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 Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 11:51 pm
And people think I'm insane...
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:52 pm
Everyone is insane to a certain extent... it's just some learn to control their sanity more than others. I don't think that what he put is insane, I play Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas and shoot terrorists while shooting up Vegas too, it's quit fun to play after a stressful day or when I'm bored. Either that or i listen to trance music while rping on gaia...
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:42 pm
Well, here's a little bit of my insanity if anyone's interested.
Today, though overall a bad day, I had a good conversation with my German teacher. It was about religion and how it had to do with a story we just read, but eventually it got to deal with more...like my personal beliefs. And the hardest part of it was that I did it without speaking a word of English.
So, yes, I am quite proud of myself for not only being able to say what I believe in front of a whole classroom of advanced German students, but also for keeping my cool and attempting (because we both eventually gave up) to explain my personal beliefs in a different language.
Okay, I'm done with my insanity, now. You can go back to yours, if you'd like...
heart dramallama heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:11 pm
Watching Tin Man. Love the actress who plays Ascadelia (<---spelling?)
Add The Holy Roman Empire to the Kill Count--I own about half the map.
-LD
EDIT: Saw the end of Tin Man tonight. Loved it--I'm gonna buy it on DVD when it gets released.
Oh, and add Britain to the Kill Count.
~Leavaros Dapple
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:23 pm
gah, am i going to be busy online, yeesh, so now i'm a V.C. in my friends guild, a crew in this guild and crew in another guild, plus i own 2 of my own (non that are hopping with action right at the moment) and i run my own forum website... curses, i wish i could clone myself...
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:49 pm
Don't we all, Sha, don't we all.
Kill Count at this point (in order of destruction):
~~~~~~
Portugal
Moors
France
Milan
Sicily
Holy Roman Empire
England
Scotland
To-Kill List
~~~~~~~
Denmark
Hungary
Poland
Venice (*)
Egypt (*)
Russia (?)
THE POPE!!!!! (Must kill! evil twisted evil twisted evil twisted )
Seriously, that guy is way too much frickin' trouble.
*s mean after top three
?s mean perhaps after stars
Pope after all other Catholic factions are destroyed.
EDIT: I officially own over half the map.
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:37 pm
Why is it that life seems unfair? Why is it when one thing goes downhill it seems that the rest seems to follow suite? The world around me seems like it's crashing down. I just found out that my grandpa is in the hospital and isn't doing good. I'm stressed with work and school now, this week being finals... this is the last thing I need.... I want to escape this horrible reality but i cannot.
gonk
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:13 am
It only seems to be dragging you down because you let it affect you. My grandfather has been in a nursing home for nearly a year now and I've only been able to see him 3 times, but that's because I can't stomach being around those kinds of people.
It'll sound cold but you have to rationalize in times like these. Your grandfather doesn't want you to worry about him, he wants the doctors to do that. If he knew your studies were struggling because of him he'd more than likely belt you a new one. Get threw the finals then worry about the other parts of life, you're not his doctor, you can't do anything to help him, so let the people who can help, worry about him.
If you want a temporary escape, a small, comfortable room and music, loud enough to drown out your thoughts, has always been comforting to me. Allow yourself enough uninterrupted time to get bored of the room and music and go back out and hack away at life again.
On another note, a couple buddies and I played our first game of Warhammer Apocalypse, it went pretty smoothly, played 3400pts a side in under 3 hours, sadly it ended on turn 3, with them having 1 model left and me and a somewhat dented army roster. Some times I wonder if I'm just ridiculously lucky or if my friends should take up another war game. That was mean, ah well, I suppose I can't help it.
the Lion
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:35 am
I've actually done that before and it seems to work... its hard not to think about it, but i guess in the end if it's his time then he can go, i do believe he is almost 90 or so...so he's lived a long life, I would just rather he be able to die in the comfort of his own home surrounded by his family like my grandma did this year rather than in a hospital... i think that my mom and I are going to visit him tomorrow so we'll see how it goes and see actually how bad off he is...
well off to work for me now, I'll have to listen to my trance music after I get home, thanks for the support... wink
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:50 am
Had a party yesterday, and it sucked. No more than four people came. Some were tired, some were sick, some had Madrigals (Medieval dinner and concert thing).... It's freaky how many of my friends are in Chorus.
Anyway, it ended up being me and this guy friend of mine, and he had an extra ticket (to Madrigals), so we ended up going. It was lots of fun--I flirted so much that they put me in the stocks! Ha! I made a good run for it, but I let them catch me--it's kind of an honor to be stock-ed.
