Welcome to Gaia! ::

I knew we wouldnt be together forever, but i had hoped it would last...

I rested my arms on the edge of the coffin and peered in. She looked so peaceful, and for a second i convinced myself that maybe she was just sleeping - but by simply brushing ym hand across her cheek the cold skin brought reality flooding back. Tears welled up in my eyes. I turned away and let them roll down my face. My nights had merged with my days, and sleep was now nothing more than a dormant memory. My bed had lain untouched since the accident.

I slumped back and fell on the couch with my head cradled in my arms. The visions hadn't left me and i could see her face in my mind - as she was trying to accept the bitter truth. her last moments were peaceful as she lay bleeding in my arms. Her breathing was panicky at first, but the closer to death she got, the slower her breath. Right at that moment i had wished to die right there with her, but i had to see her to the end.

She didnt die alone - if she had id never have forgiven myself. Even now she's gone it all just doesn't seem real. Drugs made little difference - all they did was distract me for a while but nothign took the true pain away.....nothing ever would. All that i had now was the lifeless corpse of a lover now lost and memories clutched so tightly. No point in brooding any longer, for now i needed a chance to think.

I went out driving and it was so quiet on the roads. Most people asleep or somewhere doing something else, anything else, just doing something that made me so alone on the road - my CD player ringing out something i felt would fit my mood.

I drove until i ran out of city and there was nothing now but darkness and the open sky full fo stars twinkling so sweetly at me. Id found somewhere slightly off the beaten track and stopped the car. It was quiet here, but not silent. I could hear the drone of of distant cars and nature everywhere... No city lights here to pollute my view of those mysterious stars.

I took some cider from the boot, and retrieved soem cigarettes from my jacket pocket - then slowly climbed onto the roof of the car. As i lay down to look at the stars i realised i felt sade. I felt like she was watching me. And there she was dancing in my minds eye. I could see her amongst the stars and she smiled at e. I smiled in return. There i could see her as clear as day. It wasnt just a memory - she was there. I stretched out my hand to reach for her and she reached out towards me too. For a second the loss i was in agony over seemed like a dream. Slowly she pulled her hand back and blew me a kiss. I soflty whispered her name and she smiled again, her beautiful face a picture of beauty painted by me. She gently turned and faded from my vision.....now i felt completely alone.

I slid from the roof to the bonnet and sat gazing at the stars again. My watch told me id only been on the roof for 10 minutes. I got back into the car and roared the engine to a start. Distraught thoughts took over, i drank the cider as fast as i could and threw the empty bottle out of the window. Not caring where it landed. Five more minutes passed before i decided to start driving - just to make sure the alcohol was in my blood.

I turned the car around and sped back the way i came, racing hard towards the city. Soon the countryside died from sight, and all that was left in my vision was this filthy hollow shell of a city. My driving wast exactly at its best and i found myself veering from side to side. If i listened hard enough i thought i could almost hear her voice. It grew louder and louder until i turned to the passenger seat. There she was with the window rolled right down, hair blowing in the wind, one arm leant gracefully into the air. I said nothing and she neednt have said a word - her eyes said it all. She still seemed peaceful, i stretched a hand over and touched her cheek. It was warm and the car was full of her perfume.

"Your a star now baby" I told her. She smiled at me softly, and before i could take one more glimpse at her everything went black.

Burning, that asphyxiating smell of plastic and metal merging in molten matrimony. Metallic taste in my mouth.....tastes like blood.....theres a ringing in my ears.....a pain in my head.....

I opened my eyes to the passenger seat but she was gone. I struggled free from the grips of the burning car and fled to the nearest place i saw. It just happened to be a bar.

I found that i had run to a certain bar, the bar where we first met - how funny fate had brought me back here. I had returned a different person. These open wounds of mine bright signals of my state of mind.

Cleaning myself up seemed stranger. i had been in here two years ago doing the same thing. There was no permanent damage, i had just burst a vein in my nose. I finished off and wandered out of the bathroom and over to the bar. The drink to my throat was a godsend. A provider of some sort of relief from my demons.
Someone was watching me - i could feel their eyes on the side of my face. The smell of perfume came over me again and i knew who it was, i turned and there she was, just as she had been when id first lain eyes on her two years ago. She was playing hard to get and i was playing chase. Id bought her a drink to break the ice, but that hadnt worked as well as id hoped it would.

She took the drink from my hands and turned away. I chased her still and eventually i caught my beautiful prey. And it was from their our relationship grew.

It always seemed to me that when we were together i was the lucky one, never really realised how lucky i was. Like the old saying goes

"You never truly know what you have until youve lost it...."

You only question existence and your life for so long and then you decide its not worth it. she made me who i was - i lived and breathed for her. Now she was gone what did i have to live for? The answer.....nothing.....

Outside fire engines had shown up fighting against the fire i had crawled from. the police were questioning people so i crept out of sight. Walking these tattered streets, this hostile environment showed no mercy - why should it have? after all my life is nothing in the scale of things. But with her it never felt like that - each new day was a blessing. Lonliness causes people to think strangely, and if you only knew what its like to be a loner, youd soon see things in a different light - though few ever do. No words could shape the depths of my mind. i always was a dreamer.

But now i knew how awake i really was, how harsh reality can be.....The alleyway around me towered way above my head, piercing the sky with its bland peaks. Slumping to the floor i watched all the people scurry around for a better look at the burning car.

Turning, i looked to see what was going on the other side of the alley. Singing, i could hear singing.....her singing.....She sat swinging her legs atop a bench down there. She wasnt looking at me, i never could tell if she was able to sense me coming.

Before i reached her she slid off the bench and walked aorund the corner, but even though i was running as fast as i could - somehow i couldnt catch up with her. Now that she was no longer in sight i followed her singing around the corner. I recognised the song. It was "our" song, one we often sang to each other. And her voice, oh her voice.....some indecribable beauty like liquid mercury. Something so beautiful that you could fall in love with a single note, Memories did it no justice.

She finished a line and i sang the next one back. Giggling, she turned around and then stood frozen. I had caught up, and my chest was in agony. Breathing became very difficult. I placed my hand on her shoulder, she placed her hand on mine. Her hair, her clothes, everything.....she was wearing just what she had on the day of the accident.

