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 Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:24 pm
Skad_for_Life Judyfay Sins A little more prose. This was written in a very lonely time. Fingertips splay over the cold empty space on the pillow beside me. Once again I catch myself sinking into that empty space I attempt to occupy with thoughts of what could be. I can't help but wonder why I always bring things back to this. The emptyness overpowers what should be the blissfull end to chaos and I clench my eyes shut in the hope that maybe I will awaken to somthing more. That all the pain is just preperation. A conditioning of myself to take eternity with someone, and place it upon the highest pedestal I can build, never to let it fall or be replaced by anything false or trivial. And as my thoughts begin to wander, I find that a new warmth wells up within me. The fantasy of romance and joy brought on by the joining of heart and soul with someone who will return my obsession with the others simple happiness replaces the cold darkness of my dejected state. But only for a moment, because when the truth of the dream is revealed to me by my painfull grip on what is real, I can no longer live in a false state of happiness and delusional bliss. My only choise is to rise up and face the day again with all that I am willing to offer it. As you may have noticed, I have a tendancy to write in long, run on sentances. I just find that I can capture the emotion being felt better if I don't concern myself with proper sentance structure. Because if you think about it, when your feeling somthing. You are not feeling it in nice little organized snippets. I really like the free-form feel of it. Heh, thanks, that's what I enjoy about writing it, is the freedom of simply pouring what I feel onto a page.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:47 pm
Why wuz everybody fraid oh my peom, it has deep meaning to me, and know it not have to dod wit satan
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:48 pm
I wrote this to help me forget about a girl I once loved. . .
I am nuetrality. I am a void. There is a hole in me. emotionless, painless, joyless. Even though I am over her, she still stings like a cut that won't heal. she betrayed me. she is the only one that could have and she did. I want to know why, but I don't want to hear the answer. I felt her pain with her, shared her burdens. I would have killed for her. I though God sent her to give me hope, I was wrong. she took my heart; I got it back with a cut in it. like she cut herself, she cut me as well. I want to find someone to heal me, but something holds me fast. I've stopped caring about myself as well. I take showers only to wash away the smell, food is something I eat without regard for content or portion, my teeth get a new layer of plaque daily. whether they notice or not, I can't tell, and I'm not sure if I would care if they did.
the world is two demensional now. its all just a series of pictures in sequence, like a video game that runs too slowly. this is depression, this is the bane of my existence and the boon of my writing. cursed with a gift. only in moments of extreme mental weakness can I do this.
my eyes are empty, I can feel it. the life is gone from them. the desire to close them and shut out the world forever is intense. like the pool in florida where I almost went under. the edge is a lonely place; its cold, and empty. you can't see the bottom, and you don't care if you find out what it looks like.
(I don't know, I think the cutting metaphore gets a little redundant after a while. but hey, tell me what yall think.)
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:51 pm
MangaJoe He stalks the night with no dreams. He hunts evil with a bright gleam. You see him in your nightmares and mistake hime for the monster. Dowtrodden and misunderstood are his only friends. But I know him as a savior. Dressed balck is an angle of hope with gleaming wings. Cast out of heaven for wanting to be redeemed. To bad for heaven, to good for hell. He is the DarkSavior. I like it, it portrays what I think the ideal anti-hero is.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 3:39 pm
Beast0 MangaJoe He stalks the night with no dreams. He hunts evil with a bright gleam. You see him in your nightmares and mistake hime for the monster. Dowtrodden and misunderstood are his only friends. But I know him as a savior. Dressed balck is an angle of hope with gleaming wings. Cast out of heaven for wanting to be redeemed. To bad for heaven, to good for hell. He is the DarkSavior. I like it, it portrays what I think the ideal anti-hero is. Exacto me amigo, the poem is about a hero I writing up a story for, I been work'in on teh story for... lesse, 4 years, no lie.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 3:42 pm
Beast0 I wrote this to help me forget about a girl I once loved. . . I am nuetrality. I am a void. There is a hole in me. emotionless, painless, joyless. Even though I am over her, she still stings like a cut that won't heal. she betrayed me. she is the only one that could have and she did. I want to know why, but I don't want to hear the answer. I felt her pain with her, shared her burdens. I would have killed for her. I though God sent her to give me hope, I was wrong. she took my heart; I got it back with a cut in it. like she cut herself, she cut me as well. I want to find someone to heal me, but something holds me fast. I've stopped caring about myself as well. I take showers only to wash away the smell, food is something I eat without regard for content or portion, my teeth get a new layer of plaque daily. whether they notice or not, I can't tell, and I'm not sure if I would care if they did. the world is two demensional now. its all just a series of pictures in sequence, like a video game that runs too slowly. this is depression, this is the bane of my existence and the boon of my writing. cursed with a gift. only in moments of extreme mental weakness can I do this. my eyes are empty, I can feel it. the life is gone from them. the desire to close them and shut out the world forever is intense. like the pool in florida where I almost went under. the edge is a lonely place; its cold, and empty. you can't see the bottom, and you don't care if you find out what it looks like. (I don't know, I think the cutting metaphore gets a little redundant after a while. but hey, tell me what yall think.) That's so sad...I really like the stream-of-consciousness style.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:10 pm
Skad_for_Life MamaCatt Dedicated to one of the best guys and friends I've ever had...Mark...my scary movie/Simpsons watching/Spawn collecting/H.R. Giger loving/Rachael Ray lusting/Starbucks fanatical friend....I hate what you did...and I miss you so much crying What were you thinking
That day you left and never looked back?
