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 Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:55 pm
Mm...just don't axe-murder me.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 4:45 pm
Ah it appears that I have some free time. So, I think I'll read the rest of chapter eight now.
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:56 am
KirbyVictorious Okay, look. HEre's a final explanation of my behavior. NO ARGUMENTS> For all intents and purposes, the world is ending after the next chapter. MAybe nothing so dramatic...well, you'll see. So right now I'm building up on their background, because it's very very important that you get to know them before all this bad stuff happens. I wanted you to see several things. --Ametris is supposed to be a world of peace, but it doesn't always work like that. --Kamile and Everan are orphans, rather unpopular, and trying their best just to get food for another day. --Kamile and Everan mean the world to each other, and have been together their entire lives. --Kamile's cheerful and upbeat; Everan's cold and scrutinizing. And yet, they have their moments of exactly the opposite. --Pilori's whole...being there-ness. I don't like her much, but she's semi-important. --Marli's being-from-another-country thing. As I will explain once I update it, that shouldn't be possible. She is the key element here. All the mystery right now is focused on her--where she came from, and why. --Birthday presents are also rather important. Three out of six of them will end up saving their lives. So everything I do, every tiny detail I add, is so you can get to know them and their world, the present situation. It must be fully understood before I smash it to pieces, savvy? Ohhh, you won't believe how important that is. Again, no arguments. Just read, soak in, and reply with NO CONTROVERSY. Thankuu~. I think I can respect that. In all honestly, I would rather have that all elaborated upon in one chapter, but you wouldn't and I suppose there's nothing I can do about that. -shrugs- So no criticisms here. If its not to much to ask, however, I would appreciate it if you gave this part a new name. Just to make everything neat and orderly, and give the reader the sense of a new section in the book.
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:06 pm
.....it doesn't have a new name. Dude, I will separate it into three books in due time, but the book isn't even 1/8 over yet. Book 2: Come a Light (temporary title) starts on chapter......sixteen maybe. Mm, dunno. LEt me think.
chapter nine...uh-huh
10...hmm.
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
Yup! ten more chapters to go. WHOO!
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:25 pm
KirbyVictorious .....it doesn't have a new name. Dude, I will separate it into three books in due time, but the book isn't even 1/8 over yet. Book 2: Come a Light (temporary title) starts on chapter......sixteen maybe. Mm, dunno. LEt me think. chapter nine...uh-huh 10...hmm. 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Yup! ten more chapters to go. WHOO! kirby I have the utmost respect for all persons who even dream of undertaking such a laberous career as writing. So I hope you'll forgive my insolence when I tell you: KIRBY GO MAKE HIM SEEM DEAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!*. I may not possess a keen knowledge of grammar, and at times it can affect my descriptions and even my flow, but by gawd I will always pay heed to drama! And if you could, I would appreciate it if you changed the chapter around to make the sorceress seem a bit colder. Other than a few other minor details that you might want to change to add to the dramatic effect of the scene, it was perfect. Finally kirby's story stops dragging it's feet! *!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:05 pm
...What do you want me to do? And how?
Make Everan...seem...more...dead? Well, he's not around, what more do you want? I don't think the book is quite ready to see his cold dead body on the ground with a gaping hole in it thank you! Trust me, that is NOT a good way to go. Why? Kamile would freaking snap.
Colder? Why? How? Where? What?
...I resent the dragging its feet comment. stare It was fine.
Perfect is such a lovely word. 4laugh
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:50 pm
KirbyVictorious ...What do you want me to do? And how? Make Everan...seem...more...dead? Well, he's not around, what more do you want? I don't think the book is quite ready to see his cold dead body on the ground with a gaping hole in it thank you! Trust me, that is NOT a good way to go. Why? Kamile would freaking snap. Colder? Why? How? Where? What? ...I resent the dragging its feet comment. stare It was fine. Perfect is such a lovely word. 4laugh There's no such thing as perfect, it is a perpectually raising ladder always one rung ahead of the best of the climbers. Im sorry I just dont believe that he's dead, and not in a good way either. You haven't given me enough reason to doubt his death. I suppose it will have to do though. If you dont mind I would like to ask you again, what type of book is this exactly?
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:30 am
.......................a book? a long book? A children's book?
F no on the last one.
I'd say it's sci-fi/fantasy. Mostly the latter, but the former comes in after a while.
What if I don't WANT you to believe he's really dead? huh?
Believe me, I can't make it any different, Nova. It has to be this way. there are specifics you don't understand. ninja
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 11:43 am
KirbyVictorious .......................a book? a long book? A children's book?F no on the last one. I'd say it's sci-fi/fantasy. Mostly the latter, but the former comes in after a while. What if I don't WANT you to believe he's really dead? huh? Believe me, I can't make it any different, Nova. It has to be this way. there are specifics you don't understand. ninja I suppose I would ask you to emphasize that fact in a more subtle way then. -shrugs- It's not important though. the scene did its job and thats all I care about at the moment.
