Welcome to Gaia! ::

It's not even like an entire friggin art shop! Just a commission thread....and I'm already up til 3 am setting it up. @_@'

Damn my perfectionism...

LPS Could you check see make sure everything is Guildie-okie? link

Should I add a Rules category, for posterity's sake? Plus also, since art likely won't stay in the guild, I wouldn't want Content issues being traced back to a guild thread where no rules were posted....buuuuuut....

Most of us anyway. wink

I promise people who are sad that everything will be okay. I have been doing that a lot recently and it makes me feel good to do that because it feels like it makes them feel better. My mom did that for me all the time when I was little and I am sure her mom did that for her. My grandma is still sad most of the time though, and so is my mom. Things never got better for them. Everyone in my family has died before everything was okay. Nothing ever gotten better. I am starting to realize that no matter what my outlook is or how good I pretend to feel nothing is actually better about me. No matter how much I improve or if I stop trying to improve it doesn't really make a difference. What if I follow my dreams? What if I don't? Nothing will really change. What if I keep trying to help people? They will find out I am lying eventually. That I am not really okay even with the exercise and the sleep and the therapy. They will still be sad just like I still am. I only ever hurt by trying. I am starting to realize that not only can one person not make a difference, but not even everybody can. It is overwhelming how hopeless it is. It is the single most daunting thought. There is no joy or fear. It is just how life is. There is nothing that can happen that will change that and it will never get better. Worst of all all of the ways I have tried to give my life a purpose are futile. to help the world, to make things better, to try to enjoy myself why I am here. There is nothing because none of it will get better. It is hard to keep lying about it to myself and others.

I guess that all depends on one question.

What do you think matters?

If you say nothing matters, then you're completely right. Way to go. Don't care anymore.

But if you say that some things do matter, then you're wrong and just need to keep going.

While I might not matter in the grand scheme of things, what I do might mean the world to one person. My goal in life is to become the type of person who matters to at least one other person. I want to be the person that makes a positive impact on someone because of my actions and personality. And I will live to change that one person's life.

Owwin, I hope you can figure things out. Maybe what I say is helpful to you, but if it's not, then I hope you find someone or something that does help.

Owwin, I think the fact that you're trying to make people feel better is a positive impact on its own. If I felt down and you said it would all get better, I mean, at the very least, I know that one person is sharing some optimism, and that would feel good. You show that you care, and human nature is that people want to be cared about.

wtf med now it's all expensive

Augh, dude.