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 Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 8:43 pm
@_@ Now, it had been recently he had first experienced some strong emotions. The first were unpleasant because it was sorrow and sadness, but this... this was pure astonishment. Filix? Filix? What? When? What was he supposed to do now? He hadn't read books on this.
He coughed and fidgeted a little like a courtier in the royal court for the first time. A blush even started to form on his cheeks. This was no admirer from afar- that he could deal with politely, delicately, and with no emotion. And she wasn't sitting next to him on his bed.
"I... " He coughed again. This was silly. He was just conversing with Filix. "I wasn't aware of... that." Wow. That was a very smooth line there. =_=;; He hated to admit it, but Rosa was more eloquent than he was now with Filix.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 8:50 pm
Every single second was a week to Filix, or at least, it was how she felt it. Prehaps she could have just kept quiet, and not said anything. But she had to, and she had to do it while he was tired.
"I'm sorry, Aesculus. I know you weren't aware, and maybe I shouldn't have told you." Filix muttered, staring at her hands. "I tried to pretend it wasn't there and you need not worry about it. It's my fault, and I'll think of something..."
Her own face had gone bright red, and Filix was having trouble saying much more. But she stood up, added, "I'm sure you'll like the book, it's a list of areas in Gaia that are rumored to be old fey areas."
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:02 pm
"No... emotions are not something to apologize for," he said simply as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and managed to stand sturdily. No, he wasn't going to let her just walk out like nothing was bothering her at all, as if she were some simpleton fan of his that was wrong in even dropping by. She wasn't one of them. He wouldn't let her walk away.
All that pent up energy, all the calm demeanor, all the exterior that made him seem cold was not him. He wouldn't let her see that and just leave like that was all there was; he was real. If he allowed, he could be explosive and impulsive like Rosa.
As he stood he took a step forward, letting the books fall to the floor and put his arms around her shoulders from behind, since she was turned to the door as intent as she was on leaving.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:09 pm
"I'm... sure there's a way to avoid emotions when needed." Filix replied, still avoiding looking at him. She could hear him moving, and the books falling.
But the more she thought about waht she just said, the fainter she felt. But sternly Filix told herself, she wasn't going to faint, she was stronger than that. She just had to breathe.
And then Aesculus's arms came around Filix from behind, and her cheeks flared up again. All movement towards the door stopped, and she really did feel like she was about to fall down in a faint. "Aesculus?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:16 pm
"Emotions can not be avoided. Channeled, perhaps... recognized and somehow supressed, yes... but to avoid them? How can you avoid something that overcomes your mind?" He rested his head next to hers on her shoulder. He didn't know what to do, except prevent her from leaving.
This was kind of embarassing, really. What was he doing? He hadn't read about this! Cervus was better with this... women... thing. And he certainly wasn't going to go to Rosa for any aid.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:23 pm
Filix was unable to answer, her words catching in her throat when he rested his head next to hers. She wrapped both arms around her middle, looking down at the ground. "I... I'm not sure, I'd have to try and see what method works the best?"
But standing there, she had to agree with him. Right now there was no way she could ignore her emotions, her heart was racing, Filix had trouble breathing, and the feeling of him close was... well, it wasn't too innocent, Filix suspected, and far too strong to pretend wasn't there. She'd just not pay it any attention.
She glanced sideways, one of her hands letting go and moving upwards to take one of his. Filix wasn't sure why he was still keeping her there, he hadn't claimed he had the same feelings. Did he feel bad for her?
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:28 pm
This wasn't entierly proper courtship, he was sure. Somewhere in his mind he imagined that the man was supposed to send flowers and poetry and dates required chaperones and a close attention to detail. There was nothing about having a woman court you, in your room, and you rush to hold her. That was certain.
"Is that what course of action you truly want to take? To channel your emotions into another outlet, to suppress them into the depths of your mind?" It didn't sound entirely healthy; perhaps for him it was rational, being an advisor one had to be cool-headed... but a lady didn't need to always be quite so proper, countess or no.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:39 pm
Filix stared back at the floor again, too embarrassed to be able to reply for a bit. She wasn't sure what he wanted, and as much as she knew what she was feeling, and how much she wanted to turn around and kiss him boldly... Filix couldn't act on it.
