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Scaramouche Fandango Crew
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 Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:29 pm
Day 6
The DM is shouting at the bartender, so PARTY takes her role behind the screen for now. "Um," he says, looking at the encounter notes. "This is kinda complicated, so make sure you listen to the instructions carefully..."
If you chose A... 4 points+dice result- consult table in the Dungeon Masters' Supplement- You decide to play it safe and hand over the gold. Stein doesn't seem to believe that this is all you have and through a lot of pointed looks and raised eyebrows, you are persuaded to strip. Stein and his men laugh at you, but they are kind enough to provide you with an appropriately sized leaf or leaves. If you were on a horse, it has been stolen. Also, you are naked. Before you can do anything else, you must find new clothes... so let's do that now! If you rolled a 1... You find a beggar who takes pity on you and gives you his shirt. It reeks of booze so much that you get +1 drunk point. If you rolled 2-3... You find a wandering priest who gives you his cassock- but you have to drink some ceremonial wine with him and take an additional +2 drunk points. If you rolled a 4... You steal some clothes from a clothesline. You're a criminal now, but hey, at least you don't have to take additional drunk points.
If you chose B... "Aha!" he cries. "A fight it is!" His gang circles around you and... begin to make strange noises. Stein shrugs off his jacket and begins to... recite poetry? "S to the T to the EIN, My name is Stein and Imma do yo a** in. Straight outta Camelot, protect ya neck I'm the baddest thug yo what the heck. Don't even bother tryin' call the cops, We're the baddest rappers gonna take what you got. If you havin' robber problems I feel bad for you son, I got ninety-nine problems but a snitch ain't one! If you want to stay in the game, write an eight-line rap battle verse defending yourself unless you chose bard back at the beginning. You must write this verse before the top of the next round. If you chose Bard back in round 1... Stein?" you say, shaking your head. "The same Stein who embarrassed himself so badly at the Prancing Pony a couple years ago?" You start laughing. "All of us bards have heard of you! Guys, that's the guy I was telling you about!" Stein's face goes pale and he flees... just like he did at the open mic night at the Prancing Pony after his ten-minute ode to his guild school dance instructor fell flat and his attempt at something called "Wonderwall" went over like ninety-nine lead balloons. Your party is so excited about not having to pay up, they perform a toast in your honor. +1 point. If you write the defense... You're nervous, but on the surface you look calm and ready. Stein nods at you to the rhythm of the beat and attempts to come up with a rebuttal, but starts to stammer and choke. He keeps on forgetting what he wrote down. The whole crowd goes so loud and he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out. Mom's spaghetti rumbles in his stomach and instead of delivering a blistering rap, he throws up in the bushes. Awkward. He and his crew nervously shuffle away. You are very, very confused. Maybe a swig from the flask will help. +2 points.
If you did not respond... Yeah, no. This is too much for you- first a quest and now highway robbery? Literal highway robbery? You don't have time to deal with this ratt, this scorpion, this whitesnake in the grass. It's just too much to enduran duran. You run. You run so far away. You eventually hit the coast and a flock of seagulls adopts you out of pity. You are out of the game but you are also now part of a seagull clan who loves you very much so you've got that going for you.
Regardless of how your encounter with the highwayman went, you make it back to the Red Dragon Inn. Flagón is there, holding court in a back room. He smiles nervously.
"Oh, you're back! Listen, I was really drunk the other night and am not actually sure what I said."
"You sent us back to your village to save it."
"Oh!"
"We met your sister."
"Oh. Um. Well, what did she have to say?"
"She says..."
A. "You're a failure at life and should go get a job on a rock farm."
B. "You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
C. "You should buy us drinks. Lots of them." (roll a d4)
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:52 pm
*10 Points*
[Choice A - Failure, job on a rock farm]
Well, this was a bit awkward. Alec had no problems walking naked, but apparently a passing priest felt enough shame and awkwardness for him that he offered him his cassock and some wine. Alec took both readily, although the cassock was much too small for his massive frame. After some careful shredding and tying, he made a crude but serviceable loincloth, much to the mild horror of the priest.
He gave a little bow of thanks to the priest before heading off down the road again, wondering what might happen next. It had certainly been an odd few days, and that was saying something. He'd need to find another bear soon before the evening turned cold.
By the time he had reached his destiation, he hadn't found a bear. He had found a rabbit, though, which had made a nice dinner and he now had a pelt to work with once he found more. Maybe he could make a nifty little pouch out of it.
Once he found Flagón and they spoke, he snorted quietly at the elf's question. He was a little miffed at this point to say the least, and he wasn't so sure he could convincingly tell him to go out on an adventure. Besides, wouldn't he find it a bit strange?
"She says you're a failure and should get a job on a rock farm," he said flatly. "Although I hear the pay is very good."
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 6:16 pm
(8 points)
[Choice B]
Rudolph shook his head, snickering. Man, he'd never thought he'd ever see that loser again and here the fool was trying to challenge him to a rap battle. Hah! His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth as he started to head back into the town to find the elf that had caused all this trouble in the first place.
And where did he find him? At the bar again of course, causing more trouble. With a sigh, the bard ran a hand through his hair and forced a smile onto his face.
