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 Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:47 am
Eh, feel free to skip it.
Sorry, double-posting... I try not to do that with my personal stuff usually...
Blah, and in three weeks will be the first birthday I've ever celebrated without my grandmother.
She was diagnosed two days or so before my birthday last year, so I guess I really didn't "celebrate" per-se, but having someone not be there for something is a lot more of a downer when you sat in a hospital watching them die for seven straight months than when they're just home laying down...
Meh, please tell me the first year is the hardest and then it gets easier.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:41 am
Rae x Rae Eh, feel free to skip it.
Sorry, double-posting... I try not to do that with my personal stuff usually...
Blah, and in three weeks will be the first birthday I've ever celebrated without my grandmother.
She was diagnosed two days or so before my birthday last year, so I guess I really didn't "celebrate" per-se, but having someone not be there for something is a lot more of a downer when you sat in a hospital watching them die for seven straight months than when they're just home laying down...
Meh, please tell me the first year is the hardest and then it gets easier. It does get easier. Stream's mom died almost 4 years ago the day before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, Stream and I almost decided to not see my family for the big Thanksgiving family get together, because we were so upset. But we were encouraged to spend some time with my family. The first year can be hard, our first Christmas without his mother was hard, but it was also only a month after her death. So, every year around Thanksgiving Stream and I get a little moody, but nothing like that first year. Our November highlight is my birthday.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:52 am
LunaInverse Rae x Rae Eh, feel free to skip it.
Sorry, double-posting... I try not to do that with my personal stuff usually...
Blah, and in three weeks will be the first birthday I've ever celebrated without my grandmother.
She was diagnosed two days or so before my birthday last year, so I guess I really didn't "celebrate" per-se, but having someone not be there for something is a lot more of a downer when you sat in a hospital watching them die for seven straight months than when they're just home laying down...
Meh, please tell me the first year is the hardest and then it gets easier. It does get easier. Stream's mom died almost 4 years ago the day before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, Stream and I almost decided to not see my family for the big Thanksgiving family get together, because we were so upset. But we were encouraged to spend some time with my family. The first year can be hard, our first Christmas without his mother was hard, but it was also only a month after her death. So, every year around Thanksgiving Stream and I get a little moody, but nothing like that first year. Our November highlight is my birthday.
I'm still not used to it. Hell, it's been six months and sometimes I still forget. I'll see a movie and think "Nana would love that!" or wonder why she hasn't called on a Tuesday because she used to come up every Tuesday so that we could go out to lunch together. Being back at school is easier since I'm so busy, but when I go home and there's no one cooking in the kitchen or watching Friends on the couch, it just hits me again.
I think it especially hit me in the last month. I had gone to California for some time to accept things and get back to life as normal, but then stuff happened and I ended up so stressed that coming home to a mostly empty house was in the back of my mind. I never really spent the time preparing that I needed to.
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad (?) to know that it doesn't stay so hard heart
You and Stream particularly helped me a lot with this kind of stuff.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:00 am
Rae x Rae I've noticed that it's started turning into less of a hurt, and more of just an empty hole.
I'm still not used to it. Hell, it's been six months and sometimes I still forget. I'll see a movie and think "Nana would love that!" or wonder why she hasn't called on a Tuesday because she used to come up every Tuesday so that we could go out to lunch together. Being back at school is easier since I'm so busy, but when I go home and there's no one cooking in the kitchen or watching Friends on the couch, it just hits me again.
I think it especially hit me in the last month. I had gone to California for some time to accept things and get back to life as normal, but then stuff happened and I ended up so stressed that coming home to a mostly empty how was just like... blah.
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad (?) to know that it doesn't stay so hard heart
You and Stream particularly helped me a lot with this kind of stuff. You're welcome. That emptiness never quite goes away, but it does fade away to a pale imitation. The only grandmother I ever knew died when I was 10, and 24 years later I still occasionally stop and think about her. But it's more fond memories rather than thinking that she's gone.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:06 am
LunaInverse Rae x Rae I've noticed that it's started turning into less of a hurt, and more of just an empty hole.
I'm still not used to it. Hell, it's been six months and sometimes I still forget. I'll see a movie and think "Nana would love that!" or wonder why she hasn't called on a Tuesday because she used to come up every Tuesday so that we could go out to lunch together. Being back at school is easier since I'm so busy, but when I go home and there's no one cooking in the kitchen or watching Friends on the couch, it just hits me again.
I think it especially hit me in the last month. I had gone to California for some time to accept things and get back to life as normal, but then stuff happened and I ended up so stressed that coming home to a mostly empty how was just like... blah.
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad (?) to know that it doesn't stay so hard heart
You and Stream particularly helped me a lot with this kind of stuff. You're welcome. That emptiness never quite goes away, but it does fade away to a pale imitation. The only grandmother I ever knew died when I was 10, and 24 years later I still occasionally stop and think about her. But it's more fond memories rather than thinking that she's gone.
When I think about my grandmother my mind immediately goes to the last time I saw her when she could barely move and was trying to say "I love you" through the pain.
I know I will sooner or later, but right now it's just hard to try to deal with any memories at all, because it's the freshest ones that are showing up, not the happiest.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:17 am
Rae x Rae LunaInverse Rae x Rae I've noticed that it's started turning into less of a hurt, and more of just an empty hole.
