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 Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 7:10 pm
 ▬▬ alice humphrey ▬▬OH I NEED THE DARKNESS
THE SWEETNESS, THE SADNESS
THE WEAKNESS
OH, I NEED THIS.
I NEED A LULLABY
A KISS GOODNIGHT
ANGEL, SWEET LOVE OF MY LIFE
OH I NEED THIS.
Alice had been completely blindsided by Adam's bold move. It seemed that one moment she was on the phone threatening Alexis, and the next she found herself having flashbacks of that night whilst being lip-locked with Adam. Knowing that she wasn't going to allow such a display around Cailen out of pure respect for someone she cared about so deeply, she decided to take advantage of what little of a moment they had. Unfortunately it ended almost as soon as it had begun.
Alice sat in the vehicle for a moment before actually allowing herself to leave. Everyone had already been standing outside, and it even looked like Jack was on his way to the front door before Alice's fingers popped open the door and she climbed out of the passenger's seat. It took her a moment to work the urge to actually turn around and look in Cailen's direction, seeing that he and Skylar pulled up behind them.It's now or never. Just... go talk to him. You owe him that much. No... not right yet. Once we're all settled... then it'll be a better idea to do it then.. Whatever excuses you want to tell yourself...
Choosing to wait until a bit later before she had the conversation with Cailen, she instead followed into the now open lakehouse and couldn't believe how beautiful the place was on the inside. Harrison certainly knew how to spend his money well. It was small, yet incredibly cozy and wonderful. Alice was glad that they got to spend their time at a place like this instead of some cheap hotel somewhere. Out of her perphipheral vision, Alice noticed that Adam had walked in behind her. Her first instinct was to turn around and finish what they had started in the car, but she knew she had to hold herself back. Don't make yourself look like a slut that jumps from man to man, 'kay? Alice slightly nodded, as if she was physically agreeing with her thoughts, before something caught her eye. Next to the phone in the kitchen area, she saw a tiny pad of paper with a pen, presumably to write down messages if anyone were to call the landline. She walked over to it, ripped off the top piece and wrote a quick little message on the page.
xxxxxxxx Need to lay low until I talk to C,
xxxxxxxx But when all of this is over... ; )
She wished that she had her phone, this was so much easier to do over a text message. Setting the pen down back in its place, she glided back in the direction of where Adam was standing and stuffed the folded piece of paper in his pocket, then proceeded to act like nothing at happened and continued to tour around the place that they would be staying.
"I can't wait to see the view from this place once the sun comes up!" she stated out loud for whoever had managed to make their way inside after herself.
outofcharacter: tee hee, oh Alice.
Oh, Rumply gave me permission to abuse her character there to make him come inside. XD *laughs at her lame joke*
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:53 pm
 ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂ ▂ ▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Шнψ wont you ☎ me? ╚═══»╠╣ell is waiting around for you to notice me.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ➷xŠΰяε you spent a ☂ night with me«═══╝xxxxxxxxxxxx ßµŦ Maybe thats all it took for me to realize your ☣ for me.
۞ Bella✽Reue✽Legosi ۞
████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██ █ ██ █████████████
Standing beside Jack like two magnets unwillingly drawn together, it wasn’t until she saw him raising his hand like the perfect gentleman that she even noticed how close they were again. ‘ How did you get here?’, Unsure of whether she was the one who walked close to him or not, Bella was about to accept his upraised arm with a smile when Cailen’s car drove up around the corner. Knowing Skylar could see them at this point, Bella half debated walking away. Worried about what Jack would think upon seeing Skylar again, Bella’s eyes flickered strait onto his face. Only to see him smile his smile and wink. Biting her lip and blushing, perhaps to make up her middle-school years where she missed out on being extra girly, Bella walked away before he could comment on her blush and stood beside Jack’s car to wait for her brother to pull up. Of everyone, she had sincerely missed her brother, and the idea of him being angry with her for what happened still weighed heavily on her mind. ‘ I need to have a talk with him, even if its short. ’Even if that talk didn’t take place tonight, she could at least tell the man that she wanted to talk to him.
“ So what now?”, Cailen asked upon leaving the car, and Bella wasted no time in approaching him. Only deciding to speak for a moment or two, Bella opened her mouth to say something when she found she wasn’t able to. Not when Cailen was around. Furrowing her eyebrow uneasily, Bella fumbled for the right words and ended up just bringing her brother into a hug and squeezing him. With everything that was beginning to happen in her life, Bella wholeheartedly wished she could share it with him. However, he was good friends with Skylar now, so she doubted he would side with her on the matter…and to be honest Bella didn’t want him to.
“ I love you Cale.” Bella forced out of her mouth. Not being a lovey-dovey person, Bella only said ‘I love you’ to her brother on very rare occasions. Patting him on the back, Bella parted the hug just as Jack opened the door and announced that the inside was amazing. ‘ He would know.’, smiling brightly, Bella clutched Toby to her tummy again before entering the house and taking a look around the living room. With a wide-gaping mouth, Bella had to hold her breath to keep from gasping. Walking inside with the full knowledge that if she didn’t claim a room she might not have one, Bella walked down the hallways and poked her nose in every one. One was gigantic and gorgeous, the second had a view that overlooked the lake, and the third had a small window, a tiny full bed, and a miniature bathroom. ‘ Yep. Better claim the good one.’, putting Toby on the pillow as if he could claim the bed for her, Bella walked out of the smallest room and saw everyone getting settled onto the couches. Feeling horribly self conscious for reasons she couldn’t explain, Bella’s eyes drifted towards Jack.
Wanting to be in his arms so badly right now, Bella knew Skylar was near and shook her head at the thought. ‘ Not now. Not for a while.’, turning towards the sliding glass door leading out onto the deck, Bella realized that the night wasn’t very cold, and smiled her awkward smile before heading outside. Closing the sliding door behind her, Bella walked out a few feet so that she would be out of the light shining from the living room and let her eyes drift over the lake. Admiring the glossy effect caused by the moonlight shining on the water. Somehow, being back at this place was harder than she thought, and looking out onto the lake rekindled several laden memories of herself and her brother. Playing in the water, or throwing horseshoes at the nearby beach. ‘ Maybe Jack and everyone would want to hang out there tomorrow.’ If they were stuck here, they might as well have fun.
Folding her knees up to her chest, Bella resisted the urge to press her lips against her jeans as she cradled her arms around her legs. Apparently it was colder than she thought it would be. Feeling a cold, spring-like breeze whisper through her wavy hair, Bella just continued to sit outside and watch the surface of the lake, or the shapes in the navy clouds.
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ⋚Unfortunately, I can't forget what you mean to me.⋛
✿But when I'm gone...will you✉to me?✿ ↙xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:05 pm
 Cailen Legosi Admiring the small cabin from the outside, Cailen stood by his car and waited for everyone else to emerge from Jack’s car. He saw Skylar come out of his car and walk over to where he was. He tried to give her a reassuring smile. Being trapped in such a small cabin with Adam wasn’t going to be easy. It would take all he had to keep from attacking him again. As he stood there he saw Jack come out from the car and gave a sideways glance over to Skylar to see her reaction. Jack didn’t stick around for long, confidently walking around the cabin to find a way in. Then he looked over and saw Bella coming up to him wanting to say something. There was something on her mind, Cailen could tell. It was something important, but she didn’t say anything, instead wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He returned the hug giving her a tight squeeze.
He was a little shocked to hear Bella tell him that she loved him. He knew that she did, but she rarely said the actual words. It was more of an unsaid thing, usual for brothers and sisters. He was really surprised since he thought she’d never forgive him for her kidnapping. He smiled really wide upon hearing those words, but also became worried. She was trying to keep his attention away from what she was going to actually say. “I love you too Bella.” He knew he was always going to love her, no matter what she did. Sure she might not have made some great decisions, but neither did he. That was what was great about him and Bella having the same circle of friends. Even if everyone turned their backs against him, he’d always have his sister. Cailen had to smile at Jack who seemed to found a way in. Jack’s uplift in mood surprised him. He seems to be acting more ,dare I say, happy? He hoped it wasn’t because he was finally free of Skylar. Trying to shake that thought from his mind he watched as Bella went into the house after Jack.
Cailen was about to follow when he saw Alice get out of the car. She looked right at him and it stopped him dead in his tracks. For a moment it looked like she was going to say something to him, but she turned around and went into the cabin without a word followed by Adam. He remained still as the door partly shut behind them. He didn’t want to move from this spot, he didn’t want to go in that place now. It looked entirely too small to be able to keep a safe distance away from Adam. He contemplated running away. Just climbing in his car and driving off. He’d offer Skylar to come along and the two of them could just get away from this nightmare. Then the two set of loved birds in the house could be together without having to worry about stepping on any toes. It would be perfect. Everyone gets what they want. This thought comforted Cailen, and he actually seriously considered it. He even started to reach for his keys in his pocket.
What stopped him, he really wasn’t sure of. Maybe it was his conscience telling him that splitting up the group would not be a good idea. It was hard giving up on the thought of actually escaping it all, but he had to. Putting on a brave face he turned to Skylar. “Shall we?” he asked trying to smile. “We are going to get through this. It won’t be easy, but if you need to punch someone or let out your anger on someone, I’m here.” Of course he wouldn’t do the same to Skylar. Hitting girls was totally against his moral. Instead he’d let his frustrations out on someone who deserved it, Adam. With that he slowly walked up the driveway and into the cabin. He felt like a prisoner on death row walking to meet his fate. Cailen knew it wasn’t going to be as bad as the electric chair, but at least with that you got it done and over with. He might never get away from this. If Adam and Alice got together, he’d have to see it all the time. He finally stepped into the magnificent cabin and took a look around. It was a really nice place, a place he wouldn’t mind hiding out with if it wasn’t under such circumstances.