Not many words were exchanged. She lay dying and i had wrapped myself around her. In her eyes i saw fear - she was afraid, but since i was there she found it easier to accept the truth. I had wanted so badly to just stay with her next to me, but reality was winning. Those final few moments werent long enough, though im glad of them. I had never felt a pain like this before. My reason for living was slipping from my grasp and there was nothing i could do about it.

She had decided to go for a walk just to get some fresh air. I didnt go with her as i wanted to stay in and work on a script i had been writing. No sooner had she stepped out of the front door than a shard of loose metal from a passing haulage vehicle struck her in the chest. She crumpled to the ground and screamed. I heard her cries, and my heart sunk straight through the floor. I raced down to where she lay and the sight that greeted my eyes shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I got to her before the crowd did and i held her. She told me she loved me and those were the last words i heard. i had insisted that she be left in her coffin in our sitting room. I wished to mourn her in peace. She had died, and my whole world died with her. That was just two days ago.

She fluttered her eyes, walked around me and put her arms around my shoulders. I turned to dace her, but as i tried to put my arms around her she slipped out of reach and dissappeared again. It was dark and for the first time in my life i looked up and saw the stars within the city. They were just as beautiful as i ever remembered them.

As i walked home my mind was full of thought. Was this whole thing fate? Or some bizarre coincidental irony set to hurt me? I switched my body to auto pilot to lead me home. It was a path i had walked so often that the route home was imprinted on my brain. I was lost in my thoughts and away in a world of my own. It thought of how she died, it all seemed like a freak accident and i suppose it was. But was it fate? How could this have been meant to happen or did it happen so that something else could happen?

I was nearly home by now and my apartment loomed over me. Looking down i noticed that i was standing in the spot, the exact spot, where she had died. I stepped back and knelt down next to her. She was sitting on the steps crying, and i tried to comfort her. She looked at me directly into my eyes and whispered into my ear

"i miss you"

I told her the same and she smiled through her tears.

She stood up and walked upstairs towards the apartment, so i followed her. As i reached the door, i found it open - her keys still in the lock. I took them out and looked through the flat for her. After a short while i knew where she was.

The smell of perfume was coming from the sitting room - it was the perfume she had always worn. I pushed the door gently and let it drift open. Inside, the coffin still lay undisturbed in the centre of the room. Breathing in deeply i filled my lungs with her scent. She was in this room with me, I was safer here than i was anywhere else in the world.

On the table beside the coffin lay a few bottles of painkillers. I hadnt put them there, but i knew she had. I looked at her in the coffin, again she lay apparently "sleeping"

So i swallowed all the pills with some vodka to wash them down. i returned to the coffin and peered in - her eyes were open and she was smiling. She beckoned me to her and i climbed up to the coffin. She stretched her arms out and put them around my neck, and i lay down in the coffin with her - held in her ever tightening grip. Softly, she kissed me on the cheek. I closed my eyes and sank down into her warm embrace. And with my last breath i gave her my life. Now im going with her.....to walk amongst the stars.

I just thought this convo was funny..