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 4:58 pm
o.o
I'm going to stay out of this one.
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 5:33 pm
Oh please don't Reese, I need help.
PLease explain to him that this was the only way I could pull it off!
...oh wait you don't know everything do you?
...well you know more than him.
Dude, for once could you ELABORATE instead of being so cryptic? I don't understand what you want from me!
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 5:54 pm
Isn't it obvious, Kirby? He wants Everan to be more dead. Apparently he isn't dead enough. He must be only MOSTLY dead. Nova just wants him ALL dead. rolleyes (Oh, but I do know a key point that is mucho important during this... disagreement. ninja )
Anyway... I'm feeling so happy joyful this weekend, so someone to yell at sounds great to me.
Dude, dead is dead. Just 'cause she didn't blow him to smithereens doesn't mean she didn't kill him. Dying isn't always OH-EM-GEE-I'M-SCARRED-FOR-LIFE dramatical. You want over-the-top drama, go see a play, for goodness's sake. stare
And evil murderer people aren't always over-the-top cold, either. How cliche. rolleyes
And emphasize it how? THEY'RE BLINKIN' ELVES! THEY BLINKIN' DO MAGIC! THERE ARE BLINKIN' DWARVES AND MERPEOPLE! HOW MUCH MORE SCI-FI/FANTASY CAN YOU GET? scream
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:14 pm
(I bet you do, and if it's the one I'm thinking of I have a perfectly good explanation...in ten chapters.... sweatdrop )
Okay, first we'll work on Tyrranen.
She is human. Mortal. Meaning she has feelings. She isn't completely evil because that's impossible and anyway she's weird. So even though she kills small children for no reason, she doesn't have to be a cruel sadistic torturer. We'll leave that to Azaka.
Now for Everan.
He's dead. Yes. No, really. I have many reasons for this one, but only one that you'd understand right now. It's got to do with Kamile; if Everan's just gone she can properly avenge him because she can delude herself that he isn't really dead. But if he was legitimately dead-seeming, as in lying-on-the-ground-with-wide-glassy-eyes-and-a-huge-hole-in-his-chest, which would have happened if he'd stayed for like, five more seconds, then kamile would effing snap. more so than usual. Not like, IAMGOINGTOSOF***INGKILLYOUYOUHAVETENSECONDSTOLIVE! Kind of snap, but more like...braindead snap. She wouldn't be able to effing move and that would be the end of my story.
Yes. Now we understand. Yes you do. Argue and I kill you so okay now! What do you guys think will happen in chapter nine? I already have a bet that Kamile's gonna die. And after all that you don't doubt it huh?
Oh, and the sci-fi bit? Space/time continuum, black holes, and temporal rents. HA! I CONFUSED YOU DIDN'T I? Anyway, watch out for those they can be very tricky you know.
Nova, next time you quote a huge post like this one ^ please specify which point you're arguing against huh? It's confusing!
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 4:45 pm
KirbyVictorious Oh please don't Reese, I need help. PLease explain to him that this was the only way I could pull it off! ...oh wait you don't know everything do you? ...well you know more than him. Dude, for once could you ELABORATE instead of being so cryptic? I don't understand what you want from me! I already know the synopsis of whats going to happen next. And the scene does its job so I really shouldnt complain- your right. carry on. ^_^ I'll be looking for chapter 10.
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 4:51 pm
Reese_Roper Isn't it obvious, Kirby? He wants Everan to be more dead. Apparently he isn't dead enough. He must be only MOSTLY dead. Nova just wants him ALL dead. rolleyes (Oh, but I do know a key point that is mucho important during this... disagreement. ninja ) Anyway... I'm feeling so happy joyful this weekend, so someone to yell at sounds great to me. Dude, dead is dead. Just 'cause she didn't blow him to smithereens doesn't mean she didn't kill him. Dying isn't always OH-EM-GEE-I'M-SCARRED-FOR-LIFE dramatical. You want over-the-top drama, go see a play, for goodness's sake. stare And evil murderer people aren't always over-the-top cold, either. How cliche. rolleyes And emphasize it how? THEY'RE BLINKIN' ELVES! THEY BLINKIN' DO MAGIC! THERE ARE BLINKIN' DWARVES AND MERPEOPLE! HOW MUCH MORE SCI-FI/FANTASY CAN YOU GET? scream In the context of a fantasy novel, where magic can do anything it wants to, he only appeared to poof away. That was what I was griping about. The witch (sorry she sounds more like a witch than a scorceress.-shrug-)needed to elaborate more upon the fact that he died ( UNLESS you don't actually want him to be dead in which case I would again suggest that you hint at his being alive in a more subtle way.) Well, either that or you needed to do something to the effect of making him seem more dead ( blood, tears, fear, him gasping on the floor before he collapses into a dark voide of nothingness infront of kamile, etc.) ( just my suggestion though -shrugs again-)
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