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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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 Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:59 am
Palpy: So a Grand Admiral says to me, " If we conquer the entire galaxy- "
Vader: Won't we invade less worlds?
* Palpy looks at Vader, confused *
Vader: Yes, we will invade less worlds. We're conquering too much. This all happened before. By now the troopers stop preparing for assault.
* bells sound and stormies stop boarding the transports, Palpy and Vader look on *
Vader: And you say?
Palpy: Maybe we did conquer the galaxy already.
Vader: Mmmhmm.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:56 pm
Trey Callum: (Upon first spotting the Imperial Walkers at Hoth): I think I just s**t my snowpants.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 8:54 pm
:Vader to Palpatine:
Vader- You can tke this job and shove it!
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:06 pm
( Aboard the USS Executor )
Vader: Sith Lord's log, stardate... whatever the Hell today is. The Executor is en route to find the secret rebel base.
( on the bridge )
Vader: What's our ETA?
Officer: We're due toa arrive in... now. We're in range, Captain Picard.
Vader: ... Picard?
Thrawn: He was recently transfered from another ship, and still young, Sir.
Vader: What's your name, kid?
Officer: Wesley Crusher, Sir.
Officer 2: Incoming X-Wings.
Vader: Raise shields. Mr. Thrawn, fire phasers.
Thrawn: We have no phasers, Sir. This isn't Star Trek.
Vader: Hmm, I was beginning to wonder what this weirdness was.
Officer 2: We're being hailed, Captain Vader.
* screen turns to facial of another captain *
Picard: This is Jean-Luc Picard, Jedi Knight of the United Federation of Planets.
Jarjar: * pops in behind Picard, sees Vader on the screen * Ani? Ani! Mesa been looking all over for you, Ani!
Vader: Dammit, not you, Jarjar! Mr. Crusher, get us the Hell outta here! ... Mr. Crusher?
* Crusher waves from on screen *
Vader: How'd he get aboard their ship?
Thrawn: Bad scripting with the plot, Sir.
* everything vanishes as GL wakes up from his dream *
GL: Whoa, I have an idea for a new movie.
TREK WARS
Episode Never: Clash of the Universes
A long time ago, in space, the final frontier...
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:20 pm
Luke:come on pricess lets get it on right here and now *strips*
leia: OMG SOMEONE KILL ME
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:23 pm
Luke- *Wakes Up to Alarm Clock* *Stretches and fixes some Cereal and Juice* *Sits down at Computer and Turns on*
Computer- ... {Good morning, Luke.}
Luke- O.o... WTF?
Computer- {Ever wondered why your lovelife is so bad?}
Luke- ... *Types* {Who are you?}
Computer- {Follow the White Mynock.}
Luke- Wait, hold on! What the hell?!
Computer- {Knock, knock.}
Door- *Knocks*
~
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:06 pm
( continued, some time later )
* 3 identical men with shades on approach *
Darth Smith: Hello there, Mr. Jedi-son.
Luke: My name... is Skywalker!
( fight scene, complete with 360 rotating camera shot )
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 8:10 pm
:After dream-PWNing, Luke wakes up in his own bed during a storm:
Luke- Gah.....My head....
Leia- *Phones Calls: Luke...
Luke- HOLY HELL, leave me alone!
Leia- Meet me under the bridge outside the Senate Rotunda... *Click*
Luke- question .....
:Ten Minutes Later:
*Speeder Pulls Up* Leia opens door*
Leia- Get in.
Luke- Um.... okay....
Leia- Kay, now take your shirt off...
Luke- Oh, hell yeah... cool
Leia- Pervert- *Slaps and Pulls out Vacuum thingy*
Luke- Hey, wait, what're you doing? gonk
Leia-Shut Up. *Sucks out Sith a**l Butt Probe*
Luke- Ah s**t, it's real?!
Leia- If you only knew....
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:47 pm
Luke: What the Hell are you doing, man?
Han: * through a comm in " reality " * This is the end, Skywalker. Or should I say, LUCAS?
Luke: WTF!?
Han: * pulls the plug, but LUke manages to get to the phone just in time *
GL: * jerks up * Gagh! You tried to kill me you son of a sith!
Han: Dammit, I HAD YOU!
GL: Wait, what the... I'm hideous! NOOOOOOO! Dang it, I wish you HAD killed me.
Han: Can do. * draws his blaster and fires *
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:53 am
Luke- What the hell is happening to me?! gonk
Ben- Simple. You are THE CHOSEN ONE.
Luke- What the hell does that mean?!
Chewbacca- Chwooooooaaaaar!
Leia- Right... anyway, you two need to get to training. Give the kid a saber.
Han- Sure. Let's get you plugged in kid..
Luke- I'm so confused!
~
Ben- Okay, try to hit me.
Luke- *Flails with lightsaber, missing*
Ben- .......
Luke- Did I get it?!
Ben-........
Leia- *Over Intercomm* Hey, get back over here! We got incomming Star Destroyers!
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:24 pm
((Scene: Dagobah, as Luke is leaving for Besbin.))
Luke: I have to go and fight Vader!
Yoda: No. Ready you are not. Kill you like a small dog he will. Your anger, let it be like a monkey in a pinata...hiding amongst the candy...hopping the kids dont break through with a stick...
Link:..Dwah?
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:38 am
(Luke sees a vision of him and Obi-Wan running through a white hallway being chased by Darth Vader and The Emperor)
Obi-Wan:Taaakkkeee on meeeee, Take meeeee onnn!! I'll beeee gonnnee, In a daaaaaaaayyyyy or two!!
(Reached a dead end they start beating on the walls until they fall and Luke suddenly stumbles out of the closet of his apartment and face plants infront of Mara Jade)
Mara:Luke, where have you been?
Luke sad Cries out)I DON'T KNOW!!!
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 10:20 am
:An EMP Blast Later:
Obi Wan:Well, they're gone. Time to go revist The Empire.
Luke: The what?
Leia: It's where you came from. That evil cess-pit of lies and the Dark Side.
Han- Ssshh.. don't say that in front of Mr. Vader.
Lando: Yeah..... so.... want some really bad mojo?
Luke: I guess... *drinks*... Gah! What is this? Wookiee pee?
Chewie: *Pokes in* {Hey Lando, seen where I put my toilet?}
Lando: Yeah... so, seeya there!
:Inside The Empire:
Luke: Where are we going? gonk
Obi-Wan: To the Master.
Luke: The what?
Leia: Trust me, you want to see this guy...
Luke: *Passes random Jedi Initiate bending spoon*
Yoda: Greetings, young one.
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