Rwa0225: *b***h slap*
AVR0219: Like you slapped me!
AVR0219: You ******** ho
AVR0219: Ima beat your p***y up
Rwa0225: WHORE*!!!
Rwa0225: wait to you see my d**k
AVR0219: Ho
AVR0219: You aint got one
AVR0219: OOOOOOOOO
Rwa0225: i have to tuck it in soi can earn my money by people thinking ima girl
AVR0219: ..........
AVR0219: EW
AVR0219: Mr. Garison!
AVR0219: From South Park
Rwa0225: oh
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: You saw that episode?
Rwa0225: no but hes always dressed as a girl so it is kinda obvious
AVR0219: Yea He got a sex change
AVR0219: Anywayz. what's good in da hood with El Mexicans
Rwa0225: you wish
Rwa0225: i actually havnt seen a mexican in a while only the ppl at my school
AVR0219: YEa the one you stole the cookies from
AVR0219: Theif
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: You talked to anyone
AVR0219: Anything interesting happen?
Rwa0225: hmmm
Rwa0225: not that i know of
Rwa0225: school is almost over b***h!!
AVR0219: Ah
AVR0219: When does school end for you?
Rwa0225: 1 month 1 week and 6 days
AVR0219: HO
Rwa0225: june 1st
AVR0219: I ATETH ON YE
AVR0219: HATETH*
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: But your attitude stank, so sit on that. HAAAAAAA-YY Twins
Rwa0225: i was like huh?
lol
AVR0219: Yea but on lyrics.com they have "HAAAA"
AVR0219: Oh shiz
Rwa0225: i hate the ying yang twins
AVR0219: You mean ><
AVR0219: My bad
AVR0219: Why?
AVR0219: Or they're ugly
AVR0219: Yea I can't look at them
Rwa0225: i hate the way they talk
Rwa0225: haaaaaaaa
AVR0219: I KNOW!
AVR0219: They degrade women
AVR0219: But I can't help it, when I hear they're songs, I gotta shake meh booteeeey yo
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: i HATE lil jon more
AVR0219: Yea
AVR0219: Ok
AVR0219: What
AVR0219: He acts like he's about lay down the hottest rap but he never does
AVR0219: Just repeats the same shiz
Rwa0225: and hes in everyones songs
AVR0219: I KNOW!
AVR0219: HE NEEDS TO GET SHOT!
Rwa0225: i think he did
Rwa0225: but he didnt die
Rwa0225: just like fiddy
AVR0219: ******** yo
AVR0219: He needs to get shot in his teeth
AVR0219: Tryin get crunk with only three words
AVR0219: what a disgrace
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: what?!
AVR0219: OK!?
AVR0219: YEA!?
AVR0219: Yo, If you ever come back here, we needs to go da clubs and get crunk
AVR0219: Show those people how us hispanics drop bows
Rwa0225: holla!
AVR0219: HAAAAAAA
Rwa0225: ok!
AVR0219: Omg that would hilarious
AVR0219: Then if a girl gets in our face we be like "Snap Snap, Yo I'm from Da bronx and PR..Sit down ho."
Rwa0225: we slap that b***h
AVR0219: Yo we ******** her up
AVR0219: Me no care if she black
AVR0219: I'm Pueto Rican, holla
Rwa0225: we beat her up more if she white
Rwa0225: ok!
AVR0219: Hells yea
AVR0219: White bitches ain got shiz on us
Rwa0225: i know
AVR0219: Yo, we sound so stupid
AVR0219: But hott, yo. Snap Snap
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: WESTSIDEEEE
AVR0219: I mean NORTHEASTSIDEEEEEEE
Rwa0225: southside
AVR0219: and for you SOUTHSIIIIDE
Rwa0225: holla!
Rwa0225: me and all ma black ppl from atl
AVR0219: we're such Spiggers
Rwa0225: cause we is
AVR0219: I"m toys r us Kid, Yes I is, You can't be serious, yes I is
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: does jessica still talk to miriam?
AVR0219: Hell no
AVR0219: I saw her today
AVR0219: she always on her cell phone trying to look cool
Rwa0225: TRYING
AVR0219: Exacto, holmes
Rwa0225: thats why she failed 4th grade stupid b***h
Rwa0225: she gots a nasty attitude anyways
AVR0219: She does
AVR0219: that two faced biatch
AVR0219: But anywayz
AVR0219: Let's continueing dreaming about makin an entrance in da clubs
Rwa0225: iight
AVR0219: Cause It would be funny if I got fake nails
Rwa0225: the music be blastin ppl dancin and we walk in
AVR0219: Hoop earrins that say Amanda and the neckalce and matching ring
Rwa0225: and everyone makes room for us to walk in and we be wearin our ****** clothes
AVR0219: and a shirt with the PR flag
AVR0219: I'll look like a s**c yo
AVR0219: Word
Rwa0225: and i gots the yankee hat with the saggy pants the bling around ma neck
AVR0219: We be like, Bitches it's time to make room for A&R
AVR0219: Anyone don't wanna get shot
Rwa0225: we be stylin and profylin
AVR0219: get the ******** out
Rwa0225: thats right b***h run
AVR0219: LMAO
AVR0219: I can't breath
AVR0219: Stylin and proflyn
AVR0219: Ada-ha!
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: and then we look at the DJ and he automatically changes the music to what we like and then ppl be backin up and we be free stylin
Rwa0225: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AVR0219: OHHHH Shiz
AVR0219: we bought drop bo's on them hos
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: We be like "Let the hos in let in the hos in free let em in let em in."
Rwa0225: people be buyin us drinks
AVR0219: Yup the women be all up on you like woah
Rwa0225: and if we dont like we throw them into there face and tello them to get the ******** away for not satisfying our needs
AVR0219: Like "Aye, Papi, You make me so wet."
AVR0219: LMAO
I CAN"t BREATH YO
Rwa0225: and da fellas be walkin away and have things stickin out there pants
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: LMAO
AVR0219: This is hilrarious
AVR0219: I should put this on my website
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: Daddy Yankee yo
AVR0219: Dame mas Gasolina
Rwa0225: das da s**t
Rwa0225: i be gettin crunk when i be listin to that jam
AVR0219: sube la mamabo, pa que me gatas, preden los motores
Rwa0225: A ella le gusta la gasolina
(Dame mas gasolina!)
Como le encanta la gasolina
(Dame mas gasolina!)
A ella le gusta la gasolina
(Dame mas gasolina!)
Como le encanta la gasolina
(Dame mas gasolina!)
AVR0219: Ella preden la turbinas
AVR0219: I don't know the rest..
Rwa0225: me neda
AVR0219: Ada-ha
AVR0219: You and we getting down with Don Omar
AVR0219: Othra, Othra noche, Othra
Rwa0225: nelly furtado is a weird singa
AVR0219: Word
AVR0219: Where is she?
AVR0219: Did she die?
Rwa0225: no
AVR0219: That's it..a no
Rwa0225: idk where she is and she aint dead
AVR0219: It would be weird if she's hybernating
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: I couldn't make a joke
AVR0219: I had to be corny
AVR0219: ahahaha-*Laughter dies down and there is only silence.*
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: do you think mannie would say something bad about me?
AVR0219: Yeeeees
AVR0219: Oh Yes
AVR0219: I believe he would
AVR0219: why?
Rwa0225: has he said anything to you?
AVR0219: No why?
AVR0219: Something wrong in paradise?
Rwa0225: no jw
AVR0219: It's aight
AVR0219: Yo I served with David Diaz today
Rwa0225: cause lilly said that he said he hated me and im always trin to be better then him
AVR0219: And I was remembering what you said
Rwa0225: what did i ssaY?
Rwa0225: but idk if i can belive her
AVR0219: Tell Lilly and Mannie "Sit down hoarz!"
AVR0219: Um You said he was retarded
AVR0219: Mentally challenged
AVR0219: is he really?
AVR0219: He just seems quiet to meh
Rwa0225: yea he is
AVR0219: No heisn't
Rwa0225: he is special ed
Rwa0225: in
AVR0219: That's mean
AVR0219: Though I chuckled instantly
AVR0219: I just asked Jonathan
AVR0219: He said you were right
AVR0219: Plus I did see him get on the cheese bus once
Rwa0225: im right5
AVR0219: He's not speacial Ed though
AVR0219: He takes the age level classes that he's suppose to be in
AVR0219: Like we're suppose to be in 9th grade and we are
Rwa0225: jon is in special ed and he is in 7th grade like he is suppose to
AVR0219: Yea
AVR0219: But he's not in speacial Ed
AVR0219: Jon used to always touch my a**
AVR0219: Remember?
Rwa0225: my brother?
AVR0219: Yea
Rwa0225: no
AVR0219: In third grade
Rwa0225: i dont remember but i remember when you and jonathan duke were going to get married
AVR0219: SHUT UP!
AVR0219: I'm talking to him now actually
AVR0219: I sent his about us in da club
AVR0219: He wa slaughing
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: Him*
AVR0219: AVR0219: How
AVR0219: Give me a situation
AutoManiac911: ok say theres two people altar serving
AutoManiac911: and this is from my experience
AutoManiac911: instead of you doing half the work and him doing half
AutoManiac911: its like he does everything
AutoManiac911: not noticing that theres someone else there
AVR0219: Oh yea
AVR0219: I was kinda happy
AVR0219: I didn't wanna do s**t
AutoManiac911: lol
AVR0219: It's true
AVR0219: Like out of no where he just crosses the alter and I'm like.."W00T!"
AutoManiac911: i know, hes everywhere hes not supposed to be
AVR0219: He's on the ceiling crawling
AutoManiac911: LoL
AVR0219: AVR0219: How
AVR0219: Give me a situation
AutoManiac911: ok say theres two people altar serving
AutoManiac911: and this is from my experience
AutoManiac911: instead of you doing half the work and him doing half
AutoManiac911: its like he does everything
AutoManiac911: not noticing that theres someone else there
AVR0219: Oh yea
AVR0219: I was kinda happy
AVR0219: I didn't wanna do s**t
AutoManiac911: lol

