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 Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:36 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:04 am
Dude, I could totally summarize Hero for you... and a few other Chinese movies at the same time.
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:45 am
Patashu Howsabout a summary of Starcraft's plot? EDIT: And The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, if you haven't done that yet. *steps up to the plate* This'll be a walk in the park! There is a man named Arther Dent (sp?) Earth blows up Some crazy things happen *censored* Then the depressed robot *censored* *censored* -then with the whipped cream- *censored* *censored* Then a new Earth is made and everyone is happy! (except for the robot, Marvin) Unless of course you watched the 1770's version, which was in the year of ratification of the Constitution. That is a whole other story.
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:34 pm
*gasp* eek I hope you realize that Ynqwie will burn your face off...or something to that effect for taking over his job...
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 2:07 pm
Naw, he'll either approve or correct her.
Or take the first shot at her.
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 5:32 pm
Well he seemed a bit backed up. Everyone could use help from time to time. Unless of course you plan to bury a body in your backyard. THat requires a lot of secrecy. It's best your neihbors don't know. *shifty eyes*
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 8:33 pm
Well, it was thoughtful.
Speaking of backed up, I need to do a comic of his summary of IA's history. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 8:56 pm
dirtyrottencheater Well he seemed a bit backed up. Everyone could use help from time to time. Unless of course you plan to bury a body in your backyard. THat requires a lot of secrecy. It's best your neihbors don't know. *shifty eyes* Thoughtful, but that's okay. My work requires a bit of finesse. I'll take a look at these and see which ones I feel like doing. Here's a bit for you: HERO
A Touching tale of people getting stabbed in the stomach
GAURDS: EMPEROR, THERE IS THIS DUDE HERE TO SEE YOU
EMPEROR: EXCELLENT HE KILLED ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT I DON'T LIKE
JET LI: HERE IS THE STORY OF HOW I KILLED THEM, IT IS VERY COLORFUL. YOU SHIRT IS RED!
EMERPOR: FANTASTIC! BUT I AM TOTALLY ON TO YOU THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED
JET LI: YA, YOU GOT ME. HERE IS A SLIGHTLY ALTERED VERSION. (YOUR SHIRT IS BLUE)
EMPEREOR: HERE IS WHAT I THINK HAPPENED! I LIKE GREEN SO IT IS ALL GREEN THIS TIME. (YOU SHIRT IS GREEN)
JET LI: HA HA, YOU ARE DECIEVED, HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED FOR SERIOUS THIS TIME. YOUR SHIRT IS WHITE!
JET LI: GOOD THING CHINA IS SO AWESOME, BECASUE I TOTALY AM NOT GOING TO KILL YOU
EMERPOR: JET LI YOU ARE ONE AMAZING DUDE, SERIOUSLY MAN.
AMAZING. JET LI: ARROW'D
FINIS U__U
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 9:14 pm
Oh, also: EVERY CHINESE ARTHOUSE WIREFIGHTING MOVIE EVER DONE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER
also known as: Crouching Hero, Hidden House of Flying Daggers
DIRECTOR(PROBABLY ANG LEE): ********, ISN'T THIS WIRE FIGHTING SWEET? I WILL GIVE YUO ABOUT FORTY SECONDS OF IT AT THE START OF EVERY MOVIE SO YOU WILL SIT THROUGH ALL THE STUPID DIALOGUE
WOMAN(USUALLY ZHANG ZIYI): I AM AS BEAUTIFUL AS I AM DEADLY ALSO I HAVE SOME KIND OF SECRET OR DISABILITY AND AM POSSIBLY EVIL BUT NOT REALLY AND I HAVE SOME KIND OF INTERNAL CONFLICT
MAN (MOST LIKELY CHOW YUN FAT): I AM EITHER THE FATHER/LOVER/BROTHER OF THE WOMAN OR I WILL RUN INTO A CRAZY SERIES OF EVENTS TANGLING THE FATES OF MYSELF AND THE WOMAN TOGETHER
THE PLOT: SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY IS AFOOT!
ANG LEE: I HAD BETTER THROW IN SOME WIRE FIGHTING SO THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T GET BORED
ANG LEE: SOME ASIAN TITTIES WOULDN'T HURT EITHER I BET
THE PLOT: LOVE TRIANGLE OF SORTS!
WOMAN OR MAN: SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE AND SOMEONE WILL BE TORN UP ABOUT IT!
ANG LEE: OKAY SO I AM PUTTING SOME SERIOUS IMAGERY s**t IN HERE LIKE FRESH BLOOD ON NEWFALLEN SNOW OR LOTUS PETALS FALLING INTO A STILL RIVER YEAH THAT IS AWESOME I AM SO AWESOME
AN OLD WOMAN WITH SOME KIND OF POISON OR SOMETHING: I AM PROBABLY GOING TO POISON SOMEONE I GUESS I DONT REALLY KNOW OKAY I GUESS ILL JUST LEAVE NOW
THE GOVERNMENT: I AM MEDDLING, SOMEHOW
THE ENDING: USUALLY KIND OF NOT HAPPY!
Fin.
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:58 pm
Thank you oh great and powerful Yngwie.
And Wonderful Reko.
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:22 am
Yngwie is kind of awesome.
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:45 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:08 pm
Yngwie THE GOVERNMENT: I AM MEDDLING, SOMEHOW
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:11 pm
At least, all of the good ones, Bunny.
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:13 pm
Naaah. xd
I'm Fantasy myself-- it's really hard to get me into SciFi. Although, my friend V is getting me into Dark Angel. That one is greatly amusing and well done.
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