"You know, you'd make a great adventurer."
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 6:19 pm
8 Points
Choosing B
Stein?! What a joke! Even the mild silver haired elf Norrívon had to chuckle at his failures and gave a dainty little wave as the man ran off. Taking the moment to enjoy the short celebration, the bard collected his thoughts before meandering back to the Red Dragon Inn, where he found Flagón in the back room, but then that was really no surprise. "Your sister said thee are worthy enough to adventure on thine own, seeking fame, fortune and riches!" the bard smiled with an elegant bow.
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 6:20 pm
(1 point for Wizard
2 points for horse
1 point for truth
1 point for trickery
Rolled 1
= 6 Drunk Points)
Option: B: Go adventure already 8|
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:27 pm
"..."
For about five minutes, all Vermithirod could do was stare as he tried to processes what had just happened. What the hell kind of retarded, abused language was that?! Were they all daft in the head? Did that even count as a fight? How in the name of all that was right and just in the world did this man and his comrades make a living off of that?!
He supposed it might have been so terrible that people handed over whatever was asked of them for fear that he might repeat his abhorrent spell of second-hand humiliation. Pained as he was to admit it in this situation, however, there was a legend that dragons were renowned for their ability to speak any language, and while Vermithirod wasn't sure if that was true, now seemed as good a time as any to test it. He just hoped speaking stupid didn't lower his IQ somehow.
Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly and tried not to ask himself if handing over all his belongings and clothes would have been less demeaning than what he was about to attempt.
"Y to the R to the U-A-pain?
Could it be because, despite your wealth, can't buy a brain?
Time is precious and you've wasted mine, so go get lost
Find some less irked, pissed-off traveler to go accost
If you still persist in pestering, I'll warn you now
I'll make sure that you regret it and you won't like how
You'll eat every word you butchered when I'm done with you
And you'll never harm another soul with s**t you spew."
Did it work? Did he manage to communicate with the barbarian savages making unholy sounds? It was hard to tell, because then the self-proclaimed leader of the savages made a big show of stammering, choking, and forgetting. Vermithirod assumed it was a sudden onset of stage fright. Or maybe he cursed himself with his horrid mimicry of spell-casting. Whatever the case, they decided to leave and the old man sighed as he tried to avoid looking at a particular clump of bushes.
Problem solved. Time to move on.
Choice B: "You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
While he might have liked to ask Flagón what had given him the delusion that his village needed saving, Vermithirod was too exhausted by the day's absurd events. Besides, who said he'd had any reason at all to claim his village needed saving? It could have been his subconscious or it could have just been bad beer.
No matter. Passing on his sister's message, the old man sat down for a rest. His old bones tired easily in this body, particularly when his mind was under such strain after encountering so many nuisances. All that alcohol along the way couldn't have helped, either.
1. Choice B: Wizard (1 point)
2. Choice B: On foot (0 points)
3. Choice A: No point in lying to her. "Yes, he did. Is there a problem?" (1 point)
4. Choice B: Tricking him into joining up with a band of wandering adventurers (1 point)
5. Choice B: Hell no, I worked for these coins! I can take him! (2 points)
= 5 Drunk Points
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Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:49 pm
Day 6: That's a rap, arrived at the inn at last: B. "You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
... What in the name of Hoovesus is going on here?!? What in the world did she just witness? Is that his way to start a battle? That beard of his was long enough to mop the floor with. Butch's patience ran out and she inhaled deeply before spitting out words back at him.
"B to the utch to the Bearrr
Whatever yer name is, we don't care
Ye must be out of yer mind to try and rob me, fool,
The nonsense ye've blurt out, dude, that ain't cool
Come fight me, 'dangerous' highway man, use yer strenght to the max
When I go swinging so swift, no shield is strong enough to block my ax!
Now move aside before I woop yer tiny a**
Ye better make way 'cus we need to f--king pass!"
Whatever she had done, it had seemed to work. Stein nods at the rhythm of the beat and attempts to come up with a rebuttal, but starts to stammer and choke. He keeps on forgetting what he wrote down. The whole crowd goes so loud and he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out. Mom's spaghetti rumbles in his stomach and instead of delivering a blistering rap, he throws up in the bushes. Awkward. He and his crew nervously shuffle away. Butch was very very confused. There were no words to describe what happened. She opened her flask and chugged down half the rum in one go before heading back to the inn...
As if the day wasn't torturous enough for her, there was still a part two. First some random bloke spewed out poetry in hopes of successfully being able to rob someone which ultimately failed, and now she came back to the inn to pass along a message to a LYING elf! She spotted the dinky elf at the same table where she found him the other night. "Shut yer mouth." She cut him off. "I was stupid enough to listen to ye the other night. I could have been out hunting and conquering more land. Instead, I was sent on a wild goose chase filled with LIES," her voice boomed loud throughout the inn. "We met yer sister." The elf's face froze in shock. What an annoying little elf. If only Chalice had sent me back to kill him... With gritted teeth, Butch said the following words: "She said that yer responsible enough to go out on an adventure of yer own seeking fame and fortune." She crossed her arms, and glared at him.
