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 Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:37 pm
"No..." Carlos' shoulders slumped and he dropped his gaze. "I don't want you to leave Adrian..." He looked at his toes and fidgeted, hugging his knees to his chest. It was the only thing he could think to hug. Then he saw his little plushie tossed among the covers and grabbed it, hugging that instead. "Um, I'm actually glad you said those things... I don't like what you did, but you stood up for me..."
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:47 pm
Adrian stood with his back to the unicat so he didn't see how Carlos was sitting. "Of course I stood up for you. Very few people deserve to be treated the way that guy treated you, but you aren't one of those people." The rat was kind of shocked that Carlos wanted him to stay, just like Jimi said. "Why do you want me to stay? You're not safe around me Carlos, no one is, as I proved to myself, and those around, today."
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:02 pm
Carlos wanted to say they would work through it... but he had no idea how they could do that, or if Adrian even wanted him to "help," however that might be. But the way it had happened in the past, Carlos had not been in evidence whenever Adrian really lost his temper. Maybe that was just how it had to be... Adrian would get in trouble and Carlos would be there to help him pick up the pieces. It did not sound like a good plan though.
He studied the plushie in his hands and frowned. His voice was very quiet when he spoke, as if to say it loudly would bring the walls crashing around them. "Well... I love you Adrian... I don't know what to do or say... or how to help, if you even want me to... but I do know that. And that's why I don't want you to go." He did not dare look up. If he did, tears would fall... and he knew Adrian wouldn't want to see that.
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:11 pm
Adrian stiffened a little when Carlos said those three words that mean so much; the rat let it slide, since 1) he didn't want to blow up at the unicat after hurting him, and 2) Adrian knew that the younger anthro was telling the truth, after all Adrian had put him through, he never left the rat's side, except for that one year, and that was for a good reason.
He turned around and walked over to the bed. The sat down next to Carlos and lifted the unicat's head, so he could look Carlos in the eye. "I love you too," he said in a whisper that only the unicat could hear, in case someone was listening at the door or something. He felt it was time for Carlos to know that he loved him, after bearing his soul to Jimi, it felt right. He let the other go and looked down at his hands. "Which is why I think you would be better off with someone who doesn't have a high risk of hurting you, physically or emotionally." That was probably the hardest thing Adrian has ever had to say to Carlos, more so even than 'I love you.'
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:57 pm
Once Adrian lifted his head, Carlos did not take his eyes off of him. His eyes widened in surprise when the rat reciprocated his feelings... he almost flung himself at Adrian, but hesitated when the other looked down and continued. "What?! No! You can't say that." He rose up on his knees, almost afraid to speak up but he just had to. "After all we've been through you want to give up just like that? What about that whole year we didn't see each other? Doesn't all that mean anything? Can't we just try harder?"
Try? Do what? Work on what? He had no idea... but they couldn't just drop it out of the blue... Well, sort of. This was their first time seeing each other in a year... but...
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:08 am
Adrian looked back up at Carlos. "Of course it meant something! It made me realize just how much you mean to me, just how bad my life could get without you. But today, I know that if something like that ever happened again, if I ever hit you again, I could never live with myself, heck, your dad wouldn't let me live with myself if I hit you again. I can try to change, but that doesn't gurantee your safety. Carlos, when I found out I hit you today, my world fell apart, because I realized just how much me and the guy that hurt me are alike. I don't want you to go through what I did, to become someone like me. You are so much better than that; you can do so much better than me. Any guy would be stupid to hurt such a great person the way I have. I'm really sorry, Carlos, but I'm not sure if I can risk hurting you again. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, letting you go. You deserve someone who will care for you, who you don't have to watch what you do or say around for fear of getting yelled at, or worse, hit." The rat was trying to be strong, but the more he spoke, the harder it became to not cry. "I love you more than words can say, which is why, no matter how much this is hurting me, I have to let you go; I don't want to, I really don't, but I can't think of any other way to keep you safe from me."
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:46 am
"But... But..." That was all he could think to say. Perhaps the fact that he was actually unharmed was moot. Should not today serve as a lesson, not as a barrier from progressing through life? He did not understand how, if he was once treated the way he acts now, he should not change - or even prevented it from ever happening! Tears flowed down his cheeks unnoticed, even though he could no longer see. "You should still try to change yourself!" he choked out. "This shouldn't keep you from trying! You mess up you keep trying... because if you don't, there's nothing."
He looked up and rubbed his eyes, finally clearing them of tears. He had to see. "Is there anything that will make you change your mind?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:57 am
Adrian pulled Carlos into a hug. "I will still try to change myself. I just think you will be safer if I do that away from you." The rat didn't want to leave Carlos, really he didn't, but he didn't know what else to do.
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:10 pm
Carlos hugged Adrian tightly, then remembering his injuries eased up. The rat's shirt was still on the bed so he had nothing to cling to and bunched his fists instead. After several moments the unicat looked back up at him. "Will you come back? I'll wait..." What was one more year if his rat came back to him?
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:53 pm
The rat hissed a little when Carlos squeezed him a little too tight. Adrian looked down at Carlos. "You really don't want me to go, do you?" he asked. He kissed the top of the unicat's head and continued to hold him.
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:14 pm
Carlos nuzzled into his shoulder ears flattened back against his head, then leaned his cheek there so he could speak. "First day seeing you in a year and you're going to leave... I've missed you so much. I mean, I know that you have to do this. But that doesn't mean we can't see each other again, right?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:26 pm
The rat hissed slightly when Carlos hugged him tightly, making his wounds sting. "I've missed you too." Adrian sighed, maybe he didn't have to leave Carlos, maybe they could still see each other, as long as the stupid coon, or anyone, doesn't do anything to upset the rat as much as he did today. "Well, maybe I don't have to leave completely...I guess we could still see each other, as long as someone doesn't do what that coon did today when we're together. Only if you want to that is, and are willing to take the risk. Also, if I ever hurt you physically again, I'll leave and you have to promise not to beg me to stay, got it?" he said. All his efforts to leave the unicat failed when Carlos looked so...heartbroken at the thought of him leaving, it works on Adrian when the unicat does it for a few minutes.
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:11 pm
Carlos frowned slightly as he listened to Adrian. Was he suggesting that he was going to ignore what happened today, as if nothing happened? It did not sound right at all. He pushed away from the rat lightly, shaking his head. "No... you can't pretend like nothing happened. That would be wrong." Carlos rose up on his toes nimbly, moving so as not to rock the bed. He found the rat's shirt in the mess of bedding and picked it up. "You need to learn to live with it or to work with it or something! Whatever is going to work for you. But you have to do this or nothing will ever get better. Maybe I'll be a distraction to you... you need this time to get control of yourself."
He turned back to Adrian and offered the rat's shirt back to him. He smiled and rubbed a stray tear out of the corner of his eye. "But like I said. I will wait... I know this won't happen overnight, or weeks or a month from now. Maybe things will be different when we meet again, but we'll figure 'us' out then. Now you need to figure 'you' out."
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:20 pm
"I'll never forget what happened today." Adrian shook his head and handed the shirt back to Carlos. "Keep it, I know you like it." He stood up and looked back at the unicat. "Then I guess this is good-bye." He headed towards the door, looking back once more at Carlos. "I'll miss you," he said in a whisper before finally leaving.
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vampire werewolf fangirl2
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:39 pm
Carlos gazed at the doorway long after Adrian had left. He had said nothing; the way Adrian had said good-by seemed so final. And what he wanted to say spun around in his head. He looked down and stared at the shirt. He's really gone... he realized before collapsing on his bed, weeping bitterly.
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