What were you thinking
The week you spent gone
Leaving us with our imaginations?
Did you get our messages..our pleads..our fears...our CRIES?
Did you even listen, or dodge them in fear of the connection?
Had you any idea, that bits of us were dying everyday you were missing
Once we knew the gun was gone?
What was the straw that broke you?
Was it the money...your pride?
Did you...could you realize all the people you touched in your life
All the people who cared?
Do you know the pain and anger and loss I felt
When they told me they found you?
Did you know there were screams ripping through my mouth
That I never heard?
Why are we still waiting for it to feel real
To hit us so hard one day, it knocks us over?
Do you know how much it still hurts
How much I still miss you
How I want to call you or see your goofy grin
That I see something and smile thinking you'd like it ..or make fun of it?
Do you know how strange it is for me to see a scary movie
Knowing you should be there?
I hate that you took one of my best friends from me!
But I know you had to be in so much pain
Pain we grew blind to from the cataracts of your
"It's nothing..I'm fines"?
We would have helped...would have TRIED anything
If you had just let us in...let us see
But your pride..DAMN IT TO HELL YOUR PRIDE!
I still cry...I am now..typing this...it never went to paper
It's coming straight from heart
Heart...you had a big one, always thinking of others...of me
Did you know I loved you? I never told you...but I did.
God, help me, I loved his strange a**!
I'd give anything...anything to see him again....to see his smile
For one...just one more bear hug....anything.
I miss you... This made me cry so hard.. I really feel it. crying Wiping tears away...me too. And I am pretty uncryable.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:12 pm
Fuzzy Necromancer Skad_for_Life It's Valentine's Day
(April 04, 2003)
VERSE 1:Found a conversation heart on the floor of my bedroom Took one glance and I knew that it spelled doom Ran down the stairs completely terrified In search of a safer place to hide Went to the basement and screamed at what I saw There was a cardboard Cupid hanging on the wall I was so flustered I couldn't even speak So I ran out of the house and into the street CHORUS: It's Valentine's day Yes it's Valentine's day All you sentimental people Please just stay the hell away I don't ask for much Just to be on my own No I don't want to buy a card Leave me alone VERSE 2: It got even worse as I walked through town My eardrums were pierced by a deafening sound It was the squeal of a girl who just got engaged This stupid Valentine's Day was making me enraged The card companies glorify this holiday Even single people get caught up in the fray But this is a battle that no one can win As Hallmark exclaims "We reeled another sucker in!" CHORUS I ******** hate valentines day. I say we boycott it and celebrate the day after it as "Chocolate is half off" day! scream I'm with you... We hates it..
