Welcome to Gaia! ::

I don’t have a history
My past is some old mystery
I don’t know what happened before
Do I really care anymore?
Can’t I be someone other than me?
Someone you haven’t made me out to be
You’ve called me b***h, called me whore
I got my gun and I’m knocking at your door
And I put my gun up to my chest
One shot – its over – I can get some rest

Dropping blood… stains the walls…
Is it mine…?
Can it tell me all that I wanna know?
Can it show me where I need to go?

Yeah, you stare at me in disbelief
Call 911 and wish for relief
I laugh, choke, and spit blood from my throat
Letting it stain my treasured trenchcoat
Each and everyday is too much for me
So I’ll cry, I’ll die, isn’t this what you wanted to see?
Stop your shrieks, this is what you told me to do
It’s not suicide when the murderer’s you
The pain is building behind my eyes
Will it take me off to Paradise?
Sirens scream and flashing lights
Interrupt the silence of the night
I’ll go and never return
Leaving you with a lesson unlearned
And I’ll sing:

Dropping blood… stains the walls…
Is it mine…?
Can it tell me all that I wanna know?
Can it show me where I need to go?

I walk down Heaven’s way
Just like I did back in the day
That was before I knew
How much of me was in you
You swear you hate my soul
Saying I was cold – saying I was coal
Each day and all day
I go down the path but I don’t pray
God kicked me out of Heaven and said
I’d wake up in a hospital bed
I was singing:

Dropping blood… stains the walls…
Is it mine…?
Can it tell me what I want to know?
Can it tell me where I need to go?

I wake up and I see you there
Sleeping without a care
Wouldn’t you love to know what I do?
Even if you hate me, I’ll always love you
So cold, your lips on mine
So tired, wasting my time
Blood stains my fingertips now
Makes me wonder why and how
I remember being so sad
Shooting the gun that my father had
Don’t you see? Everything in me is dead
Yet somehow, my blood runs red
Like yours…?
Am I alive…?
Why didn’t I die…?
I should be dead
I shot me dead
Why aren’t I dead…?
Guess it’s ‘cause my blood runs red

I did this one yesterday... I hope you like it. I wrote it for my friends Kathleen and my crush/ bff Mary, the lights in my world.

Final Flight

In the dark
I feel no light
In the pain
my final flight

I slam the door
to my past
the happiness
would never last

no one caring
what am I?
looking up
I start to cry

hearts broken
tears shead
the loneliness
and feeling dread

In the dark
their is no light
this will be
my final flight

I won't give up
I won't give in
when my one path end
a new begin

I shield my eyes
fall to your grace
come out of dark
to see your face

the tears of joy
are falling now
I'll go back in
the dark somehow

In the dark
I'll make the light
I now begin
a new final flight

In my own dark
you'll be my light
we'll be together
in our final flight.

heart Kitty

Here is my attempt at a Shakespearean sonnet, about my ex-girlfriend, called "Opium Eyes":

She doesn't get sleep and yet sleeps far too much
Her large eyes all swollen from holding back tears
Her arms hugged around her, afraid to be touched
Afraid to be seen. Even worse, to be dear
To someone like me who might love her to death
Put her in a grave, gently wipe off the tears
Of dignity from her eyes, like crystal meth
Amphetamines making illusions appear.
I breathe in her mouth. Violet opium clouds
Erupt from her nostrils and soak into mine
Weaving a soft pale hallucinate shroud
A prenatal ribbon, a deathly life line.
I wrap it around her white, shivering form
And kiss her cold cheek, my lips making her warm.

heart Entropi heart

My makeup routine:
Smearing frosting on my face
With a spatula!

heart Entropi heart

The moon tonight so full and low
Is tinted crimson red
For blood will soiled hands bestow
On roads lie just ahead
Soft winds do echo solemn words
Unto an empty heart
And listen no, the mocking birds
Too soon will life depart
Thy footsteps echoing down the hall
Bring forth an unkind scent
While blood is trickling down the wall
A purpose goes unbent
The odor's growing evermore
Said best to run and hide
Daylight tomorrow will be sore
As with the crimson tide

I'll put all the poems I have available to me now here...not all are good, and some are downright crappy, just to warn you.