"No, I don't want to surpress them. I'd want it to be..." The word 'returned' refused to come out, getting stuck in Filix's throat, so she continued, "Emotions are a terribly confusing thing. I'm not sure what to do." Filix finished quietly, the hand dropping from his to rest limply by her side. She wasn't sure if she should leave or not now... he was keeping her there, and Filix had no objections to that. It was the uncertainty and helplessness that was getting to her, she wasn't sure what to do and it scared her.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:52 pm
>_> He was eyeing the room for a moment. This was hard... he wasn't usually impulsive, and not only that, his legs felt tingly from not having moved from a cramped position so long. How could he delicately move her? Hrm... this would require... grace and a short burst of stength.
After a moment he swept her off her feet and laid her on the bed gently, remaining calm enough to not let his breath be in gulps and give in he was a little... out of shape at the moment. After he had done so he laid down next to her.
"We will lay here until you are sure what you would like to do. I would stand, but if you truly want to think deeply, I don't imagine standing would be too comfortable." Oh dear, and this might look wrong. Too late! Impulsiveness be damned. There was a reason he liked to think things through.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:04 pm
Without meaning to, Filix found herself waiting for his response with her breath drawn. But she didn't expect his next move, Filix was unable to react till he'd lain her on the bed and was moving to lay next to her.
Filix stared sideways at him, even more unsure now. Male and female on bed, that usually meant... but that was something she'd never pictured Aesculus rushing to, like a human teenage boy, and he was just as aware of courtship matters as she was... No, that couldn't be it. Right?
But then, she currently didn't care. Filix was facing him, and that craving to kiss Aesculus was only strengthened tenfold. What he told her didn't help either, and she leaned forward. "I know what I want to do." Filix said softly, "I'm just not sure if it's the right thing to do." But right thing or not, she did it. Filix leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to Aesculus's lips.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:18 pm
@__@ Okay. This was definately not in the books on courtly love, on the way that things were done properly; hell, it wasn't in any book. She had kissed him! That wasn't allowed... he was supposed to be the one making all the advances to which she would very shyly reply.
This was also entirely unfair since she had had practice with this kissing notion with Equus before- and although he wasn't the jealous sort, this did ignite a new sort of feeling deep within his gut he was not yet willing to admit even to himself.
He touched her hair and kissed her back gently, stroking her cheek as the strands of emerald fell from between his fingers. "Shhh... this is enough for now. Everything in time..." A brief smile on his face. Nothing to be rushed. It should all be in proper time, to savor it. His arm lazily fell across her.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:26 pm
Filix's entire body flopped, partly in relief, and partly relaxing. She'd kissed him, perhaps not the right order... but he hadn't pushed her away, or rejected the idea.
Her body trembled a bit when his arm rested across hers, and Filix ran a hand up it till it was wrapped around Aesculus's back. She nodded at what he'd said, her face was aglow with happiness, and she could only stare at him. Had that just happened? It'd be a cruel hallucination if not. "It's more than enough." Filix replied, cheeks going red again. She really wasn't used to feeling like this, it was so different from the feelings she'd had for Equus. So much better, even.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:33 pm
He lazily closed his bright golden eyes, as despite she had caught him just as he had woken, he only awoke for spurts of energy every hour or so and napped inbetween. It was the way his body was yelling at him to let himself rest and he was screaming back to his body he'd keep going about his day to day business. It was gradually getting back into proportion, but that was before he was so worried and intense over Filix.
"You don't have to stay," he murmured to her quietly. He knew how this looked, but at the same time, doubted anyone besides the invisible audience of his mind cared.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:40 pm
Aesculus's tiredness sparked that worry she'd felt before, and for a few moments, Filix looked at him with something else on her mind. She couldn't help but worry before, and now...
She stroked his cheek affectionately, and leaned up to kiss his forehead. Filix wasn't going to leave just yet, the castle outside seemed too dark and sad, and Neith's mood something Filix wanted to avoid. No one would notice or care about where she was, and right now, courting etiquette was the least of her worries.
"I want to stay, if it's all right with you," Filix leaned back again and relaxed.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:42 pm
He hadn't heard her reply; it wasn't that he didn't care, but quite simply that he didn't mind either answer, and so he let himself relax. The muscles of his face relaxed with his mind, and so his face lost all sense of sterness and control as it become innocent like everyone who ever had peaceful sleep.
Everything was starting to become even more confusing...
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