Cailen looked over and saw Bella go out on the porch by herself. He wanted to go out there with her and ask what it was that she was going to say to him earlier, but at the same time he didn’t want to leave Skylar in here all by herself. He promised he wouldn’t leave her, and he couldn’t go back on that promise. Other than maybe Jack, there wasn’t anyone else he really wanted to talk to right now. But talking to Jack probably wasn’t the best thing right now. Debating on what to do, he stood there for a few awkward moments. Without a word he went over into the kitchen area and sat at the table over there and pulled out his phone remembering the text messages he got while driving. The first was from Alice, on Bella’s phone. Cailen figured she wanted to talk. He knew it had to happen, but he didn’t want to, at least not now. The next message was from Alexis saying she wanted Adam in return for their safety. Guiltily, Cailen’s first thought didn’t object to that. If she wants him, she can have him. But then he realized it wasn’t a good idea. He hated Adam at the moment, but he wasn’t going to feed him to the lions like a piece of meat. No matter how angry he was, Cailen couldn’t go back on a long friendship just like that.   xxxxxxxxxxxxxx I tried to give her everything
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx That she was searching for
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBut she wanted morexxxxxxxMore than she could find in my arms
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMore than my world, more than this little town
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I wonder if she found it
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:10 pm
▂▃▅▆█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▌  I am the conqueror ☜
I taste your scent in the wind
I set my sail but then you sink my boat
So I begin to swim
Bash my foes until I win
▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ♣I'm coming for you (Can we get this all together?)♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ░░ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣  Adam stood outside the house as Jack went ‘exploring’ around the corner. Bending slightly simply to look for some sign of a key, Adam rethought that plan and wondered: ‘ I don‘t think I tried the doorknob before.’, so reaching his hand forward, he turned the knob only to discover a rough tug indicate that the door was, in fact, locked. ‘ Well there went that theory.’, half tempted to walk back over to Alice and whisper something scandalous into her ear, Adam walked a few steps towards Bella and let his eyes glaze over Cailen’s car. Waiting for Godzilla to climb out of his car. ‘ Oh come-on, that wasn‘t called for.’, but the image of being a Japanese citizen screaming and running away wasn’t too far from his desired response to seeing Cailen climb out of that car. Staring at the man for a moment, Adam froze for a brief second. ‘ What am I doing?!’, was all he thought before hearing Jack’s voice and disappearing into the house.
“ Come on in, guys, it‘s beautiful in here!”, Like Adam needed any more incentive to flee Cailen’s presence. Almost running inside, Adam let his eyes glance over the décor and he felt a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. No, it was not the actual place; but, the open, modern, architecture reminded him very much of a specific place where he had ‘shot’ one of his ‘movies’. Too familiar for comfort, Adam shoved his hands into his pockets and felt all the prognostics of a bad experience dampen his mood. ‘ Of course Harrison would send me here…’The design was the exact same. Shaking his head with a very ‘zombie-like’ expression on his face, Adam looked up just in time to see Alice slip a little care package into his pocket and slip away. ‘ Is this about that kiss?’, grinning rather deviously, Adam pulled the piece pf paper out of his pocket and flickered his eyes over the words.
Need to lay low until I talk to C,
But when this is over… ; )
‘ Oh really?’, almost completely cheered by that little hint of naughtiness, Adam folded the note and reshoved it into his pocket like a fortune cookie note he didn’t want to forget. Almost on the verge of grinning wider, He looked back at the room and felt his smile disappear. The room brought back too many unpleasant memories, and with a grimace, Adam felt in his gut that he didn’t have to leave the living room to know there were only three bedrooms.
“ I can‘t wait to see the view from this place once the sun comes up!”, Ha!, Adam sure didn’t.
Walking into the hall just from a morbid desire to reassure himself that there we’re three rooms, Adam opened every door. At opening the door of the master bedroom, he felt his eyes bulge out of his sockets. ‘ No way would that bed have the same sheets as…’, shaking his head, Adam wanted no part of that ‘beautiful’ room and ran into the nearby bathroom. As beautiful as the bathroom was, it was the only room that was completely different that the ‘other’ house he couldn’t get out of his memory. Locking the door with a ‘click’ behind him, Adam turned back around and leaned his body against the wall. Without thinking about it, Adam banged is head against the tiled wall of the bathroom. The pain throttled his brain in his skull, and Adam had to squeeze the towel rack to keep from fall over. ‘ I can‘t stay in here…’
~
Walking out with a smile like he was the star of the show, Adam tapped on the wall to get everyone’s attention and broadly grinned his regards.
“ Alright guys! Whose rooming with who?”, thinking that would break the silence, Adam pointed towards the Hallway.
“ Jack, you wanna room with me or sleep on the couch? I‘m taking the middle-sized room with the lake view.”
♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ {♣♣c:: Maybe Jack/Adam, Alice/Skylar, and Bella/Cailen might work best...But we'll see. whee ☞I am the conqueror
Byzantine mozaic in the heat
I am cursed, through the worst
With a life that's made to burn
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:42 pm
▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ 
Jack just sat back and watched as everyone waltzed into the house. The couch was just entirely too comfortable to get up and actually converse with anyone. Even when Bella bellowed out her excitement and decided to sit out on the porch, he just imagined walking over and clinging to her, like separating would kill them both. Despite how much he wanted to hold her, his body barely even flinched. He paid attention to the sounds of the house, every creak. A sudden door slam and clink of a lock setting in place perked his interest. He then noticed that Adam had burst from the bathroom, after a long period of nothing. He didn’t even hear a toilet flush.
”Jack, you want to room with me or sleep on the couch?” Jack was about to answer and interrupt his friend when he continued. ”I’m taking the middle-sized room with the lake view.”
Jack shrugged and leaned forward on his knees, ”If there’s enough room in there for two dudes, why not? But I’m certainly in love with this couch if you’d rather have some privacy.” He smirked, having a feeling that he probably wanted the room to himself for personal and/or intimate reasons. He kicked off his shoes and stretches his legs onto the length of the couch.
[ooc: I know, it's short. Don't judge me. ]
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:50 pm
 ▬▬ alexis archibald ▬▬I'M YOUR OPHELIAC; MY STALKINGS PROVE MY VIRTUE
I'M OPEN TO ATTACK; BUT I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU
WHETHER I SWIM OR SINK; THAT'S NO CONCERN OF YOURS NOW
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK? YOU HAD THE POWER TO KEEP ME BREATHING
AS THE WATER RISES UP AGAIN
BEFORE I SLIP AWAY. Alexis was surprised to hear the sound of her phone ringing. Upon retrieving it from her purse, she saw that the Caller ID indicated that it was Adam calling her. A sly grin washed upon her face. They giving you up that quickly? Alexis laughed at her thought and proceeded to answer the call, only to her dismay it was not Adam's voice on the other side of the conversation; it was Alice. At first, Alexis felt like hanging up, not wanting to bother with the blond. She'd moved on from caring what the little brat who got away thought. Of course, curiosity overtook her and she listened to what the girl had to say anyway. " Now we've got a couple orders of business to go over. First, I didn't much appreciate getting shot. You so much as go near any of us, and I promise you that I'll make you pay. Your gun didn't stop me from kicking your a**, and taking your car the first time, and I'll be damned if I don't do it again." Alexis sat in silence while Alice ranted, although desperately wanting to let out the occasional chuckle. Was this girl serious? Did she really think that if a second confrontation would happen that she had the least bit of a chance of 'winning' again? Alexis still had the gun, and the next time she fired she was not intending on missing her target. " Whatever you say, Alice. No matter how this situation pans out... I still win. You're sick because of me. Your little loverboy is too," Alexis reminded, both Alice and herself as well. Somehow, she got a sick joy out of knowing that in the end, she was the one going to have the last laugh. " And - " Alexis hadn't been able to finish the rest of her sentence before she was cut off once again by Alice's voice once again. Alexis managed to interrupt the girl for long enough to remind her that not everyone thought of Adam as highly as she did. Of course, as Alexis figured, Alice chose to ignore it and continue with the rest of her spiel before hanging up. You'll ******** me up? Please...Ending the call on her side of things, Alexis noticed that there was a text message that had been sent to her in the middle of the conversation. Skylar? Really? Is she going to be the one to give Adam up? Alexis wondered, reading the message. To:Alexis
From:Skylar
If you want someone
Take me.That was definitely not the response that she had expected from the girl she had yet to actually meet. Although she had never actually been face to face with Skylar, she had read enough about her to have a fairly decent idea of who she was. Not one of the group's "original" members, and presumably only around because she is dating Jack. Well... if she knows... then it's probably was. As much as it might be fun to have another hostage; Alexis didn't want to veer from her original plan. She didn't bother to inform Tony of Skylar's self-sacrifice, not knowing if he would want to go along with it. This is my plan. I'm the one calling the shots. Nothing is going to get in the way of this!
From: Alexis
To: Skylar
Msg: Don't martyr yourself, hun.
None of them will care, anyway.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx doubt thou the stars on fire
doubt thou the sun doth move
doubt truth to be a liar
but never doubt ...
