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 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:53 am
Oxycodone as well, but I only took it once (one pill is all you need to go bye-bye) for the incredible pain (My teeth got yanked out, as I said earlier).
It was awesome. I asked to see my wisdom teeth. They were whole, not a scratch on 'em, except for the lower one. They are huge and the anchors run deep.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:43 pm
Why is it that, by the time anyone ever asks you the truth about something, they're already so convinced of what the truth is that, no matter what you say, if it contradicts what they believe, they'll say you're lying? It really pisses me off when I get in trouble for lying, when I'm telling the truth, and the people who get me in trouble use all sorts of things that are completely unreasonable to justify their truth. I really, really, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE it when that happens.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 3:31 pm
chikushou Why is it that, by the time anyone ever asks you the truth about something, they're already so convinced of what the truth is that, no matter what you say, if it contradicts what they believe, they'll say you're lying? It really pisses me off when I get in trouble for lying, when I'm telling the truth, and the people who get me in trouble use all sorts of things that are completely unreasonable to justify their truth. I really, really, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE it when that happens. Usually, this happens with authority figures..you know, like parents... stare Sometimes I think that they need to pay attention, as we will not be four-year-olds forever. Personally, I've found that logic is your best friend when talking with authority figures. Logical arguements like "I did this because of A and B, which led to C" seem to work well on parents and other figures. In fact, it tends to take most of the blowhard out of them. On the other hand, if the person accusing you is guilty...well, they're just blaming you...and if you know you didn't do it...well, there's a good chance that the person passing off the buck to you is the one who did it...
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:40 pm
Being a wandering soul, I've always known what being isolated, outcasted, and seperated from people was like...but I would never imagine i would get that feeling from my own family. As i was finishing up a commision for someone, I heard my brother talk to my mom about taking him, his girlfriend, my mom, and my sister to dinner at Hometown Buffet. The thing that hurt me most was that he said their names...but he never even brought up my name once. It felt like he didn't want me to join them for a meal, to be with them, to enjoy myself and be together with them. At that moment, I felt like I was outcasted by the only people I could even try to show feelings for.It felt like they didn't want me to enjoy life with them, to enjoy myself with them, to enjoy a moment of togetherness with them. It felt like...like they didn't want ME, and it still makes my heart ache every time i hear about it and thnk about it. Some days I cant take how lonely I am, how much love I crave, and how much love I can't have because of my lack of ability to provide for potential mates. I can't run away from my home because I have no where to go, and the only people that do care about me are on the net, and I can't even touch them or hug them or feel them up close. It hurts so much to know that I can't acquire the love I desire because of financial setbacks and because my own family refuses to let me grow up...but theres nothing I can do to put an end to this. If I try to ask them for something I need, it goes ignored, forgotten in the tide of "stuff" they have to do. If I kill myself, I not only hurt them, but many others that have grown attached to me. So I cnontinue living on for them and awakening to find no love, and nothing i need, but everything I want. know i have to make my own happyness...but I think that might take some time to do so...
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:42 pm
OOOOKKKKKKKK!! I need to rant, and hopefuly get some help from you folks...
On friday, my gf and i had agreed to go to homecoming, then when we get to the game, she throws a ******** fit on the ground saying how she doesnt want to go to the game (we were outside the gate) and she forced her freind to take her somewhere else, totally ditching me. (her freind was her only ride and her freind had wanted to go to the game, poor girl)
I broke up with that immature b***h. And I almost got better over the weekend...
Until now...
One of my best girl-freinds name is Shawna, I love her to death.
I called her house tonight, to talk and just have a good chat, and I hear her mother crynig on the other end of the phone, saying how shawna had left the house to go live with 'Chris'.
Chris is a man-whore/player/a*****e who has been pressureing shawna to come live with him. She believes he loves her, even though he banged some other chick over the weekend.
I am worried sick about her, earlier I actually ran out of my house to go and find her. Several cops picked me up, talking about how it wasnt safe being out at night like I was, and I said it wasnt safe to try and stop me.