(These are just about in chronological order, from my earliest to my latest.)


Sweetheart


In my darkest corner, sweetheart,
I lie in wait for you.
A shadowed doubt grates through the windows
and I lie in wait for you.

In my darkest times, sweetheart,
I call out your name.
A child waits and you hide your eyes,
and I call out your name.

With my haunted smile, sweetheart,
I make your dreams come true.
I shed my tears on your behalf,
and I make your dreams come true.

By your shaded side, sweetheart,
I sell my soul for you.
You take my hand to make us one,
and I sell my soul for you.

With a silken flower, sweetheart,
I promise you the world.
You see the flower and not the hand,
and I promise you the world.

Through my gasping body, sweetheart,
I take away your shame.
I shed blood, red with regret,
and I take away your shame.



The Ocean


Silent lips of foam and sand
rise to meet my reaching hand.
A child's eyes replace my own,
and for this moment I condone
every anniversary that has passed,
when I came to the ocean and only met glass.
You did not let me seek or see
the very thing that made me be.
My tears, as salty, would not do,
for they were what nearly killed you.
And with your cane pushed in the sand,
and with your wrinkled, crippled hand,
You go to meet what had been waiting,
touching, drinking, finally sating.
And with a smile that until now was lost,
you fully acknowledge what happiness costs.
Your eyes light up, you skin darkens to grey.
You look at me, and you don't know what to say.
I nod through my tears that came from the sea,
for all things that came, must go back to thee.


Lily Eyes


I'll sing to you of summer skies,
of faraway lands and lily eyes.
I'll sing to you a rouge-red song
of smiling kisses in the dawn.

I'll sing to you of fairy tales
of hearts of gold and black-laced veils.
I'll sing to you of pinpricked dreams
and of days where love reigned supreme.

I'll sing to you of times and trials
of wicked thoughts and blood-red vials.
I'll sing to you of stains and shame,
of lust and lies and beasts untamed.

I'll sing to you of tales untold
of a weeping tree and a world gone cold.
I'll sing to you of beads and breath
and I'll sing to you of perpetual death.


Plea

Do you know of whom I speak?
Her hands brush past the oak's cries.
Her feet crown the snow,
creating everlasting imprints soon to be covered
by rain.
Her broken eye understands;
her cracked lips whisper softly.
And under the covered sun's diligent desires
she flourishes,
melting into the petals,
becoming one.

And she doesn't know
of the kings and scholars
who walked the path
towards confusion.
She doesn't know
of the penniless musicians
who lived for the path,
everyday.
She doesn't know
of the cold-hearted civilians
who tread on the blanket snow
and cried.

She knows only of the way
air moves through the pine needles,
and how the moon seems more powerful at dusk.
How the wolf's howl seems more of a plea,
especially when her heart chills at the sound.


Street Singer

Lonely hope on an open road,
headlights shining occasionally,
momentarily,
fleeting at the sight of rags.
Dressed in her best,
flirting with prophecies,
commencing her concert
with one hour to go,
she opens her mouth
and silences their wonder.
The boulevard cafe - her Broadway stage.
Down by a fourth,
up in the skies,
waiting for the moment,
the beat.
A quarter left,
a dime to go,
an angel's visit
soon cut short.
Time is up as
fleeting fame hides
his shamed hand.
He had touched
the street singer.
The smiling, soulful,
dead girl
in the middle of the road.



I left out two...one because I can't find it right now, the other because it was made while I was high on pencil lead and singing 'Feelin' Groovey'. To put it bluntly, it was horrible. ^_^

Thank you! *blows kiss*

heart Ntropi heart