It was not a long walk from the clinic in the town hall to the spot that Emerwyn had begun to call her home in a close quarter of the jungles. The labs had made sure to get a camera in the viscinity once it had become obvious that two islanders had set up a residence there. And so, it was no difficult task to cut Emerwyn off from her intended destination.
The guards were pleased when they got the order from the labs to break off the search for Annie for the moment and to pick up the meek, complacent deer-woman. They wasted no time to change course, and before long the rumble of a jeep could be heard by Emerwyn's sensitive ears.
That sort of noise was not uncommon for the island, particularly after the search parties had begun, however as she walked the noise proceeded to grow closer and closer to where she walked, until the Jeep itself rumbled into view carrying three armed men.
Emerwyn had made the march back home quite slowly, frinding herself now dreading speaking to Ian. What would he say? What would he think? Gaius had seemed appalled by the idea that she was not yet married, but look what she'd done.
She loved Ian; she trusted him. But this was something she could not help but take onto her own shoulders - this was her doing. It was inside her where the sin lay.
The noise of the jeeps broke her desperate chain of thoughts as Emerwyn drew quite near to home. She had indeed heard them out and about in the past, but they did get so loud now. Her ears twitched, and stood up as she stopped in her tracks, instinctively darting her eyes around for the disturbance. It came, easily enough. She grew extremely tense at the sight of them. Maybe they're just passing... what could they want with me? Emerwyn tried to tell herself. Her legs forced themselves to keep walking, her eyes forced away.
Only one of the three men got out of the jeep, a his rifle slug over his shoulder and both of his hands open and steadying. The gesture, however, didn't seem to come very naturally to the burly man. "Now easy there, missy. The docs just wanna have a word with ya. Come into the jeep all nice like."
Emerwyn slowed her step hesitantly, her heart pouding. She didn't want this. She didn't want to speak to Ian right away, no. But she certainly did not want the doctors to interfere before the father even had a word!
However, this man had a gun, and there was not much she could do even if he did not. So, she turned to face him and nodded slowly.
"Very well. I shall go with you."
She approached the jeep aprehensively. The thing was hideous to her. Cars did not exist anymore. It was unnatural.
The guard smiled - an ugly twist of his face. Of course she was going to come with him, s'not like she had a choice. But the way the graceful woman carried herself it seemed as if she was deciding to grace them with her presence.
And yet, the guard opened the door to the passenger seat for her, although it lacked any sort of chivalrous manner.
Once she was seated, he climbed into the backseat.
Emerwyn sat very uncomfortably in the vehicle, however she was absolutely determined to maintain her dignity in the presence of her adversaries. She did not fear them anymore, not these armed guards, at any rate. She would decide how she felt about the doctors when she saw them. Inwardly, she prayed desperately that it would not be Moreau. How disgusting he had been the two times she'd met him... And, maybe there were more people like Delia in there, people who really wanted to help her. Her head was high, her eyes glistening.
The jeep rolled into motion, slowly as it made its way back to the main road, and then faster, bumpier as it traversed the straight dirt road that had been slashed through the jungle. The guards didn't speak during the trip, but one of the men in the backseat had this leer plastered to his face as he stared at Emerwyn for the entirety of the ride.
Finally, the large double gate of the labs themselves loomed into view - a cold, unfeeling gate with the Feral Labs logo across it. It hadn't changed since the day Emerwyn arrived on the island.
It swung open as they arrived, and they parked in the lot.
"Jus go up to the doors. The doc'll meet ya there." One said with a jerk of his thumb towards the mirrored doors at the front of the building.
Emerwyn could almost feel the man's eyes tangibly on her, but she tried to pay it no mind. She watched the gates loom into view, and her stomach lurched.
Slowly she got out of the jeep, her long legs trembling a bit. The walk was like a warrior marching to his death. She wasn't going down without a fight.
The mirrored doors reflected back Emerwyn's staunch determination as she approached the entrance. However, unlike last time she had been there, they did not open automatically. It was a good thirty seconds or so of regarding her own face before, without warning, it slid aside to reveal a very different image.
A man with long, white hair tied back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and a suit out of fashion by at least a hundred years. There was a wide smile across his face and a light in his eyes as he regarded Emerwyn for a moment before speaking.
"Emerwyn - I am glad that you could make it!" The enthusiasm seemed quite genuine. "I am Doctor Sabin Duvert. Please, come in. There was quite some remarkable news that I got over the intercom!"