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Day 1: 2 drunk points slapped on
Day 2: 0 drunk points slapped on
Day 3: 1 drunk points slapped on
Day 4: 3 drunk points slapped on
Day 5: 2 drunk points slapped on
Day 6: ? drunk points slapped on
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 6:01 am
Cade Tealeaf - Halfling Rogue with a stolen mount who told the truth and suggested financial withholding then refused to be robbed (9 drunk points)
Oh so this guy wanted to battle with words and not swords? Cade could deal with this!! He was drunk enough to form his mind into a proper rebuttal. Striking a pose and strutting down between his men right towards Stein he lays it down.
"Little elf boy you better know your place
no one ever survives challenging me to my face!
You got lame rap skills making them fall off their benches
while my mad skills get me all the wenches!
Cade Tealeaf don't play to lose
so here's the time where need to choose.
You best back off boy before I thrown down
and see you run crying from the town!"
After his easy win Cade returned to the Inn, finding Mr. Elfpants "holding court". "Alright skippy I've talked things over with your sister despite not liking pillow talk and she feels you need more experience in life. So it's time to start adventuring. Get your boots dirty outside the tavern."
Choice B "You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 11:39 am
Choice: B
Drunk Points: 10
Cuero looked down at his clothes. "There has to be some god laughing at a undead wizard wearing religious cloth..."
Ah, and there it was the elf that started it this disastrous quest. "Ah..." He flung an arm around the elf's shoulders, the wine comsume earlier was the only reason he wasn't snapping his neck in half. "Well, she said, and by the way she is a very lovely woman, that is perhaps time for you to experience the world beyond the pubs. It would do you well to take on a quest, try out something for yourself and see what the world has to offer. And really, you have no idea how much you get to drink in quests..."
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 11:59 am
A. You're a failure.
Reiphis reeled, though it wasn't clear whether from the alcohol prior or from the madz rhymez. Putting one dagger to his own chin in thought, and slotting the other back, he started:
"I don't need nobody to know my name,
some street thug ain't gonna touch my fame
if I said it out loud, you'd gonna just run
Imma need you here 'till my slayin' is done
Which fool thief uses a damn rapier
no self-respectin' rogue - and I'll make this clear -
wields anything else but a sturdy dagger
your pithy little hold-up lacks the swagger
Why do I spend my time schoolin' this guy
when all you really are is just small fry? Beat it." He ended with a pun. He was very proud, if slightly groggy, as the robber fled from his poetry slam.
Reiphis was suitably annoyed (though triumphant) when they found Flagon again. "You're a failure at life and should go get a job on a rock farm." He stated.
Points: 8
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:00 pm
B. "You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
So the highwaymen took his suggestion a bit too literally. Luckily, it didn't take long to locate a wandering priest with a handy cassock, and the ceremonial wine was almost a balm after that indignation. He returned just in time to cringe at Reiphis' attempt to be hip. The walk back to Red Dragon (taken in absolute silence) was not quite long enough to erase that memory.
"You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune," Tiore informed the nervous elf tersely at the end of their little exchange.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:19 pm
(8 pts) (Choice: B)
The rogue rubs his forehead. His head hurts and this freaking shirt smells like... boozy piety. Or something.
"Yeah, congratulations, buddy. You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune," he says.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:35 pm
(Choice B: Points 12)
She glared at the elf as she tried to come up with a response, everyone in the whole Inn now knowing she was a half-orc now. As she finally recomposed herself, she gave him her answer ", You're responsible enough now to go out on an adventure of your own seeking fame and fortune."
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:23 pm
[Day 6 - Choice B ] Go on a long adventure off a short cliff [Drunk Points: 4 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 6 ] TOTAL: 13 Naked. Saved by a Priest. Now eye to eye with Flygon Flagon Flogon whatever. Punk was too drunk to understand that maybe persuading the kid into being an adventurer wouldn't work. At this point he wanted a nap or maybe some food. Food yes, god please. "She wants you to go on an adventure. Go get some fame and fortune and s**t. Have fun. It'd be great." His monotone response couldn't have spurred snails into action.
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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zippedsiren rolled 1 4-sided dice:
3
Total: 3 (1-4)
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:40 pm
Option C: Lets drink!
Points 8 : rogue + horse + lie + trick + hell no
Elett stood there confused at the challenge... a rap battle? Well that was a far less violent way to end things then she could have ever predicted. Putting her own blade away, she took a moment to choose her words. Never really that great a poetry, she did her best.
You think your rhymes are fly as a kite
But my lyrics are way more tight
Maybe you should go back to school
Take a few lessons on how to be cool
Maybe then you can bust a move
Sing like a lark and really groove
Quit trying to rob people blind
I think maybe you never learned to be kind
Afterward Elett flicked her hair and walked away, chugging down on her flask. Heading back to the tavern, she met up with Flagon. Time to enact the plan and get him to go off on an adventure of his own.
But first a little sweet justice. He was going to have to buy her some drinks.
"Let's talk about your future over a another pint or two."
Maybe if he was drunk again, it'll be easier to trick him!
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