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 Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:33 pm
"These are original copies. If you lose them or damage them, I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO HANG YOU FROM THE CEILING BY YOUR TOE NAILS UNTIL YOUR EYEBALLS OOZE OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS."
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Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 6:02 pm
I am the designated copier/printer slave of the entire band program since I am Mr. Hartmetz's Teacher Assistant. Keep that in mind. I also made a hundred (I kid you not) copies yesterday of a song we are playing.
Hartmetz: *walks right past me on my way out the door* MARY. MARY. MARY. MARY.
Me: *runs back inside* WHAT. YES. HARTMETZ. WHAT.
Hartmetz: Help me hand out Concord.
Me: Can I go to the bathroom? That's kind of why I left the room in the first place...
Hartmetz: :l Are you back yet?
Me: What?
Hartmetz: Are you back yet?
Me: No. I'm sorry I haven't developed teleportation yet, I'll work on it.
---
Me: H, does your printer work yet?
Hartmetz: Nope. Either wait or go to the library.
Me: I don't wanna walk all the way to the library.
Hartmetz: Then go to the library.
Me: What?
Hartmetz: Are you back yet?
Me: Still haven't developed teleportation, O Master.
---
Turner: I'm still the only bass trombone trying out, right?
Hartmetz: Nope. *other kid from other school* is trying out.
Turner: But he plays tenor trombone.
Hartmetz: Nope! He plays tenor AND bass. He goes both ways, watch out tonight.
---
Hasko: *conducting while Hartmetz is busy*
Hartmetz: *returns*
Hasko: *doesn't cut us off at a fermata, instead hands off the baton to Hartmetz*
Hartmetz: *cuts us off* We really should start relay conducting...that'd be an interesting Olympic sport.
---
Hartmetz: Scott, I don't know how you can see me over all of Brianne's hair.
Everyone: OOOHHH. BURN.
Hartmetz: ...what? I thought having a lot of hair was a good thing...I've never seen an attractive bald woman in my life. Everyone looks good with more hair. Even me--
Hasko: *pulls his hair out of its ponytail and does a hilariously epic hairflip*
Hartmetz: ...yes, even Mr. Hasko.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:06 pm
So after our fight song, we do this dance called "Jose", pronounced ho-zay.
Well, at one point we do the macarena. We do a hip shake, then a hip thrust and a loud "huh!"
Well, during the hip shake, the drums are playin a rythym that goes perfectly with the phrase "i slept with your mom!"
Well, it got so bad, we were doing it on the first day of school and our director got tickedXD Caus eit was in frotnof the entire school haha.
Harris: WE DONT NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH EVERYONES MOM THE NIGHT BEFORE! If you nare gonna be having soem extra fun with peoples parents, keep it to yourself!
Mind this was in front of the entire scool...
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Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:44 pm
Mr. Stein: "Last year, you (whatever graders) were to fidgety, so what was our motto?"
The Whatever graderes:" 'Don't be a squirrel!' "
Mr. Stein: "Good, now this year, everyone can't be quiet so our new motto is 'Rehearse like ninjas!' "
Can you see why I absolutely love my band???
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Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:23 pm
Once we were practicing and my BD goes...
Clarinets... FINGER IT!
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:53 pm
This was not from my band director, but it was so epic that I have to put it here.
Craig: Brandon, what time is it?
Brandon: 4/4.
Craig: Ah, tha---what?
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:13 pm
Something my band director always says, it's become our little inside joke.
"If it starts to storm while we're playing, the color guard can stand on top of the stadium and act like lightening rods."
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:26 pm
dolofonos daimonas Something my band director always says, it's become our little inside joke. "If it starts to storm while we're playing, the color guard can stand on top of the stadium and act like lightening rods." This remidned me of the other day in band. We get on the field for 6am rehearsal, and its really cloudy. Well, as the sun comes out and the clouds disapear, we start feeling droplets on us. All of a sudden, it starts pouring! and the sky was clear at this point! So our director, because she did not want woodwinds to get messed up, came over the god-speaker(our longranger doesnt work very much, so she uses the stadium mic so it sounds like God) Note we had just started our openerXD BD: stop! Stop!!!! STOP!!!! Good. Now woodwinds and drumline, RUN!!!! everyone else, get the woodwinds music and help colorguard prepare.
