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 Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:51 am
walter_sensei ninja new here but i think i could pass this RP sample: *wakes up and looks at the clook* gonk damn it!! im late for class agan! hokage-sama i going to kill me if i dont get soon! *makes his caffe and jumps into the shawer* i better call the school, to tell them im going to be late(agan). i really need to start seting my alarm clock. *walter gets to his class* hey guys, sorry im late (agan). sweatdrop hope u can come around to forgive me. now today i will be give u a histery lession *class sighs* yah yah, i know, its boring. but just trust me on this one, it will help u out later in life.*walter hives his long lession on the 1st.2nd 3ed, and the 4th hokage's. okay, now here are some points of advice, -describe happenings, good: Daniel woke up bad: *wakes up* -mention the characters name at least once per post, now i don't know the character you made the RP sample with, for people like me (who have more then 10 different characters) it would be even more confusing, people don't know with wich character i RP if i do something like that -put quotes between " ", good: Tsurugi turned around and smiled "hi brother, how are you doing?" bad: *turns around* hi brother, how are you doing? -no emotes, describe someone's feelings, emotes are stricy forbidden in RP good: Nidan sighed heavily while closing his eyes "Hanabi, don't do that again please" bad: *sighs* sweatdrop don't do that again -if there are thoughts like (again), put that just like someones speach but then in italics good: Heishi walked into the office and nodded "Jikan Heishi reporting, sorry for being late" "again" he thought immedeatly after but he didn't say it, hoping the Kusakage would forget his tardiness a bit bad: *walks into office* "Jikan Heishi reporting, sorry for being late (again) ----------------------------------------- hope this clears up a lot of things
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:35 am
Bakuro Ein Here goes for my test, took me forever to read all those rules! By the way tell me if anything is particularily lacking in my punctuation/grammar/vocabulary, english isn't my first language so I sometimes mix up some rules... Test submission:"I'll get to it right away!", cheerfully shouted Ein. He ran outside the house, his face still marked with the mysterious extracts his clan's elders used for the ceremony, and headed towards the woods where his parents would allow him to play on warm, sunny days like this one. "Ok where could I find --", he suddenly stops as he notices a brown rabbit standing next to a tree. "A bunny! This would be really cool for my first try at this...". The young boy tries with all his skill to approach the animal silently. Step by step, staring at the ground to avoid breaking any twigs that could scare off his long eared test subject. He approaches... he gets closer, CLOSER, CLOSER... "EIN! What's the matter with you? Running off like that when everyone came to watch your initiation ritual! You come back here this instant young man!", screamed his mother from his house's front door. Spooked by the woman's blood freezing scream, the little furball runs off into the woods, leaving the gleaming eyed boy behind. "Ah man...". Ein starts heading back towards his house. "Guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to try out my animal mimicry technique..." Pass! Nice! sorry to the others, I'll leave you to Ivory and co ^^;
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kouri-chan_xx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 1:42 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 2:24 pm
-c4-cyberlink walter_sensei ninja new here but i think i could pass this RP sample: *wakes up and looks at the clook* gonk damn it!! im late for class agan! hokage-sama i going to kill me if i dont get soon! *makes his caffe and jumps into the shawer* i better call the school, to tell them im going to be late(agan). i really need to start seting my alarm clock. *walter gets to his class* hey guys, sorry im late (agan). sweatdrop hope u can come around to forgive me. now today i will be give u a histery lession *class sighs* yah yah, i know, its boring. but just trust me on this one, it will help u out later in life.*walter hives his long lession on the 1st.2nd 3ed, and the 4th hokage's. okay, now here are some points of advice, -describe happenings, good: Daniel woke up bad: *wakes up* -mention the characters name at least once per post, now i don't know the character you made the RP sample with, for people like me (who have more then 10 different characters) it would be even more confusing, people don't know with wich character i RP if i do something like that -put quotes between " ", good: Tsurugi turned around and smiled "hi brother, how are you doing?" bad: *turns around* hi brother, how are you doing? -no emotes, describe someone's feelings, emotes are stricy forbidden in RP good: Nidan sighed heavily while closing his eyes "Hanabi, don't do that again please" bad: *sighs* sweatdrop don't do that again -if there are thoughts like (again), put that just like someones speach but then in italics good: Heishi walked into the office and nodded "Jikan Heishi reporting, sorry for being late" "again" he thought immedeatly after but he didn't say it, hoping the Kusakage would forget his tardiness a bit bad: *walks into office* "Jikan Heishi reporting, sorry for being late (again) ----------------------------------------- hope this clears up a lot of things ok thanks u sensei. i'll try to do better next time *walter nods*
