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 Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:30 pm
Vanyel looked at the one that had saved him and said, "You're a famous necromancer hunter, any hints on what would be a good way to progress from here?". As he spoke Van thought back to what happened as he leaped from the building. What ever magic it is that I have can defy some of the laws of nature to a limited degree. The blood had been drawn to where his magic called it, despite that somewhere being above where it started. In my readings I never heard of this power. A power to create useful things instead of evil minions. If I can learn how to control this power, I can do some good for the world and clear the names of all necromancers. Then he rethought it, MOST necromancers anyway.
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Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:19 pm
No_1_cares Neo, in his wanderings, sees two strange figures enter through the locked gate. At least, he thought it was locked, seemed dangerous to have an unlocked gate to an abbey. He quietly made his way to them, noticing the two women he bowed in greeting. His Blazing red hair hanging in front of his eyes partially covering his vision, the night being of no help either, in addresses the taller of the two. His voice warm and welcoming, as well as soft and gentle, he tended to use such a voice in greeting though it was how he spoke most of the time. "I would like to welcome you, the both of you, to Garden Shrine Abbey, I am Neo." Seeing both the dirt, and basket, he straightens brushing the hair from his face revealing piercing ice blue eyes. As he looked them both over he appeared to be staring into their very soul, this scared many away so he never really looked directly at them. "The two of you must be hungry, if you would be so kind as to follow me I will prepare a meal fit for weary travelers such as yourselves." Turning on his heel, his wooden sandal digging into the ground he walks slowly and leisurely towards the kitchen. He was determined to make them a meal much like the first that the other students enjoyed. He was unsure which of the two was this Ceanne that Aniur had spoken of earlier, but it didn't matter, he would meet her soon enough. First he wished to make the two guests feel at home, like the Paladin had did him. I think a nice rice dish would suit these two nicely. The thought ran though his mind in circles, it was the best he could do on such short notice. Had he seen the shorter girl huddled at the gate he would have surely opened it for her. As he walked he looked not ahead as any normal person would have done, but at the stars. He always liked them, their random scattering, yet the patters that could be found in them. The order among the chaos, he also loved how they made the same endless journey across the sky, never erring from their course. In doing this he nearly ran down two monks and quickly apologized, resuming his stroll toward the kitchen with the two guests hopefully in tow.
You made a wrong step, but instead of whining or feeling sorry for yourself, you picked yourself up and created a much better post. Kudos for that. Now for the corrections:
Picky note:Quote: At least, he thought it was locked, seemed dangerous to have an unlocked gate to an abbey Quote: At least, he thought it was locked. Seemed dangerous to have an unlocked gate to the abbey. Quote: At least, he thought it was lock and it seemed dangerous to have an unlocked gate to the abbey. Quote: He quietly made his way to them, noticing the two women he bowed in greeting. Quote: He quietly made his way to them, bowing to the now fully visible women. Next: Quote: His Blazing red hair hanging in front of his eyes partially covering his vision, the night being of no help either, in addresses the taller of the two. His voice warm and welcoming, as well as soft and gentle, he tended to use such a voice in greeting though it was how he spoke most of the time. Quote: With a slight fluttering, his blazing red hair falls before his face, making it hard to examine the two travelers. The blanketing night compounds this difficulty. A warm, honeyed voice emits from him as he greets the taller of the two, a soft and gentle tone used for only for introductions at one time, now used more commonly due to the reaction he tended to get from it. Quote: Seeing both the dirt, and basket, he straightens brushing the hair from his face revealing piercing ice blue eyes.
Moving on.
You do realize that you seem a bit like a spaz, taking over the place when you've only just gotten there yourself? By all means if that is what you character is, a bit of a spaz control freak then go ahead. Otherwise you might want to think out your actions a bit harder. Is your character this very young person trying to please everyone he meets to make a good impression? Or is he older, wiser and perhaps a bit less hyperactive? I would have expected a character such as he to give a quick nod to two new occupants and then perhaps either go off and mention to Aniur that there were visitors there or go off and do whatever it is he was doing. I think I'm starting to understand why your character doesn't interact very well with people. You make him confusing. This older than time kind of person who acts like a young child. You need to map out this guy's habits and reactions, then stick to that character archetype.