OOC: Ahh! Alexis is a wench. Also, I hope this brought a laugh to you guys. Tried to think of the funniest possible ringtone she could have.
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golden antlers Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:18 pm
▂▃▅▆█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▌ I am the conqueror ☜
I taste your scent in the wind
I set my sail but then you sink my boat
So I begin to swim
Bash my foes until I win
▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ♣I'm coming for you (Can we get this all together?)♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ░░ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ Watching Jack shrug and lean forward on his knees at his comment, Adam cocked his head to one side and crossed his arms. Waiting was never his strongpoint, and thankfully he did not have to wait too long.
"If there’s enough room in there for two dudes, why not? But I’m certainly in love with this couch if you’d rather have some privacy.", Grinning like a loon, Adam almost threw his head back and laughed. Trying to keep from making any inappropriate comments. ' intimate reasons? What ever could he mean?' Chuckling cheerfully, Adam bounded his light-hearted feet towards the couch.
" There's enough room for three if you don't mind spooning.", jumping backwards to plop onto the couch, Adam rubbed his body into it like Flower from Bambi getting comfortable among the flowers. Sighing in satisfied pleasure, Adam chuckled and turned his head towards Jack. Purposefully ruffling his sleeve to create wrinkles.
" Mmmmmmmm...I see what you mean about this couch. I might just steal it from you.", Just speaking out of his personality, Adam's mouth curled in a deviously playful grin as he lifted the back of his head ever-so-slightly. Purposefully winking to 'joke around' with Jack as his body sank into the upholstry. Deciding to be a mite naughty, the grin boldened from ear to ear as a truly wicked joke popped into his brain. ' Well lets see how many pillows smack me in the face for this comment.', Adam chuckled to himself.
" Hey girls, any of you wanna lay on the couch? Plenty of room for a foursome.", Laughing to show that his scandalous comment was just a joke, Adam's chuckle began to sound a little more devious as he turned towards the gigantic window. Which was more akin to a wall of glass, but for all intents and purposes Adam was going to call it a window. Chuckling to himself, so intune in his own silly games, Adam cupped his hands around his mouth and took in a deep breath in preparation.
" HEY BELLA!", Adam thought he saw Bella turn her head away from the lake with a quizzical: 'what do you want?' expression, so with a grin and a chuckle he waved at her. Doing the 'come hither' with his fingers and smacking the padding of the couch right next to him, Adam saw Bella make a 'what?!' expression and shake her head in confusion. Cupping her hands around her own mouth, the little game of 'telephone' began.
" WHAT DO YOU WANT??", Bella tried to yell. The glass quieted her words, making Adam metaphorically squint with his ear in the effort of listening to her. Believing he heard the jist of it, Adam chuckled brightly and recupped his hands around his mouth. Taking in another breath as another devious grin overshadowed his face.
" GET THE ******** IN HERE! YOUR MISSING THE PARTY!", So -in the moment- Adam (unfortunately) didn't think about the consequences before smacking the spot on the couch in-between him and Jack. Almost demanding based on how hard he smack the couch in his play, Adam thought he saw Bella shake her head in irritation and flip him the bird. ' Wow Bells, that wasn't too nice.', Turning his head back towards Jack, Adam raised his left hand to -once again- wrinkle his clothes or mess up his hair just as the sliding glass door opened and Bella came back inside. Bella knew he was never serious when he swore with that tone, so he didn't imagine getting into any big trouble with his jokes. He joked like that all the time, so hopefully no one would be terribly offended if the three good friends sat next to each other like they always used too.
Turning his head towards Alice, Adam was about to say something or wink in her general direction before the image of the note resurfaced. Lay low. Shaking his head playfully, Adam resisted the urge to pat his thigh and wink. Alice wouldn't sit on his lap after all those jokes even if she was his girlfriend, but a man could dream. Shaking his head, Adam propped his back against the couch again in relaxation. Opening one eye to look at Alice since it was the closest thing to a grin that he could offer. He had gotten Bella off of the porch, whether she sat down was entirely up to her.
♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ {♣♣c:: Muhahahahaha. ☞I am the conqueror
Byzantine mozaic in the heat
I am cursed, through the worst
With a life that's made to burn
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:52 pm
▬▬ alice humphrey ▬▬OH I NEED THE DARKNESS
THE SWEETNESS, THE SADNESS
THE WEAKNESS
OH, I NEED THIS.
I NEED A LULLABY
A KISS GOODNIGHT
ANGEL, SWEET LOVE OF MY LIFE
OH I NEED THIS.
As soon as Alice noticed Cailen was inside of the lakehouse, she felt an odd sensation of butterflies in her stomach. Unsure of it was just because she was nervous about speaking with him, or perhaps something else, she decided not to stick around and find out, just yet. Instead, she chose to wander around to look at the various rooms. She noticed Adam walking into the master bedroom, and instead of following him, she decided to meander around and find another room to look at. However, she noticed that he only spend half a second looking at that particular room before bolting out. Is there something dead in there? Now, more curious than anything else, she wanted to have a look for herself. It was absolutely beautiful, lavish and extravagant. Well... definitely don't deserve to sleep in here... Alice thought to herself before hearing the sound of the others talking back in the living room. It sounded like Adam was rooming with Jack, which seemed to be a good idea. Alice pondered for a second who it would be best that she be paired up with. At first, she thought about Bella, but then realized that would leave Skylar and Cailen - Alice wasn't too sure if that was something she'd be able to handle, but at the same time she didn't want to room with Cailen either. That was only a recipe for disaster.
Making her way back into the living room, she looked up in Skylar's direction. "Hey Sky, there's an awesome huge bedroom down the hall. Want to share it with me?" she questioned, figuring that the safest bet would be to share the room with Skylar and allow Bella and Cailen to share the last.
You're really going to room with Skylar? Alice tried to ignore the little voice of doubt in her head. Sure, Alice had seen Cailen hugging her to comfort her earlier, but that didn't change the fact that she and Skylar had been best friends for a long time. Alice wasn't about to completely toss away the friendship over a few feelings of petty jealousy. Besides... if I talk to her about it, I'm sure she won't make a move... As soon as the thought entered Alice's head, she immediately dismissed it. There was no way that she was going to ask Skylar not to do something like that. Alice had no right. She was at fault for destroying their relationship, and if Skylar wanted to be the one to comfort Cailen, then there was nothing Alice could do about it. Do you really want to see them end up together? You miss him. You know you do. Are you sure Adam's worth it? Are you sure Adam's not just going to leave you when someone prettier comes around? Once again, Alice had to attempt to push away the negative thoughts, although this was a persistent one. Sure, she wanted to see Cailen happy with someone else... someone who could love him with their all, but she didn't want it to be with her best friend. She also hated the thought that her own self-consciousness was making her feel so disposable. Stop it. Stop it. Stop! She forced away the negative thoughts.
Alice felt a bit awkward just standing in the living room like she was, when it seemed that everyone else was getting comfortable and settling in. She still didn't feel safe, even though they were at a location that apparently Alexis didn't know about. Alice wasn't sure if she should trust Harrison or not. He was, after all, working with Alexis prior to the whole kidnapping of Bella. Maybe this was all one giant trap? I'm definitely sleeping with one eye open... The sound of Adam's voice calling out to Bella broke her thoughts, which at this point was a welcome occurrence, even though Bella didn't seem to enthused with it. Alice let out a slight laugh when Bella stuck up her middle finger at Adam.
Alice took a look in Cailen's direction and took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself to walk over to him and ask if he wanted to talk. Immediately, she felt an impending sense of doom and decided against it. No... think about this first. If you didn't see him with Skylar, you wouldn't want him back, would you? Well no... but... But... what? I don't know...Cailen has always loved me. What if Adam won't?
Alice hated fighting back and forth with her thoughts, but this time she was starting to believe that the usual negativity was making a point. She needed to talk to someone about her thoughts, in anything to just get them out of her head, but she surely wasn't ready to discuss them with either Cailen, or Adam. She turned her attention to Bella, who was still seated outside, and realized that she would be perfect and mostly unbiased as well.
Motioning to Skylar that she would be right back, Alice made her way out to where Bella was seated and plopped down beside her. Another deep breath. Although it was going to be much easier to talk to a fellow female about her problems, she was still a little hesitant - after all, Cailen was her brother.
"So... do you think Adam would ever be with a girl like me?" she began with a simple question, but realized that she probably should elaborate, especially after what Bella had witnessed in the car upon arrival at the lakehouse. "I'm... just so confused. Ever since that night with Adam... it's like everything changed. I know Cailen is your brother and everything, and don't get me wrong... I still love him. But... I don't know if he and I are going to work anymore. I want it to... I don't want to see him with Skylar because that would hurt too much. But, at the same time..." Alice paused, not wanting to throw a giant mountain of information on Bella at all once, she had her own issues that she needed to deal with as well. After all, she was pregnant with Jack's child. "When Alexis was trying to kill me... the only thing in my mind was to tell Adam my feelings for him. But... I'm so scared. I know Cailen loves me, I know that if it weren't for what I'd done... he would have continued to love me. But... what about Adam? I'm scared... I'm scared if I leave myself open to him that I'm going to get hurt..." Alice hadn't even realized that tears were starting to fall from her eyes. She hoped Bella wouldn't notice, it was dark outside, after all. "And it doesn't help... it doesn't help that I'm sick again. It's not the sickle cell though. It's HIV... and I ... please don't say anything. I got it from Adam. Cailen's the only other person besides Adam and I who knows."
outofcharacter:
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:31 pm
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I've been s•e•a•r•c•h•i•n•g deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get ɵȴʠ
L o o k s like I'm starting all over again
The last t h r e e years were just pretend... ≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎  Skylar looked at the ground, at the sky, at the trees, anywhere but at Bella as she made her way over to Cailen. She was tempted to just walk away but she didn’t know where she would walk to. There was no way she was stepping foot in that cabin without Cailen. He was practically her shield against all of this. She needed him and felt like she couldn’t go anywhere without him. The thought of facing Jack alone was just too much for her to even move. As the two talked, Skylar just couldn’t look. The sight of Bella was too much. She figured that if she could avoid looking at Bella then she could make it hurt a little less.