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:05 am
A running joke of my director's:
"If you play like that, they'll all be getting popcorn during the show!"
Last rehearsal, he...improvised a bit.
H: NO. DON'T PLAY LIKE THAT, BAND. THEY'LL ALL GET UP AND GET POPCORN DURING THE SHOW. DO IT AGAIN.
Band: *does it again even worse*
H; NO, NO, NO! NOW I JUST WANT TO GET POPCORN SO I CAN THROW IT AT YOU. GET. IT. RIGHT!
---
(Note, Scott is a tenor sax)
Hartmetz: *walks toward trombones* SCOTT. YOU WERE OUT OF ST---SCOTT? *to people around him* Where the heck is he?
Everyone: lolidk.
Hartmetz: YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER, SCOTT. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE. YOU HAVE TO COME OUT SOMETIME. *to people around him* Seriously, where'd he go?
Clarinets: TENOR SAXES ARE OVER HERE, H. LOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Hartmetz: SCOTT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING IN YOUR SPOT LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE? *joking, walks over and fixes the problem*
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:43 am
((This is with me and one of the drum majors)) Kennith:"Hey uhhh Nikole right?" Me:"Yea..." Kennith:"Let me see your mouth piece for a moment." Me:"Sure why not." -gave him the mouthpiece and he cleaned it on his pants.A few seconds later we heard a clank- Me:"Please tell me you dropped a quarter in that drain..." Kennith:"Uhhh..." -he pats me on the back and with a painc voice whispers- Kennith:"Don't worry i'll get you a better one that will help you with your notes,you'll be better then everyone!" Me:"I don't know how i'm going to tell Mr.--hey whats wrong with my notes!" -already marching before i could yell at him- Me:"Great...now how am i going to explain this one...." Me:"Mr.Tapia look what Kenny did!" 
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:57 am
(( A few weeks after the incident )) Mr.Tapia:"Hey Nikole,wheres your mouthpiece.'' Me:"Ha.Ha.Sir." Mr.:"Hey,im serious without you we can't get pity from the judges." Me:"Excuse me!" Mr.Tapia:"You are like a major support rod to this group Kennith doesn't play as often so we need you and your suckish playing to bring it home and make the French Horn section look big." Me:"I don't know if i should take this as a compliment or an insult..." Mr.Tapia:"Well whatever you chose you can always blame Kennith cause right know we have three French Horns playing and i wanted four." Me:"Then let Kenny play once in a while." Mr.Tapia:"No!He'll drop his mouthpiece in a tuba or something!"
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:45 pm
My band director has this habit of comparing the way we play to the abuse of animals. My freshman year, we were supposed to play some light staccato notes and we were doing it wrong.
BD: NO, NO STOP! Imagine this cute little bunny. *holds up hands as if holding said animal* You're supposed to play like this: *imitates petting it lightly* Not this: *pretends to stab the bunny*
Everyone: O_///
Or his favorite:
BD: DON'T SHAKE THE PUPPY!!!
He also likes to threaten people who are talking.
BD: Mr. Sweet, I have a shotgun and a shovel and I doubt anyone will miss you.
Sweet: O_o
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:54 pm
It's been unusually rainy here (Since we live in Texas) and our BD says, every time it gets cloudy, "IT'S NOT GOING TO RAIN! Don't bring your rain gear!" Well every time he's said that, guess what..
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:45 pm
teacher: starts singing in high voice, oh god that nearlly ripped my jocks
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:48 pm
Dude in my class- "messes up scale"
Teacher- "Stop ******** around! I'm sick of you and jacob ******** around! You're ******** killing me! Try at least to play this s**t right! Damnit!!"
Dude- eek
Teacher- "Ok then"
First time I've heard one of my teachers cussing someone out in class.
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