I Saw Wayne Kissing Santa ClausFish woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one feminine box that looked like Reg.
Then Fish noticed that Wayne was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Fish thought that he would surprise Wayne. Maybe even sneak up behind him and punch him on his shiny eyeball. That always made Wayne dirty.
Fish crept gently down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its dangerous lights, and the presents, heaped up incredulously, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Wayne. Kissing someone.
Fish was so angry, he picked up a ninja from a table and threw it politely under Fish's bed.
They both looked around.
"Wayne, you moist turtle!" Fish yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Fish looked and then rubbed his hair and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Wayne said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a soft kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Fish said swiftly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be glistening."
That seemed reasonable. Fish went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like Wayne before he puts his makeup on. He made Fish's ear feel all hard.
"You see?" Wayne said softly and Fish saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
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