AVR0219: AVR0219: It's true
AVR0219: Like out of no where he just crosses the alter and I'm like.."W00T!"
AutoManiac911: i know, hes everywhere hes not supposed to be
AVR0219: He's on the ceiling crawling
AutoManiac911: LoL
Rwa0225: its true
Rwa0225: he snatches everything from you
AVR0219: He's crawling LOL!
AVR0219: Not literally though
Rwa0225: and he wanted to have a race with me to ring the bells
AVR0219: Ada-ha!
AVR0219: Are you serious?
AVR0219: Who made it first?
Rwa0225: he was runnin so i just stoped cause i know father fagott wouldve said something to me
Rwa0225: i mean father michael
AVR0219: ADA-HA! I CAN'T BEATH!

AVR0219: HO!
Rwa0225: lol
AVR0219: Gawd
AVR0219: you're hilarious
AVR0219: He can't help it
AVR0219: I can imagine you on the alter all pissy
AVR0219: like "Snap Snap Oh hell no!"
Rwa0225: lol
Rwa0225: hold up b***h i want to hold the wine you dumb ********: OH s**t!
AVR0219: ADA-HA!

The last tears caused by him
~~~
Things had gone too far, and it was partly her own fault, but she liked to think it was mostly his. After all, she had tried to make him understand ? but had her words reached him? Or had they just slid in one ear and out the other? She did not know. And most likely she never would, either. But if he had not wanted to listen, how could she have made him? One could lead a horse to water, but one could not make it drink. At least she had tried. And maybe had he, too. Two people on two different wavelengths, not able tp communicate properly. And pride, of course, from them both. Always pride.

Their friendship had been a stormy one, as they both had vicious tempers, and there had never been a dull moment. Sadly, though, there had been many tears ? on both sides, she thought. At least he had claimed she had made him cry too. Did he know he had made her cry? Had he ever really cared?

Tonight had been the final drop, and over something so stupid she threw her head back and laughed so hard her mascara was smudged by tears. Tears from laughter or tears from sadness? Did it even matter anymore? They were going to be the last caused by him, and that made them beautiful. They had fought because she refused to let him read a story she had written! She had refused because it had been in another language, one he did not know, and she had thought that stories deserve more respect than being thrown through an online translator and end up being massacred. He had said something about remembering that the next time he finished a story. Her teeth had bit so hard into her lower lip then that the blood had been running down her chin and throat. It was not that she did not want him to read, it was just that she did not see the point of sending it to him if all he could do was translating it with Babblefish or something similar and thereby butchering her work. His stories were written in a language they both spoke pretty much fluently ? and he would have let him read if she had any stories in English.

And then, he had told her to learn something already ? that it was the thought and not the substance that counted. Her teeth grinded against each other when she thought back to his. A friend was not a teacher. That was something he needed to realise.

Before he lost any more friends.

I like that one dear, tell more of it 3nodding

Wait.. shouldnt that go in the Leviathanisms thread? xd

Beep~…Beep~…Bee, Beep~


The Beat is off…
The very fact that the rhythm was not steady was what brought her around eventually. Crystal hated the sound of the heart monitor and the fact that it was not steady just annoyed the hell out of her.


Beep~…Beep~ Beep ~.Bee, Beep~ Bee, Beep~

The niose was just annoying enough that she started trying to figure out when it would stutter, to find a new pattern to the sound that was keeping her from returning to the blissful silence of sleep. Unfortunately crystal slowly became aware of other things that also kept her from returning to the nothingness.

The slow rasping of her own breaths was steady and uninterrupted as well as a soft regular dripping noise that it occurred to her might bean old fashioned IV… All of Crystal’s thoughts were still slow and far off and so it came to her as quite a surprise when she realized that all she could do besides hear, was think!

It was as if her hearing and brain were disconnected from the rest of her body!

She pondered this for what felt like an eternity, still trying to find the pattern to the heart monitor before she decided to try for more… her eyes… Crystal decided that she would try to open her eyes and see where she was.

Her brain reached out for something that she had never really thought about before… and found nothing… Crystal panicked when she could get no response, she could not even change the sound of her breathing, and with her panic rising something should have changed!

Calm, just stay calm… Perhaps this was just the worst case of sleep paralysis that she had ever experienced before, but her panic kept on telling her that this was actually nothing like sleep paralysis. Normally the part of her body that was paralyzed felt heavy, even if there was no other feeling to it she could still tell it was there by the weight of the limb where it was connected to the rest of her body! But now she literally felt nothing…

Crystal could have cried when a new sound interposed itself on top of the others, a much louder sound that grew even louder by the moment…

Footsteps! She listened very carefully and found that she could tell things apart, one set was very soft and light, another was heavier and had a slight drag to it. There were what sounded like two sets of very heavy, sharp steps, almost like marching, and a fith set that had the same crisp marching quality to it only much lighter, perhaps the difference between wearing boots, and shoes? She pondered over the sounds of the steps until she could actually hear breathing as well, Crystal could never before recall hearing people breathe…

“Here she is Sir…” That was defiantly a mans voice that spoke first as the sounds of the footsteps almost overwhelmed her hearing.

“The surgeries have been very successful thus far and appear to be healing well. We are still having a bit of trouble stabilizing the heart rate but Dr. Alamans assures me that once the final implants are in place he will be able to easily regulate he heart!” Crystal thought it sounded like the same man, and a sound of shuffling papers? It was so hard for her to put names or descriptions to most of the things she was hearing. “But as I stated in my formal report there is still no signs of brain activity…”

What the ********! What the hell did he mean… No Brain Activity? She could hear him, Crystal could actually understand most of what he was talking about, so how could he possibly think that she had no brain activity? They had to be talking about someone else! There had to be someone else in the room, someone she had not heard… but there was the fact that her hearing appeared to be so very sensitive. How could she have missed another person when she could still clearly hear the unsteady, calm sounding beeping of the heart monitor over the shuffling feet and the breathing of the man and other people in the room?

How could her heart and breathing be so calm sounding when she was mentally screaming out for help, using every ounce of her strength just to make her body take a breath out of time? How could they be right when she could still hear them? How…

“What about her family?” A deep voice, almost gravely and straight from the gut asked even as crystal struggled with the thought that they were talking about her and not someone else.

A different voice answered from the first “Sir, the family appears to believe that the subject died in the initial crash and at their request we shipped them a body that they accepted as her remains… The cremation and funeral were yesterday afternoon!”

Oh Gods no… All the hopes that had suddenly jumped to her mind when they mentioned her family shattered as crystal began to understand what the third man was saying. She was dead, her family had cremated her and was preparing to get on with their lives… These people had lied though! The man had said A body!… not her body… What had they done to her? Crystal would have thrown the biggest tantrum of he life on the lot of them if she could have just managed to get her body to respond!

“I still don’t believe that a female is right for this project, especially with the shape this body was in before we acquired it!” Crystal decided that he was gravel gust from this moment on in her mind and his tone of voice for that statement would have insulted even the most old-fashioned of women.

Bigot! Crystal decided that telling gravel guts to have the stick from up his a** surgically removes sounded like a grand idea when she got her voice back. What a jerk! sure she was not really the most physically fit person in the world, but she was not exactly a fat a** either… stare

“Yes Sir, Master Talondrous said that out of the previous candidates for the project this one has the most un-lockable potential that he has seen, and it is that side of the project that we have had so much trouble with thus far…” That man she labeled Dr. Deranged, because he sounded like the one with the medical knowledge but he also had the worst bedside manner that she had ever heard.

None of this made any sense to crystal, and she was still reeling from the fact that they had faked her death.

“Yes I understand…. After all, the monsters are all very strong.” She could hear Gravel Guts turn and start to head back the way they had all come as Dr. Deranged coughed uncomfortably at what he had said.

They were all moving away again and crystal wanted to scream at them to stay, to explain what the hell they were talking about! She didn’t want to be alone with all these thoughts and unanswered questions. Her mind was still screaming at them to all stay when she realized that they had not all left, there was still someone in the room, heavy steps approached, but they were hesitant?

The steps were very slow and defiantly had a touch of hesitancy to them as she listened, they almost seemed to be shuffling back a little with every step forward. Could this person be so upset by what they saw as to want to run back the way they had come with every step?

A brush of sound at her head, so close that it was almost defining, but crystal had no reference to tell her what that noise was supposed to be.

“I’m sorry… I was only following orders…” A new voice, soft but very deep. Defiantly another man, and there was no way to deni the regret in his voice.

The noise repeated itself almost regularly as she listened to him breathe. Who was he? Was he apologizing for what had happened to her, or for something else? Gods what she would give for her eyes to open, or to manage a few words of her own…

The noise continued for a few more moments before it stopped and he sighed to himself before moving away from her and out of the room, his steps slow and heavy, as if he was reluctant to go now.

Please don’t go… Don’t leave me all lone again… Crystal learned then that it was possible to cry in you own mind for she found herself sobbing in despair as the only sounds she could hear were the unsteady beep of the heart monitor, the slow drip of the IV and her own deep breaths…

[ Message temporarily off-line ]

Just Another Saturday Night
~~~

