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 Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 7:22 pm
Quickly, Muraki turned his face away, wiping the tears from his eyes. "It... it wasn't you..." the doctor whispered, his heart actually aching at seeing those amethyst eyes so sad.
"Please, Tsuzuki-san... I... There is so much I don't remember... doing this hurts..." Kazutaka whispered, taking a few breaths as he tried to calm his racing heart. "It's not you, please... it's... I fear I would have done this if I had kissed anyone really... I'm... I'm not right, not normal, at the moment. Please," his grey gaze focused on the shinigami. "Please, tell me you can understand that? This is not your fault..."
Even though TECHNICALLY it kind of was... since it had been Touda's flames which had started the chain reaction for Muraki's lost memories.
But then again, that wasn't exactly something the 'good' doctor knew...
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 7:51 pm
"Not...my fault?" the idea confused him for a moment, but he recovered quickly.
"Ok...ok. It's ok." he was trying to comfort Muraki. It never dawned on him how drastic a reversal this was. It had always been Muraki making the moves, telling Tsuzuki it was ok, comforting him, even if it was done in a very twisted way.
"I'll help you...I'll do my best...I promise." he gave his word, heartbroken by the sight the doctor presented before him.
"I don't want to see you hurt this way..."
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:22 pm
'Then don't kiss me.' was Kazutaka's first thought.
But the shinigami had seemed so very sincere.
"I don't understand, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki spoke, finally able to regain his composure. "If I was such a monster to you, why love me? That... that was no ordinary kiss, after all."
None of it made sense!
At least not to the doctor... not to a man who looked at the world and demanded a sort of order to it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:28 pm
"I know I don't make much sense, do I?" he laughed it off. Silly was always his way out of tough situations. The shinigami was beaming now, a faint blush on his cheeks.
Then all of a sudden he was all seriousness again.
"Yeah...I know I'm a weird one. Just...believe me, I have good reasons."
Bullshit, but convenient bullshit. He had reasons, yes, but none of them good, per se.
He only wanted something to soothe his soul, and he felt this was the way to get it. At least that was what his subconscious thought.
In his mind, he really felt love for the doctor, and a slight sense of dominance in this situation.
"And of course it was no ordinary kiss...I'm no ordinary man." he gave the most charming wink imaginable.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:38 pm
'If you can really be called a man...' the doctor though to himself.
After all, most men couldn't exactly regenerate...
"Look, Tsuzuki-san. I do appreciate the gesture." 'I think...' he mentally added. "But like I said, I'm engaged. Besides... it's been quite a while since I was with another man."
Of course Kazutaka didn't know if he had been during his lost memories... but the last man he had slept with was Oriya and that had been a few years ago certainly.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:03 pm
"Hey hey...I get it. I'll back off." he held up his hands in a retreating gesture.
"But I'm still here for you, even if it's just as something to help with your work..."
Tsuzuki was far too good at giving up on his own desires, always hopeful that things would turn in his favor despite constantly martyring himself for the sake of others.
It didn't help the ache he felt at the polite rejection, though.
Had Muraki known this in the past, it would have been the perfect trap for the shinigami. If the doctor had had his memories and been using this as a ruse, he would have Tsuzuki right where he wanted him, and then some.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:14 pm
"Arigatou gozaimasu, Tsuzuki-san." Kazutaka replied with a soft smile. "It is good to know that you are at least here... especially since you apparently remember more about myself than I."
Sighing, Muraki leaned back against the chair, closing his grey gaze.
"I'll be glad when the train arrives in Kyoto... I'm in desperate need of an aspirin." he joked.
Well, kind of joked... his head as pounding furiously.
Though it wasn't really Tsuzuki's fault.
He had been trying too hard to remember... and the bathroom coupled with the shinigami's projected feelings had taken their toll.
Luckily for Tsuzuki... Muraki really did have amnesia.
Least ways, the shinigami would have been in too deep by now.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:30 pm
"I made a promise, Muraki-san. I will be here as long as you will have me."
Tsuzuki was far too trusting and kindhearted. It never even crossed his ond that these promises and commitments he was making might get him into trouble at some point.
What if Muraki regained his memory? Then what? Tsuzuki would be, as the modern kids say it, screwed.
"Aspirin?" he said when the doctor commented on it. He dug around in his coat pockets for a few seconds, then pulled out a couple of bottles of medicine.
"I always make sure to carry medicine with me. Even shinigami get headaches sometimes, especially when we drink too much."