The guy and me ended up going back to my house and watching most of V for Vendetta. I love that movie. We ended up talking, and I almost kissed him. But...I didn't. Which is kinda interesting, considering that the night before that, I had caught up with a close friend of mine I hadn't talked to in forever for about four hours. It was bittersweet, and ended on a rather sour note, but I can't remember the last time I wished for something harder than his lips pressed against mine. *sighs* I guess it just...wasn't meant to be.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm sabotaging my relationships or if...something else is. I'll just have to keep myself in check--remember my duties, use more restraint.
Somehow, that makes me terribly sad to say.
Love and Vale,
~Leavaros Dapple
P.S. Because of the 200th post, this will now be the Leavy-Kun's Writer's Cafe! (Sheik, no?)
EDIT: Check the first post, please.
EDIT EDIT: When did Apocalypse come out? I think a friend of mine said something about that....
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:11 am
That sounds like fun and cafe adds a nice touch...
if you're talking R.E. apocalypse, it was 2004, if your talking Mel Gibson's one, i think last year or the year before...
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:55 am
He was talking about Warhammer 40k Apocalypse, the rule book was released a month or so ago... 70 bucks later... Yeah, beginning of november it came out, some armies are better suited for it than others, some get sweet tanks that never die and others get... not a hell of a lot. Maybe a few special rules but that's about it.
I just bought a Bane Blade and got to use it as I had just built it in time. That thing is a beast, killed a good chunk of my friends' armies.
It doe sound like you are sabotaging yourself there Varos, but I think for you the thrill lies in the hunt, not the capture. That's what it looks like anyway. Have your fun, don't worry too much about anything, christ you're young, I made that mistake when I was 16, now after 5 years I've still only been with one woman, and I'm still with her! So yeah, just have fun bro, leave the serious business for later on in life.
the Lion
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:45 pm
But they are my friends, not animals to chase after with dogs! I care for them. Why, then, am I doing the things that I am doing?
I hurt someone on Friday by not exercising restraint, someone I would give my life up for--my soul up for, in a heartbeat. I hurt him, and it hurts me so much more than it could him. I don't feel guilty often--I suppose I'm usually fairly innocent. But this time, every time I think about him is like an old wound getting ripped open all over again. The pain from a me I thought was dead resurfaces, and shows my true nature--and why does he, the most perfect, beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon, have to be my mirror? Why does my heart hurt with a sharp dullness when my mind wanders into memories?
...Is this the price of Love? Or Truth? What is this feeling, this soreness behind my eyes, this aching for wetness to be on my cheeks, this traitorous body of mine shaking when I'm around him? My tongue betrays me, and my hands, and my head, and my heart! What is this feeling, this so very unperfect ache? Is this the price for selfishness, the price for putting my feelings before his, that mean more to me than mine? Why can't skeletons remain buried!?! Must they dance under the moonlight? Why won't the truth of me and him fade into night forever, leaving life and light behind? Why must it be unveiled by the coming of the sun, and hurt so hard at its setting?
Truth is: I don't deserve him. Never have. Never will. (And it's not even Will!) I don't. Even his presence sets my soul to stinging with tears unfallen. At times like this, Justin, I hate my gifts. Did you know that? Did you know that I can still feel his heartbeat, even though I haven't seen him in months, or rested my head on his chest? But it's there, and in the silent night, I hear it beating like the drums of war in the distance, that hale, hearty heart of his, whispering to my spirit worse than all the spirits in this damned house. I cannot resist, but I must, I must! And for once, I cannot resist.
Do you remember my one and only fear, Justin? It is that I will be hated by someone I love. That earliest of passionate loves, that love that I thought had faded with our friendship, still lives strongly inside me. I comforted myself with the thought that I had done the right thing by ending what was to preserve what was. I regret that now, and so does he. I have hurt the one person whom I could give my whole heart to--and now, I would not be surprised if he never talks to me again. But...god, but it hurts so much!
It is realized, Justin. And I would prefer every torture devised in hell over this one devised in heaven.
Love and Vale,
~Leavaros Dapple/Andrew
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:14 pm
Gods, dearest. If only I knew what you were going through when I read that message...
I'm sorry I haven't been the greatest friend to you, my dear. I wish I wouldn't have avoided Gaia like the plague...if I'd had known that you were so torn I would have done SOMETHING! But no...
I keep telling others that I'm a terrible person. But they never listen.
If you need anything, Brother, just call me. I'll find my phone as soon as I'm done here and turn it on.
Gods I'm so sorry.
And, for the record, I didn't leave it because of you, and I hope I didn't get Maggie mad, either. I do believe I told her how nice it was to meet her, and I said "thanks" somewhere in there...but who really knows?
Anyway, yeah, call if you need me, love. I'll be here.
PS And the best part is that I know we have a 2-hr delay for tomorrow because of the icy roads...so don't worry about us talking too late! ninja smile
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