It was just another Saturday night, or at least that's what he always told himself. Letting out a breath of air, he trudged along, making his way from the bus stop, eyes downcast as he moved along at a steady pace.

"..." He glanced at his watch every now and then, as if wondering if he was late, or maybe early. It was always the same, the days hot and sticky; the nights cold and chilling. Pulling the jacket closer to his body, he stopped, long enough to remove a worn out cigarette from a beat up carton. Holding it with his lips, he took out a book of matches, striking it several times a small flame finally appeared and the cigarette came to life.

"Hey." The voice drifted out from behind him, and normally he would have been wary at someone sneaking up on him, but he recognized that voice. Only one person could have it after all.

"Hi.. sorry I'm late." He said with gruffness, as he turned around, a trail of smoke rising above his head, losing itself into the night. In front of him was a young man, about the same age as himself, wearing a pair of glasses, a black and white striped scarf around his neck. A buttoned up jacket covered his body, and his hair was wavering slightly, as if he had doen a rush job to comb it.

"Late? When are you never late?" Both men laughed softly, before walking down the street again, now that they had met up. The walkw as silent for the most part, only the sounds of their footfalls heard every now and then until the silence was broken.

"They want to get me banned, did you know?" The smoker said, with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, his head turning to the side to look at his companion.

"Say what?" The other replied, with genuine surprise, which ended in a tired tone. This wasn't the first time he'd heard something like this anyway. "No ******** way, for what?!"

The smoker, merely kept staring forward as they both walked, silent for a moment. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he couldn't beleive it himself. Maybe it just hurt too much to even answer his brother. For yes.. they were indeed brothers. "Chih..."

"....." Pushing up his glasses, he didn't say anything for a while. Their footfalls continued sounding out along the street. "I'll be damned if she doesn't have a connection to that. I dont know if you talked to him to verify things, but I stand by what I said a while back. I'll help the people I've been helping, like assisting that boy and finishing his transformation. And then I'm leaving, no show, I'm just hitting the quit button and walking out."

The stretch of silence continued on, only the dull red of his cigarette showing in the gloom of the late night. Finally, without another breath he said, "I'll go too."

Soft laughter, as both men decided to stop, perhaps to rest a bit. the laughter came from him, as he was pushing up his glasses, leanign against the rear end of a car. Resting against the back of a wall, the smoker tilted his head to the side, blowing out more smoke. He listened as his brother spoke to him.

"I honestly dont have any reason to stay, dont get me wrong, I'll be in the old home with the children. But this guild is dead, I owe a few people things and it would be wrong of me to leave them hanging, but I have no home there anymore." He said, in a solemn tone, while looking at his smoking brother.

"I've been trying to leave for the longest." Was all the smoker replied with, his eyes staring at whatever was ahead of them both.

"I'll ask that man first, before I go back to where it all started." The black covered man said, pushing up his glasses yet again; it was quite the habit. A good one compared to his brother's habit. "I'll ask if he wants me to go away, and if he says yes, I will."