Once Bella left, Skylar glanced briefly at Cailen. She didn’t know if she was ready to face everyone. There was just too much stuff going on in her head. He was just standing there and it was making Skylar a bit anxious. Finally, he gave her a few words of encouragement and then made his way into the cabin. Taking another deep breath, Skylar followed him inside. The place was rather amazing but there was no way Skylar could enjoy the beauty of it. It was just a cabin that contained two people that hurt her deeply. Why didn’t she just run away from all this? It would be easier by far on her.
As soon as she was safely inside the building, Skylar stopped. She couldn’t will herself to walk any further. Cailen had gone a ways in and was a pretty good distance from her. She was fine with that as long as she could keep him in sight. She didn’t know why she was putting all her security into Cailen. It wasn’t his responsibility to look out for her after all. Maybe it was just after what he said about being there for each other that caused her to do this. She wanted someone to lean on, someone to just hold her and comfort her. She couldn’t ask that of Cailen though. He was a good friend, sure, but she wouldn’t find the comfort she wanted from his arms. He was hurt by Alice the girl he loves, and if Alice wanted to be with him, Skylar knew that Cailen wouldn’t necessarily reject her.
Adam had showed up talking about the rooming situation. That didn’t sound good. How many bedrooms were there? Part of her mind was telling her that it didn’t matter. She wouldn’t be staying her. It was only a matter of time before everyone else saw as she did and she would just have to leave. Shaking that thought from her head, Skylar tried to pay attention to the conversation. She didn’t want to but when Jack was addressed, Skylar couldn’t help but look over at him. There he was sitting comfortably on the couch, with a smile on his face. He was happy. ’Of course he’s happy. He got rid of you, didn’t he? Life is good for him now. You are no longer complicating his life. He’s free.’ As much as Skylar wanted to shut the voice up in her head she just couldn’t. The voice was right after all. It could be the only explanation for Jack’s demeanor. She hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time.
Tears started to work their way back to her eyes. Hadn’t she cried enough today? There was no point in staying here. It was stupid to think that things would be alright. Seeing Jack and feeling the tears that were threatening to fall just made it all more of a reality. Adam had even called Bella inside and made a gesture for her to sit down right next to Jack, where she belonged, where Skylar didn’t. It was enough to cause her to take a few quick steps to the door with her back to the rest, not caring who was really looking at her. She stopped with her hand on the door handle. Where would she go? It was night and she had no idea where she was.
Her phone went off signaling that she had a text message. Pulling it out, she saw it was from Alexis. ”Don’t martyr yourself, hun. None of them will care, anyway.” There it was. All the thoughts that Skylar had feared were right there in front of her. If this girl knew that Skylar wasn’t important to the group then it must be true. Even an outsider could see it. She kept her back to everyone. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. She knew that in a few months she might regret a thought like that. But at the moment, she just wanted to be alone, to be blind to all that was around her.
Alice’s voice brought Skylar to the present slightly. She looked at Alice and listened to what she had to say. She knew that Alice was being friendly and nice but she couldn’t smile back. Everything was spinning out of her control and that wasn’t something she liked. The thought of rooming with Alice was a confusing one to Sky. One side of her thought that it would be ideal considering that Alice was her best friend and she wanted to confide in her everything she was feeling but part of her was scared that Alice would side with Bella and Jack. That side was also supplying the fact that Alice had cheated on Cailen. She probably found nothing wrong with what Bella and Jack did. ’That’s not fair, you haven’t talked to her yet.’ But it makes sense, doesn’t it? She cheated on Cailen because of her feelings and Jack did the same. What if she helped him decide to go through with it? Stop it! You can’t think that way until you have talked to her. Skylar wasn’t even sure if she would have the chance to talk to her. Her thoughts were to just leave this place. Before she could even give a response to Alice though, she was gone. She noticed that Alice had made her way over to talk to Bella. Yep, Skylar was pretty convinced she wouldn’t want to room with Alice now.
[Had the post all written up and then had to go back and edit it razz ]≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎ Good•bye to you
G o o d b y e to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I t r i e d to h•o•l•d on to
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:21 am
▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Jack chuckled at Adam's response: "There's room enough for three if you don't mind spooning." Jack felt his friends hands grope about on his clothes. His face contorted slightly as he quickly fixed what was messed up. He turned to his friend with a smirk, "I'd spoon with you anytime, cutie." He reached over and pinched his friend’s cheek jokingly. He pulled his arm away before Adam could swat at him just as he bellowed out to the girls. Jack chuckled and shook his head slowly. He watched Adam and Bella attempt to converse from the long distance and (basically) through a wall. It was a funny sight, no doubt. Jack couldn’t help but laugh.
Alice came into the room only to ask Skylar to share a room. Jack tried his hardest not to look over at her. He couldn’t take it, he knew he had hurt her and it pained him just to even see her face. He watched Alice turn away slightly, her face hidden by the shadows of her hair. She seemed distressed, Jack wanted to get up and console her but decided Adam would probably kick his a** for it. (Which would have made quite an ironic turn of events.) He just sat back and watched Alice scurry out and drag Bella back onto the porch to chitchat. Girls liked to talk. They just liked to talk. But for some reason Jack wished he had super human hearing to hear their conversation. He worried what was going on up in Alice’s brain that she would turn to Bella for support.
Then his thoughts rolled on over to Skylar, his eyes couldn’t help but look at her. The pain in his heart just couldn’t take it. He felt like he had taken a huge chunk out of his heart and splattered it against the concrete. Even if he never loved her in an intimate way, he still loved her as a best friend. The thought of losing her as a friend scared him, maybe that was part of the reason why he stayed in their relationship for so long. He wanted to run over to her, he saw that she was at the door, ready to run away. He could see it in her behavior. He had dated her for a few years, he knew Skylar very well. He couldn’t bear to see her so saddened.
He wished he could get up and hold her, but he was afraid of doing something he’d regret in the long run. But suddenly he found himself staring at her, his eyes feeling heavier, as if they were sponges that soaked up all the water from his body. He couldn’t look away, no matter how much his heart told him to stop. He knew he was the biggest jerk on the planet for hurting her. All Jack wanted was for her to be happy, he wanted everyone to just be happy. Jack finally peeled his eyes away from her and allowed his face to fall into the palms of his hands.
Jack felt bad for feeling so happy, but for once in his life he knew what his future held in store for him. He wasn’t going to let that feeling go, even if his heart ached for the loss of a close and dear friend. Finally, he dropped his hands into his lap and decided that he would definitely confront Skylar… eventually, yeah, Definitely eventually.
He turned back towards Adam to distract himself. Jack decided that a sort of gag was needed at such a time. If no one laughed, then Jack would certainly feel like a jackass. ”So, baby,” he leaned his head onto his friend’s shoulder. He regretted it and adjusted so his wound wasn’t touched at all. ”Who gets to be the big th’poon dith time?” He tried to use his mockingly homosexual and effeminate voice. He knew his friend would know he was joking, and Jack was actually having fun. He didn’t have a worry or care in the world. (Not unless his thoughts transpired back to little old Skylar over there.) He just wanted the feeling to never end. He laughed and sat up. He gently punched Adam in the shoulder to indicate the charade was over.
It was then that Jack decided something. His head turned back over to Skylar, his heart fell like a stone and his throat tightened. He stood up finally and started to move towards her. Every step felt heavier than the last, his feet were like a ton of bricks. His head pounded, but he knew what he had to do even if it would pain the both of them. He grabbed Skylar by the arm and led her into the dining room. Jack knew just how in pain she really was, just by feeling the tenseness in her muscles as he held her arm. Jack let go of her and stared down at his bare feet.
”I know you don’t want to even look at me, Sky,” He continued to stare at his big toe. ”But I don’t want to sit back and watch as our friendship deteriorates faster than the day I asked you out…” He scorned himself then for his horrible phrase. He groaned and shook his head, ”That definitely came out wrong…” His words were getting jumbled, he couldn’t think straight. ”I’m just going to stop talking now and leave you alone, I’ve done enough damage, I can’t bear to…”
Jack spun around and blinked back tears. If looking at her caused his heart to turn to stone, his eyes would soon fall out of his skull after trying to speak to her. He shook his head again and walked out of the dining room and down the hall to find an empty bedroom to sulk in. He wasn’t even sure what room he had barged into, but it was empty. In that room he found Bella’s stuffed bear. He slammed the door behind him and shut his eyes tightly. He was angry, not with Skylar nor Bella, but with himself. He leaned against the door and slid down to the floor.
