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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 9:49 am
"I don't know, Lucas. ...I don't know." There wasn't an answer. They were lab animals, and not even given the decency of having animal minds, so they wouldn't wholly know what was happening to them. They were such complex creatures, these feeling, emotional labrats. She didn't know what to tell him- not when he was so close to a brink she knew so well. A form of guilt had 'saved' her, keeping her from taking her own life or spiralling down into the darkness- but to what end? She'd been a zombie for the past few months, a shell of the vibrant personality she'd once been. There was a deep hurt in Emelyn, and the guilt she felt over having even that... disappointment, kept her on a manic edge. She didn't feel justified in giving Lucas any advice, to pull him from a brink into a white, nebulous world that was ugly in its clouds of denial and avoidance. She returned to a previous thought- that they didn't even have the priveledge of the animal mindset to free them some of the torment... and somehow, it seemed- if not 'right', at least the only thing she could think of to say.
"Maybe it's not a bad thing that the dhole is so present. Maybe for a while- you should... let it ... run things." It was delicate thing to suggest, and she didn't know how he would take it.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:09 am
"Run things?" there was disgust in his voice. Was it easy for her to say that because she was a hedgehog? So gentle and unthreatening, but for the protective spines on her back? What animal thoughts did she have? He wished he'd been given such an animal...instead of the wretched 'gift' that Sabin had injected him with. "So I become an animal? Preying on things in the forest and run wild? Accept that I'm a dog? Rip off the heads of turkeys like Zach?" The hair on his back rose at the thought. "I lost myself to the dhole for just a moment and this is what it gains me." He waved to his eye. Then he slumped again. "God...for that...For that!" After his argument, all his talk of not being a dog, never accepting, and the dhole had taken over in the end. It made him grit his teeth.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:17 am
She backed up, the ire in his voice settling the spines at her neck to a warning high point. She put her palms up, as well- a human gesture of defense that only added to her already hedgehog response.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that was why..." she stopped, swallowing her words. "I just thought that maybe you could use a break. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was what it was like for you." Lucas was right, in his way. In coupling her genes with that of a hedgehog, Emelyn was still an omnivorous, friendly creature with aims for food, sleep, and general protection that was untainted by an overabundance of fear. There was a reason that wild hedgehogs were quite susceptible to the many hedgehog ailments and fatal diseases: it was Mother Nature's way of balancing out the population of a species with few mortal enemies and little fear of life. There was the 'gross factor' for Emelyn, upturning logs to seek out grubs, and the sweet smell of compost- as well as the need to burrow beneath leaves and even the faint, far-away desire to lick a frothy mess onto her spines... but all in all, Emelyn couldn't understand the particular brand of horror that Lucas and some of the others were going through. Her own experience had been horrifying and raw for much more emotional reasons- betrayal, loss... and loneliness.
That was the fatal treasure of Moreau's Hell Island- that each and every 'resident' was the owner of a very different brand of horror.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:38 am
When she moved back and rose her hands in a defensive position, then saw the quills on her back move, his eye widened. The look was a horrified one. Did Emelyn believe he'd hurt her? That hurt. It struck deep.
"Oh...Emelyn, no. I wouldn't," his voice was soft. He wanted to reach out a reassuring hand, but now he worried the action might only alarm her further. Did he really appear and sound so dangerous?
But...was he really safe? He'd always been a gentle person. He wasn't violent. Hardly a violent thought entered his head before the Island. He had never been dangerous. Now a weapon had been forced into his hands, so wild and uncontrollable. He had no idea how to use it or even lock it away. These were urges he did not understand or know how to handle. It was now always there, he could feel it. Just below the surface, ready to jump out when his back was turned.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:41 am
She dropped her hands, puzzled at his reaction, and then her eyes went wide to match his as she connected his words to his actions.
"Oh, no, Lucas- I know you... you wouldn't do... no. I just didn't want to upset you any more."
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:48 am
He felt some relief at her words, but in the back of his mind he wondered. Did she just say that now to calm him? How much of that was true? He looked away from her.
"Can...can you get me the aspirin? I think it's still on the fridge." He wasn't positive. He knew what a mess it was out there. It probably got knocked over or even thrown.
He didn't really want the medicine, but he needed a moment to himself. To calm down. Perhaps Emelyn needed a moment to get away, too.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:00 am
"Sure. Of course." She eased to a stand, her right knee popping as she did so, and went across the room to the mini fridge to get the bottle. She opened the cap with a little difficulty, squeezing the childproof cap between her hairless fingers in a way that her claws wouldn't interfere. She poured a handful into her palm, then shuffled the small white pills back into the bottle until only three remained. She replaced the cap and the bottle, then stood facing opposite of Lucas, the pills sheltered in the closed-off cave of her hand, and her eyes shut as she sighed softly. When she opened her eyes, her thoughts- and questions- which she didn't want to ask- were pushed aside. She thought to get some water from the bathroom for him to drink with the pills- maybe there would be a cup there he might be able to use. But on the way to the adjoining room, she brushed up against the bed and noticed for the first time the note there on the coverlet.