Otherwise, it wasn't a horrible post. The corrections were minor. We just need to work on nailing this guy's personality down a bit better. :3
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Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:26 pm
Omirao Raoden lay awake under the bed he'd claimed, going over his hectic day in his mind. No one seemed to have paid him any special attention. That was good. It was always better to be invisible than to be noticed and thus in danger. He rolled over, It was strange, eating in front of others without anyone trying to take my food from me...
While he'd been able to convince himself that it was okay to eat without running off and hiding, he was still too nervous about the others in the abbey to convince himself to sleep ON the bed where he'd be seen. He'd spent too many years running from theives, muggers, beggars, town police and worse to trust anyone after a mere one day of relative safety. He DID keep his belongings on top, though. It wasn't as if he owned anything particularly valuble, and having them on the bed kept others from staking a claim on it. He sighed and closed his eyes, preparing to sleep...
Very nice. Clear, concise, good. Just my nasty little note of no comma before the word 'and' in that second to last line because it doesn't help and only hinders most of the time. D:
Give me one more good post like this and I just might have to push you up to advanced. I would like to see more content. Just a bit more, not much. :3
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Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:00 pm
XxInfectedZombiexX A young human made it past the gated entrance to the premies by stumbling over a root stretching ove the path in front. It clung to a practice dummy to keep from falling over; letting out a surprised gasp as the youngster did so. With flushed cheeks and a hurried glance to see if anyone saw, the human leaned from off the dummy and brushed its clothing of the straws.
You see it was unclear whether the human was a boy or a girl and the decision would be left up to the person looking at the human. Purple royal hair that flowed down to cover the eyes slighty and the rest flow gorgeously down to narrow shoulders. An all black outfit was worn with a black T-shirt, tight black hip huggers, followed by black steel plated boots that looked like they were from a long forgotten war. The pale face was very feminine with high cheek bones, exciting pink eyes; full of innocence. A small forehead compliemented her face by forcing others to to forget it was there and to maybe look at the lips; plush with a youthful red to them that it seem like makeup had been applied.
The human was around 5'4 with a build that is extremely feminine as well but one couldn't doubt the fact it might be a boy too because some males were like that as well. The human has a very attractive neck as it was without an ounce of fat and seats the head of the human perfectly on top. The shoulders were small and squat that connects thin arms. The hands on the arms are extremely delicate looking with dull red nail polish on manicured nails. A small stomach was inside the body and the muscles on it were worked out to the point one could see a faint definition on it. The human was undoubtedly slightly toned.
With a brushing to its hair it decided it would check out the court yards some more before going inside the Abbey. This young 18 year old was very methodical when exploring areas; checking out the entire area of where it was currently at before moving on at a later time. It would grow paranoid if it didn't so like the way Monk did on T.V. when he ran into one of his phobias.
Hmm... I think I forgot to mention that after dark the gate was pretty well locked up. We'll over look that for now as we focus on bigger things. You kinda ramble a bit. This isn't always bad though. Let's see if we can get that rambling to be more fluid to the point a person can get caught up in it and before they know, be done reading. ;3
I think what I'll do with yours is quote, then correct and let you compare the new quotes I have created to your original and see what develops.Quote: A young human stumbles past the gated entrance to the abbey, aided by a large gnarled root that had decided to jump out into the path before them. Said human clings to a practice dummy to keep from falling over; letting out a surprised gasp as the it collides with the hunk of straw. With flushed cheeks and a hurried glance to see if anyone saw, the human leaned from off the dummy and its clothing of the straws. Quote: You see, it was unclear whether the human was a male or female. The decision would be left up to the person looking at the being before them. Purple royal hair flowed down from the crown, covering the eyes slightly as the rest poured generously down to encase narrow shoulders. Black graced it's form from head to toe. A black shirt and jeans that embraced petite hips, topped off by black steel plated boots that looked like they were relics from a long forgotten war. The pale face was very feminine with high cheek bones and exciting pink eyes. Brimming full of innocence. A small forehead complemented the face by forcing others to to forget it was there and to maybe look at the lips, flushed with a youthful red that made it appear makeup had been applied. Commas vs. Semicolons in Compound Sentences A group of words containing a subject and a verb and expressing a complete thought is called a sentence or an