Almost a snort of laughter, and turning his eyes back on his brother, the smoker stared at him, shaking his head. "You know he won't say yes." Taking hold of the cigarette between his fingertips, he managed to blow out a ring of smoke, as he started up to the moonlit sky. "Why do you think people want you gone? Why are you the one to pack up and go?" He shook his head, from side to side, still smiling to himself. "Its me everyone always wanted gone." Turnign is gaze back to his brother he said, "When are you gonna realize that already?"

The spectacled man replied quietly, "If theres no place for my family, theres no place for me."

"Dont get dragged down with me." The words cut into each other, as if they were two different swords, biting into one another, but never able to woud each other.

"It doesnt always involve you bro, the fact is true that if theres no place for you I wont feel right. But dont go super-heroic. Be realistic, even the best part of that place is dead. That guild, used to be dying, and we were sad, we promised worlds of change, but we sat on our asses and it fell apart. Its dead now, and no one can bring it back." The man said matter-of-factly, with another push of his glasses.

It always had bothered him how real his brother's words could sound, as if he always saw the truth in things. Were his own eyes always clouded then? Was he a blind old man then?

His train of though was broken, as his brother spoke once more. "I always get kreeped out in graveyards."

Closing his eyes, he banged the back of his head against the wall as he leaned against it, takign a deep drag of his cigarette, before speaking out. "I'm not dead yet." Yellowed eyes opened, but they weren't really yellow. "With one last move I'll make everything right." His brows furrowed, but they really weren't furrowing. "Look in my eyes and you'll see my conviction. My blood will grow the most beautiful of flowers; you'll see." A shadow of a man.. a strong man, a fiery man.

The other just watched quietly, not saying anything. "....." Pushing up his glasses, he let out a sight. Discontent? Tiredness? Disbelief maybe? "Brother this is me..." He pushed off the car, and strode over to the smoker. "I'm very, very simple." He leaned in close, and plucked out the cigarette from the smoker's mouth, letting it fall away to the ground. "I dont get anything out of the epic anime lines beside desperation."

He leaned back now, taking off his glasses, and staring down the street, from where they had walked. "And desperation doesnt suit you well." He blew hot air against the lens of his glasses, his head bent down. "Drastic measures do nothing beyond proving their point." Taking the ends of his jacket, he cleaned out the lens, before putting his glasses back on.

With a low growl, he folded his arms across his chest, annoyed at having his cigarette taken from him. "There's nothing epic behind a dying's mans last words." He pushed off the wall, and started walkignf orward once more. "And if the feelings in my soul come out as silly then I'm sorry, but this is how I feel." His head was downcast as he continued moving along. " Its probaly best if I left."

"Blah blah blah."

He stopped in his tracks, his back to his brother.


"Giving up." He turned his head to the side slightly, but all he saw was the sheen from his brother's glasses int he dark. Like a loomign shadow, the othe rman stood there, as if he were at home.. and would never leave. His heart skipped several beats.. it was.. strange.

"Its not you brother, and it looks terrible on you." Walking forward, the scarf around his neck billowing slightly, his brother was smiling. "The only thing that looks worse, is stubborn-ness."

Standing there, almost seemingly dumb-struck, the older one just clenched his fists. "So what do you want me to do then?" His eyes shut tightly, as he stared to the ground. "I can't please anyone!"

"Give up, explode and kill yourself. You want action, you want notice, you want to actually have something to do. And day after day, after day of constant boredom has made you angsty, has made you cranky, has made you snap at people.I know, because I feel it too, the exact same thing." His words cut like daggers into his resolve.

Who was he kidding.. what resolve did he have?

"Dont please everyone, your not a savior, or god." A hand came up and rested firmly upon his shoulder.

"Why do you hate them so much?" Wa shis only reply.. as he continued staring down at the floor, not willing to look into his brother's eyes.

"Please one person, find yourself a purpose, a person and please them. ******** everyone else." His brother continued on, as if purposelly bypassing the question, to get to a mroe pressing destination. "Its funny---"

He looked up, glancing to the spectacled man, a questioning look on his face.

"Your the one who acts mean to every one of them, but you love them." That haunting smile again.. as if it were peircing right into his soul, ripping out all the infedilities, and taking hold of everythign that mattered.

"I put on this smile and kindness, but beside those I consider my family, or those I call friend in private...I hate them all. Your a brother true and true,not by blood but its undenyable. I could never hate you." He squeezed the smoker's shoulder's reassuringly, as he nodded to himself. " But beside that I am disappointed by every sign and action those "children" do. They refuse to grow up, they refuse to fix their problem even when the answer is to simple."

"I'm one of those children." The smoekr stammered out, his eyes becoming clouded.

"Heh, no your not." The smile brightened considerably, as he let his hand fall from the shoulder, and pushed his glasses up once more. "Thats the problem." He turned to the side slightly, and stood facing the opposite side of the street. "Your not. But you want to be."

The smoker, closed his eyes, finding himself on the ground, on his knees, breathing hard. " And like little kids when they get old enough, they laugh at the old man, he's not cool anymore."

"Help me clean it all up." Was all the smoker could say, staring down at his hands.

"Its the way they find these huge problems in tiny things, then they look back and say how stupid all the problems were...only to do it all over again." His borther continued on, standing by his side.

"Help me clean up my mess please.." The smoker said again.

His brother shook his head, speaking softly as he replied, "I feel like Mr. Incredible said, "I'm like the maid, 'I just fixed this mess cant you people keep it clean, for FIVE MINUTES!?!'" A soft chuckle escaped the spectacled man's lips. "But its been a long time since I helped anything brother."

"Please."

"I'm not.. ready."

His brother, quirked an eyebrow, staring down at the smoker. "Not ready for what?"

"I don't know. I just know I'm not ready."

Shaking his head, he spoke again. "I'm not part of the solution any more brother. I'm part of the problem. In a year I've gone from helper, savior, rescuer, and declined into that place to murderer, and modder. If I were me, I'd take my sword to my own neck."

Soft laughter echoed out, as the smoker shaked, his laughs echoing otu against the empty street. "So we're all just a bunch of pitiful has beens then. Nothing to do but whine and watch things pass us by." His fist banged into the ground, the knuckles reddening.

"I'm tired of it. Tired of myself."