Emerwyn watched her own visage transform into the most remarkable man. And being what some may call an 'old fashion' girl herself, could not help but be completely taken by his outstanding garb. And the way in which he held himself. For only a moment, Emerwyn seemed to forget her fear of the cursed doctors, and she walked toward him. She was unable to share the smile though.
"I can imagine, Doctor. For it is all quite new to me as well. ..."
Sabin Duvert... She'd heard of him several times before. Rarely were the reports positive.
He nodded as he stepped aside and allowed her into the lobby. It likewise had not changed in a very long time. The same periodicals sat on the neglected tables, now even more out of date than when they were first placed there. It was just part of the elegant facade built to alleviate concerns of new arrivals and hardly ever used for the purpose it was apparently designed for.
"If you would follow me, we can confirm .. or deny... the suspicions that Delia had. I am sure that you must be quite nervous yourself given the implications!" While the words were sympathetic, Sabin's demeanor was a bubble with enthusiasm. And as he turned to lead the way through the double doors, there was even a jaunty whistle on his lips.
Emerwyn had absolutely no idea what to make of this Doctor Duvert, now more than ever. Yes, she was indeed nervous. But she did know this - the implications for her were far different from the way the labs must be viewing it. A scientific phenomenom. Emerwyn could almost feel her soul gag at the prospect. The whistling - music often calmed Emerwyn, but now. Now she nearly preferred silence. And yet she followed. After all - she also had to know. And this was the only way.
Sabin didn't hesitate in his steps as he led her down the corridor to the elevators. The tapping of her small hooves on the linoleum was enough to let him know that she was still following him. He could sense her nervousness, but it didn't bother him. If anything, the woman's apprehension only served to elevate his mood even further. And the fascinating possibiliy of an islander breeding "the natural way" on the island with another subject close to her infused animal. It would be very interesting to see if the subjects' results mirrored the test results in the labs.
The elevator doors slid open and Sabin stepped inside, waiting for Emerwyn to join him before speaking "Floor three" aloud.
The elevator disoriented Emerwyn, and her already light head swam. She leaned against a wall to steady herself. She was petrified to find that right now, she felt the undeniable need to - to talk to someone. And no one was here. No one except for Doctor Sabin Duvert.
"What will you do?" she asked very softly. "What will you do if it is true?" The rhyme only helped to accentuate the poetic way in which she spoke the words. No matter how she tried, however, it was impossible to mask the fear in her voice.
He lifted an eyebrow as he regarded her again. "What will I do? Well... we'll moniter it. See what comes of it." The elevator dinged and the door slid open to reveal another corridor.
He led her out and into another nearby door, which turned out to be a smaller examination room.
He gestured to the examination table. "Please, have a seat. It is really a simple procedure to confirm or deny your pregnancy."
He went to open one of the drawers and pulled out a syringe, small plastic vial, alcohol and cotton, and a length of plastic tube.
Emerwyn was not satisfied with the answer she received, but she did not press it. The need to speak was not quelled, but it was certainly discouraged - the inevitable. She was upset, however, that the turmoil would linger for the next nine months. What would they do to her child, once it was born?
She sat down, these things plaguing her mind as she watched the Doctor move about. He was impossible. Everything about him. They way he looked, spoke, acted. Only Emerwyn's dearest friends came close to replicating anyone like him. Only the written word from the imaginations of so many deranged people could attempt to recreate the essence that was this man.
Emerwyn was entranced and disgusted by it, like a favorite villain.
"How much time shall it take, before we may find a result?"
He carried the supplies over to where she sat and put them on a small stand. Whetting the cotton with the alcohol and gesturing for her arm he spoke up to answer her question.
"It should not take long. You can either wait here for the results, or I can have you taken back to the village and contact you. It is a simple blood test to check for the presence or absence of a hormone. Most doctors' offices would take a couple of days, but we've got all the equipment that we need right here." He smiled with a hint of pride.
His eyes flicked curiously to her still-flat stomach.
She offered her arm as he spoke. And listened intently, deliberating. Emerwyn did not like it here, but she did not wish to be left out there alone, to wait for contact.
"I will wait here," she said.
Feeling his eyes travelling down, Emerwyn instinctively touched her other hand to her stomach, almost protectively.
"Very well" He responded, his light mood unchallenged by Emerwyn's somber attitude.
He swabbed the moist cotton across a patch of Emerwyn's skin on the inside of her elbow still untouched by fur, and then took the tubing and tied it tightly just above it. He inserted the needle quickly, striking the blue vein and began to fill the small vial with deep, crimson liquid.
His eyes were glued to the task at hand, but the whistle found its way back to his mouth.
