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 Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:22 pm
His mind had been avoiding this deliberately. Even when prompted, it wanted to block these episodes from his mind.
"Other...people..." Faces flashed in his memory. Maria Wong, Tsubaki-hime, those poor schoolgirls...Hisoka bleeding and broken.
Tsuzuki's vision was clouded all of a sudden.
Red...everything dyed in red. Dripping with red.
"The blood...they all...screaming...blood. So much blood. So much blood. So much blood....I couldn't save them..." he curled in on himself, rocking back and forth like a mental patient.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:37 pm
Reaching out, Muraki put his hands on Tsuzuki's shoulders.
Since they were sitting in seats that faced one another, that was, perhaps the only comforting motion he could do.
"I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." wincing, Kazutaka tried to draw Tsuzuki's attention away from those mental images. "I was simply thinking that perhaps this power that you fear... is brought on by a desperate need to protect someone?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:46 pm
A sudden snap of energy radiated off of Tsuzuki as the doctor reached out for him, but the snap brought Tsuzuki back to reality.
"Wh....what happened?" it was a sif he had his own form of short-term amnesia, a typical sign of post-traumatic stress.
Even so, the shinigami was covered in a cold sweat now.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:53 pm
"You remembered something." Kazutaka spoke carefully, though he was rubbing his left hand in the process.
That jolt of energy had actually burned the top of his hand.
"Something traumatic... Have you ever seen a doctor or a psychiatrist for post-traumatic stress? It could help you, you know."
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:04 pm
"Remembered..." he stared off blankly.
"Hey...shouldn't you be the one trying to remember things?" Tsuzuki tried to brush it off, direction things away from himself.
Something felt funny now though. He felt kind of off, different.
Somehow during the course of this day, everything had become so very different.
Maybe, just maybe...if he helped Muraki, Muraki could help him.
The Muraki in front of him now reminded him so much of the Muraki that had cared for him so long ago.
"I'm sorry I'm so weird..." he spoke softly, leaning in swiftly and kissing Muraki right over his false eye, smiling so very kindly.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:34 pm
Kazutaka immediately let Tsuzuki go and sat back in his chair, watching the shinigami warily.
"Look, even though you know me and... and know all about my past and my grandfather and hell, even about things that my amnesia has forgotten... doesn't mean you can kiss me."
He was on edge slightly, strangely not possessing the same seme personality that Tsuzuki would have remembered.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:44 pm
The way Muraki was behaving...the way he didn't want to be touched or kissed, the way he spoke, the way he looked even...well, it made
Tsuzuki think and feel things he didn't even think he was capable of.
"Perhaps I shouldn't..." he was suddenly daring, "But I can."
As if he were a completely different person all of a sudden, he claimed Muraki's lips in a fiery kiss, something he had never done to anyone, man or woman, in all his days.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:08 pm
(((OOC: RUN! TSUZUKI IS POSSESSED!)))
~ ~ ~
At first, Kazutaka tried to push Tsuzuki away.
But strangely... the shinigami seemed stronger than him.
'Of course he's stronger. He's dead!' the doctor's mind whirled.
Then.... he simply gave in and stopped fighting the shinigami. He didn't exactly kiss Tsuzuki back, but he did allow it...
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:19 pm
It really was as it Tsuzuki had been taken over by something other than himself, though that wasn't the case. The shinigami simply had found a part of himself that hadn't been used before.
Maybe it was his way of coping with how Muraki had treated him in the past. Reclaiming control, in a sense.
Either way, it was a subconscious drive that was pushing him.
Tsuzuki was unable to stop himself. The way he felt...it was as if he had just taken a bite of the most delicious apple pie of his life.
Without hesitation, regardless of how Muraki felt, he plunged his tongue into Muraki's mouth.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:42 pm
The sudden heat that ran through Kazutaka's body was distracting.
Try as he might, Muraki really couldn't summon the will to push Tsuzuki away.
Instead, he leaned back against the chair, twining his own tongue with that of the shinigami.
It felt good...
Right somehow...