She didn't have to pick it up to read what it said. An eye for an eye. She shuddered, and found herself sinking to the bed. An eye for an eye. Who had written it? Who behind those white, pristine walls had that sort of horror in him? ...Or her. Lucas had said that the eye had been taken because he'd given himself over to the dhole- and now, here was a message saying that there was retribution behind it. Had he taken someone else's eye? Was there another sad, blind example on the island that she might one day come across and feel a similar sort of horror? Did Lucas deserve this?
She answered the question as soon as it solidified. Of course he didn't. His actions had been driven by the serum that they had inflicted upon him- in a moment of weakness. And who even knew the circumstances that would have provoked even an animal to blind someone? Animals don't feel spite, they don't feel anger- they strike for protection or for some manner of survival for themselves or others. Besides which.. in a world of eye for an eye... everyone would be blind.
Emelyn reached out and lay hand on the note, and she crumpled it. Then she went across the room and threw it almost vehemently into the trash. Her eyes welled up and she wiped the infant tears away angrily, as well. Only then did she clear her throat.
"Do you want something to drink these with, Lucas?" She asked, acting as if her grand pause had never occured.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:09 am
While she was gone he fiddled with the bandages, not quiet unwrapping them. The urge to remove the bandages had returned. Not only because they were uncomfortable, itchy and he'd had them on for about two days, but he wanted to see, even with just his hands, what was beneath them.
He was about to say no, but he knew he would never be able to down the pills with his throat so dry. He'd likely choke on them. When that idea started to sound rather appealing he pressed fingers to his temple and closed his eye while he willed those thoughts away.
"Yes, please."
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:13 am
She looked around the room, as if for the first time. It was a shambles. The only thing that seemed to be in place were those dog dishes for... she looked to the two canines. She'd not even asked about Lucas's new companion.
"Do... you have any bowls anywhere? All I can see is one for the dog. ...What's its name, by the way?" It was a veneer of normalcy, but it was better than nothing.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:30 am
Looking out the door of the closet, Lucas finally took in what he'd done. And he felt not the slightest bit regretful for it. "I don't know." His first thought was for cups, not bowls. Pulling himself out of the closet, he looked around. He found some of his wide-rimmed plastic cups cracked near the edge of the bed. Then he tried to stand to look around better but found himself too weak and disoriented at the attempt. Sighing, he gave in and crawled forward on his hands and knees a little, then reached out for a drawer in his desk. His hand fell short of the handle. Frowning, he reached again and pulled it open. Inside was a bowl that he'd taken from the cafeteria after he found it difficult to drink from cups. Regardless, he still tried to use cups, but occasionally turned to the use of the bowl when he was alone. He'd just as soon not use it now, but with no other cups available, it was the only option. "Dash. Dasher. His name is Dasher."
The dog perked at it's name being said and his tail wagged.
Exhausted from his exertion and panting slightly, he backed into the wall and rested against it.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:35 am
It was painful to watch him crawl, but likely not nearly as painful as it was for him. Emelyn took the bowl from him, and went to the sink in the bathroom to fill it. She felt no qualms in doing so- there was no indignity in drinking from a bowl, especially as she'd taken to it more often than not since her final transformation.
"Dasher," she said, turning off the faucet and balancing the bowl in her hand once the water level stopped sloshing. "That's a sweet name."She didn't ask where he came from. She'd been avoiding questioning so long now, that to focus on something trivial would be mocking- the very idea of it cloyed in her mind.
She came back and, kneeling near him, put the bowl next to his thigh, and offered out the pills in her hand. "Grandpa John used to say that aspirin on a weak stomach will make you sicker," she said softly- and simply.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:42 am
After the drawer handle, he moved slower this time with his hand movement. Picking up the bowl, for a minute his fingers fumbling to grip the edges, he set it on his lap. His hand moved slowly again when he reached to take the pills from her. "There's no food here," he replied turning his eye down to stare vacantly at the bowl of water in his hand. Aside from dry dogfood for Dasher the labs had provided weeks ago, he'd given all the food from the fridge to the dog.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:45 am
"Food's something I'm good at." She smiled wanly. Since coming back to the village, and away from the scavenger's lifestyle, she'd gained a good fifteen or twenty pounds on what had been a very lean frame. It was a combination of her human stress and the hedgehog notion of how much food should be consumed in a day, and the result was a rounding out of all her features.
"I'll go get you something. Are you mostly a meat eater these days? Cooked, or more on the rare side?" She said it simply, hoping that by not placing a stigma of hesitation on the words he'd let her help him without undue embarassment.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:50 am
"Not rare," he replied. As much as rare or raw might sound good to the dhole, the human side would not be able to stomach it. He didn't need to vomit in front of Emelyn, too.
Before he let her leave, though, he called out to stop her, but he did not lift his head to look at her. "My stick. My walking stick. I need it. It might still be in the Entertainment room.
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 11:52 am
"Alright. I'll be back soon. ...Do you mind if I take Dasher along? Does he mind?" She looked down at the dog, and was gifted with another flicker of a memory- someone coming in and out of a duplex with Reuben, while she turned on a feverish bed. It was viciously unpleasant, and her lips parted as if to hiss- but the sound was inaudible at best.
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