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:23 pm
Beast0 I wrote this to help me forget about a girl I once loved. . . I am nuetrality. I am a void. There is a hole in me. emotionless, painless, joyless. Even though I am over her, she still stings like a cut that won't heal. she betrayed me. she is the only one that could have and she did. I want to know why, but I don't want to hear the answer. I felt her pain with her, shared her burdens. I would have killed for her. I though God sent her to give me hope, I was wrong. she took my heart; I got it back with a cut in it. like she cut herself, she cut me as well. I want to find someone to heal me, but something holds me fast. I've stopped caring about myself as well. I take showers only to wash away the smell, food is something I eat without regard for content or portion, my teeth get a new layer of plaque daily. whether they notice or not, I can't tell, and I'm not sure if I would care if they did. the world is two demensional now. its all just a series of pictures in sequence, like a video game that runs too slowly. this is depression, this is the bane of my existence and the boon of my writing. cursed with a gift. only in moments of extreme mental weakness can I do this. my eyes are empty, I can feel it. the life is gone from them. the desire to close them and shut out the world forever is intense. like the pool in florida where I almost went under. the edge is a lonely place; its cold, and empty. you can't see the bottom, and you don't care if you find out what it looks like. (I don't know, I think the cutting metaphore gets a little redundant after a while. but hey, tell me what yall think.) Not only do I like it, I live it. Maybe I didn't get on this path the same way you did, but I am on it none the less. I am trying hard to fight my way back to having a care again.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:00 pm
Skad_for_Life It's Valentine's Day
(April 04, 2003)
VERSE 1:Found a conversation heart on the floor of my bedroom Took one glance and I knew that it spelled doom Ran down the stairs completely terrified In search of a safer place to hide Went to the basement and screamed at what I saw There was a cardboard Cupid hanging on the wall I was so flustered I couldn't even speak So I ran out of the house and into the street CHORUS: It's Valentine's day Yes it's Valentine's day All you sentimental people Please just stay the hell away I don't ask for much Just to be on my own No I don't want to buy a card Leave me alone VERSE 2: It got even worse as I walked through town My eardrums were pierced by a deafening sound It was the squeal of a girl who just got engaged This stupid Valentine's Day was making me enraged The card companies glorify this holiday Even single people get caught up in the fray But this is a battle that no one can win As Hallmark exclaims "We reeled another sucker in!" CHORUS
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:49 pm
kristinarr Skad_for_Life It's Valentine's Day
(April 04, 2003)
VERSE 1:Found a conversation heart on the floor of my bedroom Took one glance and I knew that it spelled doom Ran down the stairs completely terrified In search of a safer place to hide Went to the basement and screamed at what I saw There was a cardboard Cupid hanging on the wall I was so flustered I couldn't even speak So I ran out of the house and into the street CHORUS: It's Valentine's day Yes it's Valentine's day All you sentimental people Please just stay the hell away I don't ask for much Just to be on my own No I don't want to buy a card Leave me alone VERSE 2: It got even worse as I walked through town My eardrums were pierced by a deafening sound It was the squeal of a girl who just got engaged This stupid Valentine's Day was making me enraged The card companies glorify this holiday Even single people get caught up in the fray But this is a battle that no one can win As Hallmark exclaims "We reeled another sucker in!" CHORUS you alone at valentine's too?
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:51 pm
Beast0 kristinarr Skad_for_Life It's Valentine's Day
(April 04, 2003)
VERSE 1:Found a conversation heart on the floor of my bedroom Took one glance and I knew that it spelled doom Ran down the stairs completely terrified In search of a safer place to hide Went to the basement and screamed at what I saw There was a cardboard Cupid hanging on the wall I was so flustered I couldn't even speak So I ran out of the house and into the street CHORUS: It's Valentine's day Yes it's Valentine's day All you sentimental people Please just stay the hell away I don't ask for much Just to be on my own No I don't want to buy a card Leave me alone VERSE 2: It got even worse as I walked through town My eardrums were pierced by a deafening sound It was the squeal of a girl who just got engaged This stupid Valentine's Day was making me enraged The card companies glorify this holiday Even single people get caught up in the fray But this is a battle that no one can win As Hallmark exclaims "We reeled another sucker in!" CHORUS you alone at valentine's too? I am sad
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 7:52 pm
Yami92286 Beast0 kristinarr Skad_for_Life It's Valentine's Day
(April 04, 2003)
VERSE 1:Found a conversation heart on the floor of my bedroom Took one glance and I knew that it spelled doom Ran down the stairs completely terrified In search of a safer place to hide Went to the basement and screamed at what I saw There was a cardboard Cupid hanging on the wall I was so flustered I couldn't even speak So I ran out of the house and into the street CHORUS: It's Valentine's day Yes it's Valentine's day All you sentimental people Please just stay the hell away I don't ask for much Just to be on my own No I don't want to buy a card Leave me alone VERSE 2: It got even worse as I walked through town My eardrums were pierced by a deafening sound It was the squeal of a girl who just got engaged This stupid Valentine's Day was making me enraged The card companies glorify this holiday Even single people get caught up in the fray But this is a battle that no one can win As Hallmark exclaims "We reeled another sucker in!" CHORUS you alone at valentine's too? I am sad every year. . . stare
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 8:27 pm
Beast0 Yami92286 Beast0 you alone at valentine's too? I am sad every year. . . stare
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 8:28 pm
kristinarr Beast0 Yami92286 Beast0 you alone at valentine's too? I am sad every year. . . stare I am skinny but I am on the side of this group for I love my big girls 3nodding
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