How could he be so stupid? He loved Bella, why couldn’t he just get over the fact that his relationship with Skylar was a lie? He didn’t just lie to Skylar. He lied to himself. Their relationship was something Jack created to make Skylar fit in, to make himself feel accepted and loved. After the years of being with her, he realized how much of a jerk he really was. He was a scam artist and a dirt bag. His hands clenched into fists as they slammed into the nearest wall. He could feel his knuckles crack, but he didn’t care. The pain in his hands was nothing compared to the ache in his soul. Jack didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt that his shirt was drenched around his collar. He finally dropped his hands to the floor as he let out a much-needed sigh.
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:12 am
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I've been s•e•a•r•c•h•i•n•g deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get ɵȴʠ
L o o k s like I'm starting all over again
The last t h r e e years were just pretend... ≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎ Skylar just stared at the door. There had to be some willpower in her to be able to give herself the push she needed. The push that would lead her right out the door and into the night. She would run away from all of this, try and forget all about today. Nothing good had happened, just a lot of pain. If she could erase it all she would. But she didn’t believe it would be possible to erase away the pain that she was feeling. Only time could heal that. Now she wished she had the power to fast forward time. She would jump to the moment in time where she would be over Jack and seeing him wouldn’t make her want to break down inside.
She heard the goofy conversation going on behind her. She wished she could laugh along with the others. It would be like they were on some kind of vacation. No worries in the world. It was a nice fantasy but that was all it was, a fantasy, nothing more. There wasn’t going to be a time like that again. At least, Skylar couldn’t see one happening. Maybe if she was out of the picture then the rest of the group could have a good time. It was just the kind of thought she needed to give her that extra push.
Before the idea had time to work its magic however, Jack was by her side and grabbed her by the arm. This instantly sent Skylar into a panic attack. What was Jack doing? He started to lead her away from everyone else and that was not something she wanted. She looked around for Cailen to help. She couldn’t deal with a conversation with Jack right now. She knew what he was going to say too. He was going to tell her off for how she was acting. He was going to tell her to just grow up and stop making a fool of herself. She could already hear him saying those words to her. The one thing she tried to focus on was keeping her composure. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him. That much she could control.
When Jack finally did speak it wasn’t the words Skylar had expected to hear. He talked about wanting to save their friendship. He didn’t want it to end. Skylar didn’t have the strength to look at him yet but she was listening intently to his words. Jack was fumbling over them though and that was where he ended the conversation, by just apologizing and saying he had done enough. Then he left before Skylar had any hope for a response. She couldn’t let it end like that. For some reason, his words gave her a sort of strength for her to speak her mind to him, something she never did when she first found out what he had done.
Skylar quickly followed after him. She didn’t want to wait too long before this new found courage decided to leave her. He had shut himself into one of the bedrooms and even though Skylar tried to open the door but that didn’t work. He must be against the door on the other side. This might make the whole thing a bit easier for her to handle if she couldn’t see him. Taking a deep breath, Skylar just started talking. ”Jack? Just listen please.” She stopped a moment. Once she continued talking it was all just going to come out.
”I don’t want to lose our friendship either, alright? But…but right now I’m mad at you. No, I’m extremely angry with you. I don’t see how you could do something like this. I never thought you would hurt me like this. And then you just lie outright to me, telling me that you love me. What was the point of that?” Skylar stopped herself. She had to organize her thoughts again. ”I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to make you feel bad. I just want you to know that I don’t want to be around you for awhile. I’m going to be mad at you and I don’t know how long that is going to last. I’m sorry.” Her brain kicked right in there and started to tell her off. Why was she apologizing to Jack. He was the one that cheated on her. He deserved no apologies. But that was just in Skylar’s nature. She hated making others feel bad even if she was the one that wanted them to be in pain. Besides, there was no way she was going to take it back now.
≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎ Good•bye to you
G o o d b y e to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I t r i e d to h•o•l•d on to
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:21 am
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ ▂▂ ▂ ▂▂ ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Шнψ wont you ☎ me? ╚═══»╠╣ell is waiting around for you to notice me.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ➷xŠΰяε you spent a ☂ night with me«═══╝xxxxxxxxxxxx ßµŦ Maybe thats all it took for me to realize your ☣ for me.
۞ Bella✽Reue✽Legosi ۞
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Upon re-entering the room, Bella had only enough time to watch some playful banter between Adam and Jack for about fifteen seconds before Alice came towards her. One glance at Alice’s face was enough to warn Bella that a ‘talk’ was coming, and for once Bella was thankful to have an excuse to go outside. Knowing that she would -of course- not sit by Jack, Bella could just imagine having to sit through an entire evening of wanting to stare at Jack, knowing the pain that would be in Skylar’s eyes if she saw her looking at Jack, and the guilt she would feel for making Skylar feel horrible. The constant vicious cycle unnerved her, and Bella was both relieved and crushed to be torn away from the living room. ‘ Are we ever going to finish that talk? Are we even together right now?’, If Bella was Jack’s official girlfriend, the scenario would be slightly different; but, the guilt would feel the same. The bitter aftertaste in her heart from knowing she hurt Skylar so much would still be there. Shaking her head, Bella didn’t know which part was sadder. That she felt so wounded knowing she was hurting Skylar, or that she loved Jack so much that she could handle seeing that look in Skylar’s face. ‘ Oh this is horrible! I…I‘m…horrible.’, just barely able to live with herself, Bella looked up at Alice in the hopes of ridding the heart-wrenching thoughts from her mind. Of course it lightened her mood, but only just. Not feeling any better emotionally than she was a moment before, Bella sat down with a silver lining to her heart. Out of everything, Bella hoped that focusing on Alice’s drama instead of her own might change her tune. Sometimes being humbled was a good thing, and perhaps Bella needed it right now. Seeing that Alice seemed hesitant to say what was on her mind, Bella reached her right hand forward and patted it over her friend’s.
“ So…do you think Adam would ever be with a girl like me?” ‘ What?!’Bella’s eyes blinked wider and for a moment there Bella forgot how to breathe. ‘ Adam?! Your asking me love-advice? About ADAM?’ in a state of shock, Bella remembered that kiss in the car as if seeing it for the first time. With everything going on between her and Jack in the backseat, Bella had not truly allowed the shock of the moment to fully settle into her sister. ‘ What does she mean by ‘be with‘ as in boyfriend/girlfriend?’, making a face in confusion, Bella sucked on her teeth and pulled her tongue away to make a sound. As if the noise would help clarify her thoughts. Seeing that Alice wasn’t done, Bella just looked up to watch Alice’s face as she continued to speak.
“ I‘m…just so confused. Ever since that night with Adam… it‘s like everything changed. I know Cailen is your brother and everything, don‘t get me wrong…I still love him. But… I don‘t know if he and I are going to work anymore. I want it to… I don‘t want to see him with Skylar because that would hurt too much. But, at the same time…” Bella’s eyes were wide with curiosity as she waited for Alice to finish her statement.
“ When Alexis was trying to kill me… the only thing in my mind was to tell Adam my feelings for him. But… I‘ so scared. I know Cailen loves me. I know that if it weren‘t for what I‘d done…he would have continued to love me. But…what about Adam? I‘m scared… I‘m scared if I leave myself open to him that I‘m going to get hurt…”, As Alice kept speaking, Bella watched as the emotion seemed to built up behind her eyes. The water slowly welling up as she continued to speak and catch herself on her words. Seeing her friend’s eyes begin to waterfall fluid down her cheeks, Bella had to look at her own heart. Almost everything Alice said Bella could relate to, especially feeling afraid. Even now, Bella was still afraid of being hurt, but with that kiss in the car, Bella was far less fearful than she had previously been. As dark as it was outside, the glimmer from the moonlight glistened off of the tears running down Alice’s face, and she could see her friend’s pain all too well. Pretending she didn’t notice, Bella softly stroked her fingers over the top of Alice’s hand.
“ And it doesn‘t help…it doesn‘t help that I‘m sick again. It‘s not the sickle cell though. It‘s HIV…”, Bella’s eyes widened and her heart began to thrum faster in her chest. In shock of hearing such words.
“ and I…please don‘t say anything. I got it from Adam. Cailen‘s the only other person besides Adam and I who knows.”, Of course Bella was going to say anything; but, HIV…that was a serious disease. A very frightening experience to go to. What she was going through, would physically be over in nine months, and she had one very painful day to look forward to down the road. Besides the fear of raising the baby alone, which had all but dissipated, her life wouldn’t be threatened after she gave birth. With HIV, that fear would linger for the rest of her life. Knowing how joyous everyone had been upon knowing that the sickle cell was gone, there was no magical transplant to cure this disease, and Bella could feel all the worry and strain she had felt for her friend return to her in a heartbeat. Formulating her thoughts, Bella felt that the best place to start was the beginning, So she would address the beginning first.
“ First of all…If you mean: ‘Would Adam want to date a girl like me’, Adam hasn‘t had a girlfriend since the tenth grade. Maybe longer, because you remember that time when they ended and…then the accident happened. It might not have affected everybody, but I remember being surprised that he started going to more parties and seeing a lot of girls. I thought it was just his way of grieving, trying to cope. I mean, we all had to adjust. But I can somewhat remember what Adam used to be like when he dated.”, Bella’s eyes had been searching the sky for the right words to say, and to comfort herself in the moon; but, then she returned her gaze back to Alice. Feeling confident in her answer.