I'm still not used to it. Hell, it's been six months and sometimes I still forget. I'll see a movie and think "Nana would love that!" or wonder why she hasn't called on a Tuesday because she used to come up every Tuesday so that we could go out to lunch together. Being back at school is easier since I'm so busy, but when I go home and there's no one cooking in the kitchen or watching Friends on the couch, it just hits me again.
I think it especially hit me in the last month. I had gone to California for some time to accept things and get back to life as normal, but then stuff happened and I ended up so stressed that coming home to a mostly empty how was just like... blah.
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad (?) to know that it doesn't stay so hard heart
You and Stream particularly helped me a lot with this kind of stuff. You're welcome. That emptiness never quite goes away, but it does fade away to a pale imitation. The only grandmother I ever knew died when I was 10, and 24 years later I still occasionally stop and think about her. But it's more fond memories rather than thinking that she's gone.
When I think about my grandmother my mind immediately goes to the last time I saw her when she could barely move and was trying to say "I love you" through the pain.
I know I will sooner or later, but right now it's just hard to try to deal with any memories at all, because it's the freshest ones that are showing up, not the happiest. That does take time. Stream's mom died from cancer, and by the end she was in so much pain and on so many pain-killing drugs we don't know if she knew we were even there. But now we remember the good times more than the bad. It just takes some time. *snugs*
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:31 am
LunaInverse Rae x Rae LunaInverse Rae x Rae I've noticed that it's started turning into less of a hurt, and more of just an empty hole.
I'm still not used to it. Hell, it's been six months and sometimes I still forget. I'll see a movie and think "Nana would love that!" or wonder why she hasn't called on a Tuesday because she used to come up every Tuesday so that we could go out to lunch together. Being back at school is easier since I'm so busy, but when I go home and there's no one cooking in the kitchen or watching Friends on the couch, it just hits me again.
I think it especially hit me in the last month. I had gone to California for some time to accept things and get back to life as normal, but then stuff happened and I ended up so stressed that coming home to a mostly empty how was just like... blah.
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad (?) to know that it doesn't stay so hard heart
You and Stream particularly helped me a lot with this kind of stuff. You're welcome. That emptiness never quite goes away, but it does fade away to a pale imitation. The only grandmother I ever knew died when I was 10, and 24 years later I still occasionally stop and think about her. But it's more fond memories rather than thinking that she's gone.
When I think about my grandmother my mind immediately goes to the last time I saw her when she could barely move and was trying to say "I love you" through the pain.
I know I will sooner or later, but right now it's just hard to try to deal with any memories at all, because it's the freshest ones that are showing up, not the happiest. That does take time. Stream's mom died from cancer, and by the end she was in so much pain and on so many pain-killing drugs we don't know if she knew we were even there. But now we remember the good times more than the bad. It just takes some time. *snugs*
I do feel better about, a bit. I'm still worried because of how high mine and my mother's chances of developing cancer are too. It's a scary though.
I don't want to die like that. sad
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:03 am
I'm in ur AG postin frum mah nu mac. surprised
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:05 am
LunaInverse teh CB Should it really be called a 'fanfic' if they aren't fans of stream? XD JUS' SAYIN'. CLASSES CLASSES CLASSES. Are you enjoying you classes so far? I always liked the first week of school, new classes and all that.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:17 am
Oh, my goodness. I just saw the best thing.
I was on the Connecticon forums (one of the local cons), and they were discussing possible guests for next year. Since Connecticon is more than anime (it has a lot of sci-fi, gaming, fantasy elements), someone suggested that we get some behind the scenes people who work movie magic.
And they suggested the freaking Mythbusters. I LOVE the Mythbusters. I want to have Tori and Grant's love children.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:23 am
I keep singing songs from Aladdin.
I haven't seen Aladdin since I was about 10, and I have no idea why I'm singing songs.
Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford... That's everything!
... gonk I've been driven so far as to download the above song. Damn you, Disney!
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:25 am
Chrysant I keep singing songs from Aladdin. I haven't seen Aladdin since I was about 10, and I have no idea why I'm singing songs. Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford... That's everything! ... gonk I've been driven so far as to download the above song. Damn you, Disney! Disney is an evil empire, and we cannot win against it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:35 am
LunaInverse Chrysant I keep singing songs from Aladdin. I haven't seen Aladdin since I was about 10, and I have no idea why I'm singing songs. Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford... That's everything! ... gonk I've been driven so far as to download the above song. Damn you, Disney! Disney is an evil empire, and we cannot win against it. But... but.. Me being 10 was 10 years ago. Those sneaky swines.
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:37 am
Chrysant LunaInverse Chrysant I keep singing songs from Aladdin. I haven't seen Aladdin since I was about 10, and I have no idea why I'm singing songs. Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford... That's everything! ... gonk I've been driven so far as to download the above song. Damn you, Disney! Disney is an evil empire, and we cannot win against it. But... but.. Me being 10 was 10 years ago. Those sneaky swines. I'm 34 and still catch myself singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme song... xd
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:40 am
LunaInverse Chrysant LunaInverse Chrysant I keep singing songs from Aladdin. I haven't seen Aladdin since I was about 10, and I have no idea why I'm singing songs. Gotta keep, one jump ahead of the breadline. One swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford... That's everything! ... gonk I've been driven so far as to download the above song. Damn you, Disney! Disney is an evil empire, and we cannot win against it. But... but.. Me being 10 was 10 years ago. Those sneaky swines. I'm 34 and still catch myself singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme song... xd /Never had that. You win. ;p How's things been lately around these parts?
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Reply