independent clause. Sometimes, an independent clause stands alone as a sentence, and sometimes two independent clauses are linked together into what is called a compound sentence. Depending on the circumstances, one of two different punctuation marks can be used between the independent clauses in a compound sentence: a comma or a semicolon. The choice is yours. Comma ( , )Use a comma after the first independent clause when you link two independent clauses with one of the following coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet. For example: I am going home, and I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon, but we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn't make it to the summit and back before dark, so they decided to camp for the night.Semicolon ( ; )Use a semicolon when you link two independent clauses with no connecting words. For example: I am going home; I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon; we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn't make it to the summit and back before dark; they decided to camp for the night.You can also use a semicolon when you join two independent clauses together with one of the following conjunctive adverbs (adverbs that join independent clauses): however, moreover, therefore, consequently, otherwise, nevertheless, thus, etc. For example: I am going home; moreover, I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon; however, we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn't make it to the summit and back before dark; therefore, they decided to camp for the night.Quote: The humanoid stands at the height of five feet, four inches and enjoys a build that while feminine, was not so much so that it could not have been male as well. An attractive, arching neck not an ounce of fat and seats the head of the human perfectly on top. Shoulders are small and connects thin arms. The hands are extremely delicate looking with dull red nail polish on well manicured nails. A small stomach was inside the body and the muscles on it were worked out to the point one could see a faint definition on it. The human was undoubtedly slightly toned.
Ah, also this is a fantasy setting, no mention of TV or any of that rubbish. Be sure to be aware of your surroundings and make sure you don't bring in outside influences from your daily life. That really ruins the mood and breaks focus.
Otherwise, good. I see we have some work to do, but once its done, you're going to be a spectacular rper.
Questions, comments, bitchery? Give it to me in your next post and I'll address it with the next grading. Or email me if you don't wish to do that.
Rank assigned.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:19 am
"..."
There was silence as Deugaro ran Vanyel's words through his head.
"Were I an average man I would laugh my head off. A budding necromancer asking an aged assassin who has a bone to pick... oh skewer me on a spear, I did it again.", he resisted the urge to cradle his head in his palm. "Curse these idiotic puns and their poor timing."
On the bright side though, he could now give some advice.
"Forge yourself a weapon and become acquainted with it, also do not use puns... for the love of Cera and Rem do not use puns.", he said in his dark voice before adding another comment under his breath. "For there is no greater annoyance than a controller of the undead with bad humor."
With wisdom imparted Deugaro once again, and hopefully for the last time, made his way towards the wall. As the quiet man climbed the stairs he pulled out a small clear pill from his bell, it was a crystallized version of the medicine he was making. However it was extremely weak and very difficult to make, so it was often kept as a last resort.
"I only have twenty-one more Lotus Marbles left.", he thought somberly. "By the time I run out either I will have finished the brew or I will have failed and that madman in my mind will take over my body."
He reached the top of the wall and took a seat next to his almost dead fire, sitting against the stone and adding in another handful of twigs. Deugaro gripped his cloak and drew the crimson material around himself tightly. The Phoenican's body relaxed as he let his head slump forward, allowing his dark mane to cascade and cover his face.
He was not allowed sleep and he understood that...
Though he liked to pretend he could... If only for a moment.
His eyelids grew heavy, his pulse slowed and his muscles went limp.
Twin crimson orbs shut with an odd sense of finality.
The assassin's mind and body had endured all it could...
If one listened carefully enough, you could hear his soft snores.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:57 am
TwoDou Vanyel looked at the one that had saved him and said, "You're a famous necromancer hunter, any hints on what would be a good way to progress from here?". As he spoke Van thought back to what happened as he leaped from the building. What ever magic it is that I have can defy some of the laws of nature to a limited degree. The blood had been drawn to where his magic called it, despite that somewhere being above where it started. In my readings I never heard of this power. A power to create useful things instead of evil minions. If I can learn how to control this power, I can do some good for the world and clear the names of all necromancers. Then he rethought it, MOST necromancers anyway.
Good little post. Let's expand your writings a bit. The next time you post, I want you to do a little exercise.