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 2:54 pm
heavyheddle Ok I just got in and here I go. I think this is the first thing im supposed to do but I read the battle system ( so much like D&D loving it ) but if im out of order just tell me. RP sampleGroaning, Tetzue leaned against a tree worn out from the day of training he had just completed. "I can't wait till i can go on real missions and get money and fame," said Tetzue. With that said tetzue had a hardened look upon his face once again, as if by saying that hes energy he had spent training had returned. "Break tims up." whispered tutzue to himself, and that night tetzue didnt sleep he trained and trained and trained till he collapsed the next morning. End, well I hope you like it! can't wait to start Rping Pass. Very nice. 3nodding Just a side note -- though its not necessary -- don't be afraid to but more descriptions. Like the area he's training in, what he's wearing, etc.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:00 pm
sandspiral Ok, I will try my best. My characters name is sandru gatzo RP Sample: Walking through the cold dead forest, sandru thought to him self could there be any enemy up ahead, he looked at the ground, he noticed faint foot prints. He thought to him self, "these are to big to be human". Sandru heard a snap in the bush, he quickly but silently removed a ki knife from his side pocket, he formed a defensive stance. He was now ready for any incoming attack. The cause of the noise swiftly left the bush, "it's a bunny". He lowered his tensed shoulders and continued to walk with the ki knife still firmly in his hand. Hmmm...I'm two ways about this one. It would be better if you could vary your sentences. They are all: subject, verb, predicate. Mix it up a little bit. And don't forget capitalization and that little rule about runon sentences. Grammar is your friend. >.> Lastly, more descriptions please! Is he nervous? What is he thinking? What does the area look like? Things like that make a big differenece. Give me another RP sample with the above suggestions added in. Sorry if I sound so strict. I promise I'm not an elitist or whatever they call those people nowadays. I can just see that you have the potential to be better. So use it!
Side Note: I'm always so wordy with my replies. T-T It's never just a Pass or Fail...
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 4:45 am
Shizuka_Kage Wrote: Quote: Ooh! I like your character. ^^ Same thing actually. Your RP skills are good. But you need to watch your capitalization and spelling. It really doesn't take that much longer to check over your post before submitting it. And it saves the rest of us alot of headache. xD Pass. You create your character by going to the Game System Forum. After completing the necessary form, PM it to the Kage of your chosen village. If you have any other questions: First- Read the Battle System threads again. Second- Read them again. Third- If you still can't figure it out, just ask your question in one of the appropriate thread or PM one of the mods. ^^ Yeah! I pass!
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 9:06 am
walter_sensei ok thanks u sensei. i'll try to do better next time *walter nods* where did you get the idea that i'm a sensei? sweatdrop Judo? 2nd Kyu, not even black belt Aikido? 6th Kyu, just started for a few months Gaia? no RP sensei, maybe my characters when i teach genin or students, but nothing else
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:16 pm
Ok, let's do it.
My character's name is Ryogukyoku Ookami.
Rp Sample;
-Deep within the desert in the land of wind, a single man stood in the middle of the sand. The desert was calm on that day as the hot sun beat down on his body, the humid air was vibrant and gave him a bit of an energetic boost. Each grain of sand shone and reflected a little piece of sunlight, giving the desert it's great majestic prowess. How he adored this place, his home. He bent down and cupped a handful of sand and lifted it in his palm, as the grains slid from the webbing's of his fingers, like sand in an hourglass the tan mineral cascaded to the ground in a miniature waterfall. He looked up, seeing the village of sand not that far off. He had been heading this way and stopped so he could get in a little training. He tilted his head back and placed his body against the sunlight, taking a deep breath. The desert goddess was quite pleasing today.-
-He wore a pair of black hakama pants, and over those a black lower dress that cut on either side. His upper body wore a black sweatshirt, with a long red sash going around his middle. He had long hair, bright green that shone in the sun like shining emeralds, and his eyes were hidden by long green bangs. He was slightly fatigued from all of the excess training he was putting himself through. He looked up, and his eyes became visible. They were a dull, and listless gray. But two people had seen otherwise, two people had seen bright emeraled eyes with a bloodlust not many could muster. He gulped in air as he panted, and placed both hands together in a hand sign. His right index and middle finger were pointing straight up against his chest, and his left index and middle finger were placed atop the middle of his right two fingers, vertically, forming a cross. His voice was serene, but cut and firm.-
"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu."