“ When he did have girlfriends, I never heard of any rumors that he cheated or treated them badly. Adams always been our very good friend. So I don‘t know for sure how he feels, you‘ll have to ask him. But if it helps, I know the way Adam looked at me and I thought he was gaga for me. But that, didn‘t hold a candle to the way he looked at you in the car today. Heck, when he saw you in the casino and ran towards you. Like he was under the water and rushing towards the surface. Like you were his air, and I don‘t think I‘ve ever seen Adam look at anyone like that before.” Sucking on her teeth again, Bella turned her head to pop her neck. Admiring how the wind stirred ripples across the surface of the lake, Bella let out a comforted sigh at how lovely the wind felt rustling through her hair. Returning to the point, Bella turned her neck to look into Alice’s eyes again.
“ I know you love my brother. But sometimes relationships don‘t work out. I know that if you really want Cailen back, you wont listen to this advice, but you know what. Almost your entire relationship Cailen was gambling, and you looked like you were hurting. You were together for years Alice, don‘t think we didn‘t hear a few fights sometimes. Sometimes, I wasn‘t sure if it was the arguments or the sickness that made you look so miserable all the time.” Bella looked down to allow her hair to fall over her face. For some reason, the wind seemed to feel especially cold, like a warning, and Bella turned her attention to the lighted room…only to see Jack holding Skylar’s arm within his grasp.
‘ What is he?’A hand squeezing her heart, Bella could only watch as Jack stormed away with tears in his eyes down towards the bedrooms. Only to be followed by a distressed looking Skylar. Her breath catching in her throat, it felt like the air was being sucked out of her lungs, like she had been punched in the stomach, and Bella unconsciously squeezed her hand against her knee. Even if everything she was watching was entirely innocent, just the -idea- that Jack felt remorse for leaving Skylar stabbed deep into her heart. Feeling the metaphorical blood from the wound travel up into her throat, Bella gagged and shook her head very slowly back and forth. An intense, painful, look of horror showing in all her looks. ‘ No, no, no, NO!!’ Almost screaming that thought, Bella could do nothing to stop the clamp from squeezing her heart, and in desperation Bella turned back to Alice and remembered where she had left off. Stop thinking right now. Jack just regrets hurting Skylar, you do too, and maybe Skylar said something mean. That’s all that happened. But the look on Jack’s face didn’t look like that. Even though it was far away, Bella thought it resembled the tear-ridden eyes Jack had had within the changing room that day, and her heart ripped in two. Feeling vengeful, attacking from the pain, a voice piped up from within her chest trying to shoot her down even more. See, they’re going to make up or Jacks going to give in and kiss her. Then he’ll be making that Zombie face because he hurt you this time. Maybe he’ll feel so guilty that he’ll try and kill himself. Shaking her head more and more as the thoughts grew worse and worse, Bella finally snapped as thick water droplets broke out of her tear glands and traveled down her face. Turning back to Alice, Bella was too ashamed to look her in the eye.
“ I…I don‘t know w…what e-Else…to say b-besides not to worry. Just go for the o…one you love most…b…before its too late. Go for the…the one you can talk to…who d…doesn‘t judge or push down the things y…you say.”, the water in her throat was deeply affecting her voice, and with blurry words, Bella was mortified; embarrassed to be heard like this.
“ I…I havn‘t dated as m…much as you; but, I know that when you…break up with someone, you‘ll usually…always love them. You‘ll love them even…”, her heart shattered at the thought, Bella could not speak the next words without more water traveling down her face and the tan draining from her skin. Her body trembling and convulsing, Bella shook the tears from her eyes, swallowed the fluid, and continued.
“ E…even if you can‘t be with them. If…Adam was the one you wanted…when you thought you were going to die. That’s got to stand for something. If Cailen seems like the ‘safer‘ choice…you‘ll only be making a mistake and allowing yourself to be miserable. If you want my brother, go to him. If you want Adam, then take the initiative. But don‘t close your heart up Alice…and go with what seems easy. Even if ‘easy‘ means no partner at all. ”, shaking her head, Bella raised her hand to wipe the globs of water away from her face. No longer speaking to Alice, Bella was talking to herself.
“ I c…closed myself off a long time ago Alice…and I was blind to my own feelings. In the end, waiting just…no, -might still- cost me everything I long for… It only took one night to know how much of a coward I had been. How stupid I was to settle for a mediocre existence because I thought my dreams were stupid or wouldn‘t happen. Please don’t…”, Grabbing Alice’s hand again, Bella gave it a gentle squeeze.
“ Don‘t…make my mistake. Think about it…and just go with it.”, unable to keep her countenance any longer, Bella choked back a sob and waved to her friend. Afraid of going back into the house and seeing something she didn’t want to see. Or worse, risk Jack seeing her in this tear-ridden state, Bella walked around the ‘properly walled’ side of the house as hurriedly as she could. Knowing only one safe place to go where she could wait this crying spell out, Bella’s heart continued to squeeze and ache as she climbed into the back of Jack’s car and locked all the doors behind her. Crawling and manoeuvring every which way to do so. Bella did not wait a second longer before laying down in the backseat and nuzzling her nose into the soft fabric of the seat. Knowing Jack, the car was certainly clean; but, at this point Bella really didn’t care if it wasn’t. Sobbing, blissfully alone, for what felt like an eternity.
When the quiet wailing stopped and the water stopped falling, Bella remembered seeing Jack upset, and her heart went out to him. Ignoring whatever mean thing her mind might accuse, Bella weaseled her phone out of her pocket and held it in her hand. ‘ Jack…meant everything he said here earlier today. He wouldn‘t go back on that, I know that, and I trust him. If he did pick Sky, though, he would tell me. But he meant what he said to me, he meant that kiss, and I have to believe what he says and not what my mind will come up with.’, happy to be able to properly breath without shuddering, Bella snapped open her phone and started formulating a text message. With her shaky hands, it took a little while longer to type out a text, but she wasted the time to make sure that she properly spelled the words. Re-reading the message, Bella smiled at its basic simplicity and almost kissed the screen.
To: Jack.
From: Bella.
Message: Hey Jack. How are you
feeling right now? Is everything
going okay?……--♥ Bella.
Clicking ‘send’ Bella held the phone to her chest in the darkness and waited for a ring or a text. Something to show that Jack wanted to talk to her right now. Even if he didn’t want to talk to her at the moment, as much as it would hurt her, Bella would rather he talk to her when he wanted to. As far as sleeping arrangements were concerned, Bella was perfectly happy here in the car. It was slightly warmer than the outside air, and carried the bonus of still smelling like Jack’s cologne. Breathing in the scent, blushing because it seemed a foolish thing to do, Bella gripped her hands against the back of the seat. Pretending the ‘wall’ was Jack for a few moments. Out of everyone, Jack was the one she wanted to hold right now, and Bella felt very conflicted for feeling so.
Every time pain came her way, Bella ran and hid. Like she always did, and perhaps always would do. But where she pushed everyone away, Bella knew she had spent so much time pushing Jack away that she realized how it gave the impression of not feeling anything for him. Branching out by even sending a lovey-dovey text, Bella laid down and simply waited. Constantly hoping to hear a his ringtone or a ‘bing’ sound that said she received a text. Even if it didn’t happen, there was no place she would rather be than alone. Mending the way she always did. ‘ I miss you Jack. Even though I know your so close, I miss you. I just want you to know that.’, suddenly afraid that her text might seem pushy or offensive, Bella bit her lip out of anxiety. Her heart continuing to thump and race as she waited on the edge of a knife. Just hoping and praying for some kind of answer.
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ⋚Unfortunately, I can't forget what you mean to me.⋛
✿But when I'm gone...will you✉to me?✿ ↙xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:27 pm
▬▬ alice humphrey ▬▬OH I NEED THE DARKNESS
THE SWEETNESS, THE SADNESS
THE WEAKNESS
OH, I NEED THIS.
I NEED A LULLABY
A KISS GOODNIGHT
ANGEL, SWEET LOVE OF MY LIFE
OH I NEED THIS.
Alice could sense the complete shock that had befallen Bella while she told her everything that was on her mind. At first, Alice had been worried that Bella would tear her a new one for even thinking of someone else so shortly after breaking her brother's heart, but she was pleasantly surprised that she was much more understanding. She must know what it's like... to be so scared like this. At some point during her rant, Alice felt Bella's hand reach over onto her own in an attempt at comforting her. Figuring that Bella had probably noticed the liquid escaping from her eyes, Alice turned away slightly, that was until Bella began to talk herself.
"When he did have girlfriends, I never heard of any rumors that he cheated or treated them badly. Adams always been our very good friend. So I don‘t know for sure how he feels, you‘ll have to ask him. But if it helps, I know the way Adam looked at me and I thought he was gaga for me. But that, didn‘t hold a candle to the way he looked at you in the car today. Heck, when he saw you in the casino and ran towards you. Like he was under the water and rushing towards the surface. Like you were his air, and I don‘t think I‘ve ever seen Adam look at anyone like that before."
Alice listened carefully to the words that Bella was speaking. She was making a lot of sense. Alice had been preoccupied with Cailen at the time Adam had his last girlfriend, but they were still good friends, and she had never once heard any rumors about him being unfaithful. Hearing Bella talk about the incident at the casino brought the entire image flooding back to her mind, just as if it was happening right at that moment instead of an hour or so before. She could hear the sound of Adam's voice whispering in her ear, I love you, I love you, I love you. She began to wonder why she was the one who was feeling open and vulnerable, when Adam was the one who had put all of his emotions on display, in front of everyone. She hadn't thought of it that way before. He seemed pretty fearless at the concept of her potentially rejecting him, not that the thought of doing so ever crossed her mind. Why I am so scared... when he seems so confident?
