Welcome to Gaia! ::

You simply bother me.

Don't tell me how much you care about me and then let something like this happen, and then shrug it off because you're not the one being dicked when you're the only one with the power to stop it from happening. That's just a slap in the face. You really are the lowest of the low. I can't believe I trusted you for even an instant.

Don't worry about me trying to get you back, because I won't. The girl I fell in love with, the one whose affection I could feel in her words and nearly died when I saw it in her deep, beautiful brown eyes is gone. I want to say I don't know who you are, but I do. You're the one she was afraid would come out. You're the one that made her keep her distance, the one she repeatedly told me she was contrary to all evidence.

I thought I could keep you at bay, I guess I was probably stupid enough to think that my love could kill you, that I could win and bask in the love of that incredible girl with the big dreams and the fire to ******** up anyone who stood between her and them. The one that sold me on this city, who opened her heart and arms to me when I returned to see her.

Beyond the love, the lust, the longing, the kisses, and late night NSFW chatter, she was the closest friend I ever had. She poked and prodded at something deep inside me straining to get out, something she inspired me to drag out and let shine. My whole life I succeeded in spite of people's expectations until I met her, at which point I got to feel what it was like to succeed to fulfill someone's belief in me.

You worry me, you scare me, and you feel cold. Even so, I want to get to know you. You might not be her, but I always saw you there, the cold hard stone at the bottom of a beautiful, glistening pool. I may have overstated my case when I told you my heart would always belong to her, but she's got my left ventricle at the very least. I owe it to her for awakening all this inside me to give you a chance. I still believe in you and all that fire beating in that deceptively little body of yours. I don't want you to slide any farther away from your dreams and into entropy. You've fought so hard and come so far that you deserve to shine. I'll never abandon you because once upon a time when I was staring straight into an implacable abyss I heard five words that forced me to blink and step back, "I still believe in you."

UGH!

Why don't you act like the grown up you claim you are and accept responsibility for your decisions. It's not OUR fault you made bad choices, so stop trying to blame us.

Stop nitpicking the easy parts of my presentation just to try to show off how smart and involved you are. Why don't you just finish up your own crap instead? I don't care what you say anymore but what you want to change my slides to is moronic at best and I would be embarrassed to be seen anywhere near those slides. If you guys are going to make me do this because I'm the only one qualified then don't F with what I've written. Oh, and your understanding of probability is at a high school level at best.

I tried to be nice and encouraging but apparently that's just a license for you guys to argue over nonsense. Haven't you ever read about the bike shed? No more Mrs. Nice Keys. From now until the presentation, it's beat down time. Quantum beat down time.

I'm not the biggest believer in karma, but sometimes you really do just reap what you sow.

Yes, life sucks sometimes. But we all have dealt with amazingly hard things before. You're not the only one who hurts so much. Instead of complaining, try to grow a backbone and move on in life. I promise it's easier than you think, and much better than wallowing in self-pity.

And to ze boyfriend, I hope you cut down in your WoW time once we move. Or let's compromise a bit; let's go out one day and stay in doing our own things another. And it's not difficult to notice when someone's crying.
I'm really trying to not mess things up.

People are allowed to like things you dislike.
People are allowed to dislike things you like.
People are allowed to like people you dislike.
It is only a given that people dislike you.

You're out of my life now, mostly, but I still have to see you nearly every day, and hear about your issues from friends of mine who are friends with friends of yours -- it is the most unbelievably immature thing to yell at your friend for saying hello to someone you don't like. What are you, 3?

Here's a hint: TWO people left the group of friends you're in.. we both like mostly everyone else there.. still on good terms with most of them.. it's just you. You're a controlling a*****e and you can't accept that people have opinions that differ from yours.

Have fun getting along in the real world. b*****d.