Welcome to Gaia! ::

I've been sleeping like all the time. o3o

This place has been so dead, it's got the starting of rigor mortise.

That's what we in the trade call pointless melodrama. There's no reason to feel anxiety over a game. Maybe you should stop playing all of them for a while until you stop worrying about it. The anxiety you describe is not healthy.



No it wasn't. The house always has the edge. There are ways to mitigate this, such as doubling up your stake each time you lose then going back down when you win, but you need a lot of money in order to do that.

The exception is in blackjack where careful counting can give you the edge. Unfortunately in many virtual casinos they don't model the decks of cards correctly, so its only worth trying in real life. Poker against other players is the way to go, if you know how and its available in-game.

anywho, now for randomness that i wanna share with all o'ya.

one of the thoughts i have been having lately is a sort of expansion on an old belief of mine. a simple philosophical thought.

all of the drama and trials we go through in this world are trivial. in the grand scheme of things, we are completely insignificant, in this huge and wondrous Universe that humbles us completely. in comparison we don't matter, we would be arrogant to an ungodly level to think that we're even noticed by anyone or anything outside our tiny little solar system.

and yet, we are made up of the very same elements and particles as all that stardust and space-matter that humbles us. we are made of all the same stuff as everything around us, great and small. of all the same stuff as a universe who's very existance still baffles us. just like that very Universe we live in, we are Miracles.

we are Insignificant little Miracles, and that's all we are. but we are all that.


it's thoughts like these that i miss having. my little random bouts of philosophy. these moments make me feel truely at home, truely myself. to have this relapse into my old interests of understanding, my interests in Science (particularly Biochemistry and Astronomy) makes me feel comfortable for the first time in a very long time.

all these weeks now i've been stressing out too much, having nightmares, focusing on all this human stuff. i realy needed to have this calm feeling, to be reminded of that sense of simultaneous insignificance and universal connectedness. that sense of simultaneous individuality and one-ness with all. i feel like sharing these reminders with other people now, just loving on them and telling them these messages. perhaps i'll write a song or two, or maybe i'll just graffiti. who knows.

anywho, i just wanted to get this written down. i think it's time for something like that.

xd pretty much.

етого?