"I know you love my brother. But sometimes relationships don‘t work out. I know that if you really want Cailen back, you wont listen to this advice, but you know what. Almost your entire relationship Cailen was gambling, and you looked like you were hurting. You were together for years Alice, don‘t think we didn‘t hear a few fights sometimes. Sometimes, I wasn‘t sure if it was the arguments or the sickness that made you look so miserable all the time."
Another good point on Bella's part. Sometimes relationships don't work. That didn't mean that she didn't love Cailen, she would probably always love him, but that didn't mean that they were going to work together anymore. She hadn't realized just what a toll the gambling had taken on her and the relationship until recently, but she was now seeing that it may have caused irreparable damage. If that wasn't enough, her night with Adam was probably the last straw to push the entire thing past the point of fixing.
From that point on, Bella seemed preoccupied by something else. Alice turned so that she could see inside of the lakehouse and saw that Jack had gone up and talked to Skylar. That definitely must have been in. This time, Alice was the one to grab onto Bella's hand, silently trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. After some time, Alice realized that Bella had begun to speak more to herself than anyone else. f course, Alice still listened to everything her friend was saying, and tried her best to be comforting as Bella spoke.
"Don‘t…make my mistake. Think about it…and just go with it." Bella was barely able to get the words out before getting up and taking off. Alice considered following her, to see if there was anything she could do to console her friend, but she felt that perhaps right now Bella wanted to be alone. Alice could understand that. She made her way back into the lakehouse making a mental note to check up on Bella in a little bit if she didn't return inside. Once she was back inside, she walked back into the living room, back into the awkward stance she had been in before. She looked in Skylar's direction and saw that she too, looked quite upset. Now probably wasn't the time to ask if she'd considered rooming with her. Instead, Alice decided that the conversation with Cailen may as well get itself over with. He at least deserved to know where her head was at.
First, Alice walked over to the couch where Adam was seated to pass along a quick message to him. "Can you see if Skylar is alright for me? I need to talk to Cailen while my thoughts still make sense. Tell her that I'm still up for sharing the room with her if she wants to," Alice spoke with her voice slightly raised, hoping that Skylar would be able to hear it and know that she was concerned. After asking the favor from Adam, Alice moved herself over to where Cailen stood, her heart beginning to race the second her eyes made contact with his.
"Do you think that maybe... we could talk?"
outofcharacter:
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:25 pm
▂▃▅▆█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▌ I am the conqueror ☜
I taste your scent in the wind
I set my sail but then you sink my boat
So I begin to swim
Bash my foes until I win
▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ♣I'm coming for you (Can we get this all together?)♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ░░ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ Leaning against the back of that really comfortable couch, Adam could feel movement on the couch from where Jack was sitting and opened his eyes to look at his friend. Seeing a playful look on his face, Adam grinned a devious smile, as Jack laid his head down on his shoulder. Knowing his friend was only teasing, Adam let the man get away with laying his head there. Feeling Jack readjust, Adam realized that he had, once again, forgotten that Jack still had a head injury. Doing everything in his power to break the negative moods Adam chuckled and waited for Jack to make a joke of some kind. He did not have to wait very long.
“ So, baby.”, Adam chuckled and put on his ‘fake’ homosexual smile, thinking up a come-back to whatever Jack was about to say. ‘ At least someone else is --trying- to cheer things up in here.’
“ Who gets to be the big th‘poon dith time?”, Laughing hard at that joke, even if he was the only one laughing, Adam wrapped his left arm around Jack’s shoulder in an almost intimate way before leaning his head in to press his mouth a little closer to his ear. Pretending to be turned on by this whole affair. Except, instead of whispering something like it may have appeared that he was going to do, Adam spoke loudly so that everyone could hear his response to Jack’s gag-reel. A very naughty grin shining on his face.
“ Oh, baby, you know I‘m the pin and you’re the cushion”, expecting a pillow to the face at one point, Adam pretended to be ‘homosexual’ for a moment longer by almost teasingly pulling to ruffle Jack’s shirt before ending the fisage and leaning back in his chair. Laughing strongly at his own joke. Of all the people at this lakehouse tonight, it seemed that him and Jack we’re the only ones trying to make the best of things. Even if no one wanted to, Adam was going to cheer everyone up at least a little, even if he had to come up with worse jokes or turn on a karaoke machine. ‘ That would certainly be fun.’, Standing up to peruse the dvd collection, Adam saw Alice start heading towards the sliding glass door. About to say something like a joke or a ‘what movie do you want to watch’, he instead saw her leading Bella back outside for a private chat. ‘ That can‘t be good.’, laughing at his mental joke, Adam had just opened up the secret cuboard holding the dvds when his stomach angrily growled in protest. Holding his right hand to his stomach, Adam realized that he still hadn’t eaten since breakfast. ‘ Oh yeah. I was gunna eat at the casino…’, chuckling to himself, Adam turned around to ask if anyone else was hungry.
“ Hey guys are you--”, Turning around, Jack was gone. Looking to the side, he saw Jack trying to converse with Skylar and felt his stomach tighten with worry. Of all men, Adam knew better than to talk to an ex-girlfriend when she was about to cry, because it often sent the wrong idea. ‘ Good luck, Jack, may the force be with you.’, sending a mental salute that he was even brave enough to confront her after the crying fit he had seen when Skylar ran off, Adam looked to the left and saw Cailen still sitting at the table. Suddenly, Adam remembered all his previous anxiety that he had felt at the hospital. ‘ Him. Me. Alone…Jack, hand me a lightsaber.’, Shaking his head because the joke did absolutely nothing to cheer his mood, Adam felt his body start to become weak. ‘ I need to eat something, and I‘m certainly not the only one.’ Unsure of if there was even food in this place, Adam headed over to the refridgerator and opened the door. Seeing quite the plethora of food compared to the cobwebs he had imagined seeing, Adam took a few things out to inspect the dates before letting himself feel happy at this discovery. ‘ The milk is fresh, that’s always a good thing.’, Taking out a bag of chicken, Adam started looking in cabinets for a frying pan and perhaps some herbs or seasonings. Oddly enough, Adam preferred healthier meals and would rather waste his time cooking something than just nuking something in the microwave.
Putting the frying pan on the electic burner, Adam continued to half stare at Cailen out of the corner of his eye. A part of him desperately wanted to talk to him and make things right; but, the other half knew that unless Cailen wanted to talk to him that just wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Feeling his heart sink at that discovery, Adam started to pour lemon pepper on the chicken before setting the pieces atop the warming frying pan. Patience was never Adam’s strong suit, and feeling his earlier frustration at being slammed in the face, Adam went to the sink to wash his hands. Being free of chicken juice certainly boosted his confidence to talk to Cailen, so upon wiping his hands, he just randomly walked close enough for Cailen to be able to hear him. Speaking only loud enough for him to hear, since Jack was busy talking to Skylar in another part of the room anyway. Soon, he would return to cooking enough for everybody to partake of; but, first he had to get this off his chest.
“ Cale, I want you to know something.”, His facial muscles tightening in anger, Adam’s eyebrows furrowed together to show exactly how serious he was. Trying not to get to angry as to pick a fight with the man, Adam his let his arms rest at his side. His face soon becoming remorseful as he continued with his speech.
“ Yeah, I feel horrible about what happened but you know what? You guys weren’t dating then. You were broken up, and I didn‘t plan on that happening. Okay? Your one of my best friends Cailen, I never thought about or put the moves on your girl while you were dating. You know she came crying to me a lot after your arguments, and I never ever put a move on her. Just like I would never put a move on Skylar, the thought never came across my mind. Yeah, it shouldn‘t have happened and I feel horrible about it. But you got your good blow to my face. You can hit me all you want, it wont change the fact that I wasn‘t the one who destroyed your relationship.”, feeling the waves of sorrow link themselves around his heart, Adam could feel a slight hint of water rise up behind his eyes, and in shame Adam realized that there was nothing he could do to repair this friendship. It was all up to Cailen, and in knowing that he was losing his friend, he could not help but be broken up about the fact.
“ I‘m sorry. I know that doesn‘t cover what I did, I did something wrong. She was hurting, and I kissed her. Yeah, I love Alice and I don‘t want to see her crying again and again over the same ******** thing. But I love you too man. You‘ve been my best friend through everything, especially after the accident. You think I don‘t hate myself right now for screwing that up? You think that that night was more important than our friendship? Because it wasn‘t. In case you don‘t remember, you guys got back together, and I never made any moves again. When Alice wanted to talk about it, I asked her to leave and she wouldn‘t, because I didn‘t want to hurt you anymore. I still don‘t, and I still wont. She‘s your girl, and I did sleep around a lot but I never cheat with a friend‘s girl.”, hearing the chicken sizzling, Adam grabbed a spatula to quickly move the chicken around to keep them from burning before looking back to Cailen.