His brother could only smile, as he pushed up his glasses once more. "Decided to open your eyes?" The spectacled man, knelt down beside his brother, lfiting the bruised hand up. "I've never heard purer truth from you before in my life. I cant speak for anyone else, but I know thats what I've become."

Eyes narrowed as the smoker merely shook his hand free, droplets of blood staining the ground. "Forward.. move forward.. nothing to do but move forward. I want to stand on that roof with you, laughing at the world; with cape billowing."

Silence stretched on.

"I want to move forward and reach that goal."

"And you will."

Another stretch of silence.. "Do you think any less of me.. brother?" the smoker asked, breakign the silence.

"Less?" The brother scoffed, as he smoothed a hand over the front of his jacket. "Let me ask you something, its off topic, but stick with me...
Have you read the bible? All of it I mean."

"Yea."

The brother nodded to himself, and pushed his glasses up once more. "Back when you were going for preisthood, did you love god? It relates I promise, just stick with me."

Taking hold of another cigarette, he slid it out of that beat up pack as he responded. "Yes, I did."

"Did you love him even after you read about things like Sodom and Gamora? Or about how he left the Isrealites in the desert for 40 years feeding off Manna? Or how moses had to die, for one mistake?"

"I did."

The flick of a match, and the cigarette was lit.

"Then how can I love you less, after these tiny things you see as so bad?" Like a hammer-fall, the resound pounding of his words etched themselves into the smoker's heart.

"Heh." Soft laughter escaped his throat, his body shuddering slightly.

"Why are you laughing at me?" The spectacled man, got comfortable on the ground, spreadout his legs and leaning back lazily. "Is it that hard to believe?" He yawned slightly, before turning his head to the side, watching a seagull flap its wings, takign enough lift to cross the street. "If you cant believe the answer, why ask the question? I've lied to alot of people in my life brother, but not to you."

The silence that stretched on was deafening, almost frightening. The laughter had logn since subsided.. the cigarette burned out into the ground. both men sat their quietly, for a good twelve minutes, before the coda was broken.

"I'm laughing because I always feel so dumb next to you, like a kid looking at a big wall. And he never realizes where the door is."


His brother suddenly burst into laughter as well, throwing his head back slightly. "Funny--- Because I always feel like the kid waiting in line for an autograph, shaky hands, sweaty brow. Memories that just let him be awe struck by what this person is."

The smoker merely shook his head. "You should be past all that now.. the real thing can't live up to the 'legend'. Or so the saying goes."

He added after a bit, "Not that its a bad thing. Because I often wonder who admires who more."

Shaking his head, his brother grinned ear to ear. "Naw, its not like that. See, that kid waits in line, then he walks up, his hands sweaty and he hands the guy the notebook, and the guy goes "Bro you didnt have to wait in line, I coulda signed it when we got home a hundred times". And instantly you feel cool, just for knowing that person, at all."

"I'd shake your hand if I could right now."

"Just remember that feeling and do it in august."

His brother continued, standing up once more, and stretching out slightly. "Thats what I'm doing anyway. As for the guild, brother, I'm sorry. You dont have the power to change anything in it anymore, and the only person who does, doesnt care. We'd need to take command and authority." He stretched out an arm to the smoker, offering to help him stand back up on his feet. "The children, with their anime powers would need to understand that there are rules, and respect. And if they continue to be kids, they can be sent to a school to be trained, and or, quit, or be banned."

The smoker took the offer, and was puleld back up to his feet, the cogarette forgotten about, as he listened to his brother speaking. "Why cant we do that? Because now everyone see's everyone in the lounge, its not even ABOUT the game anymore." Nodding to himself, he tapped his chin, his glasses sliding a bit down the bridge of his nose. "First and fore-most thing I would do is delete that thread. And note that any chatter that dominates a page will result in the subsequent posts being deleted, and if it continues a temp ban. In the past we never did these things, in the age you and I were in we had respect, its gone now and it needs to be taught."

Both men started walking forward once more, walking down the street, as the headlights of cars passed them by, like streaming stars, swallowed into the blackhole that was the boulevard.

"But niether of us has the power to do it. The age that we grew up in is dead, theres no respect. Everyone is already a master, or a goku. The screening process has failed. I could kill everyone, but its useless. Its already dead."

"I guess all thats left is to have fun."

"Heh, hehahahaaaaaa." His brother started up into laughter, as they continued walkign along. Turnign his head to the side, he said-- "Optimism, when did you learn that?"

"About 50 seconds ago."

"Damn. Late in the game bro, too late." The spectacled man shook his head. "You cant play obliterate against a burn deck when you have no creatures and you know they have a stack of mana."

Smiling, the smoker spoke quietly. "I always pull the card I need when I'm in trouble."

His brother responded solemnly. "Sorry, we dont have a "become mod" card.."

The stretch of silence took place once more, as they both came to the corner. They waited for the light to turn red, so they could walk. The smoker stood out on the street, while his brother waited patiently on the sidewalk edge. The stark difference between both men.. apparent in even their actions.

"Maximos."

The smoker turned his head, a little surprised.. but why should he be.

"Is going to turn human. He's going to fight someone, one of our super powered gods pretending he's still a shadow. And he's going to die." The light turned, and it was safe to cross. They both started out, the long walk to reach the other side.

"Cerebus will make the coffin and their'll be a funeral."

Silence.

"I hope you'll be there."

Walking forward, slightly hunched over, with both hands stuffed into his pockets, the smoker curtly said, "There'll have to be two coffins then."

"It'll prove the point brother." The smoker stopped, and turned to face his brother, they both stood in the middle of the street. "It'll prove it finally, the only way I know how." his brother stared up to the sky, arms streching out wide. "I WILL fight to my fullest and best. As a human being, but it will not be enough for one super god. Like the ones we have running around."

It started out slow. Drop by drop.. bit by bit, the skies darkened, the clouds amassed and it broke free, with the rolling thunder.

Like the widespread
wings of a bird
at last...
The final fateful
thunder!!!


"They will have no respect and kill me, like they kill each other. Maybe people will then see that this has become a place of Ego, Pride, and Super Power, not skill." The rain poured on down, drenching both brothers, as they stood there, staring at each other.

"Your death, will just give them what they want. Dont do that." The brother said as he pushed his glasses up.

"I'm one of those gods you hate." the smoker replied.