Their reply was that I get in the car or they would mace me. (These cops happened to be the same ones who watch my school during the day, and they happen to know me from several occations) Reluctantly, I got into the car, not wanting to be maced.
These cops were assholes, and they didnt listen to me when I told them about shawna, and they took me home. So, now I am waiting here at home, and wishing I could go out and find her...
======
I was so worried last night, sicne this post was posted last night in a different thread, that I worked myself out. I literally worked out until i could not even pick myself up off of the ground. I couldnt move, and i just fell asleep on the floor.
Today, nothing seemed to go right, except for me getting a 90 on a precal quiz, my highest grade this year in precal. I was solemn and alone most of the day, cause now that my former-gf hates me, she's managed to get everyone else to hate me too.
Ive decided to become A-sexual, non-flirty, and quiet, like I used to be. At least everyone had a reason not to know me when i never talked....
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:10 am
Lord Vyce Oxycodone as well, but I only took it once (one pill is all you need to go bye-bye) for the incredible pain (My teeth got yanked out, as I said earlier).
It was awesome. I asked to see my wisdom teeth. They were whole, not a scratch on 'em, except for the lower one. They are huge and the anchors run deep. I am allergic to that medication.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:14 am
chikushou Why is it that, by the time anyone ever asks you the truth about something, they're already so convinced of what the truth is that, no matter what you say, if it contradicts what they believe, they'll say you're lying? It really pisses me off when I get in trouble for lying, when I'm telling the truth, and the people who get me in trouble use all sorts of things that are completely unreasonable to justify their truth. I really, really, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE it when that happens. I feel your pain chi... I still have issues about when I tell the truth and other's don't believe me. It stems back from years of child abuse I still haven't completely gotten over it and I'm 25 gonk The only thing I can really say is that if you are sure in yourself and your convictions then do what you can to let it roll off your back. Take the attitude that 'if they don't believe you then that's their problem' it is kind of an extreme apporach for the moment. It might help though to help get you past those frustrated feelings from when people don't believe you. B/C let me tell you they will feel like a bigger a** when they finally do realize the truth you've been telling them all along.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:23 am
Shoryuken OOOOKKKKKKKK!! I need to rant, and hopefuly get some help from you folks... On friday, my gf and i had agreed to go to homecoming, then when we get to the game, she throws a ******** fit on the ground saying how she doesnt want to go to the game (we were outside the gate) and she forced her freind to take her somewhere else, totally ditching me. (her freind was her only ride and her freind had wanted to go to the game, poor girl) I broke up with that immature b***h. And I almost got better over the weekend... Until now... One of my best girl-freinds name is Shawna, I love her to death. I called her house tonight, to talk and just have a good chat, and I hear her mother crynig on the other end of the phone, saying how shawna had left the house to go live with 'Chris'. Chris is a man-whore/player/a*****e who has been pressureing shawna to come live with him. She believes he loves her, even though he banged some other chick over the weekend. I am worried sick about her, earlier I actually ran out of my house to go and find her. Several cops picked me up, talking about how it wasnt safe being out at night like I was, and I said it wasnt safe to try and stop me. Their reply was that I get in the car or they would mace me. (These cops happened to be the same ones who watch my school during the day, and they happen to know me from several occations) Reluctantly, I got into the car, not wanting to be maced. These cops were assholes, and they didnt listen to me when I told them about shawna, and they took me home. So, now I am waiting here at home, and wishing I could go out and find her... ====== I was so worried last night, sicne this post was posted last night in a different thread, that I worked myself out. I literally worked out until i could not even pick myself up off of the ground. I couldnt move, and i just fell asleep on the floor. Today, nothing seemed to go right, except for me getting a 90 on a precal quiz, my highest grade this year in precal. I was solemn and alone most of the day, cause now that my former-gf hates me, she's managed to get everyone else to hate me too. Ive decided to become A-sexual, non-flirty, and quiet, like I used to be. At least everyone had a reason not to know me when i never talked.... well I definately agree with oni's opinion on this topic. really all I can add to what she said is just to be there for her no matter what. Express your opinion that you do not like her decision but that you respect her and her decisions. that way she know's that if and when the relationship goes sour she won't be alone.. it makes getting out of abusive relationships that much easier... eventhough they are extremely hard to leave. But it also shows that you are not trying to FORCE her into doing something that you and others want her to do.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:30 am