“ Your important to me to, just as important as Alice. Yes I deserved that punch to the face, because you still loved her when we had that night and I shouldn‘t have acted. But I don‘t deserve to be the scapegoat for your guys‘ relationship problems. If you feel horrible about yourself, don‘t take it out on me. If you don’t want to be friends anymore because of that night then fine. But just know that I didn‘t keep making any moves behind your back. I wasn't a plotting relationship vulture hoping you and Alice would fail so I could scoop her up. Unless you give the go-ahead someday, I wont date her. I‘m sorry for the pain that I caused you. I’M ******** SORRY. But we didn‘t have an affair, you guys were separated. I messed up, we all do, but if I can handle selling my body to cover your debts and still care about our friendship, I kinda hoped our friendship would be just as important to you.”, Having never planned on telling him the things he did to get money for Cailen’s debts, a part of him still hoped that Cailen wouldn’t ask about what he meant. A small voice kept saying: You need to tell him, but how could he? Wouldn’t his friend lose whatever smidgeon of respect he had for him if Adam spilled the beans? ‘ If he asks, I‘ll tell him. ’, knowing he was going to start crying if he didn’t end this conversation now, Adam turned back towards the chicken and added a little more lemon pepper to the meal. Flipping the chicken pieces at the right time, Adam waited in suspense for some kind of answer. Expecting Cailen to either just walk out or walk behind him to sock him in the face again, Adam tightened the muscles in his stomach to prepare himself. Adam couldn’t help it if Cailen didn’t want Adam there anymore; but, in meditating on the words he just said: Did he even want to still be friends? Sure, Adam loved Cailen like a brother, more than a brother. But he did go through just as much pain from Adam’s gambling as everyone else did. Even as much as Alice, dare he say it. True, not every time he ‘shot a movie’ was to get money for Cailen, but nearly every time he did it to get the money. What he did, there was no worse shame that he could think of. If he hadn’t needed the money for Cailen, he wouldn’t have ‘starred’ in those ‘movies’, he wouldn’t have met Harrison and he wouldn’t have gone to that ‘club’ and met Alexis. Adam preferred going to the clubs than the strip joints, anyway. After all, why watch a girl get naked when he was handsome enough to get a girl naked and fool around? His getting drunk that night and catching HIV wasn’t Cailens fault and he didn’t want to blame him; but, it was true. He probably wouldn’t have met Alexis if not for Cailen’s gambling problem. Stirring the chicken a little more, Adam went back to the fridge to look for vegetables to cook alongside the entrée. In the end, Adam admitted to himself that it really didn’t matter. He still wanted to be Cailen’s friend, even if Cailen wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
It was then that Adam heard the sliding glass door open because Alice re-entered the room. Seeing her out of the corner of his eye, Adam saw her heading towards him and felt a twinge of regret form within his belly. He just promised Cailen that he wouldn't date her if he asked him not to. A pain almost worse than the one he had felt in the casino began to creep up like a sea to drown him. Just looking at her had suddenly become too painful. Hearing what she was saying, Adam simply nodded as Alice went to talk to Cailen, feeling a horrible sense of dread. If they broke up and she wanted to be with him, if Cailen said no, then she would be all by herself. Almost wishing he hadn't promised that to Cailen, Adam turned his thoughts to Skylar. You should go talk to her now. Nodding in agreement, Adam put some green beans into the steamer before making his way over to where Skylar was standing in the hallway.
" Hey Skylar...I just want you to know that I'm glad you came here. You didn't have to be here...I mean, if Jack ended things or you did...But I'm glad your here, I really respect that you put your feelings aside to be here for us. I know I'm not the only one grateful, but still, I just wanted to say that. Your a strong, wonderful, woman and I respect you a lot.", Meaning everything he said in a non-romantic way, Adam smiled at his friend and gave her a hug before she could flee or move away from him. Out of everyone, besides Alice, Cailen, and Jack, Adam was really happy that Skylar was a part of their group. She just completed everything, without her presence around, Adam realized that the group would be missing a very important piece of itself. Of course, Adam would miss her greatly as well, but, he thought if he were to say that, she might take it the wrong way. So smiling his bright, handsome smile, Adam began to unintentionally lead Skylar towards the living room.
" I made dinner...by the way."
♣XXXXXXXXXX♣XXXXXXXXXX♣ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ {♣♣c:: ☞I am the conqueror
Byzantine mozaic in the heat
I am cursed, through the worst
With a life that's made to burn
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:56 pm
▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ Everything Skylar said through the door made Jack feel all the more worse. He wanted to pull the door open and show her just how much pain he was in. He was sure that he looked awful, what with the day old bandage on his head, the red eyes, and tear soaked face, and probably even tired bags under his eyes. He didn’t dare look into the mirror that was just so conveniently located across from the bed. He parted his lips to respond, but decided against it. She got out what she wanted to say and he accepted it. He still felt like a dirt bag. He clutched his fists to his chest. The pain from slamming them into the wall multiple times was too much. Jack tried to move his fingers but the knuckles refused to let him.
After trying to talk to Skylar and then hearing those words come out of her mouth pushed Jack over the edge. He couldn’t bear to open that door, walk out, and talk to those people. Jack felt his entire body convulse as he sobbed quietly. His lips pressed together firmly so he wouldn’t make a single sound. For the first time in his life, he contemplated just ending his life right then and there. He wasn’t sure how he’d do it, but he thought about it. That way he wouldn’t have to feel so guilty, he wouldn’t have to be in so much pain and confusion. His phone went off in his pocket. It vibrated and made his heart skip a beat. He pulled it out with shaking hands and stared at it for a moment before actually flipping it open. When he finally let out a shaking sigh, he stared at the message. At first it didn’t comprehend, the letters looked like symbols. His eyes finally focused on the words and he choked back a chuckle. The fluid in his throat made it sound like a cough.
To: Bella
From: Jack
Message: I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Everything is just fine <3
So he lied a tad bit, but he wasn’t going to let Bella know what he was thinking. He couldn’t let her know his breaking point had come. He was so close to just smashing his face into the mirror, grabbing the shards of glass, and slitting his throat wide open. But that was when something kicked him in the side: It was his conscience, deep within his heart. You really don’t want to do that, Jack. He rubbed at his eyes as he listened to his heart. You have Bella now, you love her and she loves you. You can’t leave her to raise a child all alone like that. Don’t you want to be a father? Don’t you want to see Bella’s face again? Jack nodded a million times as a vision fell upon him. As if a movie were playing in his mind: Bella holding a bouncing baby boy in her arms, her beautiful chocolate eyes smiled up at Jack as she rocked the child to sleep. The sight was glorious and a smile finally grew on his lips. He wiped his eyes and let out one finally sigh before he stood up.
Right as he reached for the doorknob, he heard Adam talking to Skylar. “Hey Skylar... I just want you to know that I'm glad you came here. You didn't have to be here...I mean, if Jack ended things or you did...But I'm glad your here, I really respect that you put your feelings aside to be here for us. I know I'm not the only one grateful, but still, I just wanted to say that. You’re a strong, wonderful, woman and I respect you a lot.” Jack backed from the door and felt his fingers cramp as they tensed into a claw. He couldn’t help but feel, once again, the guilt overwhelm him. It wasn’t the guilt of leaving her. It was the guilt of hurting her and lying to her. He knew he was scum. Jack spun around quickly and caught sight of Bella’s teddy bear on the bed. He sat down at the edge and reached down to caress its cheek. He felt himself smile as he picked it up and held it close to his heart. He nuzzled his nose against the top of its head. “At least you’re not mad at me, little guy.”
Jack looked down into its button eyes and cradled it in his arms like a child. Everything became real to him, like a veil was lifted and cleared his vision. Sure, he was the scum of the planet for hurting Skylar, but that wasn’t going to stop him from being the best father for his child. It wasn’t going to stop him from being, eventually, the best husband for Bella. He blinked, realizing how tired he really was.
Jack placed Bella’s teddy back down on the bed, then pulled his phone back out to send Bella another text message: ‘I wish we could go somewhere, you and I, escape the madness… Which brings me to my next point: Bella, would you like to go out to a movie sometime? You know, like a real live date? d: <3’ Jack licked his lower lip and tucked is phone back in his flannel pocket. Jack quickly looked over into the mirror. His reflection seemed all right, but he got up to get a better look. He rubbed at his eyes and decided it would be best if he stepped into the bathroom to just throw water on his face. He exited the bedroom and meandered his way through the house to find the bathroom. Luckily, he didn’t have to walk by any people on his journey. Quickly, he locked himself in the bathroom and ran his hands in under the cold water. He splashed it against his face and felt like God had replenished his spirit. He looked into the mirror and smiled brightly.
He was not going to let himself fall apart again, which meant he couldn’t be in the same vicinity as Skylar. Jack wiped is face dry quickly with the soft towel then grabbed the doorknob. With a long breath he opened the door and willingly subjected himself into the realm of people. He felt his heart pound in his chest, as he got closer into the living room. As soon as he saw Skylar he spun right back around. He walked past Alice and Cailen’s conversation and slid open the doors that lead to the porch. Jack gripped the railing as he stared out into the night. The waves rippled and danced as the wind pushed it along. It was relaxing. It brought him out of his world and into a whole new one. He smiled, he knew suddenly why Bella was drawn to sit there for as long as she did. Jack closed his eyes to imagine sharing the moment with her. He wished he could without the fear of seeing Skylar’s heartbroken and angered eyes pierce his soul. He knocked that thought from his mind quickly before he collapsed over the edge and into the lake. ‘It would be a rather easy death…’ Jack’s conscience kicked him again and Jack rolled his eyes, as if he tried to convince himself he was just joking. He continued to hold on to the railing as tight as he could, his feet planted firmly on the porch.
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