Holding out his hands, he offered the doctor his choice of many pain killers, including aspirin, tylenol, vicodin, ibuprofen, migraine-mix powders, toradol, and demerol.
One might wonder why a shinigami had so many hard pain killers on him, but the fact was, sometimes they did indeed sustain injuries that required the hard stuff.
Muraki had once given Tsuzuki such an injury, but Tsuzuki didn't even think about that right now.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:15 pm
Shock was an understatement.
"Tsuzuki-san, surely a mere headache doesn't call for things such as vicodin or demerol." Muraki spoke, taking the bottle of aspirin.
It probably wouldn't work, but Kazutaka had never been a fan of strong medicines.
At least, he didn't think he was... was he?
Well, that line of thought would certainly get confusing. He only he'd known how much trial he had put his own body through by making it immune to many poisons...
Pulling a bottle of water out of his black bag, Kazutaka quickly swallowed a couple of aspirin, drinking about a third of the water, before replacing the lid and stuffing it back into his bag.
"Arigatou." the doctor replied, closing his eyes again and trying to block out the sounds and sights of the train.
But not of the conversation.
"You killed yourself in life, Tsuzuki-san... it is hardly wise for any physician to prescribe such strong painkillers for someone with your past experiences."
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:26 pm
Laughing, Tsuzuki waved a hand as if it were nothing.
"Ah...that. Sorry, it's just part of what they hand out to shinigami who work at my level. We do heal, but sometimes we sustain wounds that require having the edge taken off for a short while. Why...I've had holes blown through my chest the size of bowling balls...and once my whole spine was ripped out! It helps with the coping, and it isn't like I could kill myself with pills. That's just silly..." he babbled as if the things he were saying were common conversation.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:30 pm
Strangely, Muraki laughed softly at that. "I suppose you can't... since you're already dead, hmm?"
Grey eyes open, fixing on the shinigami for a long moment.
"What's it like, Tsuzuki-san? Being dead, I mean? What did dying feel like?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:46 pm
It took Tsuzuki a few moments to think of how to respond to the question. For all the years he had been a shinigami, nobody had ever asked him that.
He clasped his hands together and rested his chin on them, thinking deeply.
"Well...death...was frightening. I know that must sound odd coming from someone who had chased it for so long, but once I caught it...it was a scary thing."
Purple eyes showed a calm remembrance, something very distant yet somehow close.
"When I died...it was the strangest sensation. My whole body felt as if electricity were running through it, and I had the sensation of being drowned in scalding hot and freezing cold water at the same time. It was fairly fast though...after the first pains of dying, it became cold and quiet...just blackness...and eventually everything ceased to be. After that, I woke up in Meifu and began my training for my job in the other world."
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:55 pm
"And what sort of training did you have? Surely I doubt they handed you a manual and said, 'Konnichiwa. You're dead. Now go reap souls.' after all."
Muraki found that he sincerely wanted to know what the other side was like.
He had so many questions for Tsuzuki... questions that he wanted answers to.
Apparently though, knowing that death truly did hurt until you ceased to be alive, was not quite a comfort.
But the knowledge of something after death, proved to be a topic that the doctor simply couldn't pass up the chance to learn about.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:23 pm
"The training was super easy, once I got used to the fact that I was dead, yet still alive, in a sense. I had to be instructed on how to use my spiritual powers, and I had to gain favor with a shikigami. We summon shikigami for extreme situations only. I actually control twelve! That's a record for all time. They loved me in GenSouKai though. I actually had a hard time convincing some shiki that I couldn't be their master." he was prattling on as if there were a water cooler beside them and they had been working together for decades. Then it dawned o him about how he couldn't summon his shikigami right now. That was sad to think about. He took comfort in knowing that Suzaku or Byakko were around for him when he needed. They were friends as well as servants to him.
"It really isn't so bad. Not really..." he picked up, covering his pause. He wasn't supposed to talk about his shikigami, especially not right now when he was so vulnerable without them.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:36 pm
One word stuck out from the rest however, though if Kazutaka had known that Tsuzuki needed to keep the information of said word a secret for now... he probably would never have asked.
"Shikigami?" Muraki ventured to say, grey eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Are we talking about gods on par with Seiryuu and Byakko or smaller deities? Not only that, but the fact that you possess spiritual powers is amazing..." leaning slightly to one side, Muraki put his chin in an upturned palm as he studied the shinigami. "Are your powers like those of a simple priest or perhaps an onmyouji?"
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