-A single shadow clone made itself visible in front of him, and he looked upon it as it looked upon him. He raised both hands in a fighting stance and the other mimicked him. The Bunshin attacked first, rushing him and swinging it's left leg to his head. He dropped low, and placed the underside of his hand against the Bunshin's ankle, and pushed it to one side. The Bunshin went along with the movement, and swung it's other leg while it spun from being pushed. He ducked under the leg and rushed forward, and placed both hands to the Bunshin's chest. His eyes went wide as he began the offensive.-
-He curled his right palm into a fist and slammed them into the Bunshin's stomach. The Bunshin bent over while exhaling sharply from losing air, and he grabbed the back of the Bunshin's head. He pushed the Bunshin down and used the momentum to jump up, he turned in place while high in the air, and spun in place three times. He lifted his heel high into the air and brought it back down, chakra flowing from the sole of his foot. He flew down towards the ground, feeling the rush of battle surging through him. The color of his chakra was indeed odd, a very bright green, a color he enjoyed very much. Why, he could not place. His foot neared the Bunshin's back as he shouted.-
"DYNAMITE HEEL!"
-He slammed his heel into the Bunshin's back and sand came up in a roar around the clone as it cried out in pain. It fell limp and vanished in a puff of smoke. He breathed in, and then out deeply, swiping both hands to the side. Clear. He looked forward at the village of sand which, as stated, wasn't too far off. He began towards the large gates. He wanted to become a shinobi. He was twelve, and deserved at least that much. His new life began today. His new life as a Shinobi. He had made a promise to himself a while ago. About eight years ago.-
-He tilted his head back slightly, closing his eyes as the sun beat down on his face. The memory was still fresh in his mind, the form of Ryogukyoku kneeling down on the ground and weeping and sobbing as he knelt alone. He was kneeling in front of a battlefield, and there were warrior's all staring upon his body with disgust. One of the warrior's raised his spear and the tip of it glinted in the light. Ryogukyoku looked up and looked upon the battlefield with his gray eyes and fell silent at what he saw.-
-It was a vast desert plain, the sand was upturned from a sandstorm, and the tan wind was still blowing up the dull mineral. Red blotches decorated the sand, arm's and other limbs sticking up from below the sand, motionless and unmoving. Bodies were still on the surface at some places as well, spears, kunai, shuriken, katana's, and numerous other weapon's protruded from each body, steel wire was wrapped around several neck's as well. Ryogukyoku looked up quietly, his eyes blank and listless gray. This was the day he had realized death would always be a part of him. He looked upon the man with gray eyes. The man raised the spear, but stopped when he looked into Ryogukyoku's eyes. The gray orbs pulsed twice, before turning an exuberant green and gaining thin, wolf-like pupils that resembled diamonds. His voice echoed within his throat, and was murderous, holding great animosity.-
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!"
-Ryogukyoku let out a defeaning, animal roar as a green blur flashed. He gasped as reality came back into check and he placed a hand against his forehead as he fell forward slightly. He huffed twice, taking deep shuddering breath's from the memory that had surfaced once more. He looked up at the village of sand, speaking solemnly.-
"I will become a shinobi. I will become powerful. I am Ryokugyoku Ookami."
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:43 pm
A single leaf fell from a very large tree. The hotigisu bird call rang throughout the forest. All was still, moonlight occasionally peering through the clouds, only to be blocked by the thick canopy of the trees.
-Tak-
Soon, the silence was broken by a quick, light tapping sound against a tree branch. Before that branch's aftershock vibrations ceased, another quick tapping sound was heard, and a black figure shot past overhead.