Hopefully your computer is in a quiet place. Put on some music that matches the mood of what kind of post you're going to make. If you're excited, something with punch, if you're about ready to go to sleep, something thats a bit softer, lulling. Then close your eyes. Close your eyes and pretend you are your character. Look around, what do you feel? What do you see? Are the hairs on the back of your next standing up from either excitement or fear?
Focus on what is happening to your character at that singular moment and then write down what you feel. If this doesn't come easily to you, we can do practice runs guided by myself over pm.
:3
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:20 pm
A deep breath followed by a wipe of his forehead was a sign of relief of having not been noticed during his bout of clumsiness. Pink hues flickered quickly around his surroundings, having decided that it was empty for the time being so he would be enabled to enjoy his exploration in quiet peace.
If this place is always this quiet, I'll have no trouble getting myself together.He thought optimistically. So with a small smile blessing his lips, he allowed his curiosity get the best of him and check out the rest of the court yard.
Gravel crunched underneath the steel plates of his boots would alert anyone nearby that someone was coming towards them. His feet had taken him to the garden that lay directly in front of the abbey. It sat there inviting the youth to come and take a whiff from the exotic flowers that showed themselves off in front of him.
"Such beauty can't go on ignored, it should be enjoyed to its full potential." Such strong words came out in a soft whisper that was the boy's voice. It never rose and it never lowered, similar to that of a monotone, well when he was still sane.
So with the smile still on his lips, he grasped an orange petaled plant whose name he didn't know. He plucked it from the garden and put the flower under his nose, sniffing the scent of it. It let out a rich, sweet aroma that undoubtedly attracted various insects to collect the pollen off it during Spring. Yet it had attracted the young male to it as well, but this male was attracted to such things, appreciating them for what they were.
"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?! Do you think you can just go around sniffing everyone in there sacred areas?! You pervert!"A shrill voice shouted out angrily. The youth let out a grasp of fright, dropping the flower held in his hand.
Pink eyes widened in fear as he saw that flower had grown teeth in the middle of the petals and there were two eyes on the top petals. It was squirming on the ground like a fish out the water yelling up at him, yelling cruel insults up at him. The youth put a hand over his ears to block out the shouts of the flower yet they would not go away. So his broken mind forced him to yell obsanities at the flower in front of him ordering it to be quiet and leave him alone.
But to anyone who might catch him during this moment would see him yelling at a normal flower that was only alive in the boy's imagination. The boy had trouble telling the difference from hallucinations and reality due to the fact his was mentally unstable.
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 10:33 pm
Deugaro, I see what you did thar. With that Ceras and Rem thing. Suck up.
XD
It was a good post though, save the whole comma before 'and' thing.
::Beats with a rather large stick.::
When will you learn!?
D:
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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 7:25 am
XxInfectedZombiexX A deep breath followed by a wipe of his forehead was a sign of relief of having not been noticed during his bout of clumsiness. Pink hues flickered quickly around his surroundings, having decided that it was empty for the time being so he would be enabled to enjoy his exploration in quiet peace.
If this place is always this quiet, I'll have no trouble getting myself together.He thought optimistically. So with a small smile blessing his lips, he allowed his curiosity get the best of him and check out the rest of the court yard.
Gravel crunched underneath the steel plates of his boots would alert anyone nearby that someone was coming towards them. His feet had taken him to the garden that lay directly in front of the abbey. It sat there inviting the youth to come and take a whiff from the exotic flowers that showed themselves off in front of him.
"Such beauty can't go on ignored, it should be enjoyed to its full potential." Such strong words came out in a soft whisper that was the boy's voice. It never rose and it never lowered, similar to that of a monotone, well when he was still sane.
So with the smile still on his lips, he grasped an orange petaled plant whose name he didn't know. He plucked it from the garden and put the flower under his nose, sniffing the scent of it. It let out a rich, sweet aroma that undoubtedly attracted various insects to collect the pollen off it during Spring. Yet it had attracted the young male to it as well, but this male was attracted to such things, appreciating them for what they were.
"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?! Do you think you can just go around sniffing everyone in there sacred areas?! You pervert!"A shrill voice shouted out angrily. The youth let out a grasp of fright, dropping the flower held in his hand.