Koiyuki Being a wandering soul, I've always known what being isolated, outcasted, and seperated from people was like...but I would never imagine i would get that feeling from my own family. As i was finishing up a commision for someone, I heard my brother talk to my mom about taking him, his girlfriend, my mom, and my sister to dinner at Hometown Buffet. The thing that hurt me most was that he said their names...but he never even brought up my name once. It felt like he didn't want me to join them for a meal, to be with them, to enjoy myself and be together with them. At that moment, I felt like I was outcasted by the only people I could even try to show feelings for.It felt like they didn't want me to enjoy life with them, to enjoy myself with them, to enjoy a moment of togetherness with them. It felt like...like they didn't want ME, and it still makes my heart ache every time i hear about it and thnk about it. Some days I cant take how lonely I am, how much love I crave, and how much love I can't have because of my lack of ability to provide for potential mates. I can't run away from my home because I have no where to go, and the only people that do care about me are on the net, and I can't even touch them or hug them or feel them up close. It hurts so much to know that I can't acquire the love I desire because of financial setbacks and because my own family refuses to let me grow up...but theres nothing I can do to put an end to this. If I try to ask them for something I need, it goes ignored, forgotten in the tide of "stuff" they have to do. If I kill myself, I not only hurt them, but many others that have grown attached to me. So I cnontinue living on for them and awakening to find no love, and nothing i need, but everything I want. know i have to make my own happyness...but I think that might take some time to do so... I chose to answer yours last. *huggles* I do know what it is like to have someone love you and yet you can't hold them. I go through that with my hubby when he goes out to sea. it can be very difficult. I know this sounds kind of weird but eventually they will have to let you go. you will eventually beome a financial burden on them to where they will want you to go out and get a job. I'd almost say try and do stuff where they need to give you money to speed up that process. I know this isn't much but please take solace in the fact that there are other's far worse than you and yet others in a far better situation. We have talked about it before briefly. They can't hold you forever... and you will have to sign up for the draft at some point.... unless you are the youngest male. Please don't do anything to harm yourself. I know that is a tempting idea. I went through that when I was younger. It's like when you are so alone and numb you want to feel something and you know it isn't going to be love so you might as well feel pain... doing that isn't going to solve the problem or make you feel any better... just worse later on. so I send you virtual kisses on the cheek and hugs.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:05 am
samsonite Koiyuki Being a wandering soul, I've always known what being isolated, outcasted, and seperated from people was like...but I would never imagine i would get that feeling from my own family. As i was finishing up a commision for someone, I heard my brother talk to my mom about taking him, his girlfriend, my mom, and my sister to dinner at Hometown Buffet. The thing that hurt me most was that he said their names...but he never even brought up my name once. It felt like he didn't want me to join them for a meal, to be with them, to enjoy myself and be together with them. At that moment, I felt like I was outcasted by the only people I could even try to show feelings for.It felt like they didn't want me to enjoy life with them, to enjoy myself with them, to enjoy a moment of togetherness with them. It felt like...like they didn't want ME, and it still makes my heart ache every time i hear about it and thnk about it. Some days I cant take how lonely I am, how much love I crave, and how much love I can't have because of my lack of ability to provide for potential mates. I can't run away from my home because I have no where to go, and the only people that do care about me are on the net, and I can't even touch them or hug them or feel them up close. It hurts so much to know that I can't acquire the love I desire because of financial setbacks and because my own family refuses to let me grow up...but theres nothing I can do to put an end to this. If I try to ask them for something I need, it goes ignored, forgotten in the tide of "stuff" they have to do. If I kill myself, I not only hurt them, but many others that have grown attached to me. So I cnontinue living on for them and awakening to find no love, and nothing i need, but everything I want. know i have to make my own happyness...but I think that might take some time to do so... I chose to answer yours last. *huggles* I do know what it is like to have someone love you and yet you can't hold them. I go through that with my hubby when he goes out to sea. it can be very difficult. I know this sounds kind of weird but eventually they will have to let you go. you will eventually beome a financial burden on them to where they will want you to go out and get a job. I'd almost say try and do stuff where they need to give you money to speed up that process. I know this isn't much but please take solace in the fact that there are other's far worse than you and yet others in a far better situation. We have talked about it before briefly. They can't hold you forever... and you will have to sign up for the draft at some point.... unless you are the youngest male. Please don't do anything to harm yourself. I know that is a tempting idea. I went through that when I was younger. It's like when you are so alone and numb you want to feel something and you know it isn't going to be love so you might as well feel pain... doing that isn't going to solve the problem or make you feel any better... just worse later on. so I send you virtual kisses on the cheek and hugs. Thanks Samsonite, I really need all the support I can get right now.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 1:55 pm
Can I go now?