Hours earlier and miles away, the daimyo of the Fire country signed a deal with the Otogakure, hoping for some form of peace in these chaotic times. With Orochimaru dead, the Fire country believed the two countries could finally become allies. Little did he know, though, that the Land of Sound was only using this peace treaty as a way to get the fire country, and in turn the esteemed Konohagakure unguarded to an attack. Sending the son of the Nidaime Otokage, Kabuto Yakushi, the Village Hidden in Sound knew that it was only a matter of time before Konoha was at their feet...
---
The shinobi wore a white frog-shaped mask over his face with green markings around the eyes and nostrils. Though his face was hidden, black hair sprouted from underneath the ceramic cover. A blacksteel kusarigama was hooked to his his black pants, a shinobi gatana strabbed to the back of his black shinobi gi. Within his shuriken holster strapped to his right thigh, exactly ten poison senbon needles were tucked safely, one for each 'obstacle' he would have to face upon reach the village--- according to his specs.
Somewhere in the distance, a hototigisu bird spread its wings and took flight. At that moment, the masked shinobi did the same.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:27 pm
The Conductor Of Shadow Ok, let's do it. My character's name is Ryogukyoku Ookami. Rp Sample; -Deep within the desert in the land of wind, a single man stood in the middle of the sand. The desert was calm on that day as the hot sun beat down on his body, the humid air was vibrant and gave him a bit of an energetic boost. Each grain of sand shone and reflected a little piece of sunlight, giving the desert it's great majestic prowess. How he adored this place, his home. He bent down and cupped a handful of sand and lifted it in his palm, as the grains slid from the webbing's of his fingers, like sand in an hourglass the tan mineral cascaded to the ground in a miniature waterfall. He looked up, seeing the village of sand not that far off. He had been heading this way and stopped so he could get in a little training. He tilted his head back and placed his body against the sunlight, taking a deep breath. The desert goddess was quite pleasing today.-
-He wore a pair of black hakama pants, and over those a black lower dress that cut on either side. His upper body wore a black sweatshirt, with a long red sash going around his middle. He had long hair, bright green that shone in the sun like shining emeralds, and his eyes were hidden by long green bangs. He was slightly fatigued from all of the excess training he was putting himself through. He looked up, and his eyes became visible. They were a dull, and listless gray. But two people had seen otherwise, two people had seen bright emeraled eyes with a bloodlust not many could muster. He gulped in air as he panted, and placed both hands together in a hand sign. His right index and middle finger were pointing straight up against his chest, and his left index and middle finger were placed atop the middle of his right two fingers, vertically, forming a cross. His voice was serene, but cut and firm.-
"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu."
-A single shadow clone made itself visible in front of him, and he looked upon it as it looked upon him. He raised both hands in a fighting stance and the other mimicked him. The Bunshin attacked first, rushing him and swinging it's left leg to his head. He dropped low, and placed the underside of his hand against the Bunshin's ankle, and pushed it to one side. The Bunshin went along with the movement, and swung it's other leg while it spun from being pushed. He ducked under the leg and rushed forward, and placed both hands to the Bunshin's chest. His eyes went wide as he began the offensive.-
-He curled his right palm into a fist and slammed them into the Bunshin's stomach. The Bunshin bent over while exhaling sharply from losing air, and he grabbed the back of the Bunshin's head. He pushed the Bunshin down and used the momentum to jump up, he turned in place while high in the air, and spun in place three times. He lifted his heel high into the air and brought it back down, chakra flowing from the sole of his foot. He flew down towards the ground, feeling the rush of battle surging through him. The color of his chakra was indeed odd, a very bright green, a color he enjoyed very much. Why, he could not place. His foot neared the Bunshin's back as he shouted.-
"DYNAMITE HEEL!"