But the doctor couldn't really understand why.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:12 am
More more more more more more... was the only thing going through Tsuzuki's mind at the moment. Muraki had begun to react to his kisses, and that pushed the shinigami to a whole new level. He wrapped one arm behind the doctor's back, holding him tightly, lovingly and protectively. The other hand caressed the doctor's snowy pale skin, running up and down his jawline his tongue still dancing with the other man's.
Tsuzuki told himself this was ok. It wasn't a betrayal of his friends...this was a different person. This Muraki...he was good, he was right.
This was his second chance. The Muraki before him now...it was Tsuzuki's chance to be with the Muraki-sensei that he had left behind. It was his redemption. It was his destiny.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:37 am
Pale skin became flushed with a soft crimson blush as Kazutaka wound his arms around Tsuzuki's lower back and hips.
This was familiar...
Somehow...
But... but why?
"Saki... Saki this isn't right..." Kazutaka whispered, looking up at the young man who was hovering over him.
Saki smirked darkly, "But it is, Kazu... just think... it will be the two of us forever... together..."
With a gasp and a flush of pleasure, Muraki's lips were claimed bu those of his own brother.
Was that why?
It couldn't be, but Muraki only remembered ever kissing two men in his life.
Shidou Saki... and Mibu Oriya.
With Oriya, it had always been a comfort... something that happened whenever Kazutaka could escape the grasp of Saki.
But with his brother...
Pulling back slightly, Kazutaka shook his head. "Tsuzuki-san, this isn't right..." he whispered, grey eyes focused on the shinigami. "I... I don't even know you..."
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:49 am
Tsuzuki tilted his head slightly, listening to what Muraki had to say. He frowned slightly.
"But...this is more than right. You can't tell me you don't feel anything with me...you have to." his gaze was one of need and desperation...and love.
"Kazutaka..." he used the man's given name, "I love you. This is what I've been searching for, longing for. You...you're alright now. Whatever happened...you're ok. You're a good man, and I love you. I need you..." he trailed off, kissing the man again, refusing to let his one chance leave him.
The words he had spoken might have been sudden and needy, but they were full of sincerity.
Whatever had gone on in Tsuzuki's mind...it didn't matter. He truly did care for Muraki, however sudden it was. Even if he was projecting his past onto the present...even if it was all a way to try to heal old wounds...the shinigami damn well meant it.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:03 am
"No, please, Tsuzuki-sa...." but Muraki couldn't even finish the sentence.
His lips were claimed by the shinigami once again.
He couldn't exactly fight the stronger man, and so Kazutaka found himself pressed back against the seat once more, tongues twined together.
'I don't love him...' the doctor thought to himself. 'This isn't right... I don't know him... I've only just met him. How? Why does he think he can love me after everything he's said I've done... aren't I.... aren't I a monster to him?'
Without realizing it, Muraki was crying silently.
(((OOC: GOD HE FEELS SO OOC!!! *falls over* But there's a reason... really... trust me... he's not OOC just so he can make out with Tsuzuki. I SWEAR!!!)))
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:13 pm
Heavenly was the only word Tsuzuki could think of to describe the sensation of tongues battling, two men with dark pasts clashing in such an unusual fashion.
Muraki tasted so good...like the finest green tea.
It was when he pulled back to gauge Muraki's reaction that it hit him. He had hoped that maybe Muraki understood, possibly remembered something, or wanted this in some fashion...but what he saw were tears.
It was just like the first day they had met, Muraki in the church, kneeling in front of the stained glass. He had turned around, a single tear fell from that beautiful eye. Thinking back, Tsuzuki was amazed he hadn't recognized Muraki, seeing as he resembled his grandfather so much, but it was probably just another one of those things he didn't want to remember.
What hurt him though, was knowing that somehow, because of his own selfishness, he had made this man cry.
If Tsuzuki got any more horrible, he would surely kill himself, again.
Why was it no matter what he attempted, he always wound up making thins so terrible?
Always....
He moved back, running his fingers underneath the pale doctor's eye, catching a tear as it fell.
"I've done it again...I've made you cry." the look on his face was pitiful.
"Just like the day I met you..." he mused, "You were praying in a church, praying to meet me. You were crying then...because of me..."
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