She flinched at the pinch of the needle entering her skin, but the situation had begun to change for Emerwyn. Watching him there, whistling; it had become almost a contest of will to her, one which neither would win or lose. It was simply the fact that Emerwyn needed her composure if she was to survive this visit.
"Not so much time has passed," Emerwyn said. "The possibility would never have crossed my mind, not for the shortest instant."
Then Emerwyn said, still softer, "I still know not what to believe."
"Well, to be perfectly honest, in all likelihood it is probably nothing." Sabin responded frankly. "But if not.... it could be quite interesting. And it is not a very complicated task to figure out, fortunately." The blood filled the vial and Sabin placed a fresh cotton swab over the point of the needle, sliding it out and applying pressure as it left, then quickly removed the rubber tubing.
"Keep pressure here." He instructed as he labeled the vial and sealed it.
He paused after he tossed away the used materials and fetched a bandaid from another drawer. "If you are pregnant... I would strongly advise that you and Ian return to the duplexes."
Emerwyn nodded. Interesting. Not the word she would have chosen.
She removed her hoofed hand from her abdomen and pressed it to the bit of flesh that had been pierced.
The knowledge of Ian made Emerwyn uncomfortable. It made her feel that the doctors were pretending to be involved in the Islanders' personal lives. Of course, it was no great feat to scry that she was with Ian. It was probably also the only plausible explanation for how she could have possibly gotten pregnant.
But, to move back to the duplexes.
"The jungle is my home. I feel far more natural there; I live there. We live there," Emerwyn silently protested. "Would it not be better for the child to develop in a natural environment?"
An undisguised skeptical look crossed Sabin's face. "Natural environment?" He laughed. "The discrepencies between the islanders is quite entertaining. Do you see yourselves as men? Beasts? Something not quite either? Regardless, I could bring up both anthropological and zoological citations about the survival rate of infants in a "natural" environment versus in a man-made one. And as controlled as this island is, the jungle is still very much a wild place. Particularly with some of those who have taken up residence under its canopy."
He slid the vial into his pocket and came back to her with a bandaid, complete with sunny smiley faces on it.
Emerwyn's blood boiled. Which was strange enough in itself, for she had not felt such a sensation since the last time she'd encountered this race of 'man.'
She knew she was human, from the day she was born, to the day she was washed upon this beach, and, she insisted firmly, onward. She did not need to tell Sabin of this, however. It was true in her heart.
"I will stay in the duplexes," she said deliberately, "provided I am indeed with child."
She did not look at the rediculous bandaid that he placed on her arm. Her face was stoic.
Her smouldering looks hardly singed Sabin as he patted the bandaid into place, fully aware of the irony in the smiling faces on the somber deer-woman.
"Well, I am glad to hear that." He responded. "And on that note, I shall leave you to stew in anxiety while I go run these tests." He winked, the smile unshaken from his face and he turned to leave.
The fact that Sabin had managed to extract so much enjoyment from their exchange greatly disheartened the Doe. In her eyes, she had lost.
However, as the doctor disappeared, Emerwyn's thoughts also moved about. For now there was only her, her and the possibilities that lay within her. For it had seemed so certain at first, when she spoke with Delia. But what Sabin said was also true. It was very possible that these symptoms were simply transformation aftermath. Again she found herself wondering which option it was she preferred. At this point, she'd come so far, she was in this dread place, it might be worth it if she were actually pregnant.
But a child. What would that mean? How would it turn out? Would it survive? Ian... She and he were in so far... What would they do? All in all, they were together; that she knew, and that she held. It was one thing no one could take from them. [...]
Emerwyn was lost in thought for an endless amount of time. She even got up to stride about the room, feet clicking unnaturally on tile, the only sound. Song did not exist here.
The door was locked in his absence, not that he believed that Emerwyn was going to try to escape, and none of the drawers or cabinets would open if she tried.
It was nearly an hour later when Dr. Duvert finally returned to the examination room. His whistle coming from down the hall and the tapping of his dress shoes on the hard floor alerted her to his arrival before the door handle twisted and admitted the smiling man.
With no apologies for his delay, or any other explanations or information, he slid a stool closer to her table and took a seat. "The tests have been run." He said seriously. "But before I tell you the results, do you mind if I ask you what you want to hear?"
Emerwyn's heart might have exploded if not for the protective barrior of her ribs, as she heard the man approaching the room after her eternity in Purgatory.
She stood before him, he sat. The question posed was one she'd been trying to answer all day.
"For the past year and I half I have lived in paradox," Emerwyn said. "Accepting fates no matter what they be became a daily task. I no longer have anything to call my own, aside from my own body, and even that is questionable.