-He slammed his heel into the Bunshin's back and sand came up in a roar around the clone as it cried out in pain. It fell limp and vanished in a puff of smoke. He breathed in, and then out deeply, swiping both hands to the side. Clear. He looked forward at the village of sand which, as stated, wasn't too far off. He began towards the large gates. He wanted to become a shinobi. He was twelve, and deserved at least that much. His new life began today. His new life as a Shinobi. He had made a promise to himself a while ago. About eight years ago.-
-He tilted his head back slightly, closing his eyes as the sun beat down on his face. The memory was still fresh in his mind, the form of Ryogukyoku kneeling down on the ground and weeping and sobbing as he knelt alone. He was kneeling in front of a battlefield, and there were warrior's all staring upon his body with disgust. One of the warrior's raised his spear and the tip of it glinted in the light. Ryogukyoku looked up and looked upon the battlefield with his gray eyes and fell silent at what he saw.-
-It was a vast desert plain, the sand was upturned from a sandstorm, and the tan wind was still blowing up the dull mineral. Red blotches decorated the sand, arm's and other limbs sticking up from below the sand, motionless and unmoving. Bodies were still on the surface at some places as well, spears, kunai, shuriken, katana's, and numerous other weapon's protruded from each body, steel wire was wrapped around several neck's as well. Ryogukyoku looked up quietly, his eyes blank and listless gray. This was the day he had realized death would always be a part of him. He looked upon the man with gray eyes. The man raised the spear, but stopped when he looked into Ryogukyoku's eyes. The gray orbs pulsed twice, before turning an exuberant green and gaining thin, wolf-like pupils that resembled diamonds. His voice echoed within his throat, and was murderous, holding great animosity.-
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!"
-Ryogukyoku let out a defeaning, animal roar as a green blur flashed. He gasped as reality came back into check and he placed a hand against his forehead as he fell forward slightly. He huffed twice, taking deep shuddering breath's from the memory that had surfaced once more. He looked up at the village of sand, speaking solemnly.-
"I will become a shinobi. I will become powerful. I am Ryokugyoku Ookami."
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 6:28 pm
Akira_Shimizu A single leaf fell from a very large tree. The hotigisu bird call rang throughout the forest. All was still, moonlight occasionally peering through the clouds, only to be blocked by the thick canopy of the trees.
-Tak-
Soon, the silence was broken by a quick, light tapping sound against a tree branch. Before that branch's aftershock vibrations ceased, another quick tapping sound was heard, and a black figure shot past overhead.
Hours earlier and miles away, the daimyo of the Fire country signed a deal with the Otogakure, hoping for some form of peace in these chaotic times. With Orochimaru dead, the Fire country believed the two countries could finally become allies. Little did he know, though, that the Land of Sound was only using this peace treaty as a way to get the fire country, and in turn the esteemed Konohagakure unguarded to an attack. Sending the son of the Nidaime Otokage, Kabuto Yakushi, the Village Hidden in Sound knew that it was only a matter of time before Konoha was at their feet...
---
The shinobi wore a white frog-shaped mask over his face with green markings around the eyes and nostrils. Though his face was hidden, black hair sprouted from underneath the ceramic cover. A blacksteel kusarigama was hooked to his his black pants, a shinobi gatana strabbed to the back of his black shinobi gi. Within his shuriken holster strapped to his right thigh, exactly ten poison senbon needles were tucked safely, one for each 'obstacle' he would have to face upon reach the village--- according to his specs.
Somewhere in the distance, a hototigisu bird spread its wings and took flight. At that moment, the masked shinobi did the same.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:27 pm
-c4-cyberlink walter_sensei ok thanks u sensei. i'll try to do better next time *walter nods* where did you get the idea that i'm a sensei? sweatdrop Judo? 2nd Kyu, not even black belt Aikido? 6th Kyu, just started for a few months Gaia? no RP sensei, maybe my characters when i teach genin or students, but nothing else oh, my bad. i thought u were one
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:35 pm
Read the scrolls Redy to go! Lets do this...
Roxas walks out of the academy and laughs loudy. He looked up at the birds as he set his hands in his pockets. He wondered. "Now What?" he asked himself pulling a Country Map From His Pockets. "I Guess...I Join The War..." His Smile turned into a frown as he walked past the gate and vanished in a pale cloud of smoke..."LETS DO IT!"
HE Appeared In The Dessert Of Wind Country, He Looked as He Remembered The Dyas he Spent as a Child Here, The Great Blustering Winds Caressing His Face and His Own Paradise. His Life here had Been Amazing, but now he had to Begin What He Really had to Do, He Had Return and Become A Shinobi And Stop The War. Roxas, A Lazy, Couragous and Loyal Person would now see the horros of a war he had run away from for years. He Hated This World, So he Had TO put it right. One Way Or HIS WAY!
"I VOW THIS," Yelled Roxas "I'll Become Kazekage and Exact revenge on This Cruel World...I WILL MAKE A KAZE EMPIRE!"
His eyes Narrowed as he walked into the gates of Sunagakure....
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:53 pm
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