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 Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:53 pm
"Stop sucking and blow!!!"
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Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:13 pm
Does hearing a band teacher spazzing at a group of trumpets for looking at their shoes during concert band rehearsal count?
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Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 8:13 pm
Don't make me come down there and spank you.
or
Act like this part is a chocolate covered cherry. you build up and build up but you dont want to pop the cherry. then finally you reach the peak and pop that cherry.
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:31 pm
Our bass drum and snare drum were rushing the Pomp during rehearsal.
They were getting bored and started dancing while playing.
Hartmetz: *yelling over the band playing* HEY GUYS. LET'S NOT MAKE THIS FRUITY. STOP IT.
...yes, he did call my drumline's captains fruity. Most of the band couldn't even see them and were really confused. xD
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 11:04 pm
So I'm in drumline, and one year, we had to play three pieces and play them perfect so we could be judged on how good we are, by the way we were perfect! Though the last song we had to play was the longest and hardest, and the day for our judgement was getting closer and closer, so my director, Ms. Schaper (promounced sharper), was getting tougher as the day got closer. So on a Thursday night practice, someone brought a cat to the band hall, but no one really knew about it other than the people who brought it. So, we were playing our final piece, but everytime someone made a mistake and the teacher heard it, she would immediately stop us and tell us to redo from a certain measure, and we had to stop like hundreds of times just to get a certain section perfect. Well this section happened to be the end and it had a huge, HUGE finisher where it would just STOP at the end and we had to be perfectly still and silent when the song was over to make it more intense. Well we couldn't get to the end until it was almost time to go, and finally we finished it, and this is what we heard..... MEOW!! HAHAH it was hilarious because the cat had great timing! The whole band laughed so hard, it was priceless!
Our band is hilarious and I never want to leave it..
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:39 pm
Hartmetz: *cuts the band off* ALEX. Do you know why we crashed and burned?
Alex: No?
Hartmetz: Because when I looked up at you when you were out of time on that bass drum, YOU WERE STARING AT WILL. There's a time and place for gazing lovingly into Will's eyes, and while we're playing is NOT IT.
Hartmetz: If any of you guys are interested in being Ty's keeper for next year with a guaranteed seat in Ensemble 1, I can hook you up with a bassoon and lessons. Prerequisites are: being able to hit him without me noticing, keeping him from wandering off, and being able to learn bassoon. The only downside is that you have to sit next to him all year.
Ty: That should be basis for a scholarship.
Hartmetz: YES. On your college application: 'I sat next to Ty'. And they'll be like: 'Oh, wow, really? That's impressive. Here's money.'
Me: Would I get a free ride for being his section leader in marching band, then?
Hartmetz: SECOND CLARINET. LOUDER. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Second clarinet: *plays louder, ends up squeaking louder instead*
Hartmetz: That's not what I had in mind.
Hartmetz: NO, WE ARE NOT PLAYING STAR WARS FOR THE RECESSIONAL.
Hartmetz: Mary, you have to stand up to play timpani, especially the Pomp.
Me: Do I have to?
Hartmetz: Mary, stand up.
Me: *stands up* Fine.
Hartmetz: ...I said stand up.
Me: REALLY.
Trumpet: So when do we stand up?
Me: ...he's calling me short, nobody's standing up randomly in the Pomp.
Trumpet: Oh...so when do we stand up?
And now for some Walkerisms. For note, he is one of two black guys in my band...which means he can be stereotypical on purpose and be HILARIOUS.
Hartmetz: Now, this is a march. It needs to be light and...crisp.
Walker: CRISP LIKE KFC.
Everyone: LOLWHAT.
Hartmetz: This is gonna be a walk in the park...
Walker: Hockey parks are my favorite!
Percussion: Uh...what?
Walker: I don't know, but it confused everyone. biggrin
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:44 pm
"Great balled headed cats!" Well, it was the old band director who quit, but still! It was at the end of the measure when one of the drums dropped their stick and it bounced all the way on the other drums until it rattled on the floor. It was hilarious!
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:04 am
An alumnus came back to play for graduation, and he has this amazingly tricked out Mustang.
Me: WHOA, I like your car.
Mangus: Thank you. 8D
Hartmetz: *motions toward his big, boxy blue van* Now THIS is a nice vehicle. No real shape, square...old...
Mangus: *revs his Mustang, loudly* I'M SORRY, WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY CAR.
Mangus: *discussing his vs. Hartmetz's yachts* Oh, your 'yacht'. Right.
Me: How big is your 'yacht' again, H?
Hartmetz: 20.5 ft. And it's---
Mangus: *mouths words* Piece-of-crap.
Hartmetz: It is not!
Mangus: Ohhh, yes it is.
Hartmetz: Don't you diss my yacht!
Mangus: It's not even a yacht! It's only 21 feet.
...a similar discussion happens EVERY time Mangus visits. Oi.
EDIT:
Hartmetz: Yeah, well, you know what guys? Go to L...Go to L. ...no, actually, make that H. And yes, you know that was funny. >_>
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:45 pm
our band director was in such a good mood. it was near the end of the year, and we were playing a song with a lot of rests.
during the rests he would make funny noises, like "yeehaw! and he would flap his lips and basically any funny noises you can make....it was hilarious. i kept laughing into my flute....
another time one of our snare drum players was sitting in the back, he looked really bored. my BD stood up and asked "what is jack doing back there...? picking his nose with his stick..?"
i know he meant drumstick, but the whole band burst out laughing after a series of " nooo! im not doing that!".....so funny.
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Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 5:23 pm
So this was during band banquet. Mr. Belski (our band director) was giving out awards and such, and once he was done, he said "someone requested a certain award, and it was very tempting. The award was 'the section most likely to cause a mushroom cloud.' The only problem with that is that the same section will always get it no matter what." then he pointed to the tubas.
Another time, it was during one of our marching band rehearsals, and one of the trumpets was having an issue with his tuning slide. He kept saying "its stuck!" over and over again. Belski said "thats what she said"
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Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:20 pm
My band director just throws things at me, and asks me if I walked to school or brought my lunch. >_> and that rofls when I stare at him confusedly.
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Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:21 pm
that her son said "Your not listening to my words! There's an alligator in the house! I'm serious!"
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Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:21 pm
-Morning practice before State Festival-
"Alto saxies Try to sound more like the horny French"
-everyone looks at him-
"uhh yeah.. that didn't sound good"
-Later after that-
-BD is pissed and face is blood red-
"Would y'all just play it right all ready!!"
-throws baton,jumps off box thing and stomps on the ground-
-During practice before stage at Festival-
"Layne (berry sax) blow out on that part,blow like you blowing... I don't know. I can't think of anymore analogies,make your own" -whole band starts laughing-
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Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:45 am
Once, my friend had her legs out and her stand pushed in really close to her, between her legs, and our band director goes: "Lindsay! That looks wrong and ghetto! STAND ABUSE!" We all erupted in laughter and the percussionists made many nasty jokes. xD
And then, our BD made the flutes play a whole section by themselfs, 'cause it didn't sound right. Well, the section was piano, and all but one flute is playing really quiet. Lindsay, the 'ghetto' flute player is blasting the notes out as loud as she can, and the BD goes: "You sound like a bull in a china shop!!" None of us knew what that meant but Lindsay's kinda big and she goes: "OOOOH. So I'm a bull now?" And then a sax player behind her goes: "And ghetto! DOn't forget ghetto!" It was hilarious. xD
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