So I say to you, Doctor Sabin Duvert, that I want something to live for. For once in my life, to be able to say that I had done something right."
He listened to her words, the archaic flavor to her selection added a mild entertainment, and he nodded.
"Well, in that case, I have some good news for you." He rose as well to face her face to face. "The tests are positive. you are pregnant."
He held up a finger before she could speak.
"But, I can levvy no promises. Surely you must understand the experimental nature of your own bodies. The fact that you took a lover from someone with such a similar serum is likely the only way that this was possible to do... naturally. But even thus, there are a thousand ways for problems to occur. Every subjects can react differently to the serums, even if administered the same ones. They could wind up with even a different number of chromosomes from eachother... you follow my drift. Ideally, we want a uniformity or predictability in the subjects. To understand if it is the serums themselves with variability or what it is in the makeup of the subjects that causes the altercations... or if it is mere chance in how the retroviruses integrate the foreign DNA. But we are not there yet. You could lose the fetus tomorrow... or eight months into the pregnancy. Or the child could be born with defects.... or be much more or less human than either of you." He delivered the warning seriously, but the spark of interest still flared behind his eyes.
Emerwyn hardly listened to what the doctor said after the confirmation. She was pregnant; here she now had undeniable truth! Her soul levitated for a few moments before it was tugged back down by the gravity of what Sabin was now saying.
There was a good chance that the child would not make it... would be deformed... She was determined to nurture and love it. It had to work. No power could beat its way past her resolve.
This did not do much to decrease the terrible doubt she felt. And Sabin, look at him, his blue eyes sparkling as though Emerwyn was a new toy, and he a greedy spoiled toddler. This child was not just the concern of Emerwyn and Ian. It was the island. The doctors cared about for its scientific implications. And from what Emerwyn gathered from Newton and Gaius' reactions to the news, it would mean so much to her own 'people' as well.
Something rose within Emerwyn now as well, and she was empowered by it. The lost feeling was gone. The next eight months were hers, and whatever came out of it, she was going to fight.
She smiled at Sabin.
He nodded slowly, wondering if his warnings made it through her exuberance at the news.
"And a few more things worth noting. Given your condition and the... potential complications, we will probably be bringing you in to the labs to check up on you periodically. To make sure that the pregnancy is going well, if you will need any sort of hormone suppliments... to see how rapidly the child grows and so forth." He ticked that off on a finger.
"But the primary concern.... you are not yet complete in your transformations. You have one change left. Now, it is not due for a few months, however a transformation can be quite a violent shock to the system, and how much you change is difficult to predict. Not only can the physical trauma in general endanger the child, but the injection itself could affect it given your symbiotic relationship...." He hesitated, watching for Emerwyn's reactions.
"Which actually leaves a choice.... we could postphone your final transformation.... until either after the child is born or after you lose it.... depending of course. But there is a risk to that as well. Islanders who go for a prolongued period without a change are prone to sickness or... worse. And that is not healthy for you or the child. Although... given your body's reactions to the serums in particular you have already been on a slower schedule... which might not hurt your system quite as much if the delay is prolongued..... but nine months can be a long time."
He nodded slowly, wondering if his warnings made it through her exuberance at the news.
"And a few more things worth noting. Given your condition and the... potential complications, we will probably be bringing you in to the labs to check up on you periodically. To make sure that the pregnancy is going well, if you will need any sort of hormone suppliments... to see how rapidly the child grows and so forth." He ticked that off on a finger.
"But the primary concern.... you are not yet complete in your transformations. You have one change left. Now, it is not due for a few months, however a transformation can be quite a violent shock to the system, and how much you change is difficult to predict. Not only can the physical trauma in general endanger the child, but the injection itself could affect it given your symbiotic relationship...." He hesitated, watching for Emerwyn's reactions.
"Which actually leaves a choice.... we could postphone your final transformation.... until either after the child is born or after you lose it.... depending of course. But there is a risk to that as well. Islanders who go for a prolongued period without a change are prone to sickness or... worse. And that is not healthy for you or the child. Although... given your body's reactions to the serums in particular you have already been on a slower schedule... which might not hurt your system quite as much if the delay is prolongued..... but nine months can be a long time."
And now Emerwyn was listening with rapt attention. She had indeed registered that there were risks, but… Well, her initial reaction was that all pregnancies come with a risk involved.
She nodded as he ticked off the things they were to monitor. It did not matter to her, for they were helping her have her child in the process.
But then, the horror etched itself clearly on her face. They still intended to give her the final injection, while] she was pregnant! That was insane – did they want to kill her and the baby? Of course, she knew nothing of science, but she did feel a foreboding at this prospect.
