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 Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 2:45 pm
"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AND STOUT!"It's uncertain how he managed to say this in large, bold, pink font, but he did. "HERE IS MY HANDLE, HERE IS MY SPOUT! WHEN I GET ALL STEAMED UP, HERE ME SHOUT: TIP ME OVER AND..."
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Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 5:44 pm
..."Give me kinky vampire yaoi! NOW! Before my left ear explodes!"
So in order to oblige, the contractors put in a Gravitation DVD and hired Chester Bennington, Davey Havok, Amy Lee, and Kate Beckinsale to dance around in bathing suits, while covered in fake blood and eating chocolate cupcakes from....
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:28 pm
BETTY CROCKERbecause she just brings that magical, homey feeling to the most acid-washed and bare occasions. The Monkey was the first to snatch a treat, opening the floor for the entire animal kingdom to sweep in and help themselves. It was only the wise Platypus who called for a hush the madness. He said...
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 12:50 pm
"Hush little baby, don't say a word,
And nevermind that noise you heard
It's just the beasts under your bed
In your closet, in your head!"
And thusly, the Platypus was eaten by a rabid Metallica fan. It just goes to show that wisdom...
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 5:12 pm
shouldn't be passed along in the classic metal band style. You never know who's listening. After finishing is quite tasty meal, the crazed fan reached into his pocket to pull out none other than....
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 9:17 pm
The moon! Upon which he was promptly crushed by it, as well as by some larger than life sized white raspberry tea bottles. His mother cried, because...
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 2:33 pm
... her son had been allergic to white raspberry tea, and she thought that the tea killed her son. However, he was not dead! After a few minutes, he suddenly emerged from underneath the moon as a beaver. He jumped up on his mother's lap and said...
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 3:00 pm
"DAM that was a trip!...Get it? Get it? I'm a beaver. Beavers build dams? It's just.... what they do. It was a joke, Mum." But his mother did not find the humor, and she....
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 4:16 pm
Thwapped him with her purse, because her son was allergic to purses. He fell on his...
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 4:46 pm
severely sharp beaver teeth. they were SO severely sharp that they ripped through the flooring and created a massive hole in the universe. through the hole he jumped and was caught by a giant net made of...
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:21 am
long and beautiful golden hair. but the net was quickly swiped from beneath him by the owner of the hair, Repunzel, who cried...
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 5:42 pm
"Get out of my house of sonnets, I say! You are tainting the poems, you slithy little badger!"
The beaver was severely offended by this comment. "I am NOT a badger, but a beaver, young miss," he said. "Badgers belong to Helga Hufflepuff, and she lives far away from here."
"Not too far away," replied Rapunzel. "Why, I saw her just yesterday. She was..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:34 pm
"down at the odds and ends shop, looking for little doodads to use in her silly little spells and whatnot. I swear that hobbies such as those are in no way productive, she should take up knitting! Or crocheting!" Rapunzel crossed her arms and pouted, while glaring off in the distance, where she soon saw a...
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:59 pm
whirlwind of odds and ends, charging straight towards her with great speed. through the air sliced Helga Hufflepuff's deep and threatening voice. she said...
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:36 pm
"What a racket you all are making! Didn't you realize that I was trying to meditate, you silly little mortals." Then Helga switfly brought out a broken wand and tried to turn them both into frogs, but sadly, only succeded in turning them to fruit. As soon as they brought themselves back to thier non-existant feet, they...
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