"No your not." His brother said, smiling.

"My death is what they want." the smoker said, the rain runnign rivers down the street.

"Which is why they shouldnt have it." Closing his eyes, his brother stared up once more to the darkened skies, standing there under the downpour, as if the rains could clean away all the firt from both their souls. "My death is what they DONT want. So they should get it."

He pointed straight at the smoker, finger outstretched. "Your not a god, your a legend, sitting in the temple his people built for him, and shoved him in. And wondering, why dont they come around anymore. We are like the old people yelling becaue the rules of the game have changed."

The smoker stood there in the rain, staring at his brother, eyes clouding and glad for the rain that hid tears that freely rolled down his cheeks. "I dont want you gone."

A soft smile, as the specatcled man, pushed his glasses up yet again. "Its ok. I really havent been there much anyway."

The stillness of the silence was broken, by the beeping and buzzing of something. After a moment, the smoker managed to pull out what appeared to be a cell phone. Answering the call, he stood there, slightly turned from his brother.

"Tell her I said 'Hi'."

The smoker looked to his brother. "She says hi back..."

"And thats about as far as any of my conversations with Women go." The spectacled man said, laughing softly, as he started walkign forward, through the rain.

"I just listen a lot." the smoker said softly, as he resumed walking alongside his brother, the both of them heading for the edge.

"Good man."

"I wish."

A slight pause.. before the smoker spoke again, as the two of them sloshed through the muddy waters at their feet. "Sometimes I look at my brother sleeping.. And I see innocence. No realization of the world hes coming into. No level of understanding. I see pure unhindered joy at seeing the world thats aroudn him, with no concept of it being bad. And I find myslf envious. I find myself glad."

He raised a hand, to wipe away the water on his face.

"I want to make it a place that my brother can grow up in without fighting. So he can always keep that smile.. unhindered."

"Your a good person."

The spectacled man scratched at his nose idly, as they both continued walking, walking.. walking. "I see the same world and I see pain. I see suffering. I see person after person broadcasting with pride the stupidity of this race, and all that it stands for. I see a race given everything and destroying everything. Hell I see myself as one of them. I see a child and I see them cry begging for what they want, only what they want or else....you want to see peace."

The spectacled man continued on, finally just taking off his glasses, and shaking his drenched hair to and fro, that scarf of his damp to its maximum as it clung to his chest. "I dont think we deserve to infect this world any more. The good are so far and inbetween they couldnt help if they tried. Unfortunately I know, that honestly, I am not one of the good. I'm just a bad person. I dont deserve life either, but I'll leech it."

"Are we all devils then." The gruff response left the smoker's lips.

After a short pause, his brother smiled gently and spoke tentatively. "No, there are people like you, saints hidden in the guise and belief that their purity is a curse. And that they SHOULD be devils. No, your honestly a good and nice person. And you think your a monster."

The spectacled man laughed lightly as he pointed ot his own chest. "I AM a monster. But for some reason they see me as good."


"We see the world through a kalidescope of dreams. I guess.."

"I see it in shades of gray."

Another lengthy stretch of silence... before it was broken by the brother.

"If you had it to take into your own hands, to save everything, would you do it?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, as he raised his left arm. As they continued to walk along, he clentched his fist slightly. "I'm not super-man, So I can't say anything big like I'll protect everyone on earth."

"I'm not a modest guy who will say it's enough if I cna protect as many people as my two hands can handle either. I just want to protect and save... A moutain-load of people."

"And if you could start with the arena, taking it into your own hands, would you?"

The smoker smiled brightly, for that breif moment. "I would."

"Even despite what they said?"

"If a man could die.. forgiving an entire race.. I think I can forgive one stadium."

Rolling his eyes, his brother scoffed as he grinned and spoke with sarcasm. "Oh you just HAD to bring HIM into this..." a short pause.. and his brother spoke in a serious tone. "You know if I were there, I wouldnt have let him waste his life like that."

A slight hand-motion, as he waved his brother off, the smoker shook his head. "He died thinking it wasn't a waste.. he died at peace with himself I think."

"I'd hate to know what he thinks now."

"Its obvious by now."

"Is it? What do you think he would think now?"

Smiling yet again, the smoker turned his face to his brother. "He would think theres still hope."

His brother snorted slightly, and shook his head. "Hmph."

"What would you expect from someone who gave his life?"

another stretch of silence, as the rain started to ease up, their walking carrying them down the boulevard. The smoker, closed his eyes for a bit. "Remember Pandora's Box?" he said to his brother.

"Opened and caused thousand years of darkness?" His brother responded, with a push of his glasses.. but they weren't there anymore.

"Even in that, Hope was there."

"Where?"

"Thats right.. you might not have seen it. Any one would just about drop the box at seeing all that terror. But it was there. The last to come out, small and weak. But it was there; Hope." The smoker nodded as he spoke.

His brother laughed gently. "Why dont I remember that part of the story?"

"Because you were like me.. we dropped the box from fear. Fear at the awful truth of it all."

A short pause, and the smoker shook his head. "I sound stupid, I know. Sorry. I'm not as good with words as you."

"No, thats not why I was silent."

"..."

"I was thinking."

The smoker nodded silently.

"That and that scene at the end of Metropolis with Ray Charles singing, always hooks me."

"Chih..."

They stopped, both standing before what looked like the entrance to an apartment building. Standing under the awning, they tried to dry themselves off, the both of them quiet and in their own thoughts..

"So this random person-- Random, last person from left field. IM's me, and tells me how much I've helped them, and how me you, and a few others were like unbeatable masters but now he looks forward to trying to fight each one of us and learning to be better. And actually thanks me, and all of us, for the help we gave him, with or without knowing."

Soft laughter escaped the smoker's throat as he tilted his head back. "Hope."

His brother stared at him for a moment, before putting his glasses back on. ".....you made him say that didnt you?"

"Don't be an idiot."

The rain continued on.. it would eventually stop.

It always came to a stop.

I hate rain.

It rains in you too.

When you are moody, it becomes cloudy.

When you are sad, the rain comes down..

I can't stand it.
Can you understand?

How horrible it is to get rained on when you are all alone?

In order to prevent that from happening..

I'll lend you whatever power you need!

If you can trust me...

I won't let one drop of rain fall from that sky!!

It was just... another night.

~fin~