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Agreed. Opinions do differ, but the vast majority of people think that you have to actually have sex (genital/genital or genital/a**l contact) in order to lose your virginity.

Some people do think manual sex and oral sex are both sex, but quite frankly, I don't understand the logic there. It's like saying pumpkin pie, apple pie, and pie all mean the exact same thing just because the word "pie" is there. xp

So I strongly disagree with the Divash post, no offense to anyone.

When it really comes down to it though, it does not matter. It's all about definitions, gray areas, and drawing lines. As with all issues, people aren't going to agree 100%. So if you think oral sex is sex, fine. If you don't, also fine. If you want to call yourself a virgin after having manual sex, oral sex, a**l sex, or even vaginal sex with a monkey, whatever. It's just a word, just a label. You are free to call yourself whatever you are the most comfortable with.

If the p***s is soft, it can be pretty much impossible to get it in a v****a. Similarly, if the v****a is dry, it can be close to impossible to get a p***s in there.

You can try a water-based lubricant if you haven't already. That might help him to slide in easier. You also have to make sure you are in the mood and relaxed. If you tense up, so does your v****a.

If you notice he goes soft before that point, don't keep trying to stuff his p***s in there. It won't work, and you will both probably just end up frustrated and out of the mood. Instead, stimulate him to get him erect again. This may involve using your mouth, hands, dirty talk, or whatever else he likes. It happens, so never make it seem like you are frustrated or angry with him. It's certainly nothing he needs to feel awkward about, and feeling awkward will only make it more difficult to get or keep an erection.

Although it is rare, some girls do have really thick hymens. Their hymens may be so thick that they get in the way of sexual activities and just won't break. If you think that might be your problem, talk to an ob-gyn about it. You have to start going to the ob-gyn when you become sexually active anyway, if not sooner. So schedule an appointment, tell her about the trouble you are having, and have her take a look. If your hymen is thick and intact, you could ask her if she could cut it.

first times are nerve racking and difficult sweatdrop

Megan and my first time was a very intimate thing. We sorta planned it out and everything. We did it in the shower, so it was difficult, but it was somthing special for both of us. We still think that was the best time even though it lasted only about 20 minutes. Now we always try to plan it out so we can look forward to it and everything.

My words of advice for others: Plan out your first time. It makes a world of a difference.

That's very common, but also completely avoidable in most cases. That's why it's really important to research sex before having it. Far too many girls feel pain unnecessarily.

The most common causes of pain are lack of lubrication and being nervous. So make sure you are relaxed, in the mood, and well lubrication before even attempting sex. If you don't think you're getting lubricated enough on your own, buy a water-based lubricant.

Also, make sure you are seeing an ob-gyn. All sexually active girls should be seeing one. While most pain is caused by being nervous or lack of lubrication, pain can also be caused by various gynecological problems such as infection.

It's probably just from being nervous and tense. That can make your v****a clench shut. If the problem is something else, your ob-gyn would be able to find it. 3nodding