Pink eyes widened in fear as he saw that flower had grown teeth in the middle of the petals and there were two eyes on the top petals. It was squirming on the ground like a fish out the water yelling up at him, yelling cruel insults up at him. The youth put a hand over his ears to block out the shouts of the flower yet they would not go away. So his broken mind forced him to yell obsanities at the flower in front of him ordering it to be quiet and leave him alone.
But to anyone who might catch him during this moment would see him yelling at a normal flower that was only alive in the boy's imagination. The boy had trouble telling the difference from hallucinations and reality due to the fact his was mentally unstable.
I was hoping to get an answer as to if you're happy with how I am approaching your corrections. I'll just assume until further notice that you are content with it and continue.
Same as last time. I've taken your sentences and changed bits and pieces in the quotes below. Some are creative points, most are grammar and flow. If I just do one word changes, from here on I will put those words into italics.Quote: A deep breath followed by a wipe of his forehead was a sign of relief after having not been noticed during his bout of clumsiness. Pink hues flickered quickly around his surroundings, taking them in. Having decided that it was empty for the time being, he would be able to enjoy his exploration in quiet peace. Quote: If this place is always this quiet, I'll have no trouble getting myself together.He thought optimistically. So with a small smile blessing his lips, he allowed his curiosity get the best of him and proceeded to check out the rest of the court yard. Quote: The gravel crunching underneath the steel plates of his boots would alert anyone nearby that someone was coming towards them. His feet had taken him to the garden that lay directly in front of the abbey. It sat there inviting the youth to come and take a whiff from the exotic flowers that displayed themselves before him. Quote: "Such beauty can't go on ignored, it should be enjoyed to its full potential." Such strong words came out in a soft whisper that was the boy's voice. It never rose and it never lowered, similar to that of a monotone. Well, when he was still sane. So with the smile still on his lips, he grasped an orange petaled plant whose name he didn't know. He plucked it from the garden and put the flower under his nose, sniffing the scent of it. It let out a rich, sweet aroma that undoubtedly attracted various insects to collect the pollen off it during spring. This time it had attracted the young male to it as well, but this male tended to be attracted to such things, appreciating them for what they were. Quote: "Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?! Do you think you can just go around sniffing everyone in there sacred areas?! You pervert!"A shrill voice shouted out angrily. The youth let out a grasp of fright, dropping the flower held in his hand. Pink eyes widened in fear as he saw that flower had grown teeth in the middle of it's petals and there were two eyes on the top petals. It was squirming on the ground like a fish out the water yelling up at him, yelling cruel insults up at him. The youth put a hand over his ears to block out the shouts of the flower, yet they would not go away. So instead his broken mind forced him to yell obscenities at the flower in front of him ordering it to be quiet and leave him alone. Quote: To anyone who might catch him during this moment would see him yelling at a normal flower that was only alive in the boy's imagination. The boy had trouble telling the difference from hallucinations and reality due to the fact his was mentally unstable.
With those points taken, I am done. It was a very good post. I enjoyed reading it hopefully as much as you enjoyed writing it. :3
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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:54 pm
After Aurak finishes the meats, rubs his stomach with a satisfying feeling of being full of the flesh he just devoured. Mmmm, That was delish! Stands from his spot and backs up a little, away from the cusions. Turns around until his back is to the table, walks a bit until his stomach felt a little uneasy. Stops and places his right claw on his stomach lightly. Oy... I should have asked them to make a couple of those meats raw, oh well... some fresh water ought to take care of it. Exits the dining room, walks down the hall where he ran down before to get to the dining room earlier.
Half-way down the hall, suddenly, a loud gong can be heard from above. Looking up towards the sound, realizing that was the bell tower again. The bell tolls at every fourth step Aurak took to go outside. After he reached outside, the bell chimed about eight times, stops and listens for the remaining chimes, nothing. So it is eight o'clock now. Looking up to the nights sky, seeing a beautiful blanket of stars, grouped together like the god himself placed them there. Feeling the cold stone path beneath his feet, he walks off onto a grassy feild by it and stops, admiring the sky above. Sits down on the grass, the grass felt cool on him, though damp due to the early dew, it still felt good to sit on. Continues to look at the sky as the stars flickers above, the moon shining brightly as a succulent full moon should shine. Lies back and dreams of one day, just one day, finally becoming the leader he was born to be.