[...]
And… what would the serum do to the child if it didn’t kill it? Would it – would it change the child as well? Would she be giving birth to a half-deer, half-man?
Would it turn it into something worse? She couldn’t speak.
And now the question, what would happen if she was prolonged too far? Would she grow ill? …Die? The baby would invariably die as well.
“If you are giving me any choice in these proceedings, which I find to be unlikely at best,” Emerwyn said. “then should it ever be a question as to whether I live, or the child does… the child shall live.” The last part of the statement almost sounded like a declaration all on its own.
Sabin lifted an eyebrow, surprised to hear her choice. "Hunh." Was all he could say at first, pursuing his lips and sliding his hands into his pockets. To risk so much for a child that had such a slim chance to begin with...
"At this point.... we would like to postphone your change unless your health becomes at risk. If you fall ill.... will can access the status of the pregnancy, the developmental level of the child, and so forth. But the longer you put it off, the more of a wild card how the serum itself will affect the child. As a general rule, you cannot administer a later stage serum to someone who has not begun the process. The DNA has not been primed.... well... there are a lot of reasons. But becoming pregnant during the middle of the process alone is... interesting. But the child is a part of you, and thus, might be more resilient to it. But we do not want to have to take that risk at all if we do not need to. It is fortunate that you are this far along at least. The later in the progressions, the longer of a wait there is between the changes to allow the body to stabilize. After all, there is only so much strain that you can place on someone." Sabin realized that he was begining to ramble too much about the process.
He shook his head. "Anyway.... we will take that into consideration... and from the sounds of it you don't mind delaying the change if necessary."
Sabin lifted an eyebrow, surprised to hear her choice. "Hunh." Was all he could say at first, pursuing his lips and sliding his hands into his pockets. To risk so much for a child that had such a slim chance to begin with...
"At this point.... we would like to postphone your change unless your health becomes at risk. If you fall ill.... will can access the status of the pregnancy, the developmental level of the child, and so forth. But the longer you put it off, the more of a wild card how the serum itself will affect the child. As a general rule, you cannot administer a later stage serum to someone who has not begun the process. The DNA has not been primed.... well... there are a lot of reasons. But becoming pregnant during the middle of the process alone is... interesting. But the child is a part of you, and thus, might be more resilient to it. But we do not want to have to take that risk at all if we do not need to. It is fortunate that you are this far along at least. The later in the progressions, the longer of a wait there is between the changes to allow the body to stabilize. After all, there is only so much strain that you can place on someone." Sabin realized that he was begining to ramble too much about the process.
He shook his head. "Anyway.... we will take that into consideration... and from the sounds of it you don't mind delaying the change if necessary."
Emerwyn had no time to analyze Sabin's initial reaction to her words. She was once again bombarded by the words which the doctor was probably only saying for his own benefit. What need had she to know of the workings of these great minds?
“I understand. And I do not mind. I will do whatever is required of me.” It sounded disturbingly like she was swearing fealty to Sabin. But she told herself that it was only for the child, for its sake, and no one else’s.
“My last joy,” she mused, so softly. “And no one will take it from me.”
She was ready to leave.
His lips moved to express a smug smile and he nodded.
He moved to the door and opened it. He did not know quite what motivated him to speak, but nonetheless he found the words escaping his mouth. "For your sake.... I do hope that there are no complications." His back remained turned as he spoke them, and then as if pretending that he had said nothing, he continued down the hall and back to the elevators.
Emerwyn was unable to move at first. She watched him walk away, and she tried to fathom what had caused the uncharicteristic remark. Soon she realized, however, that she needed to get onto that elevator, so she went along after him, silent.
Sabin didn't say anything more as they entered the elevator or rode it back down to the first floor. Or even as he walked her back to the front doors in the lobby.
He merely opened the doors to her and gestured her to the jeep waiting in the parking lot with a different guard sitting at the driver's seat. "He'll take you back to the village." He instructed simply.
Emerwyn walked a step or two ahead of Sabin after he spoke, then she turned to look into his eyes. It was the first time she'd managed to look into his eyes through the course of their visit. They were shockingly blue, pale as slate.
It was hard to hold contact, and she soon turned away, getting into the jeep once more. And she knew it wouldn't be for the last time.
Sabin didn't waver as she held his glance. Then, he gave her a wordless nod and a small wave as he headed back into the building, the mirrored doors sliding closed to once again drape the insides of the laboratory in mystery.
The guard grunted as she got in beside him, and set off under orders to take her back to the village.
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