works better!!!
You don't -have- to change that, just it seems a bit... random. I think the character was just fine up until that point.
Also, you need to really watch your spelling. It gets rather distracting when every other couple words is mispelled.
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:58 am
minkey55 Official Critique Request Gaia Username: Minkey55 Character Name: Felicity Joy MoonSong Serum Animal(s): 75/75a ~a kirin - Chinese unicorn Quest Thread: Are Myths real
Also, if IF feral labs did have something to do with his appereance, Dr. Moreau would NOT make a personal appearance to Felicity. He never leaves the island. The company MIGHT get in contact with her if she could somehow make a connection to Feral Labs from Rob's dissapearance... but if he just up and went away one day, and no one knew why, then they did their job well. They would have no reason to ransom off info abuot his dissapearance.
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 12:02 pm
Elysia Kavanagh Official Critique RequestGaia Username: Elysia Kavanagh Character Name: Ilsa Ivanovna Serum Animal(s): Caracal Quest Thread: Understanding 3nodding As a note, I know her little... problem gets to be a bit unfeasible. xd Any advice on how to make it still drastic and traumatic, but not as unrealistic, is welcome. xd
Are you implying that he's connected with Feral Labs? Wouldn't surprise me. Feral Labs probably owns a lot of smaller companies. Yay congomerations.
Otherwise, I would suggest a slightly different approach. She 'won' the trip on her own. Or she was administered to a hospital for her weight problem (she's UNHEALTHILY skinny) or a nervous breakdown.
Just need to hammer out these litle details, but otherwise the character looks rather well :3
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:23 pm
Island of Moreau Gallen Storm Official Critique Request Gaia Username: Gallen Storm Character Name: Gallen Alexander Marcuss Serum Animal(s): Serum 54 for antro ocelot or otter Quest Thread:Fire Boomer Marcuss Quest for an OcelotAll new and improved with a new back story!!!! Hope this works better!!!
You don't -have- to change that, just it seems a bit... random. I think the character was just fine up until that point.
Also, you need to really watch your spelling. It gets rather distracting when every other couple words is mispelled.
Thank you, I was starting to feel the same way, I will probally deleat that. Thank you. And I will keep working on spelling, I am sorry for the errors
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:29 pm
Island of Moreau Elysia Kavanagh Official Critique RequestGaia Username: Elysia Kavanagh Character Name: Ilsa Ivanovna Serum Animal(s): Caracal Quest Thread: Understanding 3nodding As a note, I know her little... problem gets to be a bit unfeasible. xd Any advice on how to make it still drastic and traumatic, but not as unrealistic, is welcome. xd
Are you implying that he's connected with Feral Labs? Wouldn't surprise me. Feral Labs probably owns a lot of smaller companies. Yay congomerations.
Otherwise, I would suggest a slightly different approach. She 'won' the trip on her own. Or she was administered to a hospital for her weight problem (she's UNHEALTHILY skinny) or a nervous breakdown.
Just need to hammer out these litle details, but otherwise the character looks rather well :3 Realized I didn't make it clear. xd Ilsa was hospitalized because of her weight problem and lack of sleep (which is why she was in the hospital at the end of the little "story" thing xd ). They sent her out of the public eye to recover, but they'll end up being told she didn't make it. And since they've seen the condition she was in, I doubt they'd suspect any foul play. xd
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:43 pm
Renee Zefandon Official Critique Request Gaia Username: Alicia Nova Character Name: Renee Zefandon Serum Animal(s): Tauric Koi (or tauric-other colorful fish, since there's already another Koi quester) Quest Thread: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=3318433I know that a lot of the story wouldn't make sense (like the job offer on an island - how could it be in her expertise?!), and I can change things if nessacary, though I'd like to keep her appearance the same. EDIT: I also realize that I haven't added any information on the Koi yet. I might put up information on a different serum instead, though, considering the above.
As for the character, however, I can go ahead and give the seal:
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:53 pm
Cirisse Official Critique Request
Gaia Username: Cirisse
Character Name: Mitchell Feratucci
Serum Animal(s): American Mustang
Quest Thread: http://tinyurl.com/rrmrlJust a note: I haven't had the time to finish writing up his 'Arrival' post. Pretty much, it'll be a continuation of his History. He'll travel to Texas by boat, going to meet Luke (his horse) half way. A storm hits and the boat falls off course and finds itself in the Bermuda Triangle, where the boat is ship-wrecked and only Mitchell survives. The cover story; there were no survivors.
Your history ends before Prom senior year? Why would Feral Labs be interested in him? He seems to have a lot of ties to the real world. how would get away from that? A nd where was he travelling by boat FROM to get to Texas?
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