My reatrded little school in the middle of Enlgand has like no people. ok? So i'm like used to going to a USA public school with 1000+ people, m? I'm going a little stir crazy, trying to not explode here. i'm also trying to cope with 3 essays a week and Junior level Spanish classwork (damn advanced classes!) and Japanese homework! I have no free time! (that's why I haven't been here) So, on top of all that, my diva friend, we'll call her Giuliana, is complaining that her daddy didn't buy her some Prada when he went to Italy. She's got enough freekin' Louis Vuitton to outfit ANY celebrity! And she's complaining!
Recently, I've been called a ho by like, 14 people this school year. Now, being called a ho is never very nice, but when it's by people who are your friends it sucks even more a**! So, Giulie is complaining once again how Tor touches her a**. WEll, missy, if you didn't wear such tight jeans and shake your thang so much then he woulnd't get that "message!" You're 13 for pete's sake!!! And I on the other hand have NO attention whatsoever from any guy! Sometimes i wish i was Giulie! And our Clique is falling apart. Slowly. It's 'cuz of Giulie's attitude and Satchan's "I need to know everything" outlook! *exhales*
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 5:08 pm
Aeinor Can I go now?
My reatrded little school in the middle of Enlgand has like no people. ok? So i'm like used to going to a USA public school with 1000+ people, m? I'm going a little stir crazy, trying to not explode here. i'm also trying to cope with 3 essays a week and Junior level Spanish classwork (damn advanced classes!) and Japanese homework! I have no free time! (that's why I haven't been here) So, on top of all that, my diva friend, we'll call her Giuliana, is complaining that her daddy didn't buy her some Prada when he went to Italy. She's got enough freekin' Louis Vuitton to outfit ANY celebrity! And she's complaining!
Recently, I've been called a ho by like, 14 people this school year. Now, being called a ho is never very nice, but when it's by people who are your friends it sucks even more a**! So, Giulie is complaining once again how Tor touches her a**. WEll, missy, if you didn't wear such tight jeans and shake your thang so much then he woulnd't get that "message!" You're 13 for pete's sake!!! And I on the other hand have NO attention whatsoever from any guy! Sometimes i wish i was Giulie! And our Clique is falling apart. Slowly. It's 'cuz of Giulie's attitude and Satchan's "I need to know everything" outlook! *exhales* *hugs*
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:26 pm
Wow, I actually have a rant to go on *gasp*
Ok....