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Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 2:01 pm
╧I'm fine with the corrections. That why I'm here. xD ╧
He grew tired with the flower in front of which had never once ceased to stop taunting him as he yelled for it to be quiet. The better part of his mind told him to simply walk away and forget about the flower, but the other part of his brain urged him to resort to a more violent method of ending the imaginary conflict. At this moment the violence looked like it would feel a lot better and his mind was in a more volatile state. Naturally he abandoned the peace act and grabbed the plant from off the ground.
A savage excitement was able to be seen in his pink pupil's as fear could be seen on the flower's face. "What do you plan on doing? Going to sniff me again, you pervert?" The flower tried to sound tough but all it did was crack his voice. The boy let out a giggle dismissing the thought from his mind.
Slim, hairless fingers, pinched at an orange petal. He was rewarded with a shrill plead begging him to stop, but he had already went off the deep point. Instead another giggle slipped between his lips and pulled. The petal ripped off slowly and the tortured flower shrieked. Normally this would have caused the normally sweet man to cower in fear of what he did, but in this instance another giggled followed by another ripping off a petal.
A few minutes later petals that were once on the flower were now decorating the cobble stone below. The insane man who was giggling made only minutes ago was oddly quiet, studying the flower in his hand. It looked emaciated without it's vibrant petals to cover part of the stem. Tongue licked at wet lips that anticipated what was going to happen next. The flower was put into his mouth without so much as a warning. He chewed the flower as if in deep thought and quickly jerked his head around to see if anyone had seen him commit this murderous act upon nature. Yet all the screaming and crying the flower had done was only seen in his broken mind.
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Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 2:55 pm
I look to the sky and see the stars for what they really are. They aren't the lifeless balls of super-heated plasma that people think they are; they are alive. They are the children of gods; they are the sons of Ζεύς and Óðinn. They are the b*****d ilk borne from the wombs of mortal lovers, ripped out before they could truly be called alive. Thrown to the heavens, by primal will alone they seek a way to live and thus shield themselves in fire. Celestial pupa wrapped in cocoons of flame, they await the moment their metamorphosis is complete. It never is, not now.
After the first of the pupa was born from its nova at the dawning of the universe, everything changed for those bastards' fathers. After the first of those maladies crossed the threshold into life, there could be no others. What was born from that doubled-incubation was no manner of man or god, but some devilish hybrid. It was black and terrible and seethed with malice. It had none of the compassion that was known to man and none of the self-restraint that was of gods. It laid waste to all the life that came before it and was known as Death. It had to be stopped and it barely was.
For hundreds of years, the gods fought against that which their neglect had borne. They were guerrilla fighters taking up arms against a mightier foe. They would draw it to one battlefield, wound it as best they could, and then run as soon as they were able. They knew that they couldn't hope to win on an even battlefield, so they did all they could do to prevent its conception. Even so though, they took losses, heavy losses.
The first thing the gods' lost was their home on Terra. Across Pangaea the mountain-top paradises of the various pantheons were razed and the pets therein, voracious reptilian things, were slaughtered. The next thing they lost were the great ornate highways they laid across the heavens. Once used as staging grounds for the gods' great processions, all that was left after Death's visit were great belts of rubble. Their final loss occurred in their numbers. Through the countless battles with their child, they lost their greater portion until finally only a couple hundred remained. At that point, lost to all strategies but the most subversive, they turned to the esoteric knowledge they had vowed never to use. Sacrificing a hundred of their dwindling number, they were able to dilute Death's power. In doing such they spread it across the great swathes of creation and introduced finality to what was once an eternal paradise. That was not the end though.
Though they were able to weaken Death to the point of being unable to hurt them but in their weakest states, it still lived. Unwilling to allow it to go about on its lonesome and possibly gather power, or its brethren, to attack them again, they instead gave it the task of transporting the dead. Even with it so taken up till the end of time, the gods had still felt its power and thus wished none of its like to be born again.
