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Padme- Ani, I'm pregnant.

Anikan- Padme, we're screwed.

Luke- *Moans and Groans*

Obi-Wan- His hand is still injured. Don't be so difficult with the kid, Master.

Yoda- I once fought for three days with an arrow in my testicle.

Obi-Wan-...... How old are you?! gonk

Vader- *walks into the bridge* Alright, who left the toilet seat up again?

Crew-..................

Vader-....... anyone?

((I sure hope I spell the raporan names right))

Executive: I'm sorry, but we just think you look too scary.

Caldra: WHAT? YOU JUST LIKE THAT LITTLE LIZARD BECAUSE HE'S GOT AN AUSTRAILIAN ACCENT!

Executive: True, and in america, accents are considered very alluring. You are just not what we're looking for.

Caldra: ARGG! *stomps out into the waiting room*

Revak: I take it we didn't get the job?

Caldra: *disgruntled* no...

Revak: Due to the accent?

Caldra: yea... Its so unfair...

Revak: Oh come on. You like it too. You gave him your number.

Caldra: Well, yeah, I guess so...

Revak: So when's the wedding?

*Cantrosian jedi jumps into the middle of a bunce of stormies.*
cantrosian Jedi: NEDM
*Ignites lightsaber while Doom music starts playing and kills everyone.*

Random fan: You know, if I had to do it all over again, I'd do Star Wars. I'd have Robin williams do Star Wars. Nobody else, just Robin williams.

Written by: Robin Williams
Starring: Robin Williams
Directed by: Quentin Tarentino.

Okay, here it goes!

Bib Fortuna: Master, he's here to see you...

Robin: *stares in amazement* Oh my God! What a wonderfully incredible
place! Who the hell does your decorating?

Jabba: You fool! Hes using an old jedi mind trick!

Robin: Oooh, tad cranky. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the slab. At least you're not tied down, nosiree! There was once when I was tied to this one slab that had a slow burning laser coming right up to cut me in half. Tatooine flashback: I was just minding my own buisness, huskin' tuskin if you know what I mean, little jawa peckers, fu'kin' peckerheads. Anyways bakc on track, I was sitting there going "Help me! Heellppp meee!" and poof! what do you know? You should have seen the old fart, "Come with me to alderaan, come with me to alderaan", woah, Grumpy old men with Jack lemon make it Part two. Ohmygodoldpeopleoddcouplenothatfunnybutwe'lltrytomakeitanyway. and we're dancing and we're back..

At the local cantina, one particular jedi wanderer had a few too many juma juices. A few girls managed to convince him to karaoke...

Link...

A looong.... looong, time ago,
In Hyrule so far away
The Great Deku was... under attack.

So I thought me and Navi
Could try and save that Sacred Tree
But we met Mido
And he was a jerk.

His response, it didn't thrill us
Told us to #$@! off or he'd $#@!ing kill us
But we got passed that jack-a**;
Got to the tree and saved it fast.

And then we learned the aweful truth;
That tree had lost its lasting youth
It was doomed; it would soon die:
All because of...

Oh my, my, this here Ganondorf guy
Rode his black horse, stole the Triforce, then he darkened the sky.
He left his home, told Twinrova goodbye, saying someday I'll be the bad guy...

Oh do you know this desert knave?!
Who's got a hundred women to his name
But they don't like him anyway
Because he's mean...

And did you see him persuading the king
Though one is rich and the other is mean
But I think he'll beat him some day...

So we went on down to Mt. Doom
Got some bombs that go kaboom
And we were stuck as true.
So we made a deal or two-ooh!

Kill Dodongo; get the gem
Go to Zora's Domain and do-it-again
And we got engaged to a fish...
And I'm gonna kill that son-of-a-$#@!%
Because it was all.... his fault!

We started singing!
My my, this here Ganondorf guy.
Rode his black horse, stole the Triforce, then he darkened the sky.
He left his home, told Twinrova goodbye,
Saying someday I'll be the bad guy.

So we finally got those fricken stones
Just to prove that we could OWN
We did all this, just like she would want,
And sometimes I ask: was it worth these daunts?

So we went on back to the temple
It had all seemed kind of simple,
Naturally, we thought we did well...
..till Ganon came out liek a bat-out-of-hell.

So 'obviously', Ganon was astute
Since he chased after Zelda while,
She threw us the flute.

And, following her orders, we opened the door
The Door of Time
And inside we saw, this treasure of thine;
An ancient, shining silver sword
That as we pulled, we heard a chord...
then darkness...

Oh my my
This here Ganondorf guy
Rode his black horse, stole the Triforce, then he darkened the sky.
He left his home, told Twinrova goodbye
Saying someday I'll be the bad guy

And boy was I surprised
To see myself gro and rise
And see my sword reach new lengths.
And Navi of course, was of a jealous sort
But old man Rauru told us not to fear
For we had been asleep for seven years.

So we set out on a new quest
Gather medallions; that was our test
To prove that we were the best...

So we set out to see the temples
This guy named Sheik had really big nipples
And I had a few questions to say...

But Ganon came and kidnapped Sheik
Because it turned out he was a freak
For he had been Zelda the whole tiiiiiii-eieieieime

And in the end, some monsters died
It was over, and so I sighed.
Ganon, was croaking
His tower was broken

And the sword that I had hated most
We stuck in Ganon, and now he's toast.
I'm alive
And the future's a ghost.

Oh my my, this here Ganondorf guy
Rode his black horse, stole the Triforce, then he darkened the sky
He left his home, told Twinrova goodbye,
Saying I was once the bad guy...

Oh oh oh...

I was once the bad guy...

(My tribute to Zelda, Weird Al, and American Pie. Those aren't the exact lyrics I came up with, but they're close.)