I am a Music Composer (wish I could say I was good). I am currently writing a piece of music for an IMEA (Illinois Music Educators Association) contest, which if I get selected, will look good for colleges who want to put their stamp of approval on me. Now, lets make this a bit better. Roosevelt University is hosting a composition workshop. If I turn in a piece of music, they will play it, and help you make it better, which I am then going to use to re-work the piece, and turn it in for IMEA. My problem is its due tommorow for the workshop, its short as all hell (30 measures for the musicians), and to make this all better, I RAN OUT OF IDEAS! My parents make me go to sleep at 9, which gives me an hour and a half to come up with about 50 measures (Id like it to be at least 80 measures), GOOD measures. I am screwed. I just hope that my 30 measure draft will do. scream scream scream scream scream scream
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:05 pm
My mom just got through with giving me a speech about how I forgot to get her burrito from the car, and how she felt that I was treating everyone nicer than I treat her. Well I treat everyone else the same way I treat her, I do what I can for them, and if I can't, then I can't. The thing is, she doesn't see that, and thinks I'm neglecting her. And she says that she shows me love buy buying me food, internet, and all that; but thats the trouble. I don't want material love. I don't want food, I don't want drinks, I don't want things. I want love. Emotional, pure love. The same love I show to everyone else I meet. And that kind of love, she never shows to me, no matter what I do to get it. And she says I should treat others the way they treat me. Well if thats the case, I should be a selfish, manipulaive a*****e that only gives a s**t about what I want. I shouldn't care about how others feel or if what they're doing is more important, oh no, no. I should only watch out for #1, ******** everybody else.
Well, as anyone that really knows me knows, I don't work that way. I give to others. I befriend assholes if they need my help and guidance. I don't expect a damn thing in return for my kindness. I expect to see a smile on their face and joy in their hearts. Thats what I want. For them to be happy, not some ******** toy or McD's, or whatever.
Thats why I ******** hate living in a materialistic society. Everyone seems to think that things show love. In reality, things are things, they don't don't show any emotions. They don't feel anything. They're lifeless, emotionless, and easily disposed of. A hug or a kiss, however, is not easily thrown away. Telling someone you love them or cooking them a hot meal says and means a whole lot more than giving them a cheap, manufactured card that says the same s**t or taking them to some fancy, expensive a** restaurant for their anneversery.
My signature says I'm questing for a genuine smile, but with the way my family is going, thats looking more and more like a quest thats more improbable than the Angelic Halo. The love in this house is all but gone, and everytime I try to ignite the spark of love, its quickly snuffed out. Everybody's ywlling, everybody angry, and everybody seems to be busy earning money they don't need, and things they don't need...
Someone once told me I had a pure heart, but its hard to appreciate when no one will take the time to look at it. Someday, I will find the ability to show a genuine smile, but until then, I'll keep searching. From clubs to bookstores, Southern to Northern California, USA to Japan, I will span the globe, if I need to. All the money in the world cannot buy someone's love, and all the things in the world cannot replace a geuine smile...
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:28 pm
I really bothers me when, if you make a post contrary to theirs, people automatically attack your maturity and accuracy in reading. Like, in a thread I visit often, here, where I was arguing against a point someone made here, she responded as such: [.Higan Bana.] chikushou That's not what I was saying. rolleyes I was saying that it would, actually, be better for her to "stand there and be a total idiot", because she does not stand the risk of distracting them or ruining their concentration with her yelling. Quote: It had never affected Sasuke or Naruto beating up the opponent hadn't it? Quote: In terms of being an idiot, someone who stands there and doing ABOSOLUTELY NOTHING is considered as an idiot to me. *shrugs* I guess whatever floats your boat. Whether you think its useless for Sakura to yell out Sasuke's name and worry for him, is your problem. Quote: If all she could do is call out their names and not do anything to actually help them fight, then she'd be better off doing nothing. If she was really thinking and worrying about him, she would not call out his name unless she had something important to tell him, or that she noticed. It was not a cool and reasonable thing to do because it holds the risk of distracting them at precisely the wrong moment and thereby causing them to be injured. What's she's doing by calling out his name and worrying is even less logical than just silently worrying. That's all I was saying. The part I bolded, as well as the fact that she tried insulting my literacy without comprehending or connecting what I said with what I quoted really bothered me. Why is it so difficult for people to connect two thoughts together? If I quote a post, it must be because I want to connect my own with it. Shouldn't that be obvious?
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