Drawing what was left of their number from hiding, the leader of the remaining gods, Jehovah, in the presence of the ghost Death, bid that the gods forever imprison those bastards who were already “taken to the sky,” let those who would come live undisturbed, and forever restrain themselves from loosing evils like those they had so recently conceived. Fearing what would happen if they did not follow his commandments, the remaining gods agreed to his wishes. Such is their fear of him and of their bastards that caused Zeus to take such care with Hercules and Ra to give such lofty positions to his sons. Of course, things rarely go as the gods plan.
Pondering on that fact, I look at the stars and smile with ageless sadism. I know the truth of the gods and their b*****d sons and what they did to them. I know of their fiery cocoons and how their umbilicals were sewn to the back of their throats. I know of the painful growth they experience as they sacrifice power for life in an endless, and ultimately useless, struggle to live. I know of how they kill themselves long before they would be born and how even the parasitic twin who feeds off his brother only ends up writhing until death in an agonizing half-life. I know it all, and deep inside, I know that somewhere someone is feeding Death's brother and soon he'll be born.
I whisper to myself, “It's a boy!”
My laugh carries through the abbey and into the surrounding countryside. Even to me, it seems full of loathing and ages old contempt. As I continue to look up at the sky, visions of burning bastards glint in my eyes.
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:02 am
The late night air hit her with a rush as Aniur stepped outside. Instantly, she could feel her nose chill with bite of autumn quickly coming upon the region. Wisps of steam could be seen coming off of the smooth mug that occupied her hands as the small shaft of light retreated with the closing of the kitchen's side door. At the moment, the warmed cup was a godsend.
Quickly, her eyes adjusted to the low amounts of light the moon provided. In front of her lie a the abbey's vegetable gardens, neat little rows tended to every day with care. The harvest squashes would be ready soon. Thoughts of pies and soups spiced with cinnamon danced in her head. Food aside, the colors of fall were brilliant making it her favorite season of the year.
Breathing in the slowly waning vapors from the spiced tea, she takes a small sip. It was only at such late times she was allowed to be alone with her thoughts. The shrine's silent grounds wrapped around her, a pleasant cloak of darkness and calm. Mentally she noted the positions of all her students. They would be allowed to roam the grounds free of her meddling so long as they caused no major troubles to their fellow students.
To the right on the hill she observed, the Dragon-Kin lay, perhaps musing of things she knew nothing about. There were no such things as the dragon people in Bith, her homeland. A variety of lycans, yes. Dragons, no. His mere size had been the slightest of shock to her upon meeting him. She had dismissed the feeling of awe reminding herself that there were many more wondrous things she had and had yet to see in this world.
Presently, her mind turned to other things. Delicate, strong fingers played with a medallion that had been brought out from beneath her armor. It was a ritual preformed unnoticed by her every time he came to mind. Her brow furrowed in displeasure for a moment, then a blank stare came over her face as she studied the ground.
It was the one fault she allowed herself to have. Tangible longing laced her soul, drawing up some deep part of her she could not ignore. Try as she might, it would not be dispelled by force. So instead of working against it, she had decided to bide her time. Manipulating it, encouraging it, testing it. Soon would come the time she would request her Goddess this one trespass. With any luck, it would be granted. Her vision blurred a bit with pleasure and anticipation of what was to come. Tea sloshed to the ground as her arm fell to her side. It went unnoticed.
From sun rise to sun set, it was this that had become her driving force and for the moment, it consumed her. Thoughts of him filled her senses, shutting out everything around her. Time pass unevenly until she was broken from her daze by a high, piercing squawk. Yet another person had entered the abbey. Something wasn't right though. It could just have been her state of mind, but the tone had sounded wild, feral even.
Regaining control, she notes the bad end to good tea that lies at her feet. The screech draws her attention again, compelling her to follow it to it's origin. A hand swiftly tugs on the huge broad sword to her side, making sure it was clear of its scabbard in case something was amiss that talking would not resolve. Her mind half wandered back to her previous thoughts.
The imaged burned in her mind. She would have his head on a pike, displayed for all bear witness the reward to those who dare cross her country, her Goddess or her loved ones.
Kaflar would die a horrible death.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:27 pm
((Don't get mad at me for doing this, But I need